Love Bite: Entry #1
This fictional series contains foreign language, Nigerian slangs and some inappropriate use of diction. This is for the proper portrayal of the character.
Love Bite #Entry 1
It had become my favorite place— lying beneath the beautiful, twinkling Lagos night sky, on the bonnet of my old Corolla, listening to the sounds of the city night. We lived on Garrison street, a small community tucked away in a matrix of Lagos Mainland residential neighborhoods.
In the yellow hue of the street lights, stood the magnificent houses of Garrison, most of them Georgian style with columns and towering gates of intricate detail and designs.
We lived in the only two-bedroom apartment on the street and shared the building with three other families, each in their unit of the landlord's "four-flat".
In the distance, a horn honked, an odd bird cawed, and a wandering okada whirred into the night.
Soon, everything seemed to fade out to the low rumble of static and music from Ernest’s radio, and to the delicate tink-tink-tink of the crazed insects slamming their bodies against the fluorescent tube above Ernest’s gatehouse, like drunken worshippers.
I glanced at my phone sitting on the bonnet next to me. Its screen was still dark. I lit it up with a click.
Nothing new.
It was 10:39pm.
My heart thumped against my chest.
No rush, Lani. I took a deep breath and leaned my head on my windscreen, sure about the residue of the coconut oil and leave-in conditioner cloud from my twist-outs. A gentle breeze carried by, filling my maxi dress with its coolness and a few mosquitoes too.
After getting rid of the confused mosquitoes lost beneath my dress, my back rested against the windscreen and my gaze wandered to the neighbor's window across the street.
The Salamis' window showed the lights from their TV bouncing off their ceiling. They were probably asleep on their sofa. I tried to keep my mind focused on the lights at the Salamis’. That didn’t work. My gaze turned to another window. The window of the house which shared a fence with the Salamis on the right. The windows were dark, except one; the upper window of the room on the left. Its curtains were drawn and warm light spewed from the edges. A familiar shadow glided across the curtains.
My phone lit up next to me. My fingers scrambled for it.
💬 J.R.K: Hey
A chill rippled down my back. My thumbs hovered over my keypad. I looked from my phone to the neighbors’ window and back again, staring into the blue light. When I looked up again, the light had gone out. The darkness became intimate, my heart throbbed, my breath, deep and quick.
💬 Me: Hey
I dropped the phone back in its place with a clatter— like it burnt my hands.
A whole minute passed before my screen lit up again. I may have forgotten to breathe.
💬 J.R.K : Come over
I picked up my phone and slid off the slippery bonnet, willing my feet one pace at a time, one foot in front of the other. My chest ached and my heart beat wild and uncontrolled. I tapped on Ernest’s door. After a heartbeat, he stumbled outside his gatehouse, still groggy, one arm fought into a sleeve of his shirt, while the other searched for the gate keys in his trouser pocket, he dragged his feet in worn slippers with the prongs of his slippers between the wrong toes.
“Well done, Ma.” He said, as he fiddled with the gate padlock.
He held the gate open and I stepped into the yellow glow of the street lamps that lined Garrison street. The gate closed behind me.
Twenty long strides brought me to the gate of the neighbor’s home. It was tall and black, imposing and comforting all at once.
💬 Me: here
In a few seconds, the pedestrian section in the big black gate opened without a creak and I slipped in. The gateman said nothing.
His silence judged me.
Why are you here? It seemed to say.
Again?
Do you not know Madam is in the house?
Aren’t you the wife of a holy man?
Such audacity!
But a gate man wouldn't know such a word and that was comforting. It wasn't anyone's business anyhow.
I slipped around the dark house to the backyard, keeping to the shadows of the wall and trees. In the distance, a dog barked and a silent generator rumbled ever so lightly.
The Boys’ Quarters in the backyard had two front doors, each leading into two separate rooms. I turned the knob on the first door, and stepped in, quiet as air. The familiar damp, dusty smell of the room tickled my nostril hairs. My pulse quickened and my heart pushed against my chest in steady throbs. The security lights streamed through the bare windows, lighting the path past the large pool table. Just then, my phone screen lit up, like Christmas lights, its vibrations loud and incessant, like a fussy child. It fell out of my hand on the tiled floor in a loud clatter. I paused for a moment, frozen in the dark. When the stillness echoed, I picked it up and kept walking, past the bar and around the sofa, into the bedroom and into its en-suite bathroom.
