Experience: Pigtails and Dandies

Primary 6. My birthday. I believe I was dressed in something festive and frilly, probably pink and with a lot of tulle. I had my hair in neatly oiled nappy pigtails with twin, pink hair bobbles.

It was customary, at the school I attended, to celebrate your birthday, out of your uniform, in party clothes - all dolled-up and of course, as the center of attention for the day. No one could get enough of you. Suddenly, you had quite a few more friends than you did last week, mostly because at break time, your mum was going to arrive at school with a very colorful cake, several packs of sweets, packets of Dandy and Robot chewing gums, and glorious crates of Coca cola and Fanta. Sugar-high for days, baby!

On this particular birthday, I was indeed dolled up. I was ready. I was the realest MVP. Mum was coming and we, all, would soon be swimming and splashing in candy. Break-time came and I smugly looked outside the window (I had a good view of the school gate) and was certain I'd see mum coming in with the school janitor helping her with the "stuff".

Hmmnn. No mum. No sweets. No dandy. No candy.

Quickly, my MVP status vanished and I was left by myself. All those friends and dandy-lovers ditched me the moment break-time was over. One of my friends stayed though. Her name was Bimbo. She hung with me and we both waited for my mum. I can't explain how devastated I was. A no-show on your birthday was like dressing up, leaving your house and going to your fave restaurant and realizing the restaurant had been burnt down the night before! OK, it wasn't that bad, but you get me, though?

I remained in my class, on my seat; I wouldn't step a foot out. Err... because what's the point if you have no dandy to show! Dandy was the life. Bimbo stayed and cheered me up. She might have offered me some of her stuff to celebrate, she was known to do stuff like that and she always had sweets in her lunch box. The last period of school came and as I now had been secluded to the "meh"-section of class, (it's very possible my partner moved to another seat: No Dandy, No love), I mopped; my puffy pigtails made me look like a sad Minnie Mouse.

Just as last period starts, from the corner of my eye, I see a little commotion outside the window; the school janitor is carrying a brown carton of something, someone else, behind him is carrying crates of Fanta and Coke! My eyes light up as I see mum in tow, walking swiftly in her clogs, a brightly colored satin dress draped delicately over her slender frame, two huge black and white shopping bags on both arms! I remember being full of so much joy and delight but I couldn't speak because class was on.

Mum came into class, all glorious and colorful, with sweets and goodies for days. In an instant, the dandy-lovers were all over me again, even more intensely than before! Bimbo, of course, became my right-hand girl, the vice president in charge of the dandies and Fantas. I don't think I ate anything, I was just delighted to see mum!

One day, when many people have given up hope, "moved on" and have secluded Him into the "meh" corner, God will come, glorious and brightly colored with angels singing and goodies for eternity. Don't ditch God because you think he won't come. I know, I know He has been arriving for a while now but He's only taking this long because he wants everyone to be saved or at least get a chance at it. He will come. Don't desert your faith. Stick to it.

Stick to the unseen dandy!

Do you ever wonder if God will arrive when you least expect? What was your favorite birthday memory as a child? God bless the Bimbo's in our lives! Who remembers dandy and robot? Lol! If you'd like to meet Jesus, you can, here!

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5 Obvious Habits That Make Relationships Go Kaboom

In relationships, there are good "Kabooms" and there are bad "Kabooms". This post aims to point out 5 bad-kaboom triggers that could cause a relationship to go desperately wrong. They may seem trivial and the big deal may be questioned. However, the presence of these habits in a relationship implies that the relationship needs a little work, as do all relationships, that we may all attain the good kaboom (fireworks) *grin*

Bad Kaboom Triggers

1. Hanging up the phone

Someone recently asked me if it was OK for a person's significant other to make a habit of hanging up the phone in anger. 

Yes, it is...if your significant other is 12 years old.

Adult relationships require a lot more than hanging up to prove a point or to show displeasure. The last time I hung up on someone was a while back but still I'm sure Elmo was disappointed. 

