How to Get Him to Propose (Straight from de Men dem)
Hey, hey??! How did your Valentine's weekend go? Don't be disappointed if he didn't propose yesterday; he might have it scheduled for another date or actually, not at all. While the latter option just felt like i shoved an aloe vera stalk in your mouth, it might not be entirely bad that he doesn't plan to propose at all. In fact, if he doesn't plan to and you know, you should joyfully pack your pretty little things and head for the mountains! #DontwasteYOURtime2016
Last week, i had fun asking a few guys about the best way to get a guy to propose. Of course, these are completely their own views on this situation. First, they all agreed that a man can not be forced to propose if he is "not ready"; mentally and financially, which i believe is fair enough. They couldn't quite provide the perfect guide to getting him to propose but they attempted to correct some misconceptions women have about their proposal prospects and then proceeded to give some advice....
......They mentioned a couple of things we girls might be doing that may delay that proposal! Here goes....
“Nagging about it.”
“The sex. If I get the sex, i might take my time with the proposal- Why buy the cow?”
“If she’s dispensable and I’m just passing time”
“Playing house. Washing my clothes, cleaning my apartment and cooking doesn’t mean we are married or that I will propose.”
“You being impatient and complaining about how your friends have kids.”
“Conversation about your eggs...like seriously?...”
Then they provided some advice.......
“Stop waiting for a proposal, it just makes your wait feel longer. Make your own plans. Be busy, focus on your career, go for a Master’s program, begin your own business and channel your passions. A proposal should be an add-on not the main purpose of your life.”
“If you know a guy isn’t going to propose and you know you are wasting your time, you should leave”
“Wait until i’m ready....it might be 7 years”
“Initiate a Long Distance Relationship. He might realize he doesn’t want you far away. Who knows, he just might propose.....or not!”
“Do not be dispensible! Let him understand how valuable you are.”
“Involve Jesus! LoL!”
“Score Goal (get pregnant), he still might not marry you though. Lol! Ok, seriously, don’t get pregnant! *Straight face*”
“Develop yourself. Develop your inner beauty.”
“DO NOT NAG ABOUT IT”
Alright, so does this mean we girls are sentenced to being quiet about our concerns about growing old and our aging eggs and cannot talk about marriage at all with bae? Of course not! I believe at some point in the relationship the discussion about marriage should come up. It's important to know how serious this relationship is or what its prospects are. You deserve to know, don't be scared. Ask questions!
We girls get terrified of asking because we think he will run away. Let him run, it'll save you time. Ask him questions like; "What are views on marriage?", "Where do you see this relationship in 5 years?", "What do you want from me on the long term?" This should be a tear-free, matter-of-fact conversation; you shouldn't be trying to manipulate him, you should be trying to get information with which you will make your decisions. Of course, as a woman your intuition should kick in and you should be able to tell when a guy isn't particularly serious. If he isn't, you'll know.... we always know. In that case, as my Strategic Management teacher once said, "Sometimes, the best strategy to making a profit is the Exit Strategy." You might have to pull the plug on that relationship, if you know its going nowhere; from that move *deep breath*, full steam ahead and greater possibilities!
#DontwasteYOURtime2016
Thanks to all my interviewees! We have kept them anonymous-ish, much love and hugs for the advice, guys!
What are your thoughts? Do you think these really delay the proposal? What do you think about having the prospects-conversation? What are your experiences? Are men weird? Which is your favorite ring? Lol!
P.s: Ahem..Men, those rings up there can be found here, here and here.. just saying!
Proposal- And she said 'No'
So you are in a restaurant, having dinner with him and the waiter has brought in dessert. You are mildly distracted by a message on your phone. In a moment, your boyfriend is on his knees with an open ring box.
You freeze, other customers are smiling, some are applauding, the waiter is beaming, (probably because he's up for a big tip after you say "Yes".) You look at him(your bf, not the waiter), as in, really look at him....it just doesn't feel right AT ALL. You don't see yourself with him in 50 years or even in 7 months. The answer is a definite "No", but how do you say "No" with all these people watching?
Whoever heard of the girl who said "No?!!!"
Fear not. We have. Well, we are about to; a study shows 1 in every 4 women turn down a marriage proposal. Less than 25% of those women end up regretting that decision. I guess the other 75% were right on the money when they said "No can do, bro."
The study reports that the women just didn't think it felt right; the proposal, the guy...everything. The famous feminine intuition kicked in! These girls were able to see past the unexpected proposal with the glitz, glam and serenading waiter; the glimmering ring and the crowd and say "No."
It's admirable making such a solid decision under so much pressure, understanding that the course of your life hangs on to whether you are "too nice to say No" or "too shy to say Nah-ahn in front of a crowd".
To be honest though, it's awkward saying "No" in public; the guy would probably be traumatized eternally. I guess you could say "Maybe", then a "No" later. Right?
Could you ever say "No" in public to a proposal?