My hands felt for the cool ceramic sink and my right hand found the tap. The cool water on my face seemed to calm me. I exhaled, blowing drops of water on my darkened reflection in the mirror.
Deep breath, Lani.
The water was still trickling in a silent stream, when the front door opened.
I stopped, my eyes wide in the dark. Faint footsteps approached the bedroom. I didn't move. My breath quickened and I heard my heart beat in my ears. He appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. Jare. He was here. His silhouette against the filtered light was dark and tall. He stepped into the small bathroom, surrounding me with his fresh masculine fragrance. I was lost in its haze. His arm drew me into himself. His lips found mine. He tasted sweet, like a fruit.
“I’ve missed you.” He whispered.
His breathing heavy and fast. His lips traced my neck. His hands lost under the train of my dress, pushing and lifting.
He lifted me unto the bathroom sink, my bare thighs tingling against the sink. I had just wrapped my legs around him, when a quick flash of light shone through the bathroom window.
We jerked apart, but my legs still hung on his waist. His hands hidden in the cascade of my dress.
We froze in its glare, like two deer.
There was silence.
The light swung by again, then steadied, boring in through the closed window, straight at us. The light bearer seemed to take in the moment, as we squinted into the light. Suddenly it went off.
“You need to go.”Jare said. He lifted me off the sink.
“No…” I protested, struggling against him.
“This isn't the time. Just go.” He whispered, his voice husky and firm.
We stumbled through the living area, tripping over my maxi dress twice. The door swung open, we burst into the compound, keeping to the shadows until we got to the gate.
“Ajibade” Jare whispered, his voice frayed with urgency. He called his gateman again. The gatehouse was still and quiet, as the rest of the house. Jare tapped on the door.
The door opened and Ajibade stepped out.
“Well done, sir.” He stifled a yawn.
“Open the gate.”Jare ordered,”Nah you dey flash light for BQ?”
“No sir.” Ajibade stepped out of his gatehouse peeping round the back of the house, the fuzzy ball on top of his head warmer flopped around.
Jare ushered me out of the gate. His smile apologetic. The gate closed in my face before I could say goodnight. I walked home under the yellow street lamps, my heart still pounding.
Somebody had known we were there, but who?
Copyright ©2017 by IkeOluwapo Adegboye
Entry #2 out soon...
34 Questions Every Nigerian Ex-Primary School Student Should Ask
It was children's day last weekend! I don't know about you, but it brought back memories for me; childhood memories! Parties, puffy pigtails, amusement parks, Fanta, and of course, school! I wouldn't trade my memories of attending a Nigerian primary school for the world. It was so much fun and full of peculiar events and traditions. Very peculiar. We actually did somethings that our contemporaries in other parts of the world could probably identify with and somethings they'd never understand. Even I wonder sometimes. As a child-turned-adult, here are 34 peculiar questions I still wonder about. Try answering each question. Let me know how many reasons you could come up with. I couldn't find an answer for #7 and #11 though. Lol!
34 Questions Every Nigerian Ex-Primary School Student Should Ask
1. Why did we wrap our exercise books with sheets of calendars?
2. Why did school-bought food have so much dodo? And beans! Blink.
3. Who loved the smell of those moderately translucent neon colored erasers? Who chewed them (side eye)?
4. Who chewed chalk (covering face)?
5. Who in the world stayed back in those gross toilets to write "Segun loves Dolapo"? Eww
6. Why did everyone smell of old house on cultural dance day?
7. Why did my primary 2 seat partner try to erase with an eraser and saliva and end up tearing his notebook four pages deep?
8. Why was SOP so important?
9. Why did someone steal my pink recorder?
10. Why couldn’t anyone decide on whether to call it a recorder or a flute?
11. Why did my seat partner spit into his recorder so that the spit drooled down the flute opening?
12. Why did he and his friends find it amusing?
13. Why did we make sweater babies? Lay sweater flat. Fold both arms across the chest. Roll from the neck, tuck formed tube into the open hem. Where did this knowledge come from?
