Ibo Meets Yoruba Blog!
Congratulations to KacheeTee.com , the new blog written by my friend Kachi Adesina, based on her experiences with inter-tribal marriage!
Marriage requires a certain amount of courage, an inter-tribal marriage must require a triple dose and writing a blog about it must require you to have WAY too much guts. Welcome to blogging, gutsy-K! I can't wait to read all the posts!
Here's this cute video by Banky W and Chidinma, dedicated to all the inter-tribal and inter-racial relationships out there! All the best, KacheeTee! Love you to blogger-heaven and back.
The end of this video was so adorable. Lol. [Kachi, this is our new handshake!] Are you in an inter-tribal marriage or relationship? How fun is that!
How to Get Him to Propose (Straight from de Men dem)
Hey, hey??! How did your Valentine's weekend go? Don't be disappointed if he didn't propose yesterday; he might have it scheduled for another date or actually, not at all. While the latter option just felt like i shoved an aloe vera stalk in your mouth, it might not be entirely bad that he doesn't plan to propose at all. In fact, if he doesn't plan to and you know, you should joyfully pack your pretty little things and head for the mountains! #DontwasteYOURtime2016
Last week, i had fun asking a few guys about the best way to get a guy to propose. Of course, these are completely their own views on this situation. First, they all agreed that a man can not be forced to propose if he is "not ready"; mentally and financially, which i believe is fair enough. They couldn't quite provide the perfect guide to getting him to propose but they attempted to correct some misconceptions women have about their proposal prospects and then proceeded to give some advice....
......They mentioned a couple of things we girls might be doing that may delay that proposal! Here goes....
“Nagging about it.”
“The sex. If I get the sex, i might take my time with the proposal- Why buy the cow?”
“If she’s dispensable and I’m just passing time”
“Playing house. Washing my clothes, cleaning my apartment and cooking doesn’t mean we are married or that I will propose.”
“You being impatient and complaining about how your friends have kids.”
“Conversation about your eggs...like seriously?...”
Then they provided some advice.......
“Stop waiting for a proposal, it just makes your wait feel longer. Make your own plans. Be busy, focus on your career, go for a Master’s program, begin your own business and channel your passions. A proposal should be an add-on not the main purpose of your life.”
“If you know a guy isn’t going to propose and you know you are wasting your time, you should leave”
“Wait until i’m ready....it might be 7 years”
“Initiate a Long Distance Relationship. He might realize he doesn’t want you far away. Who knows, he just might propose.....or not!”
“Do not be dispensible! Let him understand how valuable you are.”
“Involve Jesus! LoL!”
“Score Goal (get pregnant), he still might not marry you though. Lol! Ok, seriously, don’t get pregnant! *Straight face*”
“Develop yourself. Develop your inner beauty.”
“DO NOT NAG ABOUT IT”
Alright, so does this mean we girls are sentenced to being quiet about our concerns about growing old and our aging eggs and cannot talk about marriage at all with bae? Of course not! I believe at some point in the relationship the discussion about marriage should come up. It's important to know how serious this relationship is or what its prospects are. You deserve to know, don't be scared. Ask questions!
We girls get terrified of asking because we think he will run away. Let him run, it'll save you time. Ask him questions like; "What are views on marriage?", "Where do you see this relationship in 5 years?", "What do you want from me on the long term?" This should be a tear-free, matter-of-fact conversation; you shouldn't be trying to manipulate him, you should be trying to get information with which you will make your decisions. Of course, as a woman your intuition should kick in and you should be able to tell when a guy isn't particularly serious. If he isn't, you'll know.... we always know. In that case, as my Strategic Management teacher once said, "Sometimes, the best strategy to making a profit is the Exit Strategy." You might have to pull the plug on that relationship, if you know its going nowhere; from that move *deep breath*, full steam ahead and greater possibilities!
#DontwasteYOURtime2016
Thanks to all my interviewees! We have kept them anonymous-ish, much love and hugs for the advice, guys!
What are your thoughts? Do you think these really delay the proposal? What do you think about having the prospects-conversation? What are your experiences? Are men weird? Which is your favorite ring? Lol!
P.s: Ahem..Men, those rings up there can be found here, here and here.. just saying!
PGI's November Girl: Laju
One toasty warm Saturday afternoon in Lagos and by contrast a windy fall day in Madison, i had the awesome pleasure of chatting with the beautiful and talented Utseoritselaju Omagbitse Joanne (popularly known as Laju) via FaceTime. We have no photos from this event because we both were in Saturday-chill-mode. Pardon us.
Laju is a successful Lagos-based artist who has been sketching and painting for as long as she can remember. Last September, she had her first art exhibition themed: "Woman in Bloom" along with other artists who were involved in this event, which sought to contribute to the discussion on the process of self-actualization for the woman in a typically patriarchal society. It's wonderful knowing people who use their talent and passion to develop and improve their community. It's what we all strive to do. It's what we are all made for.
Let's meet Laju!
Hey, Laju! What's "Laju" short for and what does it mean?
