Have Fun Dealing with Pentheraphobia (the fear of Mothers-in-law)
All engaged couples, in my opinion should take one change management class before they get married. Marriage is a wonderful thing, full of delight, sparks, laughter, pouts(sometimes) and subtle and not-so subtle changes. That's the tricky part; these changes.
Change is an underlying theme in marriage, it's a new situation all together, new experience, new items on your shopping receipt, new conversations that never crossed your mind while dating, new living arrangements, new budget and resource allocation, new events, new individuals and participating bodies. In-laws. Da dada dum*insert eerie howl* Whether passive or active, in-laws are an interesting garnish to a marriage.
I think everyone expects some degree of in-law drama, as they prepare to get married; and for some, they get it, all of it! For some, they get nothing. Either way, it's important to have great in-law management skills.
Before i started dating Ed, i think i may have had a case of pentheraphobia, the fear of mothers-in-law! This is actually a thing, guys. Lol. But then again, there's a phobia for even cooking(Mageirocophobia), now, that would be an interesting excuse when i want to eat out, my eyes, wide, scared and all.
Anyway, so to deal with my Pentheraphobia, i decided to get some in-law management skills, by observing other people relate with their in-laws. I ended up with the awesomest in-laws, so i really don't know why i was stressing, i'd invite you to join our family but we are out of single people. Hehe.
What i learnt from watching these relationships was this; best advice ever: Treat your in-laws like you'd treat your family. I realized that you are in control of the way your relationship with your spouse's family could turn out. It could be great or a terrible disaster.
Treating them like you'd treat your family, or even better, as you would treat yourself goes a long way and sets you up for a great life with them and joyful grins from your spouse!
For example, if you buy your dad a particular fountain pen all the time, you should find out what your father-in-law likes and buy it occasionally for him too; if mum likes to sleep in the pretty guest room at your house with the floral print curtains, then set it up for your mum-in-law too; if you are planning to build your parents a house, and your in-laws have hopes of building a house too, I guess 2 is the lucky number. What I'm saying is, esteem your in-laws, treat them like you'd want to be treated at that age or maybe even a little more! Learn to honor them, they are your new family!
I know, i know, there are some inlaws that act like they belong on the set of The Omen, Lol! For them, you need to treat them as family too, love them, hope your spouse calls them out of his own volition and pray for them!
What are your thoughts on managing in-laws? Do you have Pentheraphobia? How do you deal?
My Spartan Siblings!
When I was three months old, my parents were involved in an accident. Fractured and recovering from concussions, they were stuck in the hospital for months as roomies--yet again ( I imagine them doing some "roomies-for-life" fist-bump as they lay in the same ward. Lol. Random)
Anyway, I had no clue what was going on, they had left me at home with my 4 older siblings that day and at 9pm(which was time for my night cap), mum and dad weren't back!
Where were they? That chirpy lady who smelt like fresh, rose-scented laundry and Elizabeth Arden's Red Door and that dark guy with the easy smile who cooed at me and called me 'babygirl', where did they go? These were my thoughts, as I chewed my foot and blew raspberries into the air, deep in thought......... as a 3-month old.
My siblings must have gathered around me in my crib, all four of them, sighing in love or rolling their eyes (lol) in compassion and in a flash jumping right into the role of parenting.
If you know babies at all, you'd know they are the neediest creatures on the planet. They have to be cleaned, fed, rocked, loved, burped, amused. Back then, babies used nappies not diapers; water not wipes; human rockers not battery-powered ones; bum air-baths not psuedocream.
For my siblings, the supposed fun, adventure known as their teenage years quickly became a blur of nappie pins, Farley's rusks and midnight babysitting. However, they sucked it up, gave the Sparta war-cry and took care of me as a team; they did it excellently well too!
My siblings are there when I need them and even when I don't. We don't always agree, which makes it all the more colorful, but we support each other in whatever way, most especially in prayers.
These days we are all busy. We catch up from time to time. I'll never really be able to completely repay them for having my back and making sure I always had on spanking-clean nappies that year, but I can requite with my unconditional sib-loving, prayers and confessions for their lives!
What's your fondest memory of your siblings? How often do you pray for your siblings? How often do you insert their name in scripture and bless them?
It's not enough to wish your siblings well; they need your love and prayers. Happy Siblings Day!
