Talking Donkeys
Balaam and his donkey are the stars of one of the most alarming stories in the bible. God is patient. Oh my! Like, he is repeat-myself-to-you-a-million-times kinda patient. The kind of God, in my experience who will repeat himself to you until you act. 5 bucks says He had spoken to Balaam in many ways and sent many other people to tell him the very same message- his mum, his mother-in-law, his granny, his neighbor’s granny...
Balaam and his donkey are the stars of one of the most alarming stories in the bible. God is patient. Oh my! Like, he is repeat-myself-to-you-a-million-times kinda patient. The kind of God, in my experience who will repeat himself to you until you act. 5 bucks says He had spoken to Balaam in many ways and sent many other people to tell him the very same message- his mum, his mother-in-law, his granny, his neighbor’s granny, but Balaam wouldn’t listen. At wits end, his donkey speaks too! Donkey had had it. Everyone is telling you the same thing, Balaam. Get it together, bro.
Me, as Balaam
God has been talking to me about something. Two things in fact. The very same things, I’ve heard them at least from 8 people over the last 3 weeks. That’s alot. Of course, every time I hear it I break into an eerie knowing smile which creeps the person out and that pleases me somewhat. More importantly, for whatever reason, I’d hear the instruction, grunt my religious good-word-good-word Christian grunt and nod my Christian nod in agreement with the messenger and then do nothing! Lol. Not funny at all.
This is definitely the same way Balaam started—Instruction, grunt, glory hallelujah, good word, disobey. Instruction, grunt, amen, tongues, disobey, the cycle continues.
God keeps sending messengers. That’s who he is. He really wants you to get it.
The key is to obey before animals start speaking to you. Donkeys. Dogs. Pigeons. Cats. *Shivers* Of all the animals though, a cat would be the creepiest.
I have cats in my building. Blink.
I best obey.
Anything He has been telling you to do?
Mary’s Story: Script Flip
If you’ve ever been pregnant, or if you ever read that pamphlet your doctor gave you on that awkward day in front of your parents, you’d know that pregnancy is pretty much contingent on the Law of Cause and Effect. There’s just no other way. If perchance you are with child, then only you, God and Billy know what you have been up to. There was one woman who did not obey this law, however, her name was Mary...
If you’ve ever been pregnant, or if you ever read that pamphlet your doctor gave you on that awkward day in front of your parents, you’d know that pregnancy is pretty much contingent on the Law of Cause and Effect. There’s just no other way. If perchance you are with child, then only you, God and Billy know what you have been up to.
There was one woman who did not obey this law, however, her name was Mary. She was not about this law at all. She defied probably every obstetrics/gynecology principle ever known to medicine. Many have tried to claim this same scientific defiance as the reason for their own mysterious pregnancies but ahem, c’mon…there’s always a Billy in there somewhere.
Mary was a virgin, promised in marriage to a carpenter called Joe. There was no cause in that relationship, but she got a fine load of effect. She is visited by an angel who tells her she will have a son as a virgin.
Fast forward to present-day, everyone loves Mary; she was pure and chosen. She is always portrayed as this obedient, dove-like, scarfed woman with a modest look on her face in bible stories.
No one ever stops and asks,“Did Mary have set life-plans and goals when Angel Gabriel showed up?”
Newsflash, she actually had plans. She really did. She wasn't just lying around waiting for her uterus to house“the One” who Isaiah prophesied about. She had plans! Plans to marry Joe. Wedding plans; the dress; vendor drama: Titus, the photographer, Marina, the cake sculptor; would she carry a bouquet of orchids or lilies? She had plans to build a home. Five-bedrooms or four? Minimalist or strewn with rustic mediterranean sculptures?! She had plans to have kids. Twin girls, then twin boys? Maybe triplets? She probably knew their names in her head. She probably had career goals too. Start-up or 9 to 5?
