6 Things (plus 1) to do with Your Wedding Dress
What do brides do with their wedding dresses after the wedding? Umm...nothing, well for me, nothing. For some reason I am very attached to my dress *looking at it lovingly*! Bah! I'm going to sell it. No...I won't. This deliberation has been on for quite some time now- to sell or not to sell. Sometime ago, I got the opportunity to work with David Bragdon, a style photographer who happens to be my neighbor! He was graceful enough to have my wedding dress photographed just in case I chose to sell it (the big S word). However, before I make any hasty decisions, I've decided to explore all other options available! Hopefully at the end of this post, I'll come to the most likely decision. Your ideas are completely welcome, (see #7)!
Here are 7 things to do with your wedding dress:
1. Pass it down to your daughter
My mum passed down her 35+ year old wedding dress to my sister who took bits of it and incorporated it into her wedding veil! It was so adorable!
2. Save it for your 'Renewal of Vows' ceremony
If ever you choose to renew your vows at 5, 10, 15 or 50 years (or never...also an option), wouldn't it be great to be able to actually fit into your wedding dress still! A-ha, that's a challenge. Psst, I couldn't fit into my dress when I tried it on for this shoot! Don't be like me! Be forever fit!
3. Sell it (sniff)
This is the most likely option because I feel like my dress is really just occupying space and also I don't like things wasting away when they could be benefiting someone else. As you can tell, I'm a huge recycler, well most of the time.
4. Donate it to charity
While I was asking for opinions about what to do with my dress, a friend casually said with a flick of her wrist and a toss of her hair, "Donate it. I donated mine to charity." She might as well have told me to jump off the 8th floor. I forgive her. I do.
I'm attached to the dress, I don't know if it's because it took me ages to find or because I'm just a drama queen. Maybe a little of both. I don't think I'm donating either way.
5. Rent it out
Renting is a great idea because it brings in cash but you have to be prepared to dryclean it after every transaction. Not to mention have it repaired everytime it rips. *Pausing and thinking this through*
Like I'd have to give it out and then have it returned to me smelling like someone else. What if someone else does stuff in it. *Pensive*
No, I can't. I can't deal.
6. Convert parts of it into household linen
Scream!!! How could you even suggest that, Ike?! Lol. This clearly takes guts. If I ever tried to cut up my wedding dress, I'd be stuck standing there with a pair of scissors until Jesus comes and pries it out of my hands. I don't think I could. *goosebumps*
7. Please comment below for the best answer(s) for #7
What did you do with your wedding dress? What do you suggest I do with mine?! The first three answers will be alloted point 7(a), (b) and (c)!
Related posts: Why your wedding day is not the happiest day of your life; The one that got away; Your wedding dress shopping check list!
Watching Another Person find the One
One of the three runners-up for my wedding dress was a dress I fondly refer to as "The Thumbelina dress". That's not actually what the manufacturers dubbed it but I tagged it so, to be able to tell it apart from the other 90 dresses I tried on. The Thumbelina was a fairy tale dress; and if you wore this dress, I'm not kidding now, whether you are a guy or girl, you suddenly would begin to sing in a meadow somewhere, with birds singing along, a burbling brook bouncing your voice over its gentle current. It was a "Princess-y" Belle meets Sleeping beauty kinda dress.
That day, i was at a bridal shop in Watertown, Massachusetts and at this store, they usually have one dress in a particular style, in one size, which you can later alter; so there was just one Thumbelina in the entire store. When I tried it on, I fell in love with it and I was certain I could give Cinderella a run for her money or seeds.....or whatever Cinderella spends. However, I kept trying on others, you know, testing the waters.
In the middle of the taffeta and silk whirlwind, a lady who was also trying out dresses on a podium next to me asked if she could try on "the Thumbelina"--my Thumbelina. Straight face. She had tried on about five dresses but hadn't found anything yet. Her face was drawn in a forlorn upside down smile and she seemed exhausted already. Note, by this time, i had tried on about 82 dresses! Try on Thumbelina, huh? I eyed her suspiciously. "Alright", I said.
