9 Things you didn’t know about Women (#7 Though)
Just when you thought women couldn't get any more complicated, here are 8 things (plus one) you probably didn't know about them. Enjoy and identify below!
#1 We are happier when we gain weight
This study shows that women reported an increase in mental quality of life when they gained weight; another case of our biological setup working against us. Lol! Fun.
#2 We are gold diggers and proud. Whatever!
Women like men with the prospects of resources, can you really blame us, no? Blame it one our biological setup (again), it's how we are wired. Women seek men who are able to provide for them and their offspring. It's only logical that we'd be gold-diggers, only a little bit, yes, even if we make our own money.
#3 We love us a man who wears red
Not like a ridiculous all-red outfit, but just one piece of apparel that's red. In a study where female subjects were shown photos of the same man wearing a blue, grey or red shirt, most women reported that the guy looked most attractive and sexually appealing in the red shirt. Red is associated with power, dominance and status. There we go again G-digging.
#4 We like a little "girl-envy"
Apparently we shop to show off to other females and not to men. This I couldn't believe, it makes sense though, a girl would go, "wow, you have the new mulberry!", a guy really might not notice lol. Women are more likely to give a specific, educated compliment, so i guess it foloows that we would want to dress for such "educated" compliments. I like dressing for me though! I compliment myself already!
#5 We mark our territories too
It has been discovered that women are able to draw borderlines around their partners and spouses when they carry expensive labeled handbags. A study shows that when women see another female with a pricey handbag on one arm and a man on the other, she crosses the man off her potential sugar-bae list.
#6 We think men who do chores are hot
Don't ask. While it sounds like a fine case of reverse psychology, it's true and we can't argue with stuff science proves. So men, hehe!
#7 We attracted to men who look like dad
Studies show women who have good relationships with their fathers, tend to fall for a pop-look-alike. Lol! I don't want to talk about it anymore. Lol
#8 We act like we don't need mentors
A study shows women are more hesitant than men about asking to be mentored. This could be for several reasons, maybe the misconception that other women don't like to help subordinates get up the work ladder. It's not entirely a misconception, I've experienced that first hand. There are women who have a problem with helping others out of insecurity and other personal reasons, but there are some who don't mind. It's important to find a good mentor. We need to be more proactive with reaching out to women in higher positions, it's been proven that mentored professionals have a higher chance of success.
#9 Working mothers are more productive than their peers who have no children! Who knew?!
According to this article, working mamas have been seen to be more productive at the work place. This might be because they are better organized or they feel the need to catch up to a greater degree, so they don't fall behind. Whatever it is, they do it well! Way to Go, Mums!
I think i might be 8, 7, 6, 3, 1 and ta-dah...2! Love you, Ed!
Can you identify with any of these? Are you actually happier when you gain weight? Do you have a mentor? Does he look like dad?
How to Ward off Bae-Predators!
The world was a large place arranged in order by the careful and deliberate actions of the creator. Now, in the begining, he made man and woman. It was a pair (a him-her kinda project). Things were good, strolls were taken naked and everything was just plain organic and airy.
Then came the serpent; suddenly, "him" and "her" ate a fruit, everything went south, disorder took over, lions began to eat us for lunch, couture was born and most importantly, side-chics appeared.
Since the appearance of side-chics (a.k.a boo-poachers, a.k.a bae-predators), everyone has gone crazy and back trying to understand the best way to deal with this societal dysfunction. These days women look over their shoulders and skitter around like mice, looking through baes' phone, emails, bank statements, checking for the slightest semblance of infidelity, eyeing him suspiciously as he chuckles at his phone....all......because....... of....... one........ fruit.
These poachers are everywhere, just last month in fact, at a funeral, some lady found Ed quite remarkable and whispered, "Hey, dark hot chocolate" as she passed by him. Ha! All over, I tell you, in crevices and cracks, hanging off the walls and slithering through grocery stores and even funerals!
