How to make your Sex schedule feel less scheduled!
"Argh! It's sex night", My friend grumbled. I looked at her strangely. I wasn't married at the time and I wondered why she sounded so disappointed. Even more odd, was the term "sex night". What's a "sex night"? I decided to opt for a literary interpretation and stared at her blankly. "Duh, of course it's "sex night" ", I responded, "Every night should be sex night."
It was then, for the first time, that the concept of the "sex schedule" was explained to me- 3 times a week, tired or not, kids asleep preferably and a glass of red. Lie there long enough, someone gives up, both resort to cuddling. Lights out, snore. Dream of mystical creatures and shopping malls.
I'm kidding, she didn't say any of that. She stopped at "3 times a week, tired or not, kids preferably asleep". It sounded very dreary, still.
Wherever her husband was, I was very sure he wasn't moaning and complaining that it was sex-night later. He probably clicked his heels in a leap as he went to the water dispenser and had a mariachi band playing in the corner of his office.
Women tend to be the main barrier to sex, this is because we believe mental stimulation should precede physical stimulation, that is, we have to be in "the mood" or nothing is going to happen. However, most women report enjoying sex, even if they started out uninterested at first. It's weird, I know. According to Michele Weiner Davies, the author of Sex-Starved Marriage, women shouldn't wait for fireworks but work with the embers! How insightful. She also recommends figuring out what gets you in the mood, otherwise you'll just lie there like a cranky fish, thinking about the oatmeal bagels and French vanilla hot chocolate you plan to have for breakfast.
So anyway, I figured I'd do some research on ways to make scheduled sex feel less so. Here's what I found:
Buy new steamy underwear
Buy some precious little's, just in time for sex-night! Recommended by marital and sex therapists!
Relax
Learn to take time out for yourself. Do something that gets you to relax at least once a day. Stress is sex's worst enemy.
No more Vampire-sex
For some reason, married people have sex mostly after dark like night creatures. *Rme* Try some sunlight!
Play some music
Let's just say, something to drown out all that creaking. Try some Sade, Joe or a sexy playlist in your favorite music app!
Redecorate and tidy
Our minds love the thrill of new things, which is why your Amazon shopping cart is always full. Try redecorating your bedroom and if you are on a budget, move things around, reshuffle your bedroom furniture, that also gives a sense of newness. Remember to change your sheets and pick up the stray, mood-killing socks strewn around.
Venue change
Ahem...your bedroom could use a break. Try some other locations within your home! Where exactly? That's completely up to you. Creativity meets improvisation! Plus suggestions here. Not too sure about the backyard.
Skip a rest day
If you usually work with 3 days a week, how about throwing in a fourth day- just because! Impulsive and spontaneous is what makes planned sex feel less planned. Do something he's not expecting!
Think about the rendezvous during the day
This would qualify as mental stimulation. Of course, don't get lost in the daydream during a staff meeting. Save the starry eyes for later!
Love after Cardio
Scheduling sex after a good work out might work wonders. Exercise causes a release of energy which can be profitably channeled- for our purposes*grin*
Meet him half way
Don't wait to get "in the mood", we might as well be waiting for world peace, aye? Work with the embers!
What are your thoughts? Any suggestions to reinvigorate scheduled sex night day?
5 Random Things I learned off YouTube
I remember stalking my aunt, trying to get her to teach me to make Eastern Nigeria dishes. One day she goes, "Just check YouTube, that's what i do!" This was like 3 years ago and since then, YouTube, it has been. Before that, i used Youtube for music videos and school work *nerd-elle alert*
I personally think YouTube is the school of the future and this isn't even a sponsored post. I've learnt so much from watching videos that I should be handed some form of certificate. YouTube bachelors; although I keep having carry-overs with my natural hair YouTube classes.
Anyway, here are 5 random things i learnt off YouTube:
1. The Lyrics to Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal' (I finally got rid of my primary school playground lyrics and learnt what he was saying......the things I used to say before .....smh....were not even remotely related to the lyrics...... LOL!
2. How to make Nkobi (I haven't tried it yet though, I know it in theory)
3. How to pronounce the words 'acai', 'Gotye', 'imgur' and 'schadenfreude'
4. That cats aren't about the leash life
5. Accounting *blank stare* Does it still count if you can’t remember anything you learnt?
What have you learnt off YouTube? If you always knew what Michael was saying in Smooth Criminal you deserve an honorary YouTube degree of awesomeness!
Don't forget to catch the second post of the day! Enjoy ✨
Get your own Business Idea in 6 Steps!
Developing a business idea is probably the simplest part of starting a business. Forget the belief that you have to be extraordinarily smart or be a mad scientist to invent something or to be innovative. Bleh, forget it! What you really need is an understanding of yourself and of the market you are trying to get into and from there, sprouts your business idea! *pop*
According to the Entrepreneur (and my Entrepreneurship teacher), a business idea is simply finding a solution to a problem within a market!
There are three main ways of developing your business idea:
- You identify a need in the community and you create a business plan around that or;
- You capitalize on your skills and create a need or;
- You build on an existing business concept!
All three ways aim to solve a problem within a market. Now dropping all business school lingo, here are 6 steps to building a business idea:
1. Scribble down the things you love to do; or something you are really good at; or a task you hope to achieve by acquiring the skills required. It could be cooking, creating craft, solving problems, playing games, sports, climbing trees, whatever. Scribble. Scribble. It's important that you build your business idea on something that you love to do.
2. Ask yourself "What need is present in my community that can be met with my skills or with this passion that I have?" To help you along with an answer to that, imagine something that annoys you on a daily basis in your everyday life; for example, waiting for the bus. Ask yourself, how can i improve this process of waiting for this *insert adjective* bus?
Then ask yourself, "How can i improve this process and get PAID for it?" Don't be afraid to answer this question too. People make money, they want to spend money; true they like good deals but that's another post entirely.
3. Do some research on how the market (people & transactions) might respond to your idea. This might involve surveys, interviews, general interactions with the community finding out what their needs really are. From this step, you might find affirmations to your answers to Q2 or more information about what people really need!
4. Implement your grand idea but start small. You don't want to invest too much at first. Plus, the earlier you introduce cost containment systems in your business, the easier it is to ensure your overheads (expenses) don't go crazy in the future! Start small, remember "lean is the new robust".
5. Pay attention to the market trends and know your competition. Know what the other tree-climbers are doing and how they are improving. Don't spend all your time focusing on them though, that's the perfect path to being unproductive.
6. Keep learning like your business depends on it....because it does. Continuous learning is the spinach to your business. Never stop learning and keep figuring out ways to improve on your business.
P.s (1) Scribble down even the crazy ideas (2) Don't pay ALL your attention to the other tree-climbers (3) Develop your skills daily (4) Develop other talents
What are your thoughts on starting a business? Do you have a business you are trying to improve? Do you obsess over other tree-climbers?