Utseoritselaju which means the work of the Lord is too great
Where are you from?
Warri, Delta State, Nigeria
What is your morning app sequence?
Hmm… Instagram, WhatsApp or iMessage…. Instagram…again.. *laughs*
What do you do?
I'm a banker with Heritage Bank
Describe your art?
My art is mostly acrylics on canvas. I started with charcoal but then again, i love color! Right now though, i paint acrylics on canvas.
Acrylic paintings dry fast and that works for me. Oil paint is beautiful but I'm not that patient. *laughs* I'm thinking about working with charcoal and acrylics.
I work with female subjects, i find them easy to relate to and for now, African females because the color of our skin is just beautiful in real life and on canvas!
How and when did you start painting?
I actually started very young. I remember in primary school, I’d draw match-stick people, then they evolved into box-like images. I was always fascinated by the cartoon images I saw on TV, and wondered why I couldn’t make my drawings look like the cartoons, so i'd trace directly from the TV or from Archie comic books. That really helped. And of course, my art teacher in college, class mates and even family recognized my talent and kept urging me to do better. Over time, I’ve nurtured this skill and improved on my style and techniques
Most interesting muse?
I’d say female mannequins. I fell in love with them recently; the fragility of their posture amazes me. They've opened my mind up to a thousand ideas. Hopefully you’ll get to see what I come up with in my future artworks
What does your creative work space look like?
*laughs* That’s funny because my work space is my bed and the floor of my room…. That’s where the magic happens. Haha. To answer your question, Newpapers on the floor of my bedroom.
What do you do when you have a creative block?
I just stay away from trying to paint or sketch, because the more I try, the more I end up making everything worse…which is deeply depressing, although, sometimes I go online and view thousands of images related to the ideas I had in my head, to come up with something unique. *laughs*. Apart from these two, I just lay in my bed and stare at my ceiling.
But on a more serious note though , what works most times is staying away completely, it helps me cool off and also gives me a different perspective on my work
Art-crushing on this John Madu painting
What are your creative work must-haves?
An old piece of cloth to clean my brushes, my iPad/phone to refer to my saved ideas or the internet for clarification (when I get stuck)
Longest & Shortest time taken to complete a work
Longest, 1 month; Shortest, 4 hours
I am in love with this sketch
Default nail polish color
I usually don’t paint my nails *covers face* but if i had to choose, nude or purple
Who is(are) your greatest support system?
Family and close friends. They make me believe in myself
What song describes you at 5.30am?
Don’t wake me up by Chris Brown
I'm more of a 6am person
Quirkiest thing about you?
I like to sleep with the lights on. When I wake up in the middle of the night and there isn't power, I turn on the flashlight of my phone and fall asleep
Favorite cake flavor?
Red velvet
Favorite artist
Joseph Eze, Sara Golish, Nelson Makamo
Most frequent Lagos-traffic purchase?
Plantain chips, Super Yogo! *laughs*
Most random Lagos-traffic purchase?
A paint brush which wasn't really made for art but I used it anyway!
Do you love Lagos?
Yes! I love the people, they are lively and it's modern
What would you say to anyone considering painting your form of art?
Go for it!
*************
Thank you, Laju, for being our first PGI Girl! Love you Loads!
Get your bespoke acrylics on canvas paintings by Laju this Christmas!
Email: laluch.art@gmail.com
Phone: +2348170789192
Instagram: @laluch_
A shot from the September "Woman in Bloom" exhibition
Become a Blogger in 5 minutes!
This post took me about 5 minutes to read (and 2 weeks to write, lol), hence the title. I need to take out time to appreciate bloggers out there. They work really hard to ensure they provide the best quality for their readers , spend a lot of time getting posts together and usually don't go to bed until they know they got it right, only then, do they permit themselves to plop down on their with a smile on their faces because they know they have made someone's day. So, here's to bloggers out there!
I have been blogging for about one year now, actually 11 months. I seem to have fallen in love with it. From sourcing for a creative urge to sitting down in my space to build and design; watching responses and blog statistics; finding ways to be better; encouraging new and fellow bloggers; posting; interacting with all my great readers; giggling with people who send me private messages. I love it all and i'd be crazy not to encourage others to blog. Some people say it's therapeutic- the writing bit. I don't know about that, maybe, but I do know it's fun and challenging! Here are a few things i have learnt over the last 11 months both first-hand and second-hand, which have helped me on this super-exciting journey. Enjoy!
Set your vision and goals
A question i had to answer at some point on this journey was; what do you hope to achieve from blogging? My honest answer was and still is to provide a space where we all can be life/relationship hackers, unfazed by life's curve balls, which it throws at us all the time. Pagesbyike was created on that vision and serves as resource that draws from science, God, experiences and real people to provide its community with hacks! Understand what your vision is and run with it. Set goals to achieve this vision, then plan.....
