Crop-Top-o-phobia: The Fear of crop tops
Last Summer, I tried wearing crop-tops for the first time and rightly so because we were in Vegas, baby! And it was hot, baby. *Straight face* Very hot. They should have been handing out crop-tops at the airport!
Anyway, I suggested in this post that the best way to get over the dread of crop-tops is to wear it with high-waist bottoms. I still stand by that suggestion. If you are thinking about baring some tummy but are a little hesitant, try a high-waist bottom, it works wonders for your confidence and as I advised someone on Twitter, also works wonders for preventing mosquitoes from feasting on your bare midriff, assuming you live in the tropics!
Although, I think the whole point of crops is to expose your glistening, toned midriff, baby steps are required for some of us.
How to wear a crop successfully
Get rid of added sugars and limit your carb intake. Yes, you can! I just drank a latte without adding any sugar. Was it gross? Yes, indeed! Was it a decision that would help me get an even midriff and be rid of my bashfulness? Oh, yes indeed! Studies show that reducing your sugar intake gets rid of tummy fat more effectively than tummy exercises! Who knew?!
Also, switching your meal proportions around help a great deal. Let your proteins and vegetables make up at least two-thirds of your meal, and carbs, a little less than a third; which implies that my edikaikong and assorted meats should be more than my Garri/Eba.
Hey, ever tried wearing a crop-top? Do you love it or does it make you feel like food for the 'quitoes? How do you maintain a toned core? Have you ever tried cutting sugar out of your diet?
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ECO102: The Opportunity Cost of Cheating
Definition: Opportunity Cost (Economics)
The loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.
Example 1: If one body-con dress from Zara costs $99 and a pair of Badgley Mishka pumps costs $268. What is the opportunity cost of choosing the pumps over 3 Zara dresses in three different colors,if a sales promotion is on for the dresses: buy one get one 40% off?
Answer: *bored face*I don't care, I intend to buy them all and also the chandelier earrings in the corner.
Opportunity cost (OC) was a concept lost on me in Economics class. I intended to be so rich, that I’d have no need for such troublesome math issues. Why would I want to give up one thing for another, when I could conveniently (or inconveniently) have both? I am of the school of thought, which abides by the rule of eating your moist and glorious cake and having it. Who wouldn't want to rip up a priority list and play Candy Crush Saga in an Economics class, when you know all those concepts don't concern you at all?!
However, that isn’t how reality works *sad face*. We have to make choices- the best ones, while weighing options continuously, to obtain optimum satisfaction and the best use of our resources. And not just financial resources but also the resources of time, energy, physical and mental acuity-anything that can be converted into productivity and profit.
Therefore, the concept of opportunity cost can also be applied to most life-decisions we make, and not just for pecuniary causes. For example, there is an opportunity cost for you reading this post, you could easily spend your time doing something else**. There is an opportunity cost for having a quarrel with your spouse or partner, or keeping a grudge; you guys could very well be making out on a raft, while sipping pineapple cocktails in between. And of course, there is the opportunity cost of cheating. When a person chooses to be unfaithful, are the benefits forgone, considered? What potential gain is lost when the alternative of infidelity is chosen? What are they missing out on, by nibbling illegal, glorious cakes in shrouded, dark, air-conditioned hotel rooms?
Before we answer those questions, let's first figure out, why people cheat. Studies show that women cheat as a result of emotional dissatisfaction with their partners while men cheat as a result of sexual dissatisfaction or in search of “variety". Summary, a lot of dissatisfied parties and a need for “variety”!
For some clarity, I will invite you to go back with me to the Stone Age, to gain some understanding to why science believes people cheat and why men seek variety *shrug*.
