Real Stories #3: I'm Not In Love But Don't Tell 'Em
My last boyfriend had a big head, that was a huge problem for me, pun intended. He was also short. I liked him though and we had some really good times together...maybe even my best times! He was generous, a true giver. He cared about me, doted on me and took great care of me…well...until he remembered he was still into his ex. He’s with her now.
I was hurt but I know he wasn't "the one". He never gave me the "blood rush" or the excitement people who are in love claim to feel; the heart-wrench, the hand-touch jolts, the unforgettable kiss, the butterflies. No, we definitely weren't in love, that I am sure of.
I was hoping we would eventually “learn to fall in love”. Is there anything like that? Do people learn to fall in love? Do feelings grow? That’s usually how I approach most of my relationships; I hope the feelings grow out of infatuations...never works.
I know what you are thinking, “Why get into a relationship with someone you don’t really like?” Umm…peer pressure, maybe. Yeah, I definitely cracked a little under all the peer-pairing pressure. Everyone is getting into relationships and I think I should too, it just seems like the next best thing.
One time, I dated yet another guy who I didn't like so much (as usual), I honestly don't know what I was doing with him. He was a teeny bit appalling to kiss. The first time we had sex was the worst ever! It was so bad that I decided to keep myself since we broke up. I just couldn't believe I was sleeping with him, I didn't even like him. I got a new perspective on sex after that.
The moment I realize there's zero chance of me ending up with a guy, the relationship ends. Yeah, once I realize it ain’t love, I break up; usually by going into "ghost mode”. Lol. Grade A zone-out! Another method I use is nagging until he leaves (I become annoying; I get an attitude, then I begin to nag, works everytime hehe).
Dating has been enlightening, but I admit it gets a little tiring. It's the same cycle over and over again, getting to know someone new, same questions, different person.
"Hi" *in my thin voice* "Where are you from?", "Football or basketball?", "Flavor or Wizkid?", "Pizza delivery or dine out?", "virgin or non-virgin?"
Yup, it gets exhausting.
In all, I've decided to commit it into God's hands. I'm going to keep myself and be patient for his plans to fall into place. I'm definitely not going to date anyone I'm not crazy about from the beginning, feelings don't develop over time- at least not for me.
This article was written by an anonymous contributor. Her views and opinions are entirely hers and do not necessarily reflect the views of PGI on this topic.
This is story #3 of the "Dating Like Crazy" series (read #2 and #1 here).
Please note that this is a real story, please comment kindly. Thanks.
Dating on Referral-The Photo
You know that situation where you have two friends who you think should meet because they'd make such a great couple and also because your superior match-making skills allows you to outperform all algorithms the dating sites employ? Yeah, that situation when the match-maker (MM) in you suddenly awakens! For some people MM awakens more often than others *cough-Ed-cough*
Ed and I met through a friend, with some serious skills. He was also our best man, so i know this match-making thing actually works to a certain degree.
I've only ever tried to set 2 sets of people up and well, *blink*, I haven't been sent a maid of honor(MOH) request yet.
While waiting, i think i'll share with you something you might be doing, that's preventing me from reaching my MoH goals; one word-photographs.
Most setups start with the words, "Hey, I know someone you should meet!" After a light description (always light, you don’t want to give it all away), inevitably a picture will be requested for, if the two candidates haven’t met already. As the referee, you are the channel through which this photos will be passed and you have the right to turn down low quality photos (lol) I'm not even kidding. It reflects badly on your recommendation.
As the candidate, you should send a nice (very nice) photo, ask for a second option from somebody if you can. Hey, if you are going to do something, better you do it well!
Smile!
I, just at this exact moment, tested my algorithmic match-making skills and asked my friend for a photo to send to a girl. Let’s hope that works out! I want to be someone's MOH! Wail!
Anyway, back to the picture. It would be a great idea to have a really good photo-stash of yourself. Pssst! Girls, studies show we look hotter during ovulation. Sorry guys, i don’t have any information for you. So girls, right around day 14-ish, you want a little selfie-marathon. I’m kidding, no pressure. Day 14.
As for makeup apps and filters, in my opinion, i think you should "manage those expectations"-if you know what I mean. Just a little makeup enhancement, minimal filters and NO body enhancement apps. If you are looking long term, chances are that ALL and i mean, ALL, will be revealed at the right time, so body-part enhancement apps could maybe be kept behind the curtains. Lol.