Action: If you can't deal with the conversation at that moment, simply state that you are upset, would need some alone-timeand excuse yourself.

2. Cussing out (privately or publicly)

Except cussing out is a huge turn-on or a value-adding activity for a couple, it's probably best not to. Berating your significant other, in front of other people isn't cool at all. It shows a lack of respect and drops you down everyone's hangout list. "Not inviting those guys to dinner anytime soon."

Action: Get on everyone's guest list by postponing the resolution of your misunderstanding to a later time when you are both alone.

3. Talking about your problems to other people

Here's the gist and I hope you'll agree: Anyone who will not be present after the disagreement, at the "make-up make-out" session should not be involved in any step of the disagreement either. Third parties shouldn't be in your relationship's business, neither should you run to them when stuff gets weird.

Action: Talk to the only other people involved in this spat- God and your partner

4. Running to mummy every time something goes wrong

My mum also believes in the 'make-up make-out' rule. Why run to mum when mum has her own make-out schedule to keep?! Figure it out, child!

5. Not listening

This is not the same as zoning out, although they have the same results. Not listening doesn't mean you aren't present mentally during the conversation but it means you aren't reading between the lines and trying to understand what S.O is saying. Half of the things we try to say never get said. They instead come out in weird blurts and verbal squirts that convey less meaning than they actually imply.

Paying rapt attention to S.O and understanding what's being said helps the quality of a relationship a lot! I've come to notice that on the days I pay attention to what Ed is really saying, I almost always get a "I'm so good at decoding and decrypting, I should be employed by the CIA" feeling!

Action: Read between the lines.  

What are your thoughts on this topic? Are there times that it's absolutely necessary to talk to someone about relationship problems? Are there any more habits you think could make relationships go wrong?

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Make This Week 100% Spicier With These...

I know the week is over, practically, but that's not a valid reason not to have a magnificent Thursday and Friday, huh? These guys below have helped me along this busy, blessed week. Here they are my spice-factors:

I. Spice up your soul with Mali Music

I discovered Mali Music in 2009 with his song "Yahweh". Recently, my speakers have been rocking songs like Digital and Ready Aim but I didn't know he was the artist behind them! His transformation and growth have been whao-ish! If you love hip-hop and God, you'll love this guy's music! The song below is the ultimate "you-can't-shoot-me-down" song with very powerful lyrics*goosebumps*. Check out his other songs: Digital, Beautiful, Fight for you! The guy is just super!

II. Spice up your mind by wondering how Oscarine became like this (lol)

If you don't know Oscarine, prepare to join me in wondering how she became this way. I have many questions for her. Actually, I'd like to have her over for dinner. First, does she live by herself? Do people walk in on her when she does these skits? How does she crack us up with a straight face?! She's just hilarious.

III. Spice up your taste buds with a watermelon cooler or make one, virgin or non-virgin

Watermelon coolers were made for parched throats, ok, they were made for all throats...no throat gets left behind on this one. All you need are some watermelons(naturally), ice, sugar, lime juice and mint leaves (optional)

IV. Spice up your dreams with this Nigerian guy we all love!

Credit: Getty Images

Most people know Oduduru Divine for creating the famous "I never esperredit"  and "Die on the line" slangs in 2014. Great job, man! Divine was second at the Olympics during the Heat 9 race at the 2016 Olympics in Rio, and guess who was first? Usain Bolt. His dream was to compete with Mr. Usain and that dream came true! He bit me with the inspiration bug!

V. Spice up your weird Imagination

Am I weird for hoping Divine Oduduru and Simone Biles fall in love? 

What are your thoughts? Would these help your week? Don't you just love the idea of sipping an ice-cold watermelon cooler while laughing at Oscarine-memes and hoping that Divine and Simone meet...Mali music blasting from your headphones! Bom-bom-kqish.