When your Husband tries to Escape with Penelope
Seated five shelves up, in my dark brown kitchen cabinet, is a large orange bowl. It's a pretty 6.5 litre salad bowl by the Italian brand Omada Designs, and I love it, a little bit too much.
For this post, let's call it Penelope. The day I bought Penelope, I snatched it off the shelf and wouldn't let go, it was the last piece at the store and I couldn't quite explain why I was drawn to it.
I usually reserve Penelope for days that I need to mix dough or days that I'm really in my culinary-beast Martha Stewart zone! In summary, this is my favorite kitchen bowl, so you could imagine my astonishment one day, when I saw Ed suspiciously holding my precious orange Penelope! First, he doesn't bake. Second, he was at least 10 feet out of the kitchen with my bowl in hand with a very determined look on his face! Third, he had mentioned an hour before, that he had some "home-improvement" activities he needed to get to! So like someone negotiating with a hostage-taker, i asked him carefully, 'What are you doing, babe?', I took a slow step towards him.
'I need a bowl', he responds and explains his project, which was to occur completely outdoors and involved every type of ingredient possible but kitchen ingredients.
Only heaven could sufficiently describe my distress to you. Lol. Penelope balanced precariously in the crook of his left arm, pleading with me to rescue it.
He had to be kidding! Anyway, we negotiated and he eventually picked out another bowl, which was previously a pedicure bowl and then we both went out to his home improvement project thing, to which i made zero contributions. Hehe.
You know, I never fully understood what happened that day until recently- whatever inherent value you develop in yourself is exactly commensurate with the situations you will find yourself in. I would never in a million years have let him take my bowl out to do anything other than kitchen-related activities. I was determined to wrestle it out of his hands, even. Lol. The inherent value i saw in Penelope made me insist that she remained indoors for "clean" use and not dirt.
Imagine we were all bowls? What type of bowl would you be? I'd like to be a gold dish.......wait, NO...... a ROSE gold dish with strong but delicate handles and intricate designs on my base, and I'd like to get polished every night!
“Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable.
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.
”
Every time I see the orange bowl, I remind myself that I have to rid myself of all those things stated in 2 Timothy, chapter 2, that are tagged as dishonorable, so I can be used by God for honorable things and so I don't end up being used for common tasks like feeding the dog or cleaning the toilet bowl or be that bathroom bucket with the white soap marks!
I'd rather be a fancy bowl that sits pretty high up the household duties but I have to constantly and consciously keep me clean; my thoughts, my heart, my motives. Clean. Always.
Might I mention that Ed has attempted to escape with Penelope twice. Lol.
What type of vessel would you like to be? You know God fights for you all the time, like I fought for Penelope, right?
Feb-o-mania! Catch the Bug
Welcome to February! Remember 31 days ago, when we were estatic about January, well, clearly we are over that now! Sayonara, January! February is here, the month of heightened flirtations, torrid redezvous, weirdly shaped candies and all that good stuff!
However, before we get carried away with February's red-panic and the crazy frenzy, we need to start off the right way......I'm going to ask you a question which you are required to answer, a question you probably weren't expecting me to ask; a question you would be glad I'm not there to ask you in person because it would be weird, the air would get heavy and we'd both be very uncomfortable. Ok, are you ready? Here goes..........
'Do you love me?'
I'd appreciate if you answer honestly and out loud.
Just in case you didn't know, you ARE supposed to love me, just like you love yourself, but then you already knew that. It's the greatest power that ever will be, not to mention the most difficult and the most unnatural human trait. Love is a higher become-a-better-me kinda calling but it's worth it in the end because it always protects you!
It makes us immune to evil, it protects our minds from getting easily hurt and jaded. It keeps us sane and helps us get through the most tumultuous of situations.
However, most of us know love in theory but fail in its practicals. We fail to actively, creatively and intentionally love the people in our lives the way we should.
So, since I'm the largest culprit of all (guilty face and rosy cheeks), here's what I'm doing for the whole month, I'm taking my phone contacts, starting from the first person with the name beginning with "A" and I'm finding ways to love everyone uniquely. I'm calling it the Feb-o-mania! Love is not a one-size-fits-all, it's deliberate and tailored. Let's love, just as such.
Have a great February ahead.....and don't think I didn't hear you mumbling "Yes" to that question. **Blush** I love you too!
Feb-o-mania plans? Share! How would you show you love to friends and family? What do they appreciate the most? How does this fit into your love techniques for them?