When Life Gives you the 404 Error Message
If there's anything life knows how to do, it's dish out curve balls, 404-error messages and lemons- unexpected events that try to knock us off our feet.
Recently, life sent me a 404-error message. Lol. It definitely wasn't funny when I got it but I'm "lol'ing" about it now because I can and because I know that "weird times don't last, but weird people do". *Grin*
The bothersome thing about lemons is their ambivalent nature and of course, their timing (it's like they have their own little special calendars that highlight the worst days to show up). They come in various forms, at anytime; "Dear John" letters a day before an exam, market crashes after investing everything we own, a relatively unfriendly spouse after years of being together, a bird who decides to poop while flying above you, as you hurry for an interview (Are you kidding, bird! Who poops in motion anyway?! This has happened to me twice and i honestly think it's the same bird)
Those lemons come. Some are more life changing than others, like a death in the family or a sickness. Sometimes, they come one at a time, sometimes in rapid succession!
I recently saw the movie, War Room and buried beneath it's quirkiness and humor is one clear message, a day will come, a lemon will come torpedoing at you. What. in. the. world. are. you. going. to. do?!
During this time, we have to hold on to our optimism, depend on the support from our family and friends, build up our strength and cling to God like an undersized wet-suit. The wet-suit-cling is my favorite because the other three maybe fleeting but God is the rock eternal off of which lemons and curve balls ricochet. And the 404 error messages? Let's just say there isn't any network in the rock-delivery failed.
God has been my sole support for about 10 years now. I recently discovered, by the way, that God wants us hard! Not callous, evil or ruthless, but hard, firm in character and unshaking in our trust in him. How fun, finally I can put my intransigence to good use. Hehe!
“If you fall apart in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you anyway!”
*When the bible steps to you and drops the mic. Lol.*
If you are going through lemons or error messages, this collection of quotes might help! Stay strong! Please remember to share!
The Mystery Guy in Proverbs 31
No one knows how to lay the pressure thick like the girl in Proverbs 31. Marriage counsellors love her, men want wives like her, parents want girls like her for their sons, girls break their backs and minds to figure out how to be like her. She truly, is phenomenal.
Men, there is a way to get a woman like her, by the way, but that's another post. Before I write a post on getting her, I'd like to point out a prerequisite. Is it just me or has any one read the first 9 verses of Proverbs 31 and discovered the existence of the Proverbs 31 guy? There actually IS a proverbs 31 guy! Why does everyone talk about the proverbs 31 girl and never the proverbs 31 guy?
Double standards alert * straight face*
They say to us, the Proverbs 31-girl wanna-be's:
"You have to wake up before dark and feed your family!"
"You have to be hardworking!"
"Be diligent!"
"Bring your goods from afar like the merchant ships!"
"Buy land with your savings!"
'ol up, people. There is a proverbs 31 guy! Let's talk about him. No more skipping over and acting like he doesn't exist. (That girl is pretty awesome though. Super-powers, mind-bending abilities and standards etc. I can't get over her)
Well, thanks to Lemuel's mum who wrote the first verses of Pro. 31, we have some achievable standards for the men too .
No more double standards.
First things first, as a man, you should know who you are and what you are worth. Regardless of pedigree, understand that you are royalty and created in the likeness of God, the one, the only. You deserve respect, first from yourself, and from that comes the respect from others. Self-respect and honor are all the swag you'll ever need.
According to the fabulous mother of Lemuel; Men (Kings) are strong, honorable, principled.
Being principled also involves not exerting yourself by sexing some random girl (they ruin kings). Kings have Queens, fact. Otherwise, card decks would be dominated by two guys who don't have a clue. O wait, plus a joker. Three clueless guys. Also, there are no random girls in a deck of cards. Bottom line, you need a Queen, not 9 randoms a week.
Don't be addicted to drinking or need it to accomplish tasks. Drinking heavily as a habit is great....... if you are dying. Any habits that impede cognizance and decision-making are not found in the characters of strong leaders.
People depend on you, people watch you and aspire to be you. Speak up for people who have no voice, no rep, no respect from society.
Be compassionate and strong for the weak. Defend the poor, the oppressed, the stranger, the women!
And THEN you can think about getting a proverbs 31 girl.
Much Love to Mama Lemuel, much love! ❤️
What are your thoughts?
Good Things Come to Those who Stalk
“Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who seek the LORD will lack no good thing.”
News flash: Even lions grow weary, give up, take off their running shoes and watch their dinner run circles around them, they go broke, go hungry and lack....but those who seek (chase, delve after, pursue, inquire, quest, search out, stalk) the Lord lack no good thing. Think of all the good things you can imagine, yes, even that random thing you just thought; none will be lacking, if we just choose to chase God ☀️
#stalkGod
Almost Married to Jake- 2,555 days of Summer!
Conversation I imagined between Rachel and her dad, Laban:
Rachel (beautiful and dramatic, screeching at the top of her voice, yanking at her hair): But dad, I love him and he loves me!!!!!! Why can't we be together?!
Laban (rolls his eyes): Because of the goats, my daughter, because of the goats
Rachel: What does my love life have to do with your goats?!
Laban: You used to be my chief operations officer! You used to be my best shepherd, then you meet some run-away kid who goes around making stew and stealing people's birthrights! You were my COO! Now who will be in charge of operations and Supply Chain Management?! Let your boyfriend work for me, if he can promise me returns on my investments, increased productivity and increased randiness among the sheep, then you can be married. I might even consider giving him some equity, a few goats and sheep.