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Lazy Fashionista: 5 Summer Pieces I Killed...Dead

This post is about 5 pieces of clothes I killed! When I say "killed", I mean literally killed, not the urban dictionary meaning which denotes the accomplishment of "slaying" or successfully "executing a plan" or in this case executing an outfit. No, I killed these articles of fashion, some of them are on life-support and others need CPR but that's Ok, they have a year to make a comeback...that is, if they haven't formed a committee, stolen some shoe laces and escaped from my closet through my window.

My Five Summer Items: 

1) Bangles

I bought these ethnic patterned babies from the Front General Store in Brookyln at the start of summer. They were made for me. I'm not kidding. Other customers were drawn to the bowl in which these bangles lustfully lay, just as I was, and they kept trying them on but they wouldn't fit. I believe I've worn them on most days this summer. They just seem to go with everything! I have killed them, in fact one seems to have unraveled but unfortunately, I have no retirement plans for them, anytime soon, so get back to work, bangles!

2) Shorts

I. Killed. Shorts. I did. You know when your mum tells you not to wear something because it's too short or clingy, and then you stumble on one of her photographs from ages ago and she's wearing the exact same thing? No doubt this will happen to me if I have a daughter but you know what? I don't care, because it was like the sun moved in next door to my home this summer. I wore shorts almost everyday, except on Sundays and that's only because church has air-conditioning.

3) Crops

A-ha I didn't rock these so much but I did try my best to wear them a few times-with the Ankara skirt and a pair of shorts because I had promised last year to try them on. They were supposed to be a motivation for a great summer bod. Then again, sucking your gut for hours is not so bad either. Presto, summer bod! Don't listen to me, visit the gym. No, no sucking.

4) Necklace

It's a summer piece because I don't wear necklaces in winters. If it's winter and you aren't a scarf, please get off my neck! This necklace is a favorite piece of mine. I bought it at the Brookyln Flea market! It fit right in with most of my outfits. I can't wait for next summer to kil' it again. Muhaha.

5) These well-broken-in Orange Aldo flats

Lol! I love these shoes. I had searched high and low for them and I couldn't find my size anywhere. Then one day I asked an attendant helping me at the Oxford Street Aldo about them and he found me a pair! It's just plain sentimental attachment and they are so comfortable. Itunu, my sister-in-law, also has one, so the sentimental attachment is pretty high up there!

Is this the end of our superhero flats?

What is your most "rocked and killed" piece ever? Are your daughters going to give you the side-eye too? Hmm, I also had my natural hair out most of the time! What style do you have on?

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4 (+ 1) Questions Bloggers Ask Me All The Time

Below are four questions new and seasoned bloggers ask me about PagesbyIke and my blogging experience. Come to think about it, readers ask question #1 all the time. Hmm, what are they all trying to say? 

#1 "Where do you get your ideas from?" (What they are really asking is, "Do you think, somehow, someway, you might be a nutcase?)

Lol! Well, yes. I've always been a little nutty but who isn't, right? *hollow empty silence*. I guess it's just me then. Anyway, I believe I get my ideas when I am still, when I'm not fidgety and when I have peace with God and peeps. They just come at me and slap me in the face. Wet slaps in the shower, while driving. Anywhere.

Tip: Create Me-time. Clean your heart out. You need creative space and peace to channel your energy.

#2 "Where do you get your photos?"

I use photographs from stock photo sites such as unsplash.com and pixabay.com. My husband, Ed takes some photos and I do some photography as well. I also work with David Bragdon who is a great photographer and always makes shoots too fun!

Tip: Buy a camera. Just do it. Return those Ted Baker shoes and buy a camera.

#3 "Ike,*sigh* how do I start my blog?"

Just write. That's what my husband tells me. It's the best advice anyone could ever give you. Don't get boggled down by the logistics and site-hosts, just write. There are many pretty blogs no one reads. Content, however, is to live and die for!

Tip: After reading this, write 5 posts, 300 words each about 5 independent situations that interest you! Do it, yes you can! Yes, you can!

#4 "What if people judge me?"