Men have an inherent biological drive to produce as many offspring as possible. Back then, a man would tend to holler from cave to cave in an attempt to spread his gene pool. Now, at that time the best strategy they could come up with, albeit crude, was to impregnate as many post-puberty women as possible. Women weren't into the monogamous scene either because they received favors from their sexual partners and the fathers of their children and the more wallets flipped open for child support, the better. For the women, their decisions were based on the base-criteria of food and protection, for the men, well, anyone who could give birth to a child worked. For optimal supply of their needs, women and men ran loose on the streets, shopping for as many partners as possible! Staying with one man couldn't produce the highest social responsibility output, neither could staying with one woman produce the highest offspring output!
So it was thus:
Homo Erectus: *grunts and points to self*: Many. Baby. Me
She Erectus: *grunts*: Protect. Food. Me want chicken with side of sweetcorn.
Homo Erectus:*points to woman*: Ok. Boobs. Mine.
She Erectus *points to 6 other men*: Also. Them
Homo Erectus:*points to a group of women*: More. Boobs. Mine. Again. Me have many baby!
She Erectus: Me. Many. Food. And Lion. Not eat me.
It was dysfunctional but simple, men could have multiple partners, women could have multiple partners.
It’s not the same today, as you would notice. These days, Homo Sapiens*** rule the streets.
Shouldn’t we, as Homo Sapiens, who are rumored to have the bigger brains and more comely bone structures and let’s admit it, better looking facial features than the cave men, act the part? Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus worked with basic biological urges, that was their excuse. What's the Homo Sapiens excuse? Habilis and Erectus weren't aware of the concept of opportunity cost (and probably hygiene as well) but we are and are able to make better decisions!
Example 2: What is the opportunity cost of cheating on your significant other(S.O) with the Homo Erectus down the street?
Answer:
1. You have more spending-money
Affairs are expensive and if not uncomfortably expensive, they still impact resources. Now, many people don't mind spending a little side cash here and there for a "good time" and there have been correlations between successful people and a propensity for infidelity (because they can afford it). The interesting specimen though are the middle-class or lower middle-class who cheat! The value forgone when taking her to that hotel or on that 19 hour trip, could be put to better use. Bottom line, you have more cash to go around!
2. You have more energy to expend
Cheating requires so much physical and mental energy. You have to come up with an infallible do-not-get-caught strategy; you have to use your toe-pinkie print as the pass-code to your phone; you have to bribe your driver incessantly to cover your tracks-your driver, who has now bought a pretty flat in the city from your generosity; you have to look your kids in the eyes and ensure they don’t sense your dishonesty and unfaithfulness. It’s just so much work- and the lies-those just keep morphing and multiplying. Conserve your energy, save the planet!
3. You get to visit the same ice-cream shop with 200 flavors to choose from (creative variety)
We established that men cheat sometimes because they seek variety. Here's something you don't hear everyday: Monogamy requires creativity. Having sex with the same person for years, definitely requires that you do some homework to spice things up regularly. If your sex life is boring, it's an opportunity to make it work for the both of you. It's like going to your favorite ice cream shop and having >150 flavors to choose from! No need to cross the street to the other store, when you've been going here for ages and this one knows what you need before you even ask. It gets better, you don't have to pay a dime.
4. You get a life-long bestie and someone to share dentures with
Prudent people don't cheat. It might be all bat-swinging and triathlons now but one day you will grow old and "who's gonna have your back when it's all gone?" *in Shaggy's voice* Stay faithful and play the denture game.
5. Heart peace and an unlocked phone
Imagine a life where your heart doesn't climb into your mouth whenever your wife's fingers graze your phone or a moment when your child is playing a game on your phone and a sext doesn't mistakenly come in. Imagine everything was simpler and you could sleep with both eyes closed, that's what you get when you stay faithful!
6. Productivity and becoming the next Zuckerberg
Less time eating moist, glorious cake, means more time to focus and spend on more useful things, like starting a business or pursuing a dream you've always wanted to. Use your time well!