To take a nice photo, all you really need is good lighting, the right angle; photos taken from beneath make you look bigger and give us the perfect view to your nose hairs *Blink* A photo taken from above usually is more flattering especially in great light and of course, a smile is always pleasant to look at!
Did you meet your significant other through a referral? Any blind-dating tips? Any photographers with tips on taking great photos, please advice!
Almost Married to Jake- 2,555 days of Summer!
Conversation I imagined between Rachel and her dad, Laban:
Rachel (beautiful and dramatic, screeching at the top of her voice, yanking at her hair): But dad, I love him and he loves me!!!!!! Why can't we be together?!
Laban (rolls his eyes): Because of the goats, my daughter, because of the goats
Rachel: What does my love life have to do with your goats?!
Laban: You used to be my chief operations officer! You used to be my best shepherd, then you meet some run-away kid who goes around making stew and stealing people's birthrights! You were my COO! Now who will be in charge of operations and Supply Chain Management?! Let your boyfriend work for me, if he can promise me returns on my investments, increased productivity and increased randiness among the sheep, then you can be married. I might even consider giving him some equity, a few goats and sheep.
Rachel: Ok, dad. How long do we have to wait?
Laban: 7 years
Rachel: What?!!!!! I'll be like a hundred by then!
Laban (puffing his shisha and looking over his spectacles): Don't be so dramatic, Rachel, what do you want Leah to say? Plus no sneaking into his tent at night. I got eyes all over this place........No making out either!
Rachel (mutters under her breath): Yeah, right.
The bible said none of that by the way that's all me, however, I can imagine Rachel, miserable and anxious, waiting to be allowed to marry the man she was in love with.
She was made to wait 7 years and so was Jake. Yeah, just a couple thousand days, approximately two thousand five hundred and fifty-five days. During that time, God was working. He was working on Jake (as he always does on us), preparing him to be a better man, a better husband, purging him of his Yoruba Demon ways, showing him that there were other ways to succeed other than being deceitful and stealing stuff! He was refining him and equipping him to be that tenacious man who wrestled with God and prevailed! He was preparing him to be Israel.
So, I ask Rachel, would you rather walk down the aisle with the whipped teenage boy who ran around making stew and stealing birthrights, or the mature, resourceful, refined business man who wrestled with God in prayer and prevailed!
God works overtime, he never ever ever clocks out. And guess who he's working for--you. If you are like Rachel waiting for a guy, wouldn't you rather let God expunge his Yoruba Demon-ness before you meet him? If you are building your business and it's taking forever, wouldn't you rather let God set all things together working for your good, even things you are unaware of? Take your time, while God gets your "ish" together for you, chill and enjoy your (±) 2555 days of Summer!
P.s: This post was supposed to be about how Jacob waited 7 years and we were supposed to laugh about how whipped he was and how he wasn't allowed to get laid but he was so deep in love he didn't care. And then I was going to ask if love like this still existed today. Clearly that post didn't go according to plan! Feel free to comment on both the intended and unintended post!
Illustration by @poetolu
How to Ward off Bae-Predators!
The world was a large place arranged in order by the careful and deliberate actions of the creator. Now, in the begining, he made man and woman. It was a pair (a him-her kinda project). Things were good, strolls were taken naked and everything was just plain organic and airy.
Then came the serpent; suddenly, "him" and "her" ate a fruit, everything went south, disorder took over, lions began to eat us for lunch, couture was born and most importantly, side-chics appeared.
Since the appearance of side-chics (a.k.a boo-poachers, a.k.a bae-predators), everyone has gone crazy and back trying to understand the best way to deal with this societal dysfunction. These days women look over their shoulders and skitter around like mice, looking through baes' phone, emails, bank statements, checking for the slightest semblance of infidelity, eyeing him suspiciously as he chuckles at his phone....all......because....... of....... one........ fruit.
These poachers are everywhere, just last month in fact, at a funeral, some lady found Ed quite remarkable and whispered, "Hey, dark hot chocolate" as she passed by him. Ha! All over, I tell you, in crevices and cracks, hanging off the walls and slithering through grocery stores and even funerals!
Have no fear though! Once again, we have science to thank for another relationship hack. A couple of months back i stumbled on a study from the University of Minnesota which discussed a discovery of the ultimate territory marking ingredient! Imagine if it works, we might be on the verge of solving an ancient disturbingly habitual social impairment.