When I started blogging, my friend said to me, 'You are about to open yourself up to a lot of scrutiny, people will do screen shots of your writing, take you and your literal work apart literally." He asked if I was ok with that. I sighed. I am a very private person you see, so it was a hard pill to swallow but I did anyway with some chilled mango juice. Swallowed it. You have to be willing to accept that side of the job. It's kind of a work-hazard, if you know what I mean. I've had a few run-ins with critics but I can assure you, those who you reach and serve through your writing are far more important and rewarding than any critic.

Tip #1: Say with me "Judgement is sexy!"

Tip #2: Keep improving your writing skills. Don't ever stop!

#5 Whenever you refer to someone as "my friend" in a blog post, are you really talking about yourself?

Haha! Always my friend and I always get permission too. I won't publish until I get permission to use their story, as a rule.

Tip: When your friends agree to their story being used on your platform, let them choose their pseudonyms! Fun.

Do you have any questions for this blogger? Do you need tips for your blog launch? Someone needs to have a blog-launch party and invite us, please! I hope this post helped you. Please remember to share!

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Hey, Boo, Whatchu Got there in Your Hands?

​I have been thinking about this blog post for a week now. I can't sleep until it's ready! Ok, here goes:

Every single one of us has something we must achieve on earth, something we are predestined to accomplish in life. Some of us know what it is, some of us don't. For those who do, please consider this: If there is something you are called to do, please do it. Forget the limitations. Forget the supposed inadequacies. Forget that you aren't as educated or trained as everyone else. Forget all the reasons you shouldn't try. 

Last week Thursday, at about 11.45am, I'm flipping through my bible and for some reason I flip to the book of Judges. The only people I know from this book are Judge Deborah, Gideon and Samson. Anyway, in my flipping, I find this guy known as Shamgar. I know, never heard of him myself, until Thursday.

In my mind's eye, Shamgar has a stern, weathered face with a curly, shiny beard; happy, beady eyes which grow cold and gaga when he gets cranky. He got cranky, really cranky, a number of times. It's recorded that he killed 600 Philistines with an oxgoad.

If you just brushed over that like meh...you need to read it again.

Shamgar killed 600 men with an oxgoad.

An oxgoad is a farm instrument with a pointy end used to prod ox on their tushes to get them moving along. I want to imagine that this poky end is not particularly sharp enough to pierce through skin, because no one wants to hurt their livestock.

Mr. Shamgar-Gaga-eyes killed with it. 600 times. I'm not sure how. 

A little background, during his time, Israel was hustle town. They were broke and constantly bullied at that time by whoever cared to be bothered by their existence. They were so broke and helpless, that they didn't even have ammunition to fight against their oppressors.

Judge Debbie mentions in Judges 5, that spears were rare during this time. Gear and kevlars were a little unavailable; there were no night-goggles, swords, arrows, nothing.

Meanwhile, this guy, Shamgar, without ammo, steps in on the scene and performs some world-class guerilla attack on the Philistines.

600 men with an oxgoad.

Moses crossed the Red Sea -not a river, a sea, using a raggedy, wooden shepherd's staff! *hello, goosebumps*

David killed a 9-foot terrorist with a sling and stones! 

Here's the cute part. These tools are items they've always had with them, stuff they used everyday to do menial jobs! Shamgar poked tushes with his oxgoad; Moses grabbed stray, confused sheep with his staff, David caught pheasants for dinner with his sling and probably strolled down the road, flashing it, all wooden and rugged, to the uncontrollable swoon of several girls. (David was the Beiber of his time. Just in case you didn't know. That sling was arguably the best part of his game. Wink.)

They are right there, our game changers- instruments we use everyday, that lay carelessly on our desks, that sit idly on our dressers, that sit in the car boot; instruments we take for granted, stuff that we've had in our hands all along!

Don't despise your instruments and don't look down on your abilities. When God's power courses through those things we hold in our hands, we will achieve much more than we could even ever imagine or devise!

So hey boo, whatchu got there in your hand? 

Written after a complete panic attack about my writing skills being completely inadequate. And then Shamgar happened! *grin* Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever get those panic attacks? What gets you through? Have you discovered your calling? How did it happen? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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The Inspiration Bug Bite

Let's play a game.

