Super Sheroes | The Ones We've Been Waiting For
When my nephew, Dabi visited last summer, I asked him for a blog post idea or theme, which I could develop and write on. Any topic, I said. Just say the word. I'd be all over it like a rash- a pretty rash. If right now you are thinking, "She doesn't know what she's getting herself into"... You aren't too far from what's coming.
Dabi looked up from his bowl of chocolate cereal, fixed his eyes on me and said, "Ummm, write about....... superheroes," then he lifted a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, crunching away at those choc puffs, head swinging from side to side to some imaginary music. I stared blankly at him. Seriously? I thought. Next to his cereal bowl was a copy of a DC batman comic: "Batman and Robin Take on Ice Man"... or something like that.
How convenient, Dabi.
"Ahem", I said,"Any other suggestions?"
"Nope!" He said. Crunch. Crunch.
Superheroes.
Superheroes.
I couldn't even believe this boy.
I plopped on my sofa and sought solace in my favorite run-away-from-your-challenges-lala-land- Instagram.
Superheroes.
Then it hit me- not all at once, but it short spurts of sudden realizations- I actually knew a few superheroes myself! As I went through my Instagram page, there they were. With every thumb-swipe, they just kept showing up. I myself knew many superheroes and to make it even more special they were She's! It was like suddenly discovering that you had Wonder Woman, Natasha Romanova, Rogue, Storm, Jean Grey, Sue Storm-Richards, Jessica Jones, Kitty Pryde, all on your phone, on your instagram wall! Your timeline, swimming with all the amazing things they do daily.
I had superheroes on my phone! *Scream!* *Happy scream*
Last summer, I got the blessed opportunity of stepping off the 700mph bloggers' train through out the month of September and really got to watch people do their thing. If you have a favorite blogger, you should give him/her a cyber-bear hug. Like right now. They break their backs, write, edit, stand-sit-hang during long photo shoots, they tweet, IG, pin....everything— just to maintain that continuity we all admire.
These women, these fabulous girls, all kyrptonite-free, doing amazing things.
To honor these women who blog, PGI will be starting the Super Sheroes series on Friday, the 3rd of February. The series will consist of quick, fun interviews with these women (it'll be like hanging out with your favorite blogger, hair down, in PJs with no chill, of course).
Some of them you know, some, new. Can not wait! I hope you enjoy this as much I intend to.
So Dabi, I accept your challenge! I am about to write about some of the SuperSheroes of my time...
And so it begins...
Why People May Begin To Avoid Bloggers Like They Do Their Weird Uncle Fred
Conversation between my friend and I
Friend: So...I like this girl (sends me photo of girl)
Me: Really?!!! Cool. I know her! She's a blogger too.
Me: Slide into her dm, quickly!
Friend: Right, so she can take a screen-shot of my "sliding in" and blog about it.
Me: *laughing hysterically* How can you even say that? We have some filter! We don't blog about everything!
Friend: Yes, you do. You guys blog about everything!
Me: *pensive* You are right. We do. A little. I'm so blogging about this conversation.
Friend: *laughs* You see...
I know *covering my face*. I didn't want to blog about it, because I'd be validating his very specious, yet very true opinion about bloggers. Still, our conversation relayed to me an important message: People may actually start to avoid bloggers because we keep open diaries accessible by the World Wide Web.
This conversation had me pondering (and stuff happens when I ponder, just letting you know). So the questions began to come; are people more careful around me now because I'm a blogger? Am I suddenly this predatory creature who stalks innocent by-standers and friends for blog posts? Would I eventually be avoided by my friends at events and end up sitting next to their weird Uncle Fred at the reserved people-I-really-want-to-avoid guest table? Should I write about everything I see, hear, feel, taste? Is everything I experience "bloggable"? Where do I draw the line with my blog material and even on social media shareables in general?
Social media was created as a platform to share our opinions and experiences, while simultaneously benefiting from the opinions and experiences of others. Fact: it's completely up to us what we choose to share. However, I just discovered this new thing I call the Social Media Sharing Discernment Filter (SMSDF) or simply, The Discernment Filter (DF), which basically is an awareness of knowing our motives for sharing and having a clear understanding of what to share and what to keep.