Rachel: Ok, dad. How long do we have to wait?
Laban: 7 years
Rachel: What?!!!!! I'll be like a hundred by then!
Laban (puffing his shisha and looking over his spectacles): Don't be so dramatic, Rachel, what do you want Leah to say? Plus no sneaking into his tent at night. I got eyes all over this place........No making out either!
Rachel (mutters under her breath): Yeah, right.
The bible said none of that by the way that's all me, however, I can imagine Rachel, miserable and anxious, waiting to be allowed to marry the man she was in love with.
She was made to wait 7 years and so was Jake. Yeah, just a couple thousand days, approximately two thousand five hundred and fifty-five days. During that time, God was working. He was working on Jake (as he always does on us), preparing him to be a better man, a better husband, purging him of his Yoruba Demon ways, showing him that there were other ways to succeed other than being deceitful and stealing stuff! He was refining him and equipping him to be that tenacious man who wrestled with God and prevailed! He was preparing him to be Israel.
So, I ask Rachel, would you rather walk down the aisle with the whipped teenage boy who ran around making stew and stealing birthrights, or the mature, resourceful, refined business man who wrestled with God in prayer and prevailed!
God works overtime, he never ever ever clocks out. And guess who he's working for--you. If you are like Rachel waiting for a guy, wouldn't you rather let God expunge his Yoruba Demon-ness before you meet him? If you are building your business and it's taking forever, wouldn't you rather let God set all things together working for your good, even things you are unaware of? Take your time, while God gets your "ish" together for you, chill and enjoy your (±) 2555 days of Summer!
P.s: This post was supposed to be about how Jacob waited 7 years and we were supposed to laugh about how whipped he was and how he wasn't allowed to get laid but he was so deep in love he didn't care. And then I was going to ask if love like this still existed today. Clearly that post didn't go according to plan! Feel free to comment on both the intended and unintended post!
Illustration by @poetolu
Selfies and Piggy-backs
Isaiah 46:3-4 (MSG)
The more I read this with my name scribbled in, the more I see myself on God's back, completely protected and at rest. Also completely taking a selfie!
If you've ever had a baby on your back before, you'd know that they absolutely love it. They turn their heads from side to side and smile to themselves (for some reason), poke you a bit and pull your hair (if you have any) but eventually, they fall asleep. It's a place of protection and comfort. Studies show that babies carried this way find security in their carrier, forming a bond, listening to the carrier's heartbeat, getting used to his/her voice and moving when he/she moves.
I want to hear God's heart beat, i want to hear his voice. And he promises to carry us till we are old. Like when we are 97, we will still be pampered and doted on by our God, piggyback riding and still hearing his voice, pulling his hair and enjoying the warmth of his love-while taking a selfie.
xx
PS: Scribble in your name in verses that show God's promises to you! What's you favorite promise from the bible? You could take a screen-shot and upload in the comments!
Babywearing: The Benefits and Beauty of This Ancient Tradition by Dr. Maria Blois
My File Cabinet of Wrong
“Love keeps no record of being wronged”
I keep records all right; color coded, indexed and filed. I have categories and time periods (for easy referral). Some people even have their own files. For example, my neighbor who never responds when i say 'hi' to him at the mail box. His file is green. Then there's that bully from when i was 8, my own personal bully. Her file is befittingly black with no gloss. There's also that lady who always meets my gleeful smiles and hi's with an arched brow. She has done it about 3 times (told you i kept record). The third time, by some clearly supernatural power she managed to arch both brows simultaneously. If you don't think that's supernatural, try arching both your brows at the same time. She was quite a sight. Her file is a faded kind of pink.
I have been meditating on this verse for like 2 weeks now and i'm sure even the cloud of witnesses are like "When is she going to get it already?", while fanning themselves with heaven type hand-fans. I think i'm not getting over these wrongs because i want closure, i want to know why in the world they are acting that way. In the ideal world, they would immediately feel awful for raising their eyebrows into eagle wings and run over to apologize and give a reason. Guess what, that doesn't happen. And then the bible goes and says not to keep any records. Sigh. So what's going to happen to all my files? How am I going to move on without closure, an apology, a picture of those epic eyebrows? Again, the bible says love keeps no record of wrongs, period and not love keeps no record of wrong, once closure is obtained. So i'm learning to live without closure. It's over-rated, honestly. All the power lies with the other person and their brows (lol! I need to get over this brow. Officially mentioned a variant of the word "brow" at least 6 times.)
This is the end of this post and right now, I am mentally setting fire to my files, all of them. Also you never know whats going on with people privately. They may be going through some struggle or stressful experience. I guess i'll keep saying hey until one day when they eventually respond. As i type this, i'm thinking about keeping the black file, but then, (deep breath) "Love keeps no record of wrong." Let it burn.
What's your file cabinet like? How do you deal with filed wrongs? Some people think you can't really forget, what's your take? Would you keep saying hello until they respond?
“You are blessed when you’re content with just who you are - no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourself a proud owner of everything that can’t be bought.”
Matthew 5 verse 5 (MSG version)
Bet you didn't know Jesus' diction was so hot!
Remember to share with a friend!