Real Stories #5: This Modern Princess and her Frog
I think the best part about dating is the chase! Who's with me on that? That period when he promises you everything, anything, his heart, his life, his grandma's ring and his grandma too. I love the butterflies I get in my tummy and the way my heart slams in my chest. It's amusing how much effort guys put into it. It does a lot for a girl's self-esteem and honestly I wish I could have had more "chases".
If I could send a text to my teenage self, I'd say, "Date A lot, you sexy thing! xxx". I've dated 3 guys in my life and I wish I had put myself out there a bit more, to improve my romantic repertoire! Lol! I am not saying one should date 10 guys or something, but put yourself out there, nonetheless!
Let's rephrase, put yourself out there, but don't kiss too many frogs either! My first frog was at 17. First and worst kissing experience ever. Ever. Ever. I know, 17 years-old is like grandma-old in make-out world.
Anyway, back to the first frog kiss. I was standing there, kissing this guy, whom I had no feelings for, with his tongue down my throat, literally! I almost gagged but I politely held on for about 10 minutes. Then the boob-squeezing began and he also started to breathe heavily for some reason. I decided at that point that it was enough and pushed him off. When I was finally alone, I remember taking off my clothes and taking a long bath. I wouldn't stop crying. Of course, I also brushed my teeth.
After that, I was done with everything; guys, kissing, frogs and boobs. Little did I know, that I would be madly in love with someone a while later. When we kissed, it felt like I was on bubbles. It was perfect. It was Heaven. Perfect heavenly bubbles. Then at some point, it all went south because we realized we wanted different things. He was very intensely "testing the waters" and thought I'd be fine with it.
Dating has taught me a few things, (1) don't settle; (2) don't be fine with a guy who "tests waters" when you are in his life, (3) don't dabble into things that have no future and of course, (4) kiss only the frogs who you have feelings for, otherwise, you'd just be kissing a random frog and we all know that's yucky.
This is story #5 of the "Dating Like Crazy" series (read #4, #3, #2 and #1 ). This article was written by an anonymous contributor. Her views and opinions are entirely hers and do not necessarily reflect the views of PGI on this topic.Please note that this is a real story, please comment kindly. Thanks.
My 7-year old nephew is visiting and he has been loitering around me because he saw the title! Lol! This is not the fairytale you think it is, I've told him but he doesn't believe. He reads quite impressively too.
Real Stories #2: Her Side-Sausage And other Case Studies
The writer of this article travels a lot for work, lives in hotel rooms, meets exotic women and his adventures are based on his encounters on these travels.
"It's a man's world," They say.
"Yoruba demons are evil!" They screech.
"Beware of the beard gang", They whisper.
"He left me and got married a week later!" They grumble as they delete his photos furiously.
The idea that men are the only ones capable of inflicting any form of emotional pain in a relationship or any other stage of interaction is quite flawed. We aren't the only ones who dole out the hurt and pain- the women are not doing too badly in that department either!
"Prove it!" I hear you yell.
Like you had to ask.
Case study 1: Miss X, the Queen of Sausages
Miss X and I weren't official yet. We had been on for a few weeks, trying to "define things". At some point during this 'definition' era, she told me she was going to Abuja with her boss to meet with a potential client.
I would later come to realize that the boss and the potential client were, in fact non-existent and that Miss X actually had herself a little side-sausage up North. I admit that there were some signs I conveniently ignored and that I shouldn't have.
For example, in the first week, she kept asking to check my messages and chats. This really threw me off at first, but I didn't think much of it until later. You see, I had given her no reasons to be suspicious. Why had she transformed herself into Sherlock? Was this what I was about to sign up for? But in the end, I realized that only guilty people become suspicious for no reason.
One night, she had a little too much to drink and told me about 'side-sausage'.
Case Study 2: Miss Y, the Queen of Isiewu
Miss Y spent 2 days in my hotel room and wouldn't let me past first base. Hanky-panky couldn't have been more absent. During this time, she conveniently ran up a bill for my room consisting mainly of Isiewu, while I was away at work.
I remember standing and staring as she drove off in her uber into the warm sunset, the thick wad of Isiewu receipts in my palm. Classic Maga case, nothing to be ashamed of, Typical Mr Nice-Guy, we have all been there at some point in our careers.
Miss Y...well spoken, fun and alive, Half Swiss I recall.
I am grateful to God for replenishing my pocket.
Case Study 3: Miss Z, the Queen of Grilled fish
Miss Z…..oh Miss Z…..She friend zoned me so fast, I got wrinkles from the whiplash. The sad part was that, all through our interaction, I actually had the impression that I was making strides in a positive direction.
After all the Grilled-fish dinners (which I misunderstood as dates) and our night outs (during which she usually brought along her friends...of course, I paid), after all the trips, taking her to school(Bowen) in my official car complete with a chauffeur and police escort. The sum total of the reciprocated feelings I received were that of a 'friend closer than a brother.'
So you see, it's not just us the guys.
At first, my conclusion was that these girls ain’t loyal or were just plain evil, just like people think men are. The question is, are they really? Aren't women just as dangerous?
However, I have been privileged with the opportunity to travel for work a lot, and I've ended up with a rather eclectic romantic repertoire which I believe has given me a big picture perspective and helped me, believe it or not, appreciate women in a different way than most.
The relationship that left quite the impression was the most farfetched- so, some way, somehow, I dated an Arab lady from the Northern parts of Africa. A little unusual, but she was awesome- humble, intelligent, with a good sense of perceptive empathy, like nothing I've ever seen.
Unfortunately, "Thou shalt not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" and that’s the final say on the matter. However, I would say she definitely set the bar and helped me redefine what a relationship should be and for that I am grateful.
This article was written by an anonymous contributor. His views and opinions are entirely his and do not necessarily reflect the views of PGI on this topic. This is story #2 of the Dating Like Crazy series (read #1 here). Please note that this is a real story, please comment kindly. Thanks.
Useful posts: What girls really want from the good guys, here.