Then comes Gabriel with a message from God—a plan from God. A very, very unusual plan. The ultimate flip-the-script-of-my-life plan! A meek and obedient virgin she was, but you must be kidding if you think she didn’t mull this new plan over in her mind. Her mind could very well have exploded with this ludicrous plan, thoughts colliding in her head...
“This plan may cause Joe to dump you like a hot potato,”
"Start up suspended for now."
"Do they sell maternity wedding dresses in Nazareth? *Gasp!* Will there even be a wedding?!"
“Your star-virgin reputation will surely be drenched in gutter goo now.”
“Amara and Dorcas will never believe”,
“Oh, yeah. Your first kid with Joe, who you dreamt about meeting all your life isn't going to be your first kid after all"
"Mae, you had carefully selected the name Michael-John-Scott-Afolarin as your baby’s first four names but that won't fly. His name is to be called Jesus.”
On a grander scale, another thought must have loomed, in the shadow of which the other thoughts would have paled:
"This is a suicide mission."
According to Jewish law, a woman who is pledged to a man, and then steps out on him, visits some Billy’s tent and gets pregnant will surely be stoned. Joe had every right to have her stoned.
She must have thought about these things. The Bible doesn't describe the internal struggle, still, I bet it was there. But she did it anyway. She humbly accepted God's will and suspended hers- a remarkable show of faith in the unseen.
She laid aside her plans to be used by God. Interestingly, she wasn’t only a portal through which the savior was born, but she followed through on Jesus. She raised him(she could have abandoned him under a bridge and gotten on with life), but she was there throughout his life, even at calvary, she was there at the cross. She didn’t abandon this divine project. She laid aside her life and plans to be used for the project of salvation.
I don’t know about you but I’ve had plans and preferences since I was 2 years old. 18 months, actually.
However, God has a plan too; he’s had it for ages—before the foundations of the earth were created, he's had a plan. He offers it to me all the time but I stare at my own highlighted, segmented, neat blueprints, and many, many times I say through my actions, “God, your blueprints make no sense to me. They aren’t even blue! I can’t. Sorry. Shoo, Gabriel!”
I have fixed my ways.
His plan is always unique…and a little weird. That's what makes it so intriguing and perfect. Don't try and understand it. If Mary and Joseph tried to understand, they’d have gone crazy. Trust in God’s plan; if it isn't weird, something is off. If it isn’t crazy; if it doesn’t defy the Law of Cause and Effect; if it doesn’t require faith; if it doesn’t make people mock and despise you, then bleh, clearly then it’s your plan. Ditch that, take on God’s plan. Trust in the unseen! You won't regret it.
How are your life plans coming along? Have you considered God's plans too?
Pages by Ike's Exciting News for July!
July is almost here! I feel like it's everyone's favorite month, secretly anyway.
70% of my relatives have their birthdays in July, which you can imagine means the joyful crashing sounds of piggy banks and the popping sounds of party streamers!
July is also hotdog month in some part of the world and nude recreation month somewhere...else. *blink*
In the spirit of all the fun, I thought we could have a little party of our own here!
About July
This month, PGI will be introducing the "Real Stories- Dating Like Crazy" series, featuring real-life stories, of real people telling their funny and not-so-funny stories, most importantly sharing with us what they've learnt on their dating journey!
Our sole intention is to learn from these stories, as you know by now that Pages by Ike encourages learning and sharing; learning from our experiences and the experiences of others and sharing with others, so they can benefit as well.
About The Contributors
Our contributors are everyday people, not pro-writers. The emotions are true and their stories are unfeigned.
It has taken a lot of courage and vulnerability for these people to share their experiences, so please honor them with your kind words and laugh as you deem fit but remember these are real people with scars to show.
I appreciate them! They are truly sterling!
How can you help?
You can help by reading and sharing your own experiences and/or knowledge on the matter.
I believe one person's experience enables others to make better decisions, so please don't forget to share! Someone might need that particular story!
Schedule
Running through July, there will be two Dating-Like-Crazy posts every week, one from the girls and another from the guys, starting this saturday!
I'm too excited! Can't wait, can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait for you, July!
Don't miss a story!
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