You know those times when you are ready to post something, but you take another look at it and delete; or those times when you just want to hide under the covers with a photo or experience you recorded and you just stare and grin at it, and of course, you know the others that you just have to share with the world because you know it'll help or make someone smile. That's you exercising DF, right there, so it's not particularly novel.
It boils down to this: why do we share experiences and publish anyway? What's the motive? Whatever it is, whether it's to share our privileges and experiences with the world, or to encourage others or make them smile or to make sport of a guy in love. It's important that our motives are in line with our values and we are sensitive to the feelings of other people, as well as sensitive to the apparent beauty of privacy(post for another day).
Right, so more questions: Should we publish everything we consider shareable? Probably not, but that's completely up to the user. Should my blogger-friend make a screen-shot of her slide-in? Maybe. Maybe not. Some slide-ins though. Epic. LOL! I should share, but I'm exercising D.F. Hehe. Should my friend slide in, regardless? Yes! Don't let social media screen-shots and memes frighten you into not taking a chance. Take that chance!
If all goes well, and my friend slides in and D.F is employed, I just might be attending a wedding soon. If screen-shots are taken, however and D.F takes the backseat, well, that would be one more blogger ushering us to sit next to weird Uncle Fred at the people-we-really-want-to-avoid guest table. It's a cold, cold, dark place.
What are your thoughts? I'd really love to know. Are there times you keep some memories to and for yourself? Are you an avid sharer and think a filter is unecessary?
P.s: Special Thanks to my friend who permitted me to use our conversation in this post!
Coffee with David | The PGI Reader who Cracks Me Up
One chilly fall day, I had the opportunity to go on a journey into the life of one of my favorite readers on PGI- David Bragdon. You may have seen his comments here on PGI (he's remarkably witty) or seen those superb photos shot from his lenses on my IG wall. We had coffee, (I had tea) and we talked. I've always wanted to speak with him about life, he has the coolest stories and I figured there were somethings I could learn from him. I was right! Here are a few things we talked about; random things and some things I learned and would love to share:
On beard gang...
DB: I once grew a beard. While I was in college (MIT), a few of my friends and I traveled to a cattle ranch in Wyoming. We had taken summer jobs at the ranch processing hay. My friend was inspired after reading the book Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Tolstoy was a wealthy writer and he had chosen to work with the peasants producing hay. So we decided to go and have a "Tolstoy-experience". It turned out to be a pretty rough experience and I grew a beard during the time. The beard was for protection against the millions of blood-thirsty Wyoming mosquitos. When I got back home, my mother wouldn't let back me into the house.
PGI: "Lol! Clearly both our mums don't get beards."
On work...
DB: It's important to learn to receive feedback. Don’t be defensive. You need both positive and negative feedback to be able to improve your performance. Show that you value feedback and use it. If you own your business, be aware of the market trends.
PGI: "Hmmm...how do I handle feedback? I'm a little defensive. Then I calm myself and see what's being said. Being defensive does waste time though. I have come to actually love feedback over time."
On healthy choices...
Read the book of Daniel! I'm kidding! Eat right. Exercise. Live well. My wife and I are currently on a wheat-free diet.
PGI: "Ed and I might try this wheat-free diet for a week. That's how far I can go because... banana bread. We are exercising more though! It's so amazing. I'm so energized and I go around punching walls and doing push ups!"
Guys, on getting the girl...
DB: It’s not a hunt! Be attractive and accept what you attract. Exercise; but don’t build muscles to get attention from girls *laughs*
If you have her laughing. She's probably interested.
PGI: "Truth! Be attractive! Accept what you attract. You can't ask out a good-looking person without some effort on your part as well."
Girls, on dating guys...
Make sure to observe early on, that your dating candidate(s) really listens to you and ask interesting questions. Make sure he makes you laugh.
PGI: Ask questions! Print questionnaire here!
On having a hobby...
Photography for me is not a hobby. It’s more than that. It has taught me life lessons, helped me discover new experiences, brought me friendships. It's important to have some dimension to your life. Never stop developing yourself.
PGI: "Spoken like a true artist. My eyes droop when people refer to blogging as a hobby. It's no hobby. In fact, the leisure part of it ended on day two of blogging for me! Lol! It's like a full-time position, I tell you. I love David's statement, "Have some dimension to your life." Have some balance. Have some dimension, an equilateral dimension."
