5 Awesome Things I miss About Lagos
Photo credit: Ed Adegboye
Lagos is one of the most remarkable places i've ever lived. It has a life of its own; bubbly, loud, severe and self-consciously modern. It's completely oblivious to other places as it sun-bathes (literally) in its resources and lively metropolis but still, is intricately tied to the global world! It's my city crush any day and I can't wait to visit soon. Here are 5 things that I miss about Lagos:
1. The Traffic Shopping Mall
It's common knowledge that you can purchase anything while stuck in Lagos traffic. Three random items that I've negotiated for in traffic-- a dog, a Christmas tree and a standing fan! Lol! I miss you, mall of life! Innovation in retail.
2. Buka Food
While I am not an avid buka crawler like Ed, I do have certain buka crushes like "white house" in Yaba! Hmmn. I do a pretty good job with cooking my Gbegiri's and Ogbono's, but nothing beats firewood-cooked food, that wasn't cooked by you (the latter is the important part, lol). I miss the street food too; puffies! Boli! Roasted corn! Akara and bread on Ile-Ife highway! Haha! Street, yo!
3. My Adrenaline High
Driving in Lagos is my ultimate be-wary trigger. Your adrenaline is pumping over time as you swerve from an incoming bus, avoid a pothole and miss by an inch, a pedestrian walking haphazardly across the street! You have to be able to keep your eyes focused on the road and also have eyes at the back of your head, in the bid to make it to your destination in one piece , while watching out for LASTMA, FRSC and that strange guy in your window who may have a concealed weapon. I met that guy.
I do NOT miss that guy.
4. Living the Music
Listening to new Nigerian music on YouTube is just not the same as living in Nigeria and listening to it in your car or at a party on the weekend or is it just me who feels this way?
5. Yellow Cabs (Oko asewo*)
The first time I heard a biker call a yellow cab driver "Oko asewo*", i was thoroughly offended! I thought he was insinuating that i was the asewo, considering the fact that i was the only one in the cab. My aunt later pacified me with the truth; "Oko asewo" is their nickname because they served a different clientele after hours. Interesting! I miss seeing them though. I'm sure uber is giving them a run for their money! I hope they aren't struggling so much. Are uber drivers the new Oko asewo's?
Where do you live? What do you miss about your last location? What do you miss about Lagos? If you live in Lagos, please recommend bukas and tell us the most interesting thing you've ever bought in traffic!
*I want to believe the translation in English is Pimp.
The Time Grandma Walked from Ibadan to Lagos (no joke)
My grandma walked from Ibadan to Lagos and back, several times. I know that just sounded like a spontaneous playground fable; almost a probable response during ‘My-grandma-is-better-than-Your-grandma-war’. It’s the truth though, she walked 260 kilometers whenever she had to go to Lagos, which was quite often. She was a trader who would go to Lagos sometimes, to buy her goods; and, well, back then, feet were the new Über.
She was a remarkably strong woman. She died at almost 100 years. In her final years, she was still funny and chatty. She handed out relationship tips on a whim (don’t ask) and had her wits about her, a little too much too. However, she wasn’t the same young entrepreneur who would have bounded down the street and walked 260 kilometers in a weekend. No, not anymore. She hardly walked 50 feet even. Strength fades. Hey, Selah.
We all have our physical strengths (some more than others). We also have our other strengths; our mental strengths, spiritual, emotional, financial, intellectual strengths. Definitely, some more than others. In fact, i’ve come to realize that in the places where i struggle, someone else is doing extraordinarily well! Yup, our weaknesses are the strengths of others and our strengths, the weaknesses of others. In the past, i often wondered about people who were lacking in my areas of strength. Why wouldn’t they be strong? ‘It’s easy. Look, watch me do it. Trust me it is’, I’d say, but they sometimes struggled. It bothered me.
Then one day, i realized that my strengths had a higher purpose. They were not mine to begin with, they were for those around me who are weak; those that struggled and who could not do 10 feet, when i did 260 kilometers.
Sometimes we think about how better-off we are, as a member of a race or group or class, how better we are than our friends or family, how pretty and popular we are, how decisive and emotionally strong we are, how spiritually fervent we are, while others around us struggle with meager strength portions.
Good news again, strength fades. During the moments when we are strong, we need to optimize this strength by being there for the people who need it and not to hit them over the head with it.
Of course, i needed nothing less than a screwdriver and a spanner to reconfigure my mind to think this way; to think that all my awesomeness is really not my own.
Don’t be stuck on my self-profession of my awesomeness. I am awesome. You are awesome. We all are, in one way or the other. It’s a God-given ability and gift. We, after all, were made in his image. These gifts, though are to be used to help people up when they are down-trodden and out. It was what Jesus did. He was strong for us till death and even after death. It’s the whole essence of Easter. One man being strong for us all, so that the weak could have a chance at life eternal.