14. Who taught me to make paper planes, boats, jets, fans?
15. Why was transitioning from pencils to pens such a big deal?
16. Buttermint. Tom Tom. Malta sweet. Dandy. Robot. Eclairs. Goody Goody. Sweet alagbon. Biscuit alata. Marie. Shortcake. Round okin. Eleganza. Bic. Yellow pencil. Yellow wooden ruler. Onward. 2A notebook. 2B pencil. Why do I miss these?
17. Why did the school bell bring me joy?! Were we psychologically conditioned by school bells?
18. Why was using the word "Love" such a big deal?
19. Why was forgetting my locker keys at home such a disaster?
Why did I sit on see-saws with strangers and have fun doing it?
20. Why did our writing notes have multi colored lines?
21. Why did one teacher teach all the subjects?
22. Did we really have to swing our arms to marching songs?
23. Why did I always play the Angel during Christmas plays? Ok, not always.
24. Those rulers with pictures that changed with direction to light! Why did that excite me so?
25. Round pencil sharpeners with mirrors on the back. Who was the genius inventor of this?
26. Name, Animal, Place, Thing. Why was alphabet "X" saved for last?
27. Why were some play songs banned from the playground?
28. Was primary school the time I got all these bruises on my legs?
29. Why was home time so beautiful?
30. Why did mum bring me a snack when she picked me from school?
31. Why was school excursion day so cool?
32. Why was being a brownie even cooler?
33. Stand up. Close your eyes. Raise up your hands. Why did I listen when my seat mate told me to put my raised hands down. The teacher had stepped out, he said.
34. Where is my seat mate these days?
What was your favorite primary school memory? Which one of your answers to the questions amused you the most?
PGI's May Girl- Banke (Businesswoman, Easy Peasy)
Banke and I have talked about many things from flowers, to jobs, to school, to business to marriage, to husbands who like to cook, and to food-processor-made pounded yam. We talk about hair and the care of it. She taught me to have a pair of scissors for my hair; a girl can't use the same pair of scissors to cut up Christmas craft and then trim her hair an hour later, with the same pair. My hair deserved its own pair of scissors, she said. It did? (Don't judge me lol!)...
Banke and I have talked about many things from flowers, to jobs, to school, to business to marriage, to husbands who like to cook, and to food-processor-made pounded yam. We talk about hair and the care of it. She taught me to have a pair of scissors for my hair; a girl can't use the same pair of scissors to cut up Christmas craft and then trim her hair an hour later, with the same pair. My hair deserved its own pair of scissors, she said. It did? (Don't judge me lol!) She always had these really useful tips on her Instagram page and I knew she knew hair. Of course, she had to do something with this passion and skill she had, so we talked some more about dreams and possibilities. Then one day Banke stopped the talking and did something. On this day, I was scrolling through Instagram and on Banke's page was displayed a jar that read "Butter by Banke". She had done it! Just like that! She had launched a hair-care product line- a brand, she was suddenly an entrepreneur! The day that jar popped up on my timeline, I was so excited. She did it! She birthed a dream just like that. Without drama, or drumroll or cymbals. Her story is so simple and inspiring, she'll make you want to start that thing you think is a big deal in a snap!
Here she is, making business look too easy since 2016...
What's your full name?
Oluwabamike Olaoluwakitan Adewale (nee Ogundairo)
Cutest nickname(s)
Bankymoon; Kilolo, short for Bankilolo
Least cute nickname
Ban-ku-seh
My fave quirk about me...
So not sure this is a quirk or normal but most mornings for breakfast I have bagel slathered with crunchy peanut butter and then a dollop of jam to add some sweetness ... a salad for lunch for "a neutralizing effect". I'm too sure I'm not the only one that does this
How long have you had your natural hair?
About 4 years
I'm thinking about leaving the "naturalista" life soon. What parting words do you have for me?
Don’t go!!!!
Do you ever think about leaving too?
Nope!
Do you feel the pressure to stay natural?
Not at all! I love my hair and it’s actually the reason I started Butter by Banke.
I love that name, Butter by Banke. It has this softness to it. I feel like I'm a getting a massage. Lol! How long did it take you to come up with that name?
Not very long. I thought it was cheesy at first but ran it by a few people who liked it, so it stuck. We have one product line for now, expansion is definitely in the works. It's called Shea Deliciousness, it's an organic hair and body butter and it’s for men too!
I assume Shea Deliciousness is the secret to your beautiful hair? What's your hair night time routine?