7. You are able to repair and rebuild as a team
Women, cheating because you aren't emotionally satisfied or because your S.O is broke is probably not your better alternative. Emotions, for one, are so over-rated. There are millions of emotions that come with your side-man and you get the whole package, not just the squishy love bit. Finding ways to fix the emotional deficit in your relationship is less of a hustle and at the end you get the satisfaction of saying, "Hey, we fixed that!"
8. The avoidance of having children with the same proclivity for cheating
It's one thing to want loads of kids, it's another thing to ensure that they are raised with care and sufficient emotional, spiritual and financial support. What Habilis and Erectus didn't know was that it was not about quantity, it was about quality. The cohesive effort of raising wonderful kids with your S.O should be priority-kids who turn out less like the cavemen. Like I asked in this post, how do you prevent your child from being lynched by a group of 17 girls for cheating on them? I guess here's an answer to that: live by example, honor your marital bed and esteem honesty.
*** Word on the Science-streets is that Homo Sapiens are evolving, see what i mean? Not the time to think like Habilis at all. Levels have changed.
**Thank you for choosing our blog over your opportunity cost! We appreciate you spending your time here. Thank you!
What are your thoughts? We'd really love to know!
How to Give CPR to a Dead Relationship
A few weeks ago, Mhis Kemi O, a reader of ours, requested I write a post on "giving CPR" to dead relationships. Lol. Perfect title. This post is generic enough to be applied to romantic relationships, friendships and even our intense love affair with Jesus, our Lord-Home-boy. I really hope it helps.
Relationship flames go from fiery red to uncertain ember glows for various reasons; busy schedules, the distraction of new interests, loss or strain of communication. It could also be caused by misunderstandings or grudges. Whatever it is, sometimes, we come to a place where we truly miss our friend and the old times; the sparkle and laughter and we want it back!
The resuscitation and survival of relationships is to a large extent, hinged on communication. In essence, communication is the first thing to be fixed when giving CPR to a dead relationship. God bless social media and silicon valley, which have made it a little too easy to communicate these days. All you have to do is pick up the phone, slide into his/her DM or tweet at your friend or make a plain ol' call.
However, it’s understandable that the first step to resuscitation is usually the hardest. Just do what I do; type a message and walk away from your phone. If a response comes, great! Otherwise, ‘not great’, we’ll have to find an alternate way to get across.
Messages like “We need to talk” or “Call me when you can”, may cause the person to get anxious or defensive, considering you’ve been MIA for a while. Can you blame them, really?
This might be a better approach to a message, “Hi, *insert name*, i hope you are well. You’ve been on my mind for a while now, please let’s catch up soon.” And then follow up with an actual “catch up soon” act such as a call or a lunch date.**
Listed below are five action-points to consider while reactivating your relationship:
1. Show genuine interest
Finally you have a set date to hang out once again as friends! You both sit down and begin to catch up, next thing, your phone lights up on the table. "K-daddy retweeted your tweet". You pick up your phone and zone out and forget your friend exists (again). Show genuine interest in your friend (or partner). Give them the gift of your attention.
2. Bribe(grin)
A little gift goes a long way. It doesn't have to be a yacht, just something of value and that rings true that you remember their interests and favorite things.
3. Talk about the death of the relationship
This isn't necessarily confrontation. Discuss what went wrong and what can be done better this time around. If there's any need for forgiveness then do it on the spot!
4. Do throw-backs
Remember the good times! You and this friend must have had a few good times and laughs, so bring them back to the present. Talk about your adventures, your epic failures, your shared interests and joy-evoking moments you've shared.
5. Celebrate the resurrection
I don't know about you but anything that comes back alive to a functional, active existence is a bit of a big deal and deserves a toast!
Go out together and celebrate. If it’s your thing, praise your newly burnished relationship on social media.
It helps if your resurrecting-intents are reciprocated. I must say though, that some relationships are worth preserving or reviving and others, not so much.
