How to Get her to be On time for your Date
It's the weekend. Duh-dum! Date night! Well, maybe, if she's ready by the time you get in.
Bet you triple-clicked on the link because you are tired of seeing your girlfriend or wife wobbling around in her heels, looking for her lipstick and keys and perfume, while you fume with your back against the door post, with that “You can’t be serious” look and the “We are going to be late…again” grunt.
Ok, first, here are some things you should know as a man about how we get ready; a LOT goes into our preparation for outings. A lot! I, personally take a few moments to get ready and by “few”, I mean “not few”.
It takes us sometime to get our things together and the time we take varies in direct proportion to the amount of make-up we use.
Formula 1:
Time ∝ Amount of Make up used
If you got attracted to a 10-over-10 face-contoured, brow-perfect, tummy-trained queen, then that's exactly what you signed up for! It’s a great idea to factor that in, whenever you go on dates with her, instead of fuming by the doorpost. You do want her to remain the girl you fell in love with right? A-ha, see!
The time we take also depends on if we know what we plan to wear already.
Formula 2:
Time ∝ What-to-wear conundrum
One great way to urge her to be on time would be to get her to see value in early preparations. I learnt to see the value in being ready on time the hard way; I'd be in a hurry or stressed out and I'd forget to wear lipstick on lined lips! One day, I went out with one penciled-in eye brow! Lol! That's a secret, don't utter that anywhere.
No one had to spell "value early preparations" out for me with my astonishing brows. Your girlfriend probably doesn't forget her brows, but anyway, the point is, the more time she has to get ready, the better. I've consciously started planning my prep-time, so that I have enough time to try on at least two outfits, draw my brows, paint my nails even, and it's such a relief!
Below are the 5 Golden rules that may help to get her ready, so you don't get into the cinema 45 minutes into the movie:
Golden rule 1: Use wiser sentence structures
Don’t tell her the time of the movie (or appointment) but tell her the time you need to leave. Instead of “We have reservations for 8pm”, try, “We have to leave at 6.45pm to be on time."
Golden rule 2: Ditch the grunt and scowl
Don’t nag her and utter the words,"You are wasting my time." It's not progressive or helpful in anyway.
Golden rule 3: Motivate her
If she is not an early bird and you have an early appointment, getting her coffee or tea or breakfast in bed might really help (grin). If you are picking her up for a date, you should call her about your location, time and status updates. Communication is completely necessary.
Golden rule 4: Inspire by example
A relationship is an improvement platform, where both partners encourage each other to be better people and essentially rub off on each other, but only rub on the good stuff. Don't start eating toe-clippings just because your girlfriend does it.
Anyway, if she has previously suggested that you improve some aspects of your life this might be a great time to improve! You could trade too! You could say, "Why don't we work on these areas of ourselves: I'll improve in this area, while you improve your time management?"
Note: This is not a conditional agreement. It's not a "I'll-change-if-you-change" type of agreement, it's more of a collaborative effort to make each other better.
Golden rule 5: Send her this post!
Hey, what are your thoughts? I'd love to know! Do you ever get stressed because you are in a hurry? Ever forgotten to wear your other false lash in the frenzy? Men, which is your favorite rule? Girls post up soon!
Related posts: My worst date experience ever; Your first date kit (Men); Dating on referral!
How to Give CPR to a Dead Relationship
A few weeks ago, Mhis Kemi O, a reader of ours, requested I write a post on "giving CPR" to dead relationships. Lol. Perfect title. This post is generic enough to be applied to romantic relationships, friendships and even our intense love affair with Jesus, our Lord-Home-boy. I really hope it helps.
Relationship flames go from fiery red to uncertain ember glows for various reasons; busy schedules, the distraction of new interests, loss or strain of communication. It could also be caused by misunderstandings or grudges. Whatever it is, sometimes, we come to a place where we truly miss our friend and the old times; the sparkle and laughter and we want it back!
The resuscitation and survival of relationships is to a large extent, hinged on communication. In essence, communication is the first thing to be fixed when giving CPR to a dead relationship. God bless social media and silicon valley, which have made it a little too easy to communicate these days. All you have to do is pick up the phone, slide into his/her DM or tweet at your friend or make a plain ol' call.
However, it’s understandable that the first step to resuscitation is usually the hardest. Just do what I do; type a message and walk away from your phone. If a response comes, great! Otherwise, ‘not great’, we’ll have to find an alternate way to get across.
Messages like “We need to talk” or “Call me when you can”, may cause the person to get anxious or defensive, considering you’ve been MIA for a while. Can you blame them, really?
This might be a better approach to a message, “Hi, *insert name*, i hope you are well. You’ve been on my mind for a while now, please let’s catch up soon.” And then follow up with an actual “catch up soon” act such as a call or a lunch date.**
Listed below are five action-points to consider while reactivating your relationship:
1. Show genuine interest
Finally you have a set date to hang out once again as friends! You both sit down and begin to catch up, next thing, your phone lights up on the table. "K-daddy retweeted your tweet". You pick up your phone and zone out and forget your friend exists (again). Show genuine interest in your friend (or partner). Give them the gift of your attention.
2. Bribe(grin)
A little gift goes a long way. It doesn't have to be a yacht, just something of value and that rings true that you remember their interests and favorite things.
3. Talk about the death of the relationship
This isn't necessarily confrontation. Discuss what went wrong and what can be done better this time around. If there's any need for forgiveness then do it on the spot!
4. Do throw-backs
Remember the good times! You and this friend must have had a few good times and laughs, so bring them back to the present. Talk about your adventures, your epic failures, your shared interests and joy-evoking moments you've shared.
5. Celebrate the resurrection
I don't know about you but anything that comes back alive to a functional, active existence is a bit of a big deal and deserves a toast!
Go out together and celebrate. If it’s your thing, praise your newly burnished relationship on social media.
It helps if your resurrecting-intents are reciprocated. I must say though, that some relationships are worth preserving or reviving and others, not so much.
I guess you have to figure out if you should revive the relationship, you know what they say about sleeping dogs lying and all. Some sleeping dog-relationships should be tucked in with a pillow and blanket and paralyzed for good.
**If it’s a spouse, a weekend away does wonders!
Do you have any Dead relationship CPR-giving tips or experience? Please share below with us and Mhis Kemi O! Thanks!