So what is it? What is this salt that wards away the vampire?
One word.
Handbags. Two words actually.
Luxury Handbags.
Studies show that the display of luxury items ward off potential bae-predators. Hmmm.
They discovered that women who carry designer bags or shoes come off to relationship-hyenas as stable, as well as having loving devoted partners!
These affair-friendly females reported that they would think twice before pursuing a man who was on a date with a woman with luxury accessories! It didn't even matter if they were told that the luxury item was bought by the woman herself and not the man. They just believed the man had something to do with the provision of these items and believe when a man buys expensive things for his significant other, it means he is vested in the relationship. It's a double whammy, new bags 😍 and territory marking.
Nevertheless, luxury bags probably aren't a sustainable solution. Imagine you invest in a pricey item based on this post and for the first few years, you go everywhere with this bag and bae; what if you can't buy anymore of these expensive bags and the predator sees you 15 years later with the same now-weathered bag, all thread bare and stressed, she'd probably figure out it was just a poor front that she should have ignored 15 years ago. Predator-mode activated!
Therefore, instead of lugging around the 15 year-old hustle-satchel, here's a more sustainable way; ensure your relationship has the highest standard of love, friendship, transparency, communication, honesty and of course, a handbag fund.
What are your thoughts? Anyone finding bae chocolatey? What really is this world coming to (rhetoric question, except you have an answer!)
Why "Yoruba Demons" are Here to Stay
Here's a conversation between my friend and I:
My friend: I enter wedding receptions these days and everywhere I turn, I see "Yoruba demons"
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
My friend: Yes, o! And they always look so good! Fresh, with their full beards, wearing their black native and staring at you from behind their sunglasses
Me: Ehn just don't look at them na, sit down far far away from them
My friend: *sighs ruefully*
Me: *Sigh in solidarity because I know how we girls do like the quintessential bad boy*
Fact: Girls love them some Yoruba demons. We like the psycho ones that stare at us from behind the dark lenses; the ones who make us feel uneasy and uncertain; the guy that says like 5 words per day , that smells like a Tom Ford lab and throws us an occasional side grin. Yes, The one that uses his eyeball-print as the passcode to his phone and has at least 3 aliases- Jimi on the mainland, Jay-Eye on the island and Jim off the shores of Nigeria.
As for the simple, nice guys with the ready grin, one universal name and no passcode on his phone....... though, bleh, not so much.
Why? Why do we tend to fall for the no-good demon and ignore the good guy?
A study shows that we like bad boys because our minds think they might make good fathers for our kids.... I know, they lost me there too. Here's the weird biological explanation.
Women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys are confident, assertive, exciting and the biological interpretation of this to the female mind is that these confident, assertive creatures will produce after their kind, that is, produce confident, assertive children who have a better chance of surviving on the planet. Remember "survival of the fittest", this principle is engrained into our biological psyche and our decision-making process unknowingly depend on it in this case. Somewhere in our minds, the Bad boy is the alpha male and we are drawn to him because we believe he will give us viable offspring that will survive the elements.
Basically at the root of this is the need to procreate and multiply.
Note that in theory, women say they want a nice, adorable guy; the type of guy who treats his girl like a queen and loves her for who she is. But in reality, what she really wants is to fall into the clutches of a bad bad bad boy who will turn her mind to mush and give her demon babies that survive the elements!
That's just jacked up. Lol.
Then the plot thickens, a study shows that we get more to attracted to bad boys when we are ovulating! Tsk! Your own body trying to set you up to be a single parent. I can't believe it. We really are our own worst enemies.
So, if there is a wide-eyed nice guy and a Yoruba demon up for grabs, chances are that the more aggressive guy-demon will be chosen and nice guy gets the bench. The warm friendship bench.
Girls are not stupid though, we know you are bad....so as sharp girls who want to eat their demon and have it, we choose to fix the bad boy; we want him to go to church with us, join the ushering department and submit his phone password. Just like that!
*Blink*
We want Bad boy to retire because we suddenly show up on the scene. It doesn't work that way. You'll realize this once you discover that you can't get the leopard to go spotless or to wear velvet. Demons don't change. I don't know where we get this change idea from.