Map out a blog plan
Something bloggers might struggle with is the consistency of putting up posts. We have other responsibilities that require our attention, of course and your readers completely understand....not! Lol! If they love what you write, they probably want it everyday, every hour even! Drawing up a blog plan to work with and setting deadlines, makes blogging much more tangible and manageable. I have learnt to always plan ahead, 3 months ahead. Having an idea of what you'd like to blog about ahead of time, takes out the initial nerve wreaking frazzle of the "What do i post?!!!" situation.
Choose your subject matter
Write what you know but also test the waters. There's so much stuff to write on. Choose something that you are absolutely passionate about, not merely just interested in. I am super-passionate about making better life decisions and continuous self-improvement but i am interested in food recipes. I would gladly read food recipes off another blogger but i might not last a week blogging about recipes. Know you passions and differentiate them from your interests.
Don't be obsessed with statistics
O, the statistics!! I remember my first month writing, i think I was my only reader, lol and of course Ed. I'd check the blog metrics and there'd be only two counts for visitors. Needless to say, it was quite discouraging but Ed would always say "Just write", I don't think there's anything more inspiring than those two words. It outweighs all the technicality and stats and helps to focus on the right thing; passion.
Know your audience
It's helpful to know the demographics of your target audience. Some blogging platforms provide the geographical locations of your readers (blogger, squarespace). Blogger provides a very comprehensive geo-location analysis of your audience. When we were on blogger, sometimes, i'd see readers in Russia, Senegal or Alaska! It was terribly exciting and it helped me understand that i had to be more dynamic with my writing. Knowing your audience helps you tailor your posts to their needs and interests.
Help me tailor yours, send me a message here!
Respond to all comments
From my statistics, i can tell you that less than 10% of readers comment. If some readers from that very small percentage choose to comment, honor their comments with a response. Also, as a blogger, make it a habit to comment on other blogs. My friend says its like a sowing a seed, it will eventually come back to you too. Another reason is that your comment encourages those bloggers and it may also direct traffic to your blog if you leave an interesting comment.
Do give aways!
Giveaways are a great way to engage your audience. True, there may be people who just stop by for the freebies but hey, haven't we all. No judgement. My first giveaway is coming up soon! Watch out for that...christmas might be coming a little early this year!
Thank you, to all those who comment ever so frequently!
xx
What is your favorite blog? Are you thinking about starting a blog? Are you a new blogger? What are your main challenges? How long did it take you to read this post?
How to avoid a "*Bleep* Better Have My Money" incident
If you have seen Rihanna's bbhmm video, you'd conclude that she is a bit much. But then again, we already knew that. Moving on. You'd also conclude that you don't want to be owing her any money. Owing the Pied Piper as well, not such a good idea . Let's face it, when you owe people money and you are constantly taking a piss, someone is going to get missing!
No one likes to talk about debt, me inclusive. In fact, my heart rate just got a little faster. I'm one of those people who can't sleep after borrowing. Lol. I see the person in my dreams and whenever I think about going window shopping on Kate Spade's website. However, let's talk about it.
Most people aren't going to show up at your doorstep, kidnap a relative of yours and ask for ransom like Badgalriri or kidnap all your children like the Pied Piper. But then again, you never know. One day, the person might just see you at the mall, clearly out of equilibrium with your new, shiny red soles and your numerous shopping bags. She watches you, stalks you a little. You go down to the food court, where you get a seat and take up 4 chairs arranging your shopping bags. Then you have a nice hearty meal of Thai Khaw Na Pet, a little duck after a long, arduous shopping session. You briefly think about the money you owe her but you just push it aside. "Next pay check", you think. All along she's watching you. Trust me, by night fall, your mum will be missing. No joke. Do not owe people money for extended periods of time and think it's ok to travel on holiday or buy a new car or eat duck. Don't. Especially the duck!
So how do you avoid an incident where Rihanna or a similarly disgruntled debtor appears at your gate and kidnaps your loved one because you owe them money? Here's how:
- Before you borrow, evaluate and ask yourself if this purchase is an absolute necessity or just a craving. If it is absolutely essential to your livelihood; like borrowing for your kid's fees or dinner or some change to get to a job interview, that might be ok. Louboutins and Kate Spade purses don't make that list
- While borrowing, be appreciative and ensure your lender that you will pay back. Make sure there is a witness to whom you are accountable. A mutual friend would do. Or make a video of your promise. Gotta love the tech-age
- Set a return date. Make sure there is a chance of return! Never borrow if you have no intentions of returning. It's more noble to you ask for a cash gift than trying to trick your lender
- Once you get an inflow of money, pay up your debt. Immediately. Like seriously, here's the order, seriously (think about BadgalRiRi...)
1) Pay your tithe
2) Pay the debt (s)
- If you haven't gotten any money by the return date, make an appointment with your lender or call them, so they know you still have it on your mind. Don't act like you forgot!
If you don't remember anything at all from this post, remember this, it is better to give than to receive from RiRi and do NOT get into debt if you don't have to. Avoid it like a plague. It's not fair to hold on to other people's sources of income, even if they are wealthy and wouldn't miss the money, pay back immediately. It only puts you in a fabulous light.
xx
Vent below :)