5 Things to Know When Your Unofficial Girlfriend Is Engaged to Another Guy (2)
In the last post, we tried to pacify the men out there who lost their unofficial girlfriends to a more 'vocal-about-us' type of man. I mean a kind of man who doesn’t wait for her to ask the “What are we?” question; the kind of man who just puts it out there on the table— the words, I mean, a man who in a couple of weeks/months, he puts out a ring on the table too. Then *poof* she’s gone.
You see her proposal on Instagram and since then Chris Brown’s “These **** ain’t loyal” has been on repeat.
Guys, you really have to make your intentions known, 21st century or not, otherwise, it will get conjugal all up in there, and guess who won’t be invited? You!
I’ll be honest, till you put a ring on it, girls these days consider themselves free agents (no thanks to Beyoncé and those two backup dancers, raising the bar for men and expectations for women to where it should be, thanks Bey).
Some men have reported feeling ‘used and dumped’ after this experience. Sigh. We hope you feel better after finding out about all the forces and laws at play, when that whole pseudo-dating thing was going on with you and her. Included also is a possible explanation to the mystery of how she translated so quickly into someone else’s Mrs.
These 5 laws at play are my opinion. If you have more theories, please share below in the comment section! Here we go.....
The Law of Eeny Meeny Miny Mo (aka the Law of Alternatives)
Men, don't you ever think you are the only contender. There’s a legion, for they are many. There are many guys after this girl. If she gave you some of her time and then you left her buffering, leaving her unsure about how you feel about her, wrong move, mate. In every decision making process, alternatives are considered. She got engaged two months after because she had alternatives who were CLEAR about their intentions! You gave her away to the Plan B guy. Tsk!
The Law of Assumption
Men, do not assume because you kissed, you suddenly are exclusive. Nope, means nothing on the long run without an explicit expression of your emotions and intentions. Be explicit, otherwise, you'll find yourself sitting in the back table of her wedding reception with some uninvited strangers stuffing their bags with food.
The Law of Inquiry(or the lack of it)
Girls, if you don't know what's going on. Ask. There's nothing unbecoming about being informed. These aren't the days of Jane Austen, when your mum probably had to ask what the man's plans were. Open your mouth and ask that question : "Are we officially in a relationship or not?". Remember to get an answer and not a stand-by suggestion.
And if he laughs at you for asking the "what are we?" question, you know what it is.
Best time to ask the question, is when he tries to kiss you for the first time. Put your palm in his face and ask what in the world he is doing. “Why are your lips here, bro? What are we?”
Hullup, hullup........
"What are we?"
The Law of the "Sharp guy"
Be advised that the world doesn't stop just because you can't make up your mind, men. No one has the time to waste, not the girl and not the sharp guy who snatched her from you. Ain't nobody got the time, at all. If you refuse to tell her how you feel, she will be engaged in two months.
Na wa o.
I know, right.
The Law of "Not Carrying last"
Girls, be sure that after leaving a guy who has said absolutely nothing about how he feels about you, you don't jump into a rebound relationship. Please be careful to end up with the right person. A marriage proposal doesn’t require you to give a positive response all the time. Take your time, shun society's pressures, familial pressures and Instagram wedding photo-pressures. Eyes off everyone, just do you.
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5 Things to Know When Your Unofficial Girlfriend is Engaged to Another Guy
Here's a fun story:
Boy meets girl. Girl falls deeply in love. Like deep, DEEP, like she fell, FELL (repetition for emphasis); so deep that she breaks every single bone in her body (If you said bone, BONE, you're a genius).
So anyway, girl falls hard and boy falls too. They are in this beautiful place where they can't get enough of each other. They are always chatting and tagging; laughing and teasing; hugging and kissing.
However, because it's 2015, boy doesn't quite make clear what his intentions are.
Let's all pause and think about a guy we know who does this as a habit.
[Got a name? Ok, insert the name every time you see 'he']
"It's 2015" he says, " No one makes being official a big deal. No one asks a girl out anymore. It's 2015!"
Now in boy's mind, he thinks he has a girlfriend or some derivative of a girlfriend. He thinks they have an unstated understanding of exclusivity.
Girl, on the other hand, is dying to ask the "What are we?" question but is pretty conflicted on the inside; she doesn't want to seem too desperate, she thinks she's a 2015 girl too, so she doesn't really need a statement of commitment; then there are those stupid memes that make girls who ask that question seem stupid. She really really wants to know, she needs to know but she still doesn't ask.
Their relationship begins to dwindle. Soon, they drift but still do not quite end it officially......because of course, what's there to end?
Here's the punch line:
Two months later, girl is engaged!
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone....🎧
I've heard this story, one too many times. I decided to write a post on it because I know the girl in this story is usually looked upon as a branch-swinging monkey, jumping from guy to guy, in a record amount of time, to achieve her new marital status. I am here to defend the girl....and the guy.
To all the disgruntled men who have been ditched by this girl, please understand that this situation was beyond your control. Psych! No it wasn't! You were very much in control of this situation. In fact, everything was hinged on your decision to publicly declare that you wanted to be in a relationship with her. How easy would that have been? Say,"Would be my girlfriend?" Seriously, say it out loud. See how easy that was? Better late than never, huh?
15A.D, 2015, 2030, 2078, the Jetson-age, doesn't matter, you have to make your intentions known! We all wish you said something to her but now she's married or engaged.
......It's not warm when she's away.......🎤
I know you are kicking yourself every night as you think about her and you're thinking about pulling an 'Adele-Hello' on her; thinking about crashing the wedding; thinking about stealing the bouquet before the ceremony starts; thinking about raising your hand during the "forever hold your peace" bit.
I sympathize genuinely, I do but she had to do what was best for her.
Bet you have some questions though like, what happened? How did she get over you so fast? Was she dating someone before? How do you explain this sudden engagement? Is she a branch-swinging monkey?
All these will be answered in the sequel......*drumroll*
......Ain't no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away🎤 ........More like forever