I blame Disney movies for this false understanding of the concept of change in relationships. There's an implicit understanding that change is guaranteed once you get into a relationship with someone. For example, Beauty and the Beast, the guy changed because she showed up and kissed him; the little Mermaid, she kissed him and changed into a human to be with the guy; Tarzan ditched his hot signature loin cloth for a suit at some point. Since we were kids, fairy tales have been tied to the "He will change. Kiss him, he will change". Ain't no demon changing here. He won't change. If you do kiss him, you'll probably change-into a mum, a single mum thanks to your ovulating ovaries. Sigh. Girls won't stop liking the demons, they are here to stay. As for the good boys, 1 in 3 will eventually become a demon and we'll all live happily ever after.
5 Things to Know When Your Unofficial Girlfriend is Engaged to Another Guy
Here's a fun story:
Boy meets girl. Girl falls deeply in love. Like deep, DEEP, like she fell, FELL (repetition for emphasis); so deep that she breaks every single bone in her body (If you said bone, BONE, you're a genius).
So anyway, girl falls hard and boy falls too. They are in this beautiful place where they can't get enough of each other. They are always chatting and tagging; laughing and teasing; hugging and kissing.
However, because it's 2015, boy doesn't quite make clear what his intentions are.
Let's all pause and think about a guy we know who does this as a habit.
[Got a name? Ok, insert the name every time you see 'he']
"It's 2015" he says, " No one makes being official a big deal. No one asks a girl out anymore. It's 2015!"
Now in boy's mind, he thinks he has a girlfriend or some derivative of a girlfriend. He thinks they have an unstated understanding of exclusivity.
Girl, on the other hand, is dying to ask the "What are we?" question but is pretty conflicted on the inside; she doesn't want to seem too desperate, she thinks she's a 2015 girl too, so she doesn't really need a statement of commitment; then there are those stupid memes that make girls who ask that question seem stupid. She really really wants to know, she needs to know but she still doesn't ask.
Their relationship begins to dwindle. Soon, they drift but still do not quite end it officially......because of course, what's there to end?
Here's the punch line:
Two months later, girl is engaged!
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone....🎧
I've heard this story, one too many times. I decided to write a post on it because I know the girl in this story is usually looked upon as a branch-swinging monkey, jumping from guy to guy, in a record amount of time, to achieve her new marital status. I am here to defend the girl....and the guy.
To all the disgruntled men who have been ditched by this girl, please understand that this situation was beyond your control. Psych! No it wasn't! You were very much in control of this situation. In fact, everything was hinged on your decision to publicly declare that you wanted to be in a relationship with her. How easy would that have been? Say,"Would be my girlfriend?" Seriously, say it out loud. See how easy that was? Better late than never, huh?
15A.D, 2015, 2030, 2078, the Jetson-age, doesn't matter, you have to make your intentions known! We all wish you said something to her but now she's married or engaged.
......It's not warm when she's away.......🎤
I know you are kicking yourself every night as you think about her and you're thinking about pulling an 'Adele-Hello' on her; thinking about crashing the wedding; thinking about stealing the bouquet before the ceremony starts; thinking about raising your hand during the "forever hold your peace" bit.
I sympathize genuinely, I do but she had to do what was best for her.
Bet you have some questions though like, what happened? How did she get over you so fast? Was she dating someone before? How do you explain this sudden engagement? Is she a branch-swinging monkey?
All these will be answered in the sequel......*drumroll*
......Ain't no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away🎤 ........More like forever
Letters to my Great-Granddaughter: Sexual Dividends(#TBT)
Dear Charly,
"Any man who truly loves you will wait for you." This was what my mum told me. We had heard that so many times and no one was listening (being in the new millennium and all, Woohoo Y2K! Ultra-throwback). It was year 2000 and all everyone wanted to do was have sex before the world ended.
Me, I was a mama's girl (rarer than the famed "mama's boy" ), I actually listen to my mother (sometimes). Of course, I pretend like I don't and give her a good argument, but I do listen. Anyway she had given me this bit of perspective when I was about to start dating. This consequently meant I didn't have to have sex if I didn't want to. It meant, I control the sexing in every relationship (not the guy) and if I didn't want to, no guy was going to pressure me and sulk his way into my awesomely lacy underwear. This was great! This truly was the key to dating, I could date as many men as possible and not be called a slut. I would find my ideal emotionally mature man, intellectually stimulating, crazy fun, people/ family lover, a bit of a foodie and adventurous. And *drumroll* I didn't have to invest any sex! It was genius (partly because I was icky about getting all body “fluid-y” with several men. One, was really all I needed).