Yes and it's so easy to use, I wet my hair first, add the butter and style. I also use it to steam my hair after every wash. Night time routine: If I have my hair done (crochet braids or box braids) I simply wear a static net satin night cap. When I rock my hair in a puff, I scarf it down to have the front flat. In the morning, I apply Butter by Banke, re-scarf for a bit and I’m good to go! I get compliments all the time.
How did it all start?
While planning my wedding, I wanted to give out wedding favours and found an idea on Pinterest- lip balms! I also wanted to make and hand out jars of body butter, so I ordered the containers. I made the lip balms but I never got around to making the body butter in all the frenzy. After the wedding, I made it and gave out jars of the butter to friends and family. Then it happened. They would call me up and say, "Banke, I've run out of butter. Make more!" I had the jars so I kept making more. I had most of the ingredients and the jars too, so I kept at it and my husband, Yinka convinced me to start selling. Voila!
What challenges did you face starting this business?
My main concern was whether people would be interested in my product in such a saturated market. I started to overthink everything. My husband was there. He encouraged me and affirmed the validity of the idea. He encouraged me to focus on using and investing what I had already (jars, knowledge and skill).
What would you say to someone facing the same challenge in their business?
If someone were to ask, I'd say what he told me "Only invest what you can bear to lose. Don’t focus on the profit, focus on the value you’re giving to people."
What principles guide your business?
I have a three-point set of principles:
Simple. Natural. Effective
Simple: Our product is simple to use. Using Shea Deliciousness eliminates having to mix 9 products yourself. Simplicity is genius.
Natural: Only natural ingredients are used, which is undoubtedly helpful to hair and skin
Effective: It works. I’ve seen it work for me and others and we believe in the product.
Does your husband secretly use Shea Deliciousness?
He uses it unashamedly! He even complains when I finish it! *laughs* He makes me make more!
What would you say to anyone who is reading this and is full of self-doubt about their brand?
First, you have to believe in your brand. Believe in it, people will see the passion and believe in it too. Start small and invest resources you don't mind losing. If it doesn't work, you know you tried and there was some collateral lost, but not too much. Don’t let fear keep you down. Try.
The first day you filled your first jar of Butter by Banke, how did you feel?
Excited! When I put the stickers on the jar is best feeling!
How do you strike a balance between your day job with running Butter by Banke?
I am a Communications and Marketing strategist in a financial institution by day.
I run Butter by Banke on the weekends and evenings.
Morning person/Night person?
Morning person. My mum is a morning person and raised us that way.
What's the best thing about having 9 older sisters?
The support system. It’s a good conversation starter. It stops everyone in their tracks.
How many hours can you wear heels for before your first "oowww"?
First, 4 inch heels are best I can do. I can stand in them for about 2 to 4 hours. I don't try to take the heels off in between and wear again, it makes the pain worse. I just sit down often and have flats ready in the bag.
Who is your hugest style influence?
Hair: Pinterest
Clothes: I don't have one fashion style because I had a lot of hand me downs.
Though I'd say Sister number 7 ("Tomato") has some influence on me. We all go to her for style advice.
The one meal you know you kill every time?
Pancakes (I don’t like to cook!)
One item you beg people to buy for you from Nigeria?
Groundnut!
One place I have visit when I go to Nigeria
Terra Kulture. I love Nigerian theatre. The play I’m really looking forward to is the Secret life of Baba Segi’s wives. I loved the book.
Last 3 items bought
Okra
Sofa covers.
Stickers with the Butter by Banke logo
Thank you, Banke for being our May PGI girl!
4 Things I learnt...
1. Stop talking about it and do it!
2. Focus on the value you provide, not on profit
3. You have the jars. Don't stop pouring in and creating.
4. She loves pancakes, I love pancakes. I guess that about seals this friendship
Thank you so much, Banke, for being PGI's May girl! I can't wait to see the wonderful things Butter by Banke rolls out soon. Love you loads!!
Get your Shea Delicious hair and body butter. I can feel it on my fingertips already.
Contact: Instagram @butterbybanke
PGI x ÀSÀ WEST | PGI Girls' Give-Away
Remember July's PGI girl, the stylish, awesome Mope ? She recently launched an accessory line called ÀSÀ West! Congratulations, Mope!