“He makes us strong for a while, so we can help one another.”
Hello, World!
My Experience with the Intern Mugger (Throwback)
Previously published on old blog space.
Few things to remember while being mugged:
No eye contact, no fidgeting, no sudden movements, no movie stunts(007 is filmed on set and James is not his real name...now you know), most importantly, pray like your life depends on it.....because it does.
I pray younever get mugged, it's the second worst situation ever, right after being on a plane with a malfunction(that you can do without also). If you've never experienced mugging and you wondered a little what the experience might be like...here's my experience!!!
There I was, on a cloudy Thursday morning in Ikeja, Lagos, walking down my street to get a cab to work. I remember the air was fresh and smelt of wet earth (because it had rained the night before). I trotted along, walking on air and happier than a clown (I love rainy days). It was one of those days nothing could even think about going wrong.
"Good Morning, sister", A voice says behind me. I turn to look at him.
"Good Morning", I chirped gleefully.
"Give me your bag."
What??! Wait, what was happening? And then I dropped my gaze and there pointed at me, was a gun. It was such an inelegant gun. If I was going to get shot, definitely not with this ugly gun. It made me just imagine an old blacksmith hitting some metal scraps to make a weapon, including milk tins.
Only in Lagos, would my mugger say 'hey' and even call me "sister". *rme*
At this point, my adrenaline and cortisol is pumping overtime. I quickly look around and there is an old lady about fifty feet away, setting up her roasted plantain (boli) grill. About twenty feet up the road from her, was a man who measures and pumps tires for a living (aka vulcanizer, which I think is a Nigerian word, not a real word by the way lol...they are called foka for short, pun unintended). They both glance at me and continue their morning preparations...this was that moment, that defining moment when I knew the spirit of community was stone dead in Lagos and that I was never buying boli from that woman ever again.
Boli lady had hurt me.
Lagos had hurt me. Lagos hurts everyone who loves it, but we still hang around and love it a bit more. It's a bitter-sweet relationship that only Lagosians can understand.
That's true love, right there.
Back to the story, after being snubbed by "Iya oni boli*" and "foka", I looked down the road for any unjaded passers-by.
No one.
It was 6.30 am, some one was bound to show up, right? Another okada, a fellow commuter, anyone!!! The police would have been nice too...with their station just less than a mile away!
I had to stall, someone would come to my rescue. I looked at him. He was dark and young, wearing a sad brown shirt(not its original color). His face was unsure and I felt like he might just add the word "please" to his demand. Hmmm...a newbie. So I took a chance and decided to appeal to his humane side (Don't do this at home guys, I am a professional lol).
" Please, can I take my work ID? It's all I need,"I asked.
" OK." He says, urging me with a 'go-ahead' gesture with his metal-contraption-gun-thing which I'm sure was Made in Ojota.
Immediately, I dive into my bag and find my ID, then I push it aside, pretending to look for it.
Someone had to come up the road any minute now. They had to rescue me from this intern-mugger and his rickety weapon. Stalling. Intern mugger looks up the road uncomfortably, he was getting impatient but said nothing. He was such a nice guy, really. Lol.
Then, suddenly a bike appears, with a man on it!!!
O yes!! My Hero was here, though his skin looked a little bleached but "hey, Beggars are not Choosers."
My bleached Hero pulls up beside us. Face, mean and strong like any Hero's face would be.
Intern turns around and looks at Hero... he didn't seem very alarmed.
Hero scowls at him, then me, and says to intern, "Shoot her!!!"
At this point, I concluded that humanity was truly in need of a Savior. He apparently wasn't my hero, he was the intern's supervisor! "SHOOT HER!!", he insisted.
Intern looked pleadingly at me, it was either he didn't want to shoot or his contraption had no bullets and it was all a bluff. Hero-turned-bike-riding maniac kept screaming "Shoot her!" I handed over the bag and intern jumped on the back of the bike and rode away with his manager.
I was more sad about the fact that Hero was NOT my Hero than the loss of my beautiful Guess handbag. I was also sad that Hero was almost purple from incessant bleaching. I saw skin disease in his future. I ran home miserable and void of all my items. Everything was in there; my blackberry, my wallet plus bank cards, my makeup purse, the famous work ID card, my bible, my shoes for work (I had walked down the street in flats to catch a cab), my lunch, even!!!
It was quite the experience.
Have you had a mugging experience? Would love to hear about it! Share below!!!
*Iya oni boli (Yoruba language) : A woman who sells roasted plantain as street food.