I guess you have to figure out if you should revive the relationship, you know what they say about sleeping dogs lying and all. Some sleeping dog-relationships should be tucked in with a pillow and blanket and paralyzed for good.
**If it’s a spouse, a weekend away does wonders!
Do you have any Dead relationship CPR-giving tips or experience? Please share below with us and Mhis Kemi O! Thanks!
Travel light: Your Relaxed (Glam) Weekend-Away
At first.....
Conversation with myself as I stand in my closet.
Me: Do you really need a lint roller on a weekend trip?
Me: Yup. Even though, I'm taking zero dark colored clothes.
Me: How many bottles of perfume do you need?
Me: Two
Me(gives me the look)
Me: OK, one.
Me: What else do we need?
Me: Lotion, shoes and bags- for every occasion and there may be 4 or 5 occasions, 2 cameras, a towel and 2 changes of clothes per day and also two changes of pajamas.
Me: It’s just two nights.
Me: *blank look* So?
I don't travel light. It's just not something I do. If you travel light, I'd like to praise your skills of prioritizing and decisiveness-please, be very proud! I'm currently trying to join the club. I've been slowly moving over to the minimalist camp, ever since I married Ed, who is chronically allergic to people bending over at airports, to rearrange their overweight luggage! Lol!
I've embraced minimalism all around- less furniture, less junk in my bag (Yeah, right), less stuff on my desk and in my drawer, less keys and cards on my key-holder, less carbs on my plate (carbs-control), fewer shoes but MORE bags *grin* Can't go minimalist there, sorry. I'm a bag hoarder.
Minimalism is really refreshing. It reduces clutter, provides more space, better time management because I don't spend ages looking for my keys in a near-stark living area and I don't spend the end of ages looking for the right key on my bunch. It also helps you relax and think clearly. When traveling, it helps to have the exact items needed for the trip, no knick-knacks. It makes you feel more organized and less worked-up. A study actually shows that, having too many options for one event may lead to depression.
I'm definitely learning to travel light with the least minimum number of functional items possible. God help me.
I decided to make a weekend-away travel items list, so that I don't have to have this conversation with myself every time I have to go on a trip, convincing myself to take just one bottle of perfume.
Downsized a little...
Relaxed Weekend Away (with no chance of glam)
✔️Comfy shoes
✔️Liners/socks
✔️1 sling bag (how generous of me *pout*)
Bedtime
✔️A pair of PJs
✔️Head scarf (if needed)
Toiletries
✔️Toothbrush
✔️Toothpaste
✔️Mini mouthwash
✔️Mini Floss
✔️1 bottle of Perfume/body splash
✔️Day face cream/ Night cream
✔️Nail hardener (brightens manicure/doubles as plaster/band-aid)
Clothing
✔️Hand towel**
✔️3 changes of underwear (plus 1, just because)
✔️2 bottoms (including a pair of shorts)
✔️2 tops (including a tank)
✔️1 dress
Electronics
✔️Phone charger
✔️Phone
✔️Earphones
✔️Camera
Entertainment
✔️1 book
✔️1 magazine
Personalize your experience
✔️Your favorite snack
✔️5 individual packets of your favorite beverage (mine is mint or berry infusion tea) 😍
✔️3 capsules of your Multivitamins
Relaxed Weekend-Away (with a chance of GLAM) add-on items
✔️Cocktail ring
✔️Earrings
✔️Heels (this kills the "relax" factor, for sure)
✔️Clutch purse
Are you a light traveler? Please share your secret! Are you are heavy traveler? When last did you have to open you luggage and rearrange at the airport? Lol! What items can't you live and leave without? Are you taking your vitamins? (in mum's voice)
** I like to travel with my own towel but a bath towel is frowned upon by light-travelers, so a smaller hand-towel will have to do. Sniff.
