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Your Wedding day is not the Happiest Day of your Life

You know how people say, "Your wedding day is the happiest day of your life"? They are wrong. They are also wrong about it being the most important day of your life, but that's another post.

Your wedding day is not the happiest day of your life! My mum told me this, in not so many words- in 22 words actually.

She said,"Focus more on your marriage than the wedding, which is just one day. Your marriage, on the other hand, is for years."

When she said that, I thought, "Well, mum, OK... I will do everything you have just said...right after I get my bouquet of perfectly formed blush-pink peonies, my get-Cinderella-green-with-envy shoes, the cake of my dreams and my two veils!" (I know, who gets two veils!)

Every time I got seemingly carried away and distressed by my wedding planning, she would repeat herself, using some variation of the statement.

Then things started to go awry.

I never got those peonies and that got me very upset, also one of my veils never got delivered! The delivery company claimed that it was actually delivered and someone accepted it and signed for it. Clearly, it was delivered to the wrong address. It's beyond me why anyone would want to willingly accept a wedding veil and not return it, when they discovered it was a mistake!

Why was this happening to me?! *insert bride-static melodrama* I was paying a lot of attention to this wedding plans but it was still going wrong. What then would happen to my marriage plans, which I was paying like 21% of my attention to?!

I soon realized a wedding is really 1 day in over 30,000 days to be spent with this same, sexy person.

That's what mum was trying to say, in other words.

In other, other words, what she was trying to say was, prepare yourself for marriage, build your spirituality, improve your temperament, practice forgiveness, develop the habit of flushing away grudges, guard your lips and pray for your home, even before you walk down the aisle. In essence, pave the path for increasing happiness in your marriage.

Your wedding day is not the happiest day of your life, every other day is and it gets happier with each sunrise! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Also don't let them tell you that you should enjoy your wedding day because it only goes south from there. Arch your brow (and your back and any other thing that can be arched) and ask them,"What do you know?"

Do you know anyone going crazy with her wedding plans? Please share with her (or him...yes, indeed, groomzillas exist).

What are your thoughts? Did you have any disappointments with your wedding planning? Do people say it only gets worse after the wedding to you? Bah, lies.

What to do on sunny Saturday afternoons: fool around in your wedding dress.

Photo credit: David Bragdon

pagesbyike 2/19/16 pagesbyike 2/19/16

How to Give Advice

#1 Don't

*Supposed End of post*

What do you think though? Do you give advice often? How does it play out? How often is your 2 cents really appreciated, especially in complicated situations; take advising a mistress or side-chic as an example. If you know any, do you honestly think she'd take your advice?

Side-chics get advised more often than a juvenile delinquent. Everyone wants to chip in and tell Stella that dating the married guy is suicide....and in some cases, Stella, it is. It really is. Don't say we didn't tell you.

The best thing to do in my opinion is not to advice or at least learn to advice properly; whether financial, career, marital, weight management, parenting advice. It has to be done right. It takes a lot of maturity and self-control to effectively advice a person and have the person really listen and see your point. Seeing someone doing something wrong and taking the time to provide reasonable, loving advice takes ALOT. If you insist that #1 is not an option and this person is really important to you, ensure its done right and read on!

#2 Have the right motive: Your motive should be to encourage, to lift, not to tear down. Your advice should be communicated in love and with the utmost respect, not with malice or in derision. If your motive is to show that you are superior, or to scorn or to gloat refer to #1

#3 Don't speak without planning out your thoughts. The great thing about thoughts is that they reflect themselves in your speech. If you aren't coming from a good place, it definitely will be obvious in your choice of words. Sort your mind out first before talking to someone else about their issues.

#4 Never ever start off with "I told you so" or "You should know better" or "A word of advice". Those conversation-starters are dynamite! They get a person defensive and slight impenetrable to your well-wishing words.

#5 Be patient. People don't naturally like advice, so take it slowly, very slowly and speak plainly. If you aren't a patient person, don't bother; refer to #1

#6 If you really must advice, make sure it's not condescending

We aren't any better than anyone else. We are just privy to some information which we are fortunate to be able to share. If "Condescending" is your middle name, refer to #1

Did I miss anything? Share below!