Fave actress
Judith Dench
PGI: "She played M in the James Bond movies! Love her!"
On Beyonce and Rihanna...
Beyonce? Was she the one who sang at Obama’s inauguration? And Rhianna, who is she?
PGI: "Hehehe!"
About his Regina (his wife)...
DB: She completes me because she's a straight-shooter, a practical problem solver and is very perceptive. She sees things and understands the significance of what she sees.
PGI: She really is awesome. She sent us dinner once. It reminded me of being at home in Ibadan!
On being a dad...
DB: Be on the same page with your spouse; learn to change the baby's diapers; hold your kids; get down on the floor and talk to them; let them stare at your face. Take your glasses off, put your phone down; get interested in what they are doing, school work, preoccupations, hobbies; answer their questions.
PGI: *taking notes*
On travel...
DB: Most fascinating places ever visited; Wyoming. The scenery is beautiful. The ranch was close to Yellowstone National Park and there was a really impressive mountain range we could see from the cattle ranch. We also worked from sunup to sundown, so I got to see a lot of the scenery.
Singapore, as well. Singapore was fascinating. The food was really good.
On Photography...
DB: I got into photography in high school. The School had it in its budget to get a camera and they needed a man for the job to take photos. We used flashbulbs back then. You needed about 12 flashbulbs for a full session. They were quite dangerous too, because flashbulbs could explode.
PGI: "Bloggers would have had a tough time back then. I sure would. I'm unserious for the first 10 mins of a shoot."
On building generational friendships and long-term friendships
DB: I had some experience teaching different age groups (4th and 5th grade) and I have kept in touch with them over time. I also taught high school mathematics. I've attended a few weddings, and other events of theirs. I'd say develop a genuine interest in people and keep in touch over the course of their lives. Touch base often. Develop generational friendships.
PGI: "This is goals for me; Keeping in touch. . . One day at a time. Develop generational friendships."
4 Things I Learned
1. Have some dimension to your life.
2. Be genuinely interested in people; reach out to them; put in the effort to sustain the connection.
3. A hobby is more than just a hobby. It should have other functions other than expression and skill. It should build lasting friendships and make others smile!
4. If you don't like what you attract, do something about it on your end.
Thank you, David for this great interview! And thank you for always making us laugh. Photos above, from when David gifted me a 3-hour photoshoot because I wanted to put my wedding dress up for sale and couldn't decide what to do with my wedding dress. I did struggle, David, but my dress is finally up for sale on the brides power website!
The Retirement of A Melodramatic Feminist
Once upon a time, I was a feminist. I wasn't born a feminist though. Long story; a guy broke my heart, danced on it, put it in a blender and poured it down the drain. Suddenly, I hated men. I hated them all (which makes very little sense, as it was just one man with whom I had an issue, and who I was fairly certain was evil personified). Still, they were all the enemy- these men. "They are all the same!" That was my chorus and "I will survive" was my anthem. They thought I'd crumble, they thought I'd lay down and die, O no not I!
Suddenly, I was very determined to make "my own money" and be financially independent; intentionally financially unattached to any man...except my dad, of course. Love you, dad! [That ended at some point though. Lol]
I was a different type of feminist- the hypocritical kind, whose adherence to feminism was developed from my bitterness and innate desire for revenge, and to be above men in every endeavor- an insincere kind of feminism.
All of a sudden, I wanted rights for women. I was now concerned if women in country A had access to education and freedom. I cared if country B prevented women from buying property. I cared if a woman was being abused down the street. If my friend complained about her boyfriend..."Break up with him." I'd say, not batting an eyelid.
It was really interesting watching my hurt morph into this weird caricature of feminism. True, I never burnt my bra or went days with shaving my underarms or shredded my wig, still, it was fun joining the band wagon.
If I could travel back in time and see myself back then, I'd tell myself that feminism isn't a game. It isn't a tool to whack men over the head or a balm to ease my pulverized heart but a platform for the avocation of dignity, respect and freedom for all women.
If I could see the old me, I'd tell her that men aren't the enemy, they never were; that the enemy is ignorance. Ignorance in every sense of the word; ignorance of men who pulverize hearts for fun, my ignorance for not being streetwise, my ignorance of not having important information about this heart breaker person before diving in, as for the society, their ignorance of the benefits of celebrating and supporting women.