Letters to my Greatgrand Daughter: Fighting for Romeo
Dear Charly,
Everyone loves a good love story; and what's a good love story without the typical "I forbid you to ever see him again” ban? What your parents don’t know, is that those words, are the exact reason you’d see him again! Right? I know, isn’t life spicy?
Somewhere, somehow, at some time, we all get an opportunity to defend our decision to be with someone. It could be as uneventful as unsalted butter but usually, it’s a full-blown Romeo-and-Juliet type situation where the aforementioned ban is quickly enacted by the “authorities” and everyone gets weird and you burst out crying, and out the door, into a hypothetical garden, where you and your Romeo promise each other, that it’s you, both, against the world and you will overcome and all that good stuff.
I’m an advocate for romance, drama and garden-themed proclamations but i have to say- not all relationships are worth fighting for, not all guys are actually worth the trouble.
Think about it—ALL sentiments aside; discard the garden backdrop and the tears and ask yourself some questions.
Is he worth the fight? Wouldn't it be funny(or not so much) if you went to bat for him and in the end, he is, for lack of a better string of words, not the most decent of guys? Would he do the same for you? What are your values? What are his values? Do they converge? Do they diverge so much that they make a 180 degree angle? Are they parallel? Don't answer just yet and don't ask him. Observe him.
Discard also, the fact that he kisses like Adonis and that you literally become gooey pap, when he looks into your eyes.
Study him closely. It’s almost accurate, the vibes you’d pick up, if you listen- and i mean, really listen, to the words he speaks and the way he says those words; if you looked closely at him and if you prayed intently and seriously like your future depends on it- because it does. If you do this, you'll figure out if he's worth it.
Let's admit it, sometimes parents and third parties are right, parents particularly, it's like they can sense stuff we can't. Sometimes, not always. At those other times, it's their fear, talking.
I had an opportunity to defend my relationship once. I fought, of course, gladly too, because i loved to fight. It was a type of hobby. Anyway, then, i found out he was wasn't being honest (putting it mildly), a clown of a boyfriend he was, really(still putting it mildly). Those are not the types you fight for, nope, let those relationships go, let them slide into a sea of forgetfulness and don’t lift a finger to help them along. Just keep moving.
If he isn’t a clown boyfriend, then strap up your battle boots, baby.
To fight for your relationship, your mind has to be whole. First, remind yourself that it’s your life and whatever you decide, you have the pleasure of baring its consequences. Consequences, spooky, huh? i know. The decision to preserve a relationship, depicts maturity and integrity. Know that I'm proud of you, if you ever find yourself in this position. It means I raised someone who raised someone, who raised someone else well!
Second, understand that "Fighting” doesn’t have to be disrespectful or aggressive. It’s just an opportunity to state your decision to stay with this person, while also, implicitly or explicitly confirming your awareness of putting up with the responsibility that comes with the consequences (it’s that fun word again).
It helps when the person you are fighting for makes it worth it. That way, you can work as a teamin building the relationship, even if it's in the least conducive environment and you can be the Bonnie to his Clyde and sing your theme song in Jay-z's voice.
Make the right decision and do your homework. Consider both possibilities: Your advisers may be dead right or dead wrong. Figure out which it is, don't fight blindly without proof, get your hands dirty and knees scraped, digging for facts to vindicate(or not vindicate) Romeo. Too many times, we fail to do our research because we can’t see past the Adonis lips and the garden-cloud. Tsk.
Also make sure your fact-finding is unbiased with the aim of finding out the truth about this Romeo-Adonis- Clyde candidate. Pray about it, divine help couldn't come in handy enough.
I hope their suspicions are wrong and no evidence can be found to support them. In that case, it's time to stand and fight! *insert war cry*
Love,
Greatgran x
Fighting against romantic injustice since 2001. Hehe.
Related posts: I found the one and she's a she; why you don't deserve to be happy; The rolex effect.
How to make your Sex schedule feel less scheduled!