Step One: Choose a bug, an insect- your favorite bug.

Pause. You must understand how difficult this game is for me, I don't like bugs at all. I choose the Ladybug. Muhaha. I chose the best, huh? I'm willing to share though. Anything with a thorax and more than four legs is just too much. Ok, so Ladybug, with a glossy, dome-shaped red back and black polka dots, perfectly rounded. That's me. Have you chosen yours?

Step Two: Think about the last time you inspired someone. Before you say you've never inspired anyone before, you have. We all have. According to the Cambridge dictionary, the verb "inspire" means

"To fill someone with the confidence and the desire to do something!"

When was the last time you knowingly encouraged somebody to do something; when last did you fill someone with the confidence to do something they've been terrified of, something they thought they were poor at? When was the last time you pumped somebody's chest by the ascertaining their abilities? When was the last time you buzzed around their ears and whispered words of encouragement and then bit them with a fine dose of inspiration! Hehe.

Still don't think you've inspired anyone before? Dear reader, the fact that you read this blog inspires me. The fact that you hit that URL or that link, it encourages and fills me with confidence and the desire to keep doing this! That's inspiration for you there! Bam!

Step Three: Say to yourself, "I Inspire. I am an inspiration, to be more specific, I am an inspirational *insert your fave insect's name*"

For me, I'm an inspirational Ladybug! Now on my way to bite someone. You need to bite someone, guys!

What type of inspirational bug are you? Who are you going to bite today?

Wait, can I choose a fairy? Do fairies count? Who chose the butterfly? Who chose the praying Mantis? The roach is too deep. Cringe. Thanks for reading!

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Double Num: Breakfast and a Book

Earlier in the week, I got lost in the library, intentionally. It's one of the places I go when my day gets a little "grey". Right, I know most people go to bars but someone doesn't handle her alcohol well *shrug* and usually needs to eat a plate of Eba before indulging in any form of drinking (thank me later, for the Eba hack). It was definitely too early for Eba or a drink.

Anyway, I went home that day with two books. One of which is this book, Malaria Dreams by Stuart Stevens published in 1989. Yup, 1989, that book was being published while I was making gooey paste with my Farley's rusks (baby finger-food), somewhere behind our champagne colored settee and breaking into fits of toothless smiles at the mess*grin*.

The title of the book was the first thing that caught my attention and then the font colors, which are very similar to PagesbyIke's theme colors *blush*.

Malaria Dreams had me laughing from page one. I had to take it home because I couldn't keep laughing at the library and keep disturbing the guy watching mute music videos on the library computers. Don't ask. Cool dude, though.

Malaria Dreams is about this supposedly wide-eyed American who goes on a journey to Central African Republic (CAR) in the 1980's to pick up his friend's jeep and drive it to Paris, as a favor. He thought it would be fun. Lol! His friend, also seems to be wanted by the CAR government. Stevens gets it all- the stress, the heat, the bureaucracy, the alley-mugs, and of course, malaria! 

Of course, if ever you read this book, there are tons of opportunities to cringe, if you are African. It's really disturbing to think we've had the same issues since back then; corruption and the lack of accountability. Same thing, since the 80's! Nigeria, of course, was mentioned. Hey, boo! I don't want to talk about it though. Lol.

I appreciate Steven's honesty and his wicked humor. I hope it ends well for everyone. He clearly survives malaria, because he just tweeted a few hours ago. As for Africa, it will end well, the rest is still unwritten. Unwritten but predestined, by God. 

Have a great Sunday! 

[Oh, yeah breakfast was 2 eggs (sunny side up, not runny!), a toasted bagel, strawberry jam and Teavana's kiwi berry colada tea]

Have you read this book? What are you reading these days? What's the one word that comes to mind that would solve the problems in Africa? Do you have your eggs runny? Consider yourself special, apparently, people who eat their eggs runny, build long-lasting friendships. Who knew?

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