Which of these Mrs-Money-Bags Girl is She?
Money and love have long been married in a complex, symbiotic relationship for ages. Sometimes 'love' exists because of money and sometimes money ceases to exist because of love -- and the other person's spending habits. Lol. Money management disparities cause a lot of misunderstandings and disagreements between couples; and just when you didn't think this money matter couldn't get more entertaining, people, most times, get attracted to other people with contrasting spending habits. Hehe. Fun.
So, what's the best way to handle this baby? Recently, our reader and avid commenter, David, sent me an article, which covered a talk hosted by Harvard Law School last February. Present during this talk as panelists, were individuals who are experts in negotiation, lasting marriage and mediation and they were asked to give advice, provide solutions and share effective techniques to develop healthy relationships.
It was advised that couples open joint bank accounts because couples with joint accounts tend to bemore committed, "share money, time and responsibility".
Could this joint account idea be a middle ground for the financial management differences the couple might have? I wondered.
Of course, advice isn't one size fits all, because we all have different backgrounds, experiences and spending habits. Some people have intentions of owning a secret savings accounts, some love the idea of joint accounts, some just don't get it, some believe in spending one salary, some believe in spending till you drop and some believe in saving money till you drop.
As human beings, many of us have come up with ways around this money-love conundrum! Below is a list of 7 hypothetically real girls in different financial situations. I think when I was 8 years old, I wanted to be girl #2 and #7. I was almost #5 at some point! Have you ever been or do you know any of these girls? Which girl would you want to be? Which girl is your alter-ego?
Girl #1
Married. Full time job. Joint account with husband. No personal savings.
Girl #2
Married. Full time job. Joint account with husband. Secret personal savings account.
Girl #3
Married. No job. Monthly allowance from husband. No savings at all!
Girl #4
Married. Entrepreneur. Earnings spent on household. No savings. Husband's earnings used predominantly for savings and big purchases.
Girl #5
Single. Full time job. Joint investment and savings with boyfriend.
Girl #6
Single. No job. Manhunt.
Girl #7
Married. Concealed savings and property. And a crazy-believable poker face.
How to avoid a "*Bleep* Better Have My Money" incident
If you have seen Rihanna's bbhmm video, you'd conclude that she is a bit much. But then again, we already knew that. Moving on. You'd also conclude that you don't want to be owing her any money. Owing the Pied Piper as well, not such a good idea . Let's face it, when you owe people money and you are constantly taking a piss, someone is going to get missing!
No one likes to talk about debt, me inclusive. In fact, my heart rate just got a little faster. I'm one of those people who can't sleep after borrowing. Lol. I see the person in my dreams and whenever I think about going window shopping on Kate Spade's website. However, let's talk about it.
Most people aren't going to show up at your doorstep, kidnap a relative of yours and ask for ransom like Badgalriri or kidnap all your children like the Pied Piper. But then again, you never know. One day, the person might just see you at the mall, clearly out of equilibrium with your new, shiny red soles and your numerous shopping bags. She watches you, stalks you a little. You go down to the food court, where you get a seat and take up 4 chairs arranging your shopping bags. Then you have a nice hearty meal of Thai Khaw Na Pet, a little duck after a long, arduous shopping session. You briefly think about the money you owe her but you just push it aside. "Next pay check", you think. All along she's watching you. Trust me, by night fall, your mum will be missing. No joke. Do not owe people money for extended periods of time and think it's ok to travel on holiday or buy a new car or eat duck. Don't. Especially the duck!
So how do you avoid an incident where Rihanna or a similarly disgruntled debtor appears at your gate and kidnaps your loved one because you owe them money? Here's how:
- Before you borrow, evaluate and ask yourself if this purchase is an absolute necessity or just a craving. If it is absolutely essential to your livelihood; like borrowing for your kid's fees or dinner or some change to get to a job interview, that might be ok. Louboutins and Kate Spade purses don't make that list
- While borrowing, be appreciative and ensure your lender that you will pay back. Make sure there is a witness to whom you are accountable. A mutual friend would do. Or make a video of your promise. Gotta love the tech-age
- Set a return date. Make sure there is a chance of return! Never borrow if you have no intentions of returning. It's more noble to you ask for a cash gift than trying to trick your lender
- Once you get an inflow of money, pay up your debt. Immediately. Like seriously, here's the order, seriously (think about BadgalRiRi...)
1) Pay your tithe
2) Pay the debt (s)
- If you haven't gotten any money by the return date, make an appointment with your lender or call them, so they know you still have it on your mind. Don't act like you forgot!
If you don't remember anything at all from this post, remember this, it is better to give than to receive from RiRi and do NOT get into debt if you don't have to. Avoid it like a plague. It's not fair to hold on to other people's sources of income, even if they are wealthy and wouldn't miss the money, pay back immediately. It only puts you in a fabulous light.
xx
Vent below :)