Have no fear though! Once again, we have science to thank for another relationship hack. A couple of months back i stumbled on a study from the University of Minnesota which discussed a discovery of the ultimate territory marking ingredient! Imagine if it works, we might be on the verge of solving an ancient disturbingly habitual social impairment.
So what is it? What is this salt that wards away the vampire?
One word.
Handbags. Two words actually.
Luxury Handbags.
Studies show that the display of luxury items ward off potential bae-predators. Hmmm.
They discovered that women who carry designer bags or shoes come off to relationship-hyenas as stable, as well as having loving devoted partners!
These affair-friendly females reported that they would think twice before pursuing a man who was on a date with a woman with luxury accessories! It didn't even matter if they were told that the luxury item was bought by the woman herself and not the man. They just believed the man had something to do with the provision of these items and believe when a man buys expensive things for his significant other, it means he is vested in the relationship. It's a double whammy, new bags 😍 and territory marking.
Nevertheless, luxury bags probably aren't a sustainable solution. Imagine you invest in a pricey item based on this post and for the first few years, you go everywhere with this bag and bae; what if you can't buy anymore of these expensive bags and the predator sees you 15 years later with the same now-weathered bag, all thread bare and stressed, she'd probably figure out it was just a poor front that she should have ignored 15 years ago. Predator-mode activated!
Therefore, instead of lugging around the 15 year-old hustle-satchel, here's a more sustainable way; ensure your relationship has the highest standard of love, friendship, transparency, communication, honesty and of course, a handbag fund.
What are your thoughts? Anyone finding bae chocolatey? What really is this world coming to (rhetoric question, except you have an answer!)
Why "Yoruba Demons" are Here to Stay
Here's a conversation between my friend and I:
My friend: I enter wedding receptions these days and everywhere I turn, I see "Yoruba demons"
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
My friend: Yes, o! And they always look so good! Fresh, with their full beards, wearing their black native and staring at you from behind their sunglasses
Me: Ehn just don't look at them na, sit down far far away from them
My friend: *sighs ruefully*
Me: *Sigh in solidarity because I know how we girls do like the quintessential bad boy*
Fact: Girls love them some Yoruba demons. We like the psycho ones that stare at us from behind the dark lenses; the ones who make us feel uneasy and uncertain; the guy that says like 5 words per day , that smells like a Tom Ford lab and throws us an occasional side grin. Yes, The one that uses his eyeball-print as the passcode to his phone and has at least 3 aliases- Jimi on the mainland, Jay-Eye on the island and Jim off the shores of Nigeria.
As for the simple, nice guys with the ready grin, one universal name and no passcode on his phone....... though, bleh, not so much.
Why? Why do we tend to fall for the no-good demon and ignore the good guy?
A study shows that we like bad boys because our minds think they might make good fathers for our kids.... I know, they lost me there too. Here's the weird biological explanation.
Women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys are confident, assertive, exciting and the biological interpretation of this to the female mind is that these confident, assertive creatures will produce after their kind, that is, produce confident, assertive children who have a better chance of surviving on the planet. Remember "survival of the fittest", this principle is engrained into our biological psyche and our decision-making process unknowingly depend on it in this case. Somewhere in our minds, the Bad boy is the alpha male and we are drawn to him because we believe he will give us viable offspring that will survive the elements.
Basically at the root of this is the need to procreate and multiply.
Note that in theory, women say they want a nice, adorable guy; the type of guy who treats his girl like a queen and loves her for who she is. But in reality, what she really wants is to fall into the clutches of a bad bad bad boy who will turn her mind to mush and give her demon babies that survive the elements!
That's just jacked up. Lol.
Then the plot thickens, a study shows that we get more to attracted to bad boys when we are ovulating! Tsk! Your own body trying to set you up to be a single parent. I can't believe it. We really are our own worst enemies.
So, if there is a wide-eyed nice guy and a Yoruba demon up for grabs, chances are that the more aggressive guy-demon will be chosen and nice guy gets the bench. The warm friendship bench.