Years ago, I put an end to being vindictive and my resentment towards men evaporated, with that came a new understanding.
My discomfort was negligible in comparison to little girls prevented from going to school, women who are abused just down the street, and single mums who are discriminated against. Yes, my feelings were justified but not the most appropriate fuel for the vehicle of fighting injustice.
And so in my retirement, I decided to revise this whole feminist thing. I decided that I don't need a title to solve injustice. All I'd ever need is a heart which isn't self-centered. A heart that does not muddle up compassion with hate and revenge. A heart that is truly compassionate and pure. A heart that longs to serve- with that I will solve injustice one woman at a time.
Have you ever been in this pseudo-feminism bubble? What are your thoughts? Ever wondered how to get information about someone you are dating? Download your PGI inquisition form here!
Airbnb with the Devil
As a child, my dad would tell me very matter-of-factly, that if the sun went down on my anger, I would give devil a chance to come and hang out with me. Lol! Scared me out of the planet and back. Pop was right. Recently, I let the devil Airbnb with me. I got upset with someone, and it became a deep hurt, that soon got out of control.
A few suns did set on my anger unfortunately, and then the devil stepped in; dragged his Prada luggage into my space and kicked off his shoes. He talked my ear off about how I was right to be angry and actually quite justified at such underserved insolence! Even God understood my anger, he would say. He warned me about letting people in, people were just wicked opportunists. They were all the same -all this he tut-tutted, while he's making himself a sandwich in my kitchen and sipping some tea, wearing my house robe and totally feeling at home.
In case you didn't know, Satan doesn't travel alone. Just saying. He has baggage (we all know that), he also has an entourage. Stop and think about that. Think of the scariest movie you've ever seen, the creepiest movie... The Conjuring, The Exorcist, Ouija...yup. He travels with spirits like that. Not cool. Not cool.
Kicked them out one day, the whole lot of them- I had had enough. I remembered this post and it soothed my heart. Plus I recalled the scripture that says human anger doesn't achieve God's perfect plan for our lives, that sealed it. I would give mercy and forgiveness, even when it seemed undeserved.
Be upset, be angry but don't let the sun set on your anger. Please, I beg you. You'll give that weird guy and his goons a foothold. He'll bring chaos. He'll mess with your mind. He doesn't do dishes, plus he'll use your towel and leave it on the floor. Don't say I didn't tell you.
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil// Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
2016 in Two Words: Plot Twist
If I could summarize 2016 in two words, it’ll be — Plot twist. I think I was done with it by May. The twists kept coming and I kept winging it like a pro. You can only wing it for so long, for ~365 days. At some point, you're bound to get a sprain (which I did). All this, clearly could have been duly avoided if I had done the most important thing at the beginning of the year:
Asked God for a personal, specific word for the year.
It would have made it much easier. Instead, I looked for words as the twists came. They worked, as always, but it was tasking.
For sure, this can't be the case in the coming year. 2017 must be renowned as the year we heard, we followed and we triumphed!
If you don't have a word yet—and I don't mean the general word announced at church on NYE, I mean your own exclusive, intimate instruction and reassurance from our heavenly Papa, please sit with Him this last few days of the year and get it. It's important because when the plot twists come, then you can smack ‘em in the face with that irrefutable promise from your Father *smirk* Also when you have a specific word from God, you are able to mutter it beneath your breath or scream it out when things look the exact opposite of the promise; great way to look crazy, which I personally prefer.
2016 wasn't all twisty. It was full of so many blessed opportunities, travel, love, you (yes, you PGI reader), fun posts, new friends, old friends. One amazing thing I did this year though was teach my mum how to blog…on FaceTime! Lol! It was the funnest and funniest thing ever. It made me appreciate her so much. I couldn’t be impatient because I know how patient she was with me as a baby learning to walk, learning to eat, learning to pronounce! So with patience, I'd say, "No, mum. That's not your password." I guess now, we all know where I got my password-recall situation from.
I'm grateful for the twists. The brought me to a place of serenity and clarity; so much that I don't pray to avoid the twists but I pray to be focused on Christ and to hold on to whatever he has told me about 2017. Do you have your word yet?
For more highlights, amazing plans for 2017 and more news please watch out for our freshly designed newsletters! 2017 is going to be so exciting! If you haven't subscribed, whaaaaa? Do it! Do it!
