Orange is the New Knack
Have you ever heard about prison literature? It is a literary genre characterized by literary work written while the author is confined in a location against his will, such as a prison, jail or house arrest.
Counting and crossing out tally does get old.
Check out a list of books written in prison at the end of this article. I was surprised by the first one...
Have you ever heard about prison literature? It is a literary genre characterized by literary work written while the author is confined in a location against his will, such as a prison, jail or house arrest.
I didn’t know it was a thing! I guess if you’re locked up somewhere for a while, you’d maybe be forced to pen down your thoughts.
Counting and crossing out tally does get old. You’d probably write a book too or a song, like Tupac did!
Check out a list of books written in prison at the end of this article. I was surprised by the first one.
Anyway, the only Prison Lit I’ve ever read would be the books of Paul of Tarsus. He was in prison when he wrote a good bit of the New Testament. The best thing about those books was the state of his spirit. He seemed content, hopeful and joyful, probably more so than the people he was writing to. He focused on teaching them about God, with the hopefulness of his imprisoned life.
Imagine if he had chosen to focus on his problems and magnify them. We’d have something like this:
“Well guys, hey, I’m still in these chains. I keep telling these guards that I’m a citizen of Rome. I’m a real Jew. A Jew of Jews! What else do they want from me? From the tribe of Benjamin. Did I mention I was circumcised on the eighth day?
He-llo!
The press is outside, I’d like my voice to be heard about this injustice. The food is terrible and I can’t wait to be home again eating Sister Phoebe’s lamb stew.
The prison cell has mold clusters the size of Corinth.
I don’t mind being interrogated but the breath on these guards. Help!
So I mentioned the other day that Diotrephes has been acting up. What’s his deal? I don’t have time for his pettiness.
Anyway, I’m still here.
Sigh.
It’s ok that you haven’t come to see me at all. Just continue living your best life while your friend is here rotting in prison. Please tell Carpus I need my coat, the one with the invincible stitches which I left in Troas. I hope Atrius hasn’t borrowed it and gone on his fishing expedition. That’ll be gross. It’s tailored.
There’s this particular guard who seems to be going through a lot and seems interested in Jesus, but I told him, “Hey, at least you are free and you don’t have these miserable chains around your ankles.”
Am I right?
He’s here again mumbling about believing in Jesus. I should share the gospel but I’m just not in the mood, guys.
Did I tell you about the watery soup of minestrone they serve on Mondays? Not my favorite.
Guys, I can’t even in this place. Lord, help.
Stay woke. Stay ready.
The soldiers can arrest you at any time. I can testify. ”
Well, thank God he didn’t write any of that nonsense!
I say this from experience, seeing past your chains and limitations can be hard. I caught myself complaining a few weeks ago, I probably sounded like this rant above. Till date Paul is my favorite Prison Lit author.
Instead of ranting like me, he wrote these amazing verses:
“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” Php 1:12-14
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice.”
Php 4:4
Perspective. Chains. Optimism. And some more perspective.
Other works written in prison:
Orange is the new black
Piper Kerman
A Prison diary
Jeffery Archer
Conversations with myself
Nelson Mandela
Pilgrim’s progress
John Bonyan
The Travels of Marco Polo
Rustichello da Pisa
Do you have a favorite Prison Lit? Which is it?
Amusing Conversation With My Nephew (Wait for it!)
My nephew, Dabi (who is 7 years-old today), is on holiday, and is staying with Ed and I for about 2 weeks. This was a conversation that transpired yesterday, after I served him his hot bowl of Basmati rice, plantain, tomato stew and chicken strips. He was waiting for it to cool down.
Dabi: If Ruel* and I are here together, where will he sleep?
Me: If Ruel was here, I'd pack my bags and go to Bahamas because you guys won't let me rest and you'll be running around and stomping on the floor even if I tell you not to
Dabi: Haha! Who will cook for us?
Me: I don't know. I'll be in Bahamas
Dabi: We will cook by ourselves
Me: That's probably illegal
Dabi: What's illegal?
Me: Cooking by yourselves is probably a crime. The police will get you!
Dabi: *Gasps* We will hide!
Me: The K9 will find you
Dabi: What's a K9?
Me: A police dog
Dabi: Doggie! It will sniff me out!
Me: Yes, indeed and I'll be on the beach in Bahamas!
Dabi: I will run away and run to the airport, get on a plane and give the attendant my ticket
Me: Well, the K9 will give the flight attendant his ticket too and follow you on the plane. He'll seat next to you and read a newspaper. Then mid-flight he will look at you suddenly! And keep looking at you till you land!
Dabi: (squeal-laughs) No!!! I will use my parachute and land in Bahamas
Me: No way! I'll move to Grenada!
Dabi: I'll swim after you!
Me: Wait, so you won't take Ruel along?
Dabi: Oh yes, I'll use Ruel as a raft and paddle to meet you
Me: *must have fallen over my seat laughing* That's just mean
Dabi: Ruel will have his turn too.
Me: Alright! Fair enough
Happy birthday, Dabi!
*Ruel is my other nephew and is Dabi's cousin and best friend.
Do you know any children? Don't they say the most ridiculous things? Lol!
4 Things No one tells you about a Pap Smear
Quick one, before we get carried away—you need to get a pap smear if you are over the age of 21 and sexually active. There are two words in your entire existence that should never appear next to your name on a form—“cancer” and “hell”. For the latter, i feel like heaven has forms, filed in cabinets with bright colored page makers and bahhh….back to pap smears (watch me resist digressing today).
Pap smears are very important, they help to examine the health of the cervix and to screen for cellular change that may occur from the presence of Human Papillomavirus (HPV), a nuisance of a virus, known to cause cervical cancer. Pap smears are very accurate and reduce cervical cancer rates and mortality by 80%.
Fun fact: the pap smear was discovered by a man with the most upbeat name i’ve ever heard—Georgios Papanikolaou.
Many people are bothered by the fact that a face and a pair of hands are in between their spread legs during a pap smear- this really is the least of my concerns, my main concerns are listed below:
Ike’s main concerns about pap smears
- That i look a little like Spider-Man in a pastel-colored ward gown. You have to scoot down to the end of the examination table, while balancing your feet in stirrups
- That even 5 hours after, you find yourself asking "What the heck just happened down there, seriously?" Feels like a parade just walked through! (ok I'm exaggerating....but I really am not *straight face*)
- That you begin to wonder if the gynecologist can read your sex life pattern from being down there *blink* somewhat like reading palms
- That you can’t see what the doctor is actually doing, could be taking a selfie with your….*overactive mind alert*.
I’m sure you don’t have these thoughts, not unless you have an overactive mind like me, in which case, we should meet and discuss the probability of these concerns. Lol.
4 tips on how to prepare and get through a pap smear
Glad tidings, Pap smears are very brief. Here are 4 tips on how to prepare and get through unscathed-relatively unscathed.
- Avoid sex, douching and spermicides the day before
- Get a wax or go in Lioness style, completely up to you
- Take a deep breath and relax; try not to think about the pokes and scrapes
- Say the word “Papanikolaou” about 20 times, you should be done on the 18th count!
Phew! Not so bad, huh? Goodluck with experiencing "the parade" feeling for the next 5 hours!
Seriously though, you need to get a pap smear, please!
Have you had your routine check up this year? Any experiences? Tell me you have at least one of these thoughts? Let’s discuss!