Letters to my Greatgrand Daughter- Why You Don't Deserve to be Happy
Dear Charly,
You do not deserve to be happy. Yes, I said it! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
You deserve joy-the highest form of it. You should want to climb to the top of a mountain and scream in delight, just because you can. You shouldn't have to pout and sulk because you lost a job or can't find Mr. Right or be sentenced to moodiness because Mr. Kinda-Right is acting up. Joy is that sparkly ball of tickled delight that bubbles unconditionally somewhere from your mid-gut, somewhere between your large intestines and stomach.
Oh Charly, if there is a man who makes you just plain ol' happy, i hope you are beginning to see how ordinary, common and unexciting that is. Happiness is dependent on variable factors; people, money, success, jewelry, makeup (don't ask), friends. They all have one thing in common, the lack of the consistency and the permanent ability to keep you in a constant state of happiness! So if Mr. Kinda-Right or even Mr. Right makes you happy, good for him, the day he doesn't feel too giving, guess what you'll have bobbing around your intestines? Joy! Crazy, infectious joy.
True, there is a time to cry and pout, certainly, but make sure it doesn't overwhelm you to the point of hopelessness. Endeavor not to crumble under heartbreaks and disappointments. My first heartbreak was very similar to the 6th layer of Dante's description of hell. I was lost to the world, whenever I was conscious, and whenever I fell asleep I sighed in relief as I slipped into oblivion, temporarily rid of the evil and pain on the earth. Every time I saw him, it would feel like my heart had been ripped from my chest severally and there was nothing left. It was the first time I would subject my state of joy to a person; unfortunately that wouldn't be the last time. I learnt much too late to learn to keep my state of mind independent of the willful actions of other humans or expectations. How about this- You be the one who infects with this beautiful thing called joy. It requires a conscious effort and a permanent reminder that you are full of so much love and positivity that, really, it's a wonder you haven't imploded! Your joy is from within and your internal environment must always be kept in a constant state of controlled delight, let nothing have access to it.
“Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, why you are, and who you are not with. When you need nothing more than your truth and the love of a good God to bring peace, then you have settled into the abiding joy that is not rocked by relationships. It’s not rocked by anything.”
So, you see you do not deserve to be happy. Not even a little.
Love,
GreatGran x
In Pursuit of Happiness' cousin- Joy
I have a problem with Happiness. She is very fickle, temporary and most problematic of all, subject to the environment. Stuff make us happy all the time; the weather, food, friends, Chelsea FC's new humble status(lol), a raise, your new car with 0% APR, that Zara spring jacket, a guy, your child, your pet, your spouse, a rerun of Back to the Future!
These things can make you happy, they truly can. They possess an inherent quality which evokes a feeling of pleasure within us; but watch this, a man can make you happy, friends can make you happy, the same way your child can make you happy and then in the next second can easily tick you off; the same way your perfect-10 jeans can make you happy, when those lunges begin to pay off. You feel great, you look great, everyone on the street thinks you are Joy-Girl(pun unintended); construction workers are falling in gutters, cabbies are gaping, commuters are slowing down, husbands are getting backhand whacks from their wives. It's a great top-of-the-world feeling. Then comes a week long of ice-cream, pizzas, some caramel stuffed nutty chocolate bars; temptation galore which you fell into gladly. Now those same pair of jeans no longer make you happy; the construction workers don't notice you anymore and those that do can't take their eyes off your new tummy ( aka "the flabster.")
The thing about happiness is that it's subject to external forces, THEY own the power.
Joy, on the other hand is your personal decision to be full of delight whether your waist hangs high or low. I once met a homeless guy who honestly might be the most bubbly person I know. Even though he had no shelter and lived off the charity of others, he was such a riot! We might have talked for over an hour and honestly, when we were done I was tired, he was still roaring with energy! I'm like this guy though....even though he's homeless and lonely, he's full of an infectious, albeit exhausting joy.
Here's something even much more stable than happiness; Joy. It resides deep inside us. Situations and issues try to affect it but can't, not unless you give them permission to.
Remember, you are the sole protector of your own joy on earth. God does his bit and then you do yours. Do not let anyone or anything steal your joy. No one; nothing, not your jeans, not the construction workers, not even yourself.
xx
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