8 Reasons you might be Stuck in a Rut-n-Relationship

One day, you wake up and realize you are in a relationship you shouldn't be in.

"What am i doing here?!" The sky is NOT a different kind of blue, birds are NOT singing, neither is Michael Bublé,  your laces don't tie themselves anymore, the clouds definitely have given way and you have fallen a good 100,000 feet out of heaven. You know you can do better but it's just easier coasting along and holding on to the familiar, just because it's what you've always known. That's the main reason we remain in unhealthy relationships; it's inconvenient to leave. First you have to break up with him, then his friends, then try not to think about him when you buy the 3 scoop vanilla-choc-cookies'n'cream ice-cream on a waffle cone you guys would usually get on Sunday afternoons. You'd also have to get back to having no boyfriend and someone to cuddle, no one to tag in bae-memes. You'd probably have to buy another phone, after throwing your phone against the wall with all those wedding photos on IG. Leaving might be really uncomfortable, so we remain in the Bublé-lessness and dissatisfaction. Of course, our friends tell us to move on with it but we don't. The secret to getting on with a break up is to watch your reflection slap itself in the mirror. It works eventually, on the 6th smack. Just kidding.

Bye, Felicia!

Below are other considerably amusing reasons we might decide to stay in a relationship we shouldn't be in: 

1. HE OWES YOU MONEY 

Lol! This literarily might be the most hilarious reason to remain in a relationship. If your almost-ex-bae is owing you money and you have no intentions of leaving without it, i completely understand. You are not alone, I've done it before. Then I had to ask my reflection...."Wait around for him to pay the debt OR  Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package." The Lace-tying was all the persuasion I needed. 

2. YOU OWE HIM MONEY

This is less funny than the previous because I guess it shows you have a conscience. Some girls would bail even though they were indebted. That's really nice, however, your ovaries aren't getting any younger. It might be one of those situations when you might actually need to borrow to pay up a debt and move on out. Being trapped in a relationship because you owe is robbing yourself of time and fulfillment .

3. YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE IN-LAWS

It's that situation where you started dating him and then you became best friends with his sister, became healthy hair journey buddies with his cousin and favorite visitor of his gateman. Argh! The dodgiest ones have the best family, I don't know how, honestly. It's like his emotional deficit was divinely redistributed to his siblings and parents in double measure. It really makes breaking up so much more difficult!  Break up with the family first in your head.....not forever though, just till everything is settled. Take time out for yourself to move on. The family should understand and respect your decision for some time off. If you realize his family remind you too much of him, I guess you have to let them go too.

4. YOUR FAMILY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM

When mum won't stop baking him cakes, cooking him banga soup and dad won't stop inviting him over to "tease his intelligent young mind" over a glass of Jack. Seriously, Dad?

Have a talk with your parents, let them know you are letting him go. They need to as well. Plus, you also eat cakes and banga and have an intelligent young mind. How about they re-direct all that to you for now?

5. SEX

This is in two parts:

a) The sex is great

"Staying with a man for sex is a great idea." See how that sounds? Enough said.

b) You invested sex and now you feel trapped

Sex is an investment but if the relationship isn't working and you feel you might lose out by walking away, let me be the first to say, you won't. Think of all the grade A sex you could have with the right husband instead of this substandard body bumping you now currently endure because you feel tied to him. Moving on would be painful but staying in a dysfunctional, retarded relationship could do more damage on the long-run.

6. HE GIVES YOU A STIPEND

If this stipend is 6-7 digits and in a currency that is on a typical foreign exchange board, well, what can I say? Refer to question at the end of reason #1. If you are to lazy to scroll back up: Wait around for your stipend OR  Buble-Birds singing with the right guy+Lace-self-tying package. Entirely up to you, but just think....lace self-tying!!!!!

If it's a 2-3 digit stipend.......grunt! 

7. HE BLACKMAILED YOU TO STAY WITH HIM....

........the makings of a Days of our lives episode! If he knows something about you and threatens to tell if you leave, maybe you should confide in someone and find a way to tell it to the people he's threatening to reveal your secret to. That just sounded very soap opera-ish, truly.

8. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND

There are other fish in the sea and here's how to find them!

What's the most random reason you've stayed in a relationship? How do you fall out of love with the in-laws? Have you ever remained in a relationship for reason #1? 

6(+1) Things to do before the end of October

11 more days in October! What to do? Here are 6 things to try before November comes along:

Evaluate 2015 goals

What were the top 15 things you planned to accomplish this year? Did you want to start blogging or designing? Did you plan to leave your job, get rid of some habits or a guy *side eye*? How much of it has been accomplished? Have no fear, there's still time for accomplishments! There are 11 days in october + 61 in Nov/Dec.

Write goals for November and December and set your deadlines

In the -ember months, I personally just switch off on goal-setting and chill till the following year to accomplish something great but there's so much time to  accomplish so much still in 2015! I finally decided to write an exam I have been putting off in December. Yay! I'm seizing the -ember moment. No January is going to steal it's thunder. Set goals to be completed before the end of the year and start January on point.

Rewatch your favorite movies of 2015

For me it was the Avengers : Age of Ultron and Jurrassic world.

Nothing like Scarlett Johansson reminding me I can't dye my hair red, go to work in a leather cat suit and drive my bike under an 18-foot trailer on a regular sunny day all at once. I'd have to pick. 

The lesson I learnt from J.world would have to be that family is more important than spending all your time nurturing a socially dysfunctional genetically-mutated pyscho dragon-dinasour.  

Actually both stories seriously discourage you from creating crazy innovations that get out of hand and try to kill all mankind. Both also convey the fact that the cheek-bob hair style is back.

Have a before dawn- movie session on a Saturday morning

I have been trying to do this with Ed with little success. The plan is to have a complete lounging day beginning before dawn and watch a movie, probably Breakfast at Tiffany's. At dawn, we watch the sun rise from our balcony while drinking home-made herbal tea. What could be more awesome than that? Now that I've written this out I can see his reluctance. Lol.

After seeing the red moon, I've become more aware of the heavenly bodies, stuff goes on up there we hardly take note of. Maybe we'll just watch the sun rise and head back to bed.

Do something for you

Because you deserve it. 2015 is almost gone, a little pampering, huh? I, for one am in need of an economically viable exotic experience. Not sure what it is for now.

Do something for someone else

It's almost 2016! It's so exciting. Someone else probably doesn't see the excitement because they have lost hope of anything coming along with a new year. Reach out to people who need hope and give to them; time, money, love.  October 22 is make a difference day, find ways to be a blessing to others!

Have a date with God

Contrary to popular opinion, dates with God does not involve dreary, long one sided conversations to someone you think might be somewhere above the skies, who may or not be listening as he has his giant white beard groomed by cherubs. A date with God really is like having a date with anyone else. I learnt this a few years back; grab your fave beverage (mine would be infusion tea), your bible and chill next to the fan/AC , in my case, the fire place and then soak yourself in the moment. No phones. No date has ever ended well with a phone between your faces. Best date ever! 

What are you up to for the rest of October?