"Argh! It's sex night", My friend grumbled. I looked at her strangely. I wasn't married at the time and I wondered why she sounded so disappointed. Even more odd, was the term "sex night". What's a "sex night"? I decided to opt for a literary interpretation and stared at her blankly. "Duh, of course it's "sex night" ", I responded, "Every night should be sex night."
It was then, for the first time, that the concept of the "sex schedule" was explained to me- 3 times a week, tired or not, kids asleep preferably and a glass of red. Lie there long enough, someone gives up, both resort to cuddling. Lights out, snore. Dream of mystical creatures and shopping malls.
I'm kidding, she didn't say any of that. She stopped at "3 times a week, tired or not, kids preferably asleep". It sounded very dreary, still.
Wherever her husband was, I was very sure he wasn't moaning and complaining that it was sex-night later. He probably clicked his heels in a leap as he went to the water dispenser and had a mariachi band playing in the corner of his office.
Women tend to be the main barrier to sex, this is because we believe mental stimulation should precede physical stimulation, that is, we have to be in "the mood" or nothing is going to happen. However, most women report enjoying sex, even if they started out uninterested at first. It's weird, I know. According to Michele Weiner Davies, the author of Sex-Starved Marriage, women shouldn't wait for fireworks but work with the embers! How insightful. She also recommends figuring out what gets you in the mood, otherwise you'll just lie there like a cranky fish, thinking about the oatmeal bagels and French vanilla hot chocolate you plan to have for breakfast.
So anyway, I figured I'd do some research on ways to make scheduled sex feel less so. Here's what I found:
Buy new steamy underwear
Buy some precious little's, just in time for sex-night! Recommended by marital and sex therapists!
Relax
Learn to take time out for yourself. Do something that gets you to relax at least once a day. Stress is sex's worst enemy.
No more Vampire-sex
For some reason, married people have sex mostly after dark like night creatures. *Rme* Try some sunlight!
Play some music
Let's just say, something to drown out all that creaking. Try some Sade, Joe or a sexy playlist in your favorite music app!
Redecorate and tidy
Our minds love the thrill of new things, which is why your Amazon shopping cart is always full. Try redecorating your bedroom and if you are on a budget, move things around, reshuffle your bedroom furniture, that also gives a sense of newness. Remember to change your sheets and pick up the stray, mood-killing socks strewn around.
Venue change
Ahem...your bedroom could use a break. Try some other locations within your home! Where exactly? That's completely up to you. Creativity meets improvisation! Plus suggestions here. Not too sure about the backyard.
Skip a rest day
If you usually work with 3 days a week, how about throwing in a fourth day- just because! Impulsive and spontaneous is what makes planned sex feel less planned. Do something he's not expecting!
Think about the rendezvous during the day
This would qualify as mental stimulation. Of course, don't get lost in the daydream during a staff meeting. Save the starry eyes for later!
Love after Cardio
Scheduling sex after a good work out might work wonders. Exercise causes a release of energy which can be profitably channeled- for our purposes*grin*
Meet him half way
Don't wait to get "in the mood", we might as well be waiting for world peace, aye? Work with the embers!
What are your thoughts? Any suggestions to reinvigorate scheduled sex night day?
8 Life-Love Skills to Teach Our sons
Before my sons jump out the front door and begin life as godly, independent, skillful, ground-breakingly smart and attractively hot members of the society, I'd love to teach them a few life skills. I feel like girls get to be taught all the soft skills and the guys get left out. Well, that shouldn't be, plus they aren't just soft skills but actual life-preserving skills especially #1, #3 and #8. I'd really appreciate if you could contribute to the list. Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. How to bake a mean cake (and cook Efo riro and sea food gumbo,oh and to clean up)
Nothing beats the acquisition of the basic life skills that keep you alive-cooking and good hygiene. Tag us as cheap and having low standards, but every girl loves a guy who can cook. As early as he can learn, teach your son the value of being able to boil more than just an egg. Any guy who can evoke gustatory-ecstasy and clean, please make him president.