ÀSÀ West currently carries a wide range of hand-bags, envelope purses and other accessories. Yes, when I discovered this, I admit, I did hyper-ventilate a little, because I love handbags, and now my friend has a line! If you're looking for me, I'll be at her house, swimming in her inventory.
Just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore, she decided to partner with PGI to give back to her community through a give-away!
PagesbyIke is proud to be partnering with ÀSÀ West on this exciting project! We will be giving out the beautiful "WANDE" print purse from her line, which I am totally in love with. Men, if she didn't like your Valentine's day present, it's redemption time. Put in an entry for "WANDE" and thank us later.
I love "WANDE", I think she knows.
But first, one question. Two, actually. Three.
Why can't bloggers enter for their own give-aways? Who made these rules? You're maybe wondering if I plan to enter the PGI x ÀSÀ West Give-Away along with everyone else? It has crossed my mind. *slow nod and wink*
I really do have the perfect heels to pair "WANDE" with, but I won't enter, I promise. Lol.
We can't wait to find out who the winner is. The entry closes next week friday, so throw in those entries now!
Ps. Watch out for more giveaways this season from our past PGI girls! Don't forget to read the terms and conditions.
Best wishes.
(Congratulations to our winner! She has been contacted! Edited March 9th)
She Blogs | Super Shero Grace (G)
SuperShero Grace (G)
Location: Lagos
Blog url: Epiphany29.com
Blog Genre: Fashion and Lifestyle
Grace's blog has a girl-next-door meets chic style vibe to it. She makes looking great look effortless and she makes blogging look so easy! Swing by for some chill time and some great style tips; I just learned a few new tricks on how to wear my shorts, when this snow finally melts. Also, find out how to celebrate Valentine's day as a single girl! Grace is also a personal shopper and an aspiring fashion designer. Here she is:
1. First four words of the lyrics of your current favorite song?
GG: "One month till February..." from "Falling Short" by Lapslèy
2. One experience you plan to tell your grand-kids?
GG: How I fought and survived cancer at the age of 5, not by my might but by Gods Grace...
3. Least traumatic break-up technique you'd recommend?
GG: Change phone numbers et al? Hahahaha.
4. What inspired your blog name?
GG: I had been thinking and struggling with a suitable name and Epiphany29 came to me like an 'Epiphany' get it? Lol
5. If we were all forced to be teachers on the universe. What art/skill/science/discipline would you teach?
GG: Hmmmm, since we would all be teachers, why would I have to teach other teachers, eh? I kid. I think i'd teach IT related stuff.
6. Last movie that made you cry! (You can't say Titanic)
GG: I could be a cry baby though but let's see... last movie that made me cry... would be "You Before Me" *sniff sniff*
7. "Carbs" is a) Bae b) The Enemy
GG: "Carbs" is BAE whoop whoop
8. John Snow or Jack Bauer?
GG: You know nothing Jack Bauer... John snow anyday for me.
9. If I promise to be your right-hand girl, name a celebrity's shoe closet you would raid?
GG: Girl, we are so raiding Klohé Kardashian's closet!!!
10. #bighairdontcare or #shorthairdontcare
GG: Team #Bighairdontcare yo!
11. You are having lunch with your fave T.V fictional character. What would you order?
GG: I'd order goatmeat peppersoup (straight face) and ice-cream cake for dessert.
12. "Our _______ makes us beautiful as Nigerians."
GG: Our culture makes us beautiful
13. Avengers, the movie. You have to date someone. Who would it be?
GG: Chris Hemsworth. *swoons*
14. If I had to, I'd totally name my car...
GG: Jesse
Thank you for hanging with us, Grace! You are the best! And that testimony fighting cancer as a child...we are grateful for the grace!
Read Grace's How to celebrate valentine's day as a single girl.
She Blogs | Super Shero Tega
SuperShero Tega
Location: Dubai
Blog url: Tegaenai.com
Blog Genre: Fashion and Lifestyle
Tega's blog makes me happy. Just simply that- happy. It's helpful. It's fresh. She genuinely writes from her heart and you can tell from reading her posts- whether she's teaching how to wear loose-fitting clothes or how to edit your instagram photos like a pro or just kicking you out of a discouragement rut, this blogger slays. (Are we still using slay in 2017? Please help)
Remember, this is a laid back, hair down, lazing in PJs kinda interview! Here she is!
A Nigerian song you’d love to karaoke to?