Girls are not stupid though, we know you are bad....so as sharp girls who want to eat their demon and have it, we choose to fix the bad boy; we want him to go to church with us, join the ushering department and submit his phone password. Just like that!
*Blink*
We want Bad boy to retire because we suddenly show up on the scene. It doesn't work that way. You'll realize this once you discover that you can't get the leopard to go spotless or to wear velvet. Demons don't change. I don't know where we get this change idea from.
I blame Disney movies for this false understanding of the concept of change in relationships. There's an implicit understanding that change is guaranteed once you get into a relationship with someone. For example, Beauty and the Beast, the guy changed because she showed up and kissed him; the little Mermaid, she kissed him and changed into a human to be with the guy; Tarzan ditched his hot signature loin cloth for a suit at some point. Since we were kids, fairy tales have been tied to the "He will change. Kiss him, he will change". Ain't no demon changing here. He won't change. If you do kiss him, you'll probably change-into a mum, a single mum thanks to your ovulating ovaries. Sigh. Girls won't stop liking the demons, they are here to stay. As for the good boys, 1 in 3 will eventually become a demon and we'll all live happily ever after.
4 Reasons You Should Try 'Naked Thursdays'
It's time to eden-ize those Thursdays (or whatever your favorite day of the week is)! The scientific benefits of shedding your clothes and just air-bathing for extended periods of time are pretty great. I mean, God knew what he was doing when he plopped Adam in the garden naked and leafless.
Guy or girl; married or single; embracing your naked self is the way! Here are four reasons why you might want to toss them garments into the wind.
(1) Gets you closer to Bae
Being naked had to have had its benefits with Adam and Eve. Right?
Studies show that couples who cuddle or sleep naked experience an increased amount of oxytocin in their neural system. Oxytocin is the hormone which creates that feeling of vulnerability and trust. It also might be the key to exclusivity in relationships (i.e no cheating). According to this study, men who were given doses of oxytocin seem to crave their partners and showed mildly aggressive reactions to strange attractive females. In their words and i quote, the men "....preferred keeping a significantly greater distance between themselves and the temptress....." Ain't God fab? Made us naked, so we could cuddle and get flooded with oxytocin and be committed; everyone's happy.
Naked couples probably fight less too, yet again because they feel vulnerable and it's just not possible to take an angry naked person seriously.
(2) Makes you self-conscious (which is NOT a bad thing)
Being naked often, makes you body-conscious; it helps you appreciate those parts of you that have been hidden under all that fabric! It also nudges you 'to drop and give twenty' or for some people, tells you to eat a little more.
You can imagine that you'll also be hair-conscious.
(No more wax day postponing. The more naked you are, the more Naked Thursday doesn't look like a Tarzan movie set. By the way, Tarzan is out next year, I can't wait! It's pretty star-studded too. Samuel. L, Djimon Hounsou, Margot Robbie, Christoph Waltz! Christoph Waltz is the villain again! He's like everyone's sweetheart villain!)
(3) Healthy Loins (hehe, loins)
"Breathe Again"(*in TONI Braxton's voice*), this will be your lower regions song to you! Being naked keeps you aired out and fresh underneath, and who doesn't love that?
Un-aired, musky loins can lead to an increase in testicular temperature, which in turn could cause a case of low sperm count, we don't want that. So, get rid of the clammy and let it go, let it go, don't hold it back anymore!
Women also stand the risk of UTIs and infections with dark, musky crotches and this can be prevented by sufficient aeration and healthy breathing. Woosa, anyone?
(4) No Laundry
You don't have to think about that day's contribution to laundry or you can plan Naked Thursday on a laundry day! Everyone wins; your clothes are clean, you are airy and healthy, bae is happy! Just chill on your non-leather sofa and watch reruns of your favorite show. Try to avoid going to the kitchen; making ogi or custard or starch; frying; ironing; extreme sports; fights. You are several levels of vulnerable, so respect yourself. Lol!
When last did you try Naked Thursday?