2. How to be proud of his identity (and his passport)
The decision to understand and embrace our identities is reflected in our speech, actions and eventually in our children. They listen to us intently, and the mould their psyche and values around those expressions. No matter where you are from, you were destined to be a nova and to impact lives because you are from that part of the planet. If your son can understand that he can be relevant in whatever community he finds himself using his innate skills and identity, then it only makes you a proud parent and the world a better place!
3. That he must forget the stiffy and let her go at the slightest stiffen (and that 'No' means 'No'. Seriously)
"Iassumed that she was playing hard to get. You know how 'No' really means 'Yes'?" That's the opening statement for many rapists as they get debriefed by their lawyers. A statement based on the most unreasonable assumptions. We need to teach our sons that the slightest show of reluctance from a woman means "back off". Honestly, even if she comes back begging and naked, umm...sorry, keep stepping.
4. How to serve (and buy someone else a pair of sneaks for a change)
The best leaders are servants. The worst of them are self-centered, selfish, concerned about their own gain and wait around to be served. Boys, from, a very young age must learn to serve others, be responsible for younger children and their community. Imagine a world where we all teach our kids leadership skills from their toddler years, to care, share and honor others!
5. How to compromise (and the art of putting down the toilet seat, sometimes)
God, in all his wisdom put us in Eden, a place of pleasure which included no toilet seats and doors. Closing door(including microwave doors) and putting down the toilet seat are two things men are known to struggle with. Is it ever too early to teach sons to close doors? I think learning to pee standing and trying to aim already proves exciting enough for them, so putting down the seat is sometimes overlooked and they fail to learn. I plan to teach my son how to compromise or we might just settle it by having swing-doors...do they make swing toilet seats?
6. How to check out a girl and talk to her
Ed says his dad taught him and his brother the art of scoping and sizing up girls! Lol. Of course, both sons and even dad have differing preferences but he taught them to set their preference standards first, when they find the right girl, then, they follow through. I thought that was cool, men should have standards too. Make sure your son's game is tight.
7. How to handle heartbreak, move on (and cry like a boss)
Contrary to general opinion, men aren't getting any younger either and even though they don't have any biological eggs turning into omelettes, their time is also precious. Teach your son to value himself and to know when to initiate his exit strategy in unfavorable, unhealthy situations and relationships. Also teach him that it's ok to cry, that being heartbroken doesn't make him any less of a man and that getting drunk and hung over probably makes it a little worse...especially if he had omelettes the night before.
8. How to be faithful
How do you teach a son not to be a two-timing nuisance that ends up being lynched by 17+ women? I guess as a parent, the best you can do is to reward honesty, teach them to respect commitment and to be emotionally intelligent.
Of course, as parents, we won't be there to teach our kids these things in real time and as they need them, but from their early ages until they grow a weird mustache, a full Moses beard and choose to leave home, we must teach them to be principled, rational, strong yet accessible, endowed with culinary prowess and a heightened sense of honesty and service.
So, I'm not a parent yet but I'm learning to plan ahead and be prepared! Could you help me populate the space below with skills that can be passed down to little boys? Do you agree with the 8 skills? Which is most relevant to you?
Travel: The Weekend New Yorker
Last weekend, I realized why all Marvel-comics fictional villains try to take over New York City. Asides from the fact that Stan Lee, the creator of many Marvel villains is a New Yorker himself and probably chooses his city as the default setting for villain autocracy, New York is pretty amazing and if I was a villain with the long term goal of taking over the world, let's just say NY would be my 5-year starter project. It's like a mini earth, brimming over with so much activity and diversity!
It seems to run on this self-generating energy that feeds off the charged cloud of dissimilarity caused by diversity. I loved it! My ears perked up as I heard a woman speaking in rapid Italian to her son and a few feet from her, clusters of friends speaking French, German and other languages I couldn't decipher. Of course, I was speaking Yoruba too, adding to the cloud of dissimilarity and coolness-hehe.