TE: I have a couple!
Tekno – Wash; 2face – Ole, African Queen; 9ice – Gongo Aso, Street Credibility; MI – Safe
I'm old-school. That's quality music there!
PGI: Love Gongo Aso! And Street Cred! I sang Street Cred in the shower just last week.
Your 15-year old niece is going out on a date for the first time. You can only say one word to her, what would it be?
TE: No Kissing!
PGI: Hahaha! Aunty Tega, that's two words!
What movie makes you cry all the time?
TE: The Fault in Our Stars – My favourite movie of all time. Even the book makes me cry.
Imagine your best friend is a guy. He's getting married, he puts you in charge of his Bachelor's Eve planning. What type of party would you organize?
T.E: No strippers! We have to protect his wife's Interest, so let's give no room for temptation. But it’s definitely going to be a crazy party.
PGI: Shouldn't we have more women on Bach Eve Planning committees? Someone looking out for our interests *pensive*
“Can not blog without..."
T.E: The Internet..
The most embarrassing nickname you've ever had
None really, I’ve been lucky. I had really cute nicknames like "Sweet" because I was the sweetest baby ever, "Smilie" because I smiled all the time. Most of my friends call me "Mama", which I love also, because it gives me a sense of responsibility. I love to play mother hen, so the name suits me perfectly.
If you were a guy, what would be your signature pick-up line?
"You’re a real gift, you’d give my life a lift" I don’t know if this should be considered a pick up line but it sounds pretty good to me.
This line is from the MTN Sunshine advert, I loved it back then, still do. It stuck ever since and gives me goosebumps all the time (I actually just watched it on YouTube again for the billionth time). For a long time I hope to have a man as romantic as Jerry in my life. *laughs*
PGI: I remember that ad! "Oh Jerry...tantantatatararan MTN everywhere you go!"
Nails are currently colored…….?
T.E : No color. I admire cute long Manicures on other girls but my nails are too soft, after a week it starts to get green. Taking the nails off is too painful, and I always end up hurting myself. If I decide to polish them directly, they start turning green in 2 days and start peeling off. The struggle is real! So, I have my nails bare most of the time except on special occasions like my birthday. That’s the only time I actually got my nails fixed in 2016!
Truth or Dare?
TE: It depends. If I'm playing with crazy people, I respect myself and choose "Truth". Otherwise, "Dare"- and I make the rules before we start!
The most awesome thing about being Nigerian?
TE: Nigerians are loved. We’ve set a global standard for ourselves through our work and talent. When I tell people I am Nigerian, some people ask, "Do you know this comedian? – ooo I love him/her so much", or "I love this Nigerian music", or "I have a Nigerian friend that’s so nice to me". Then I smile and have that ‘I am proud to be Nigerian moment'.
PGI: Thanks for making us proud Nigerians with your work, Tega!
Stop by Tega's blog today and binge-read! Have a great weekend!
Super Sheroes | The Ones We've Been Waiting For
When my nephew, Dabi visited last summer, I asked him for a blog post idea or theme, which I could develop and write on. Any topic, I said. Just say the word. I'd be all over it like a rash- a pretty rash. If right now you are thinking, "She doesn't know what she's getting herself into"... You aren't too far from what's coming.
Dabi looked up from his bowl of chocolate cereal, fixed his eyes on me and said, "Ummm, write about....... superheroes," then he lifted a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, crunching away at those choc puffs, head swinging from side to side to some imaginary music. I stared blankly at him. Seriously? I thought. Next to his cereal bowl was a copy of a DC batman comic: "Batman and Robin Take on Ice Man"... or something like that.
How convenient, Dabi.
"Ahem", I said,"Any other suggestions?"
"Nope!" He said. Crunch. Crunch.
Superheroes.
Superheroes.
I couldn't even believe this boy.
I plopped on my sofa and sought solace in my favorite run-away-from-your-challenges-lala-land- Instagram.
Superheroes.
Then it hit me- not all at once, but it short spurts of sudden realizations- I actually knew a few superheroes myself! As I went through my Instagram page, there they were. With every thumb-swipe, they just kept showing up. I myself knew many superheroes and to make it even more special they were She's! It was like suddenly discovering that you had Wonder Woman, Natasha Romanova, Rogue, Storm, Jean Grey, Sue Storm-Richards, Jessica Jones, Kitty Pryde, all on your phone, on your instagram wall! Your timeline, swimming with all the amazing things they do daily.
