The Sunny Side (of your Break)-up
I'm not sure there is anything more depressing and at the same time exhilarating than a breakup. The latter, of course is not immediately apparent or realized.
My first breakup felt like I got pushed off the edge of a tower and landed on my face. Yes, it hurt, probably even more than this metaphorical face-land. Of course, it only hurt that much because he broke up with me, so I definitely had more vested in the relationship that he had. Argh. Face-land.
During that time nothing would have made me happier than getting back into the relationship, which was silly. The relationship clearly wasn't working out, was less than enjoyable in the grand scheme of things and was of an inferior quality, which I seemed to be content with; crazy thing is i seemed to want back in! It's like being set free from a dilapidated, crummy prison and they toss you out with your belongings and then you kind of sit in front of the prison, sobbing and begging to be let back in. Tsk.
If you think about it though, a breakup really is a blessing! It just means that wasn't the right person or that wasn't the right time to be in the relationship. A break up is an opportunity provided to meet the real person for you(1); You also get a chance to improve yourself before you meet this mystery 'next person'(2); You get to be single again(3). Don't let all the single people have all the fun. Live. Live like there is no tomorrow because there IS a tomorrow and it's full of plans, pretending to be a grown up and an occasional diaper slip*. Enjoy it, book a ticket somewhere, climb a wall or two, stay out late or go out early.
You see, breakups are not so bad, apart from the initial face-land....and the crying....and the wailing in front of the hypothetical prison; other than those, it actually sets you up for a bright future with a turnt-up, better version of yourself, who has completely experienced all that being single has to offer, ready to gallop into the sunset, with the right person!
*A situation where you step on a used diaper and subsequently fall face-first into it.
Other breakup posts: Breakup on a budget, the fishes in the sea after the breakup and reasons we remain in bad relationships! Enjoy!
Channel your Inner Freak!
As a retired control freak, I can safely say that the day I retired was probably the best day of my life. Suddenly, i felt less responsible for other peoples’ errors (which were not even my business in the first place); I was at peace and my opinions were safely back in their home where they belonged, behind my shut mouth!
I loved to control events, decisions and situations. I must have mentally ripped the serenity prayer in to shreds a million times like, "What are these ones talking about?!" I remember once trying to will a crying baby silent with a stare on a 6-hour flight. I wasn't very successful. Lol.
Most ambitious of all, i tried to control God and how he spoke to me; “Please speak to me, God, but not in a loud voice or in any scary appearance. Let it be mellow. Also, i’d prefer if i’m not alone or in the dark. NO burning bushes or angels appearing out of thin air hollering “Fear not”, when they know i’d be terrified!”
Then one day, I stopped. I figured it was becoming uncontrollable, this need for control, which was one more thing out of wack. How could a control-freak have an uncontrollable vice? A vice that surfaced frequently, often suddenly and unbridled by any restraints and often resulted in frustrations because the situations were beyond my control and not my jurisdiction anyway! So I decided to step back, examine and let go. Best. Decision. Ever.
Being a control freak impacts your relationships, your faith, your business, your health, your sleep, your mood, your sleep; it's just an all round disaster. I know i said 'sleep' twice.
The most important type of control- the one we should all be scampering to acquire, really is self-control. My 'Self' just gave me the side eye because it knows it's true. Self is the most untamed entity in all existence and trying to control it is another script entirely. Imagine developing the will-power-muscle not to retort when someone is being less reasonable; not hitting snooze when the alarm goes off; walking away from that chocolate fountain; not chipping in on gossip; not overspending; running an extra mile; eating healthy; not being glued to your phone all day. Self-control is difficult but it's really what we should be imbibing instead of trying to take over the world. It's the path to mastering your soul, spirit, intellect, will, emotions, conscience, body, decisions; and who doesn't want that?!
So now, i am a self-control freak, channeling all that energy within, much to the delight of a thousand babies air-borne and to the annoyance of my 'Self'. Yeah, whatever, Self.
Have you any control freak experiences? Are you retired or still in play?
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