What we did in New York
Slept like babies
Our Airbnb was situated in Brooklyn, my new crush. It was a peaceful, newly-renovated home with a minimalist design, where we got a lot of night rest. I didn't pull the dresser across the door this time or stare suspiciously at the sheets, but I did bring jollof rice!
Explored Flea market(s)
The Brookyln Flea market was more fun than I expected. Usually, I go to open markets for the sizzling food served out of the trucks and the tangy fruit drinks but I actually didn't remember to eat during this expedition.
I also bought a frog-brooch, well, my brother-in-law, Kenny bought it for me. I stood there deliberating whether I was eccentric and rich enough to wear it. Then he got tired of waiting and paid for it. I’m still deliberating! We, very well, could have been there at that stall up until this very moment.
Frog in question👀
♥️
Walked the Brooklyn bridge
The 1.1 mile (1.6 km) long bridge was a highlight. We walked from Brooklyn into Manhattan and loved every second of it, even when it began to drizzle. For a minute, I stood on the bridge and watched the cars pass swiftly below.
They always say New Yorkers are on the go, they don't care, they hurry past and ignore you but as I looked down, a woman in her car, of course, bored in the newly formed traffic, blew me a kiss and waved cheerfully at me. I guess they are wrong about the New Yorkers, then?
Bought "impromptu shoes"
After walking on the bridge in block heels. It happened! My feet went to sleep, so I had to find inexpensive flats. We ventured into China town-by now, I'm all but crawling on the floor. Lol. Who sent me? My sister-in-law and I eventually got a pair of inexpensive, impromptu shoes each. We fell in love with our shoes, maybe because they rescued us*shrug* Mine has quickly become my default shoes this season. I guess wearing the wrong pair of shoes out might have its perks. Wish i could buy impromptu handbags, hmm. *Pensive*
Flea market Tea break
I downloaded AirPnp
Guys, Airbnb's bathroom cousin, Airpnp is probably more genius than anything I've ever seen. There I was in our second flea market of the weekend and then *ting* I had to go. It didn't help that I had woken up that morning determined to meet my 3 liter a day target and I'm a bit of an over-achiever at the oddest times! Anyway, I was in the middle of an outdoor market and I couldn't find a public rest room. It was then I downloaded Airpnp with the speed that'll make light give me the side-eye. As I filled in my login details for this app which would direct me to the nearest rented home bathroom, I found a public restroom right in front of me after minutes of loitering and searching frantically! I didn't get to use my app. Anyway, I'm sure I'll get a chance to, on one of my over-achieving days in the near future.
Didn't get to eat out
I know, who doesn't eat out in NYC? Even hot dogs would have sufficed but we didn't get the chance. We walked by all the restaurants and hot dog vendors when we weren't hungry and then we got hungry on Broadway. We also were unanimously hungry for Thai, which made it more complicated. We eventually found a place, which had a waiting time of 2 hours. 2 hours. I blinked once, muttered a "thank you" and spun on my heels. "Back to our Airbnb!" We ordered Thai on the phone (another long story) but we had dinner eventually! Last weekend was an adventure nothing less.
Would i go back there? Umm yuh-uh, of course! Planned another trip already.
Jaw-dropping experience: I met a New Yorker squirrel, who by the way, is a little bit of a terror and chases humans. These city rodents smh
Were the people nice? In my experience, they were. The uber driver was too nice (and didn't play a harmonica), I got my watch strap fixed for free and I got a kiss blown at me- never gotten that anywhere.
Did I feel inspired by being in New York? Yes, I believe I was inspired. "Concrete jungle where dreams are made of**", yeah?
Have you ever been to New York? Do you live in New York? What's your favorite part and activity?
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**Line from Empire State of Mind-JayZ & Alicia Keys