I had superheroes on my phone! *Scream!* *Happy scream*
Last summer, I got the blessed opportunity of stepping off the 700mph bloggers' train through out the month of September and really got to watch people do their thing. If you have a favorite blogger, you should give him/her a cyber-bear hug. Like right now. They break their backs, write, edit, stand-sit-hang during long photo shoots, they tweet, IG, pin....everything— just to maintain that continuity we all admire.
These women, these fabulous girls, all kyrptonite-free, doing amazing things.
To honor these women who blog, PGI will be starting the Super Sheroes series on Friday, the 3rd of February. The series will consist of quick, fun interviews with these women (it'll be like hanging out with your favorite blogger, hair down, in PJs with no chill, of course).
Some of them you know, some, new. Can not wait! I hope you enjoy this as much I intend to.
So Dabi, I accept your challenge! I am about to write about some of the SuperSheroes of my time...
And so it begins...
Why People May Begin To Avoid Bloggers Like They Do Their Weird Uncle Fred
Conversation between my friend and I
Friend: So...I like this girl (sends me photo of girl)
Me: Really?!!! Cool. I know her! She's a blogger too.
Me: Slide into her dm, quickly!
Friend: Right, so she can take a screen-shot of my "sliding in" and blog about it.
Me: *laughing hysterically* How can you even say that? We have some filter! We don't blog about everything!
Friend: Yes, you do. You guys blog about everything!
Me: *pensive* You are right. We do. A little. I'm so blogging about this conversation.
Friend: *laughs* You see...
I know *covering my face*. I didn't want to blog about it, because I'd be validating his very specious, yet very true opinion about bloggers. Still, our conversation relayed to me an important message: People may actually start to avoid bloggers because we keep open diaries accessible by the World Wide Web.
This conversation had me pondering (and stuff happens when I ponder, just letting you know). So the questions began to come; are people more careful around me now because I'm a blogger? Am I suddenly this predatory creature who stalks innocent by-standers and friends for blog posts? Would I eventually be avoided by my friends at events and end up sitting next to their weird Uncle Fred at the reserved people-I-really-want-to-avoid guest table? Should I write about everything I see, hear, feel, taste? Is everything I experience "bloggable"? Where do I draw the line with my blog material and even on social media shareables in general?
Social media was created as a platform to share our opinions and experiences, while simultaneously benefiting from the opinions and experiences of others. Fact: it's completely up to us what we choose to share. However, I just discovered this new thing I call the Social Media Sharing Discernment Filter (SMSDF) or simply, The Discernment Filter (DF), which basically is an awareness of knowing our motives for sharing and having a clear understanding of what to share and what to keep.
You know those times when you are ready to post something, but you take another look at it and delete; or those times when you just want to hide under the covers with a photo or experience you recorded and you just stare and grin at it, and of course, you know the others that you just have to share with the world because you know it'll help or make someone smile. That's you exercising DF, right there, so it's not particularly novel.
It boils down to this: why do we share experiences and publish anyway? What's the motive? Whatever it is, whether it's to share our privileges and experiences with the world, or to encourage others or make them smile or to make sport of a guy in love. It's important that our motives are in line with our values and we are sensitive to the feelings of other people, as well as sensitive to the apparent beauty of privacy(post for another day).
Right, so more questions: Should we publish everything we consider shareable? Probably not, but that's completely up to the user. Should my blogger-friend make a screen-shot of her slide-in? Maybe. Maybe not. Some slide-ins though. Epic. LOL! I should share, but I'm exercising D.F. Hehe. Should my friend slide in, regardless? Yes! Don't let social media screen-shots and memes frighten you into not taking a chance. Take that chance!
If all goes well, and my friend slides in and D.F is employed, I just might be attending a wedding soon. If screen-shots are taken, however and D.F takes the backseat, well, that would be one more blogger ushering us to sit next to weird Uncle Fred at the people-we-really-want-to-avoid guest table. It's a cold, cold, dark place.
What are your thoughts? I'd really love to know. Are there times you keep some memories to and for yourself? Are you an avid sharer and think a filter is unecessary?
P.s: Special Thanks to my friend who permitted me to use our conversation in this post!