The Best Social Media Analogy I Ever Heard

The images on social media are like the case of the Newscaster who sits at his desk, perfect hair, airbrushed-water-based makeup on, tie knotted, shirt crisp. He begins to speak, everything is excellent. Then the director yells, “Cut!”

He gets up from his chair, and the truth is revealed—he’s wearing no pants. His shirt hangs over a pair of baggy briefs. He tears the velcro tie from his shirt and yells for some beer while scratching his behind.

Summary, nothing is as it appears in reality, and especially on social media. 

We only ever see people put their best forward online. And can you blame us? We only curate happy memories, the bad memories would rather be forgotten. Plus everyone would like to be considered with dignity and not remembered for beating up a family member in the elevator (hey, no shade thrown). So everyone puts up happy family portraits; no one puts up a photo when cutie and you are having an argument, although I think, I might do this one day. One for the gram. Everyone puts up adorable baby photos, never photos of the screaming not-so-adorable baby who hasn’t slept in 6 hours; they do not Snapchat their toddler chewing indecipherable stuff from the floor either. No one puts up their credit card balance, but you see the Ferragamo logo. And just to drive home my point, I will never Snapchat my charred plantains, because charred plantains bring everyone joy and cheer...said no one ever.  

Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by what other people’s lives look like on camera. That tie maybe velcro and those hair extensions too. On the other hand, they also maybe real. Either way, be joyful about the lives others are blessed with and content with all you have. 

The analogy cracks me up. Nonetheless, it shouldn't comfort us that these people’s lives may not be what they seem, in fact we should extend all human goodwill and pray they are as they appear in public or online—pray that couple is truly happy, that Ferrari hasn’t broken the bank, that baby is truly a toothless saint(right), that tie isn’t velcro and everyone has pants on. It’s the decent, human thing to do.

Do you ever post not-so-perfect photos? Ever have social media envy?

Analogy from my brother, Akin.

Beard Envy

Ed and I once met this guy with a beard, a beard like nothing we had ever seen before. It was jet black( fiercely so), full, light reflected off its healthy sheen that from a particular angle, you'd think the hair was white. We decided to ask what his secret was. "Coconut oil", He said. Nothing else. He couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes with that beard. Of course, we both took a picture with him (not him really, but with his beard).

So did Ed have beard envy?

No, Ed didn't have beard envy. I did. I wondered, "How could someone have such an awesome beard and I don't?! All that awesome chin hair."  If that guy ran for the presidency, he'd win. No joke

I know. I know. I'm female. But that doesn't matter! Why don't I have that beard?

Why don't I have a beard?

Sulk.

Irrational? That's exactly what our thoughts sound like when we envy other people. 

Lol!

Why don't I have that?

Envy is a show of discontentment with our present circumstances, which could be a good thing if properly addressed. Envy makes us lose sight of who we are, what we have, what we are able to achieve, what we represent. 

Let's say I decided to lose sleep over getting a beard and started rubbing coconut oil on my chin. Imagine if my chin is still hairless after a year? I’d get frustrated and bitter, and every time I see the guy with the presidential beard, I'd go bright green with envy- getting all green in the face for something that isn't tied to my destiny and purpose. 

Do we ever wonder what our path should be in life and if we are on it? Or do we veer off by staring at someone else fulfilling their dreams, envying them?  What if you don’t need that person’s endowments to achieve your goals? What if I don’t need a beard to be great? Envy has never driven anyone to pure success. Instead, it has driven many down dark paths in which most of their dreams are mediocre and unrealized and they forever sit on the sidelines of someone else’s race, hoping to get on their own tracks but they never do. 

I've stopped pining for beards and the awesomeness of others, instead, I celebrate my bald chin and all the treasure that exists within my being.

Edited at Will Rogers Airport, during a 9-hour flight delay.  

The Green-Eyed Monster (featuring Kermit and Thor)

Envy stems from a dissatisfaction with the present circumstances of our lives, in light of the progress of someone else's.

One minute, we love our jobs, our cars, our engagement rings, our apartments and houses, the next minute not so much, because that other girl's job is so much more glamorous, it takes her to places with names you can't pronounce, her engagement ring breaks your screen when you see it on Instagram, her boyfriend looks like Thor, her car looks like the Jetsons', her apartment must have been fork-lifted off of @InspireMeHomeDecor. Suddenly your stuff looks so raggedy and ancient. Suddenly, your boyfriend looks like Kermit.

Envy starts with that subtle conscious or unconscious comparison of what we have with what belongs to someone else. Then we begin to wish it was ours. We wonder what makes her so special. We wonder why we are so unlucky. You wonder how a girl like that gets all that stuff and a girl as hardworking and morally superb as you gets.....this.

Why in the world do we spend time comparing our lives with that of others? Why do we let the good fortune of others so easily upset our state of contentment? Why do we let it ridicule all we have obtained and worked so hard for? We let it exhaust our effort and cloak our accomplishments.

One thing I know is that envy needs your permission to do all these things. Another thing I know is envy puts a cap on your capabilities! I can't decide if that is a corny line or if it sounds good. Lol. It's the truth though, it puts a cap on it, air-tight and all. It limits your achievements to the standard of the person you envy. You'll never do better than that person. Think about it, what if we are destined for more than what that person has?  What if we are destined for an amazing ever-after with Kermit-bf or a way more fulfilling job? What if Kermit-bf hooks you up with a nicer ring eventually? What if? 

In Ancient Greece, envy was frequently associated with illness. The Greeks compared envy and jealousy with liver disease, during which bile is overproduced in the liver, turning the patient a little green. They may have found envy so ailing and debilitating that they came up with the expression "green with envy".

I agree that envy is a disease. Your immunity to it, however, is contentment and realizing your path is unique; that your life's plan which God drew out is the most optimal plan, any other plan would be substandard. 

So do you have that friend who has it all together; great job, smart, talented, stylish, Thor-Idris hybrid of a boyfriend and all the things you wish you had? If you don't, you should get one. It's a great opportunity to learn to be delighted for another person's good fortune, a chance to overcome the green fluorescence of envy. When you finally do, you'll be a better person than you ever were. 

Have you hacked envy? Please tell us how!  

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