7 Hilarious Fashion-Mishaps And How to Recover
Girls, you know it! There are number of fashion uber-duber-oops that none of us ever want to experience. Sometimes they occur but there's nothing some confidence and grace can't fix. Although, #7 would require a lot of grace! These are my top scariest fashion mishaps and recovery options. What are your biggest fashion-mishaps?
Oops #1 That my wig would fall on the road and be mistaken for a brief moment for a puppy.
I admire women who wear wigs fearlessly, who strut and flip its silky curls over their shoulders. I, on the other hand, am very careful. I don't trust wigs. Period. I definitely can't whip it back and forth (as I am required to do at Zumba class). Wearing a wig requires you to be poised and dignified always. You have to constantly remind yourself that you can't get into any brawls. Every insult to you MUST be countered by a humble "Shalom" and a wave of hand. No fights with wigs.
Also, a handy wind vane and anemometer must be in your purse. For no one knows where the wind bloweth.
Recover: Remove you wig cap swiftly and stare at the wig along with everyone else or pick your wig in one confident swoop, throw in a cat-walk, find a mirror and fix it!
Oops #2 That I'll trip in heels, fall and remain on the ground...forever
I love high heels. Who doesn't, right? The thing is, wearing heels requires patience and elegance. There's just no way around it, otherwise you stand the chance of looking like a day-old deer.
I fear that I'd be on my way up to give a presentation or talk one day and then I'd fall. This was the thought that guided my steps, as I received my graduation certificate. Easy does it.
Recover: Lie there forever or get up, laugh and keep strutting. The shorter the recovery time, the better.
Oops #3 That my false lashes may fall into my food and I may eat it.
I don't wear false lashes but if I did, I'd be worried.
Recover: Well, I'd stop chewing first. Find a mirror, fix it asap or remove the other lash and go au naturel.
Oops #4 That my red lipstick will get smeared all over my face.
This has happened already. My niece loves brightly colored things; in this case, my lips. When I carry her, surely, as a moth to a flame, her fingers find my lips and she gently spreads the colour all over my face. She still doesn't get the concept of localized color on a face. But I say this, better this than her yanking a wig off.
Recover: Find a mirror. A girl needs a mirror always. Wipe off smear, reapply lipstick.
Oops #5 That my distressed jeans will get caught in something and rip themselves into knee-length shorts.
For this reason, I wear evenly covered denim pants.
Recover: Add a pair of sunglasses, start a trend.
Oops #6 That I'll poke my eye with a needle.
My friend's mum separates her lashes with a needle when her mascara clumps them up. She carefully passes the needle between the strands and I must say it gets the best results -thick, evenly coated, separated lashes. This used to be part of my makeup routine...that is, until I poked my eye one day. Conclusion. Do not try this at home.
Recover: Set down needle. Make an appointment with your ophthalmologist. Reassess your need for perfect lashes. Try using several types of mascara wands per application. Watch YouTube videos.
Oops #7 Of course,my final fear is that if I wear a long, strapless evening dress with a long train, someone would step on the hem and it'll all fall down.
Then I'd trend for months and become a renowned GIF! Gasp!
Recover: Use renowned GIF status as a career-starter, get endorsements.
What is your biggest fashion fear? What are your recovery techniques?
Merry Christmas || What to Give the Birthday Boy
Ed had his gifts wrapped almost two weeks before Christmas. Of course, this wasn't easy for me, because I kept staring and touching the colorfully wrapped presents, trying to guess which one was mine. Starry-eyed, I'd stand there, shaking one of them and listening for the sound it makes. This has gone on for over a week. Yesterday—yet again—I was shaking one of the presents and I wondered... I wondered if Jesus was going to get any gifts this year. It is his birthday, after all. Like me, would he have gifts underneath his "tree"? Is he excited, trying to hear if the gift rattles or thumps as he shakes it?
This year, I want to get him something, but I don't know what. What do you give to someone who is God and created everything and who IS everything? I could give him my heart but he has it already. He has my love. My time...hmm. I definitely could give him more of that. What are you getting Jesus this Christmas?
Have a wonderful Christmas, full of love and cheer. Create memories, make someone else smile today and if you'd like to give Jesus your heart today, you can, right here! Have fun!