This is not an instructional letter. Today, I’ll just tell you how it is and what I did. It’s completely up to you to decide.
First thing to know, Charly, is this: SEX is an INVESTMENT.
Investment
/ɪnˈvɛs(t)m(ə)nt /
noun.
An act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result:(Oxford dictionary)
Sex requires devotion of time, effort and energy (if you are doing it right anyway); Shave, wax, lingerie (dolly, kinky, lacey, silky), kegels, sext, contraception (patch, pill, sponge, needle), condom (ribbed, not ribbed, latex, non- latex), Lube , imagination, spontaneity (car, shower, alley, basement), mental-winding on days you really don't want to. All these, with the expectation that he will find me awesomely wonderful and eternally indispensable, that he would be unable to imagine his existence without me and pop the question one day! This was the "worthwhile" result.
What were the odds that this would occur? How many guys would I have to have sex with before I finally got one who would pop the question? Would sex guarantee me a proposal or at least something steady? I really had no idea and I am not one to take random risks. This is where forty hours of my risk analysis and management class kicks in. I wasn't ready to invest sex into any relationship that wouldn't yield superb, tangible and sustainable results. True, I had needs. You probably do too (as much as I’d like to believe you don’t, being my little Great grand daughter and all). This wasn't about needs. It was about whether at 35 years old, I’d still be creeping out of a random guy’s room at 4 AM doing the walk of shame, or even worse I’d wake up in mine and he’s gone.
I decided. No sex. True, we’d make out. Up-against-the-wall-furniture-shifting make-outs (I didn't tell you this). However, no sex. If he did love me, he’d have to wait in line while I analyzed the relationship and its potential for growth. So with my perfect man criteria in place (mentioned above), I created a timeline:
Month 1: Meet boy (no sex)
Month 2-5: Get to know boy (no sex) aka probation period
This was the most intense time; the probation period. The main activity was research; his family, his Exes. Does boy have a drinking problem, cheating history, anger issues? Does boy need sex for this relationship? Is boy willing to wait till we are married? If he is, well, good for him, he could channel his sexual energy into hunting or some other activity. This was usually always the most sexually tense period. It wasn’t easy but you know what else isn’t easy? Getting over a breakup with a guy you were sleeping with. I had to be focused.
Month 6: Dating (No sex)
Probation extension. I have standards. Do not fall short, boy.
Month 7/8: (No sex)
At this point, the relationship is probably strained from too many fights and no sex. Muhahaha. Boy begins to come undone. Boy and I. On the brink of bliss or disaster.
Month 9: (No sex)
Tsktsk. Boy has cheated. Boy is acting up. Flirting with anyone and everyone. Boy thinks I'm oblivious.
Month 10: Goodbye, boy. On to the next.
Ten months. Difficult but effective. Heads up, just in case you try to do this, this won’t work if you are idle. Be busy at school, work, community projects, church. Do not trust will-power. My will has its strengths but resisting physical intimacy isn't one of them. I had to aid my will by selecting men appropriately and by self-branding (Dating and Business school really are connected!). He had to understand what I was about and know for certain that the sex thing was not off and on the table. It was off, far off.
I'm no super- woman here, I invented it because it makes sense and I had to protect myself……. from myself. I am my own greatest specialist in joy- sabotage.
Another reason I listened to mama was the fear of ending up with the wrong man, who I couldn't let go of because I felt attached to him. That would be selling myself short! I had seen it too many times. My train of thought usually was: If I meet him, have sex with him, then discover he's no good but I can't leave him because sex and its hormones make me feel bonded to him, tied to him, then I’d be in a pickle. An avoidable pickle (those are the worst pickles). Oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins; the hormones of deception. They collectively make you feel attached to the guy, like there’s something monogamous about what you just did, helps you feel secure, soothes you and binds you. I guess in retrospect, the only reason older people tell you not to have sex is because of the effect of those darn hormones and the false sense of security they bring.
So Charly, if you have never had sex before and you plan to wait till you are married, make sure you have a good reason for doing so (told you all of mine). If you started already, humour me and try the ten month trial period on a guy. Let’s see if he makes it to month five.
