Have Fun Dealing with Pentheraphobia (the fear of Mothers-in-law)
All engaged couples, in my opinion should take one change management class before they get married. Marriage is a wonderful thing, full of delight, sparks, laughter, pouts(sometimes) and subtle and not-so subtle changes. That's the tricky part; these changes.
Change is an underlying theme in marriage, it's a new situation all together, new experience, new items on your shopping receipt, new conversations that never crossed your mind while dating, new living arrangements, new budget and resource allocation, new events, new individuals and participating bodies. In-laws. Da dada dum*insert eerie howl* Whether passive or active, in-laws are an interesting garnish to a marriage.
I think everyone expects some degree of in-law drama, as they prepare to get married; and for some, they get it, all of it! For some, they get nothing. Either way, it's important to have great in-law management skills.
Before i started dating Ed, i think i may have had a case of pentheraphobia, the fear of mothers-in-law! This is actually a thing, guys. Lol. But then again, there's a phobia for even cooking(Mageirocophobia), now, that would be an interesting excuse when i want to eat out, my eyes, wide, scared and all.
Anyway, so to deal with my Pentheraphobia, i decided to get some in-law management skills, by observing other people relate with their in-laws. I ended up with the awesomest in-laws, so i really don't know why i was stressing, i'd invite you to join our family but we are out of single people. Hehe.
What i learnt from watching these relationships was this; best advice ever: Treat your in-laws like you'd treat your family. I realized that you are in control of the way your relationship with your spouse's family could turn out. It could be great or a terrible disaster.
Treating them like you'd treat your family, or even better, as you would treat yourself goes a long way and sets you up for a great life with them and joyful grins from your spouse!
For example, if you buy your dad a particular fountain pen all the time, you should find out what your father-in-law likes and buy it occasionally for him too; if mum likes to sleep in the pretty guest room at your house with the floral print curtains, then set it up for your mum-in-law too; if you are planning to build your parents a house, and your in-laws have hopes of building a house too, I guess 2 is the lucky number. What I'm saying is, esteem your in-laws, treat them like you'd want to be treated at that age or maybe even a little more! Learn to honor them, they are your new family!
I know, i know, there are some inlaws that act like they belong on the set of The Omen, Lol! For them, you need to treat them as family too, love them, hope your spouse calls them out of his own volition and pray for them!
What are your thoughts on managing in-laws? Do you have Pentheraphobia? How do you deal?
8 Reasons you might be Stuck in a Rut-n-Relationship
One day, you wake up and realize you are in a relationship you shouldn't be in.
"What am i doing here?!" The sky is NOT a different kind of blue, birds are NOT singing, neither is Michael Bublé, your laces don't tie themselves anymore, the clouds definitely have given way and you have fallen a good 100,000 feet out of heaven. You know you can do better but it's just easier coasting along and holding on to the familiar, just because it's what you've always known. That's the main reason we remain in unhealthy relationships; it's inconvenient to leave. First you have to break up with him, then his friends, then try not to think about him when you buy the 3 scoop vanilla-choc-cookies'n'cream ice-cream on a waffle cone you guys would usually get on Sunday afternoons. You'd also have to get back to having no boyfriend and someone to cuddle, no one to tag in bae-memes. You'd probably have to buy another phone, after throwing your phone against the wall with all those wedding photos on IG. Leaving might be really uncomfortable, so we remain in the Bublé-lessness and dissatisfaction. Of course, our friends tell us to move on with it but we don't. The secret to getting on with a break up is to watch your reflection slap itself in the mirror. It works eventually, on the 6th smack. Just kidding.
Bye, Felicia!
Below are other considerably amusing reasons we might decide to stay in a relationship we shouldn't be in:
1. HE OWES YOU MONEY
Lol! This literarily might be the most hilarious reason to remain in a relationship. If your almost-ex-bae is owing you money and you have no intentions of leaving without it, i completely understand. You are not alone, I've done it before. Then I had to ask my reflection...."Wait around for him to pay the debt OR Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package." The Lace-tying was all the persuasion I needed.
2. YOU OWE HIM MONEY
This is less funny than the previous because I guess it shows you have a conscience. Some girls would bail even though they were indebted. That's really nice, however, your ovaries aren't getting any younger. It might be one of those situations when you might actually need to borrow to pay up a debt and move on out. Being trapped in a relationship because you owe is robbing yourself of time and fulfillment .
3. YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE IN-LAWS
It's that situation where you started dating him and then you became best friends with his sister, became healthy hair journey buddies with his cousin and favorite visitor of his gateman. Argh! The dodgiest ones have the best family, I don't know how, honestly. It's like his emotional deficit was divinely redistributed to his siblings and parents in double measure. It really makes breaking up so much more difficult! Break up with the family first in your head.....not forever though, just till everything is settled. Take time out for yourself to move on. The family should understand and respect your decision for some time off. If you realize his family remind you too much of him, I guess you have to let them go too.
4. YOUR FAMILY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM
When mum won't stop baking him cakes, cooking him banga soup and dad won't stop inviting him over to "tease his intelligent young mind" over a glass of Jack. Seriously, Dad?
Have a talk with your parents, let them know you are letting him go. They need to as well. Plus, you also eat cakes and banga and have an intelligent young mind. How about they re-direct all that to you for now?
5. SEX
This is in two parts:
a) The sex is great
"Staying with a man for sex is a great idea." See how that sounds? Enough said.
b) You invested sex and now you feel trapped
Sex is an investment but if the relationship isn't working and you feel you might lose out by walking away, let me be the first to say, you won't. Think of all the grade A sex you could have with the right husband instead of this substandard body bumping you now currently endure because you feel tied to him. Moving on would be painful but staying in a dysfunctional, retarded relationship could do more damage on the long-run.
6. HE GIVES YOU A STIPEND
If this stipend is 6-7 digits and in a currency that is on a typical foreign exchange board, well, what can I say? Refer to question at the end of reason #1. If you are to lazy to scroll back up: Wait around for your stipend OR Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package. Entirely up to you, but just think....lace self-tying!!!!!
If it's a 2-3 digit stipend.......grunt!
7. HE BLACKMAILED YOU TO STAY WITH HIM....
........the makings of a Days of our lives episode! If he knows something about you and threatens to tell if you leave, maybe you should confide in someone and find a way to tell it to the people he's threatening to reveal your secret to. That just sounded very soap opera-ish, truly.
8. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND
There are other fish in the sea and here's how to find them!
What's the most random reason you've stayed in a relationship? How do you fall out of love with the in-laws? Have you ever remained in a relationship for reason #1?