Love,
Greatgran x
This post was previously published on our old space, feistyphi
8 Reasons you might be Stuck in a Rut-n-Relationship
One day, you wake up and realize you are in a relationship you shouldn't be in.
"What am i doing here?!" The sky is NOT a different kind of blue, birds are NOT singing, neither is Michael Bublé, your laces don't tie themselves anymore, the clouds definitely have given way and you have fallen a good 100,000 feet out of heaven. You know you can do better but it's just easier coasting along and holding on to the familiar, just because it's what you've always known. That's the main reason we remain in unhealthy relationships; it's inconvenient to leave. First you have to break up with him, then his friends, then try not to think about him when you buy the 3 scoop vanilla-choc-cookies'n'cream ice-cream on a waffle cone you guys would usually get on Sunday afternoons. You'd also have to get back to having no boyfriend and someone to cuddle, no one to tag in bae-memes. You'd probably have to buy another phone, after throwing your phone against the wall with all those wedding photos on IG. Leaving might be really uncomfortable, so we remain in the Bublé-lessness and dissatisfaction. Of course, our friends tell us to move on with it but we don't. The secret to getting on with a break up is to watch your reflection slap itself in the mirror. It works eventually, on the 6th smack. Just kidding.
Bye, Felicia!
Below are other considerably amusing reasons we might decide to stay in a relationship we shouldn't be in:
1. HE OWES YOU MONEY
Lol! This literarily might be the most hilarious reason to remain in a relationship. If your almost-ex-bae is owing you money and you have no intentions of leaving without it, i completely understand. You are not alone, I've done it before. Then I had to ask my reflection...."Wait around for him to pay the debt OR Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package." The Lace-tying was all the persuasion I needed.
2. YOU OWE HIM MONEY
This is less funny than the previous because I guess it shows you have a conscience. Some girls would bail even though they were indebted. That's really nice, however, your ovaries aren't getting any younger. It might be one of those situations when you might actually need to borrow to pay up a debt and move on out. Being trapped in a relationship because you owe is robbing yourself of time and fulfillment .
3. YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE IN-LAWS
It's that situation where you started dating him and then you became best friends with his sister, became healthy hair journey buddies with his cousin and favorite visitor of his gateman. Argh! The dodgiest ones have the best family, I don't know how, honestly. It's like his emotional deficit was divinely redistributed to his siblings and parents in double measure. It really makes breaking up so much more difficult! Break up with the family first in your head.....not forever though, just till everything is settled. Take time out for yourself to move on. The family should understand and respect your decision for some time off. If you realize his family remind you too much of him, I guess you have to let them go too.
4. YOUR FAMILY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM
When mum won't stop baking him cakes, cooking him banga soup and dad won't stop inviting him over to "tease his intelligent young mind" over a glass of Jack. Seriously, Dad?
Have a talk with your parents, let them know you are letting him go. They need to as well. Plus, you also eat cakes and banga and have an intelligent young mind. How about they re-direct all that to you for now?
5. SEX
This is in two parts:
a) The sex is great
"Staying with a man for sex is a great idea." See how that sounds? Enough said.
b) You invested sex and now you feel trapped
Sex is an investment but if the relationship isn't working and you feel you might lose out by walking away, let me be the first to say, you won't. Think of all the grade A sex you could have with the right husband instead of this substandard body bumping you now currently endure because you feel tied to him. Moving on would be painful but staying in a dysfunctional, retarded relationship could do more damage on the long-run.
6. HE GIVES YOU A STIPEND
If this stipend is 6-7 digits and in a currency that is on a typical foreign exchange board, well, what can I say? Refer to question at the end of reason #1. If you are to lazy to scroll back up: Wait around for your stipend OR Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package. Entirely up to you, but just think....lace self-tying!!!!!
If it's a 2-3 digit stipend.......grunt!
7. HE BLACKMAILED YOU TO STAY WITH HIM....
........the makings of a Days of our lives episode! If he knows something about you and threatens to tell if you leave, maybe you should confide in someone and find a way to tell it to the people he's threatening to reveal your secret to. That just sounded very soap opera-ish, truly.
8. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND
There are other fish in the sea and here's how to find them!
What's the most random reason you've stayed in a relationship? How do you fall out of love with the in-laws? Have you ever remained in a relationship for reason #1?