She gladly took it off the hook in my corner and hurried to hers, stepping out of the A-lined dress she was wearing into the Thumbelina with the help of her personal shopper. As she stepped up unto her podium and turned to face the mirror, my jaw dropped to the floor. She looked like THE THUMBELINA! It looked like the dress was actually designed for her! Seriously, she put the "Thumbelina" in the dress. It fit her at every curve and stroke. There was no contest who wore it best. I had to beg her to buy the dress. I was willing to let it go. It just couldn't have looked better on anyone, anymore than it did on her.
Of course, she ran off to the till to pay. Lol.
Needless to say, I hadn't found my dress. Dress number #82 and i still hadn't found the one!
Some people find the one on the first try or the sixth try and some of us have to try on 80+ dresses or date 80+ people to find the one (I'm kidding, I don't even think that's chronologically possible lol!)
It's a sweet and sour feeling** sometimes, when you see someone find the one, you are genuinely happy for them, you toast to them, you throw the streamers and rice and party till 4am, genuinely wishing them every perfect thing God bestows- but at night when you go home with absolutely no "dress" of your own and you are all alone with your thoughts, then the feelings come.
The great thing about life is that there are times and there are seasons and they are scheduled at different times for different people. Being in stride at the exact same time with another person is very rare and probably not ideal. Everyone eventually gets their own moment and enjoys the thrill of basking in it. If you are on "dress" #70 and still contemplating testing the waters, don't be discouraged. At a certain time, you will find "the one" and you will be dropping the jaws of everyone around!
Written with all the love in my heart x
**every time i read this part i said 'sweet and sour chicken' Lol!
6 Must-haves for Your Wedding Dress Fitting!
Wedding dress shopping!!! One of the most delightful things you'll ever do. You get to swim in endless pools of lace, silk, charmeuse, tulle, velvet (well, hopefully not velvet); you get to be as indecisive and irrational as you want and no one can do anything about it! Enjoy it while it lasts.
When I started my shopping, I wasn't really inexperienced because I had already gone on a pre-proposal wedding dress hunt (feel free to judge, read here). Still, I wish I had a list of things preparing me for my real dress hunt. Here's a little heads up.
After scheduling your visit to a local bridal shop for your fitting, make all necessary preparations to ensure your appointment goes smoothly. Below are 6 must-haves for your shopping experience convenience! Nothing fancy. They will help to simulate your big day as much as possible, so when you find the dress of your dreams and are standing in front of that three-way mirror, you can safely gasp and tell yourself that you aren't too far off from what you envisioned for your wedding day. The only pieces missing would be the groom and the angels singing. Here goes:
A Strapless bra
You will be trying on a ton of styles and if you know anything about wedding dress designers, you'd agree that baring clavicles and shoulders is what they do. Try to avoid bras with straps for the day, it masks the beauty and intent of some styles. Instead, opt for a strapless bra. Some silicon gels would have been splendid but they are very impractical for this because they probably will keep falling off.
A formal mess/Bun
Wear your hair as a formal mess or bun. If your wedding hair style is an updo, show up at your appointment with your hair already in a bun or some form of hair-pin-crazy updo. If you plan to have it down for the wedding, up, might still be ideal for the fitting, we don't want your pretty hair stuck in a zipper.
A pair of Heels
At your appointment, your stylist may ask you if you have your wedding shoes with you. They usually prefer if you do, so they can see if your shoes would work with the length and style of the dress.
If you haven't bought your wedding shoes, take along any pair of heels you think would be the same height as your wedding shoes. If after you read this post, you completely forget all i have said, have no fear, the store stylist will be glad to lend you a pair of heels for the duration of the fitting.
Lenses
If you wear glasses, lose them for the day and stick in some lenses. Remember you are trying to simulate your real day as much as possible. If you have no lenses, forget I said anything. Glasses it is.
[Considering wearing your glasses for your big day, get some inspiration from this beautiful bride i stumbled on! Too adorable.]
Friends
Take a friend or two or three, depending of the allowance of extra guests at the fitting appointment. Make sure, for the appointment, you select friends who have good judgement and are not afraid to tell you to step away from the goose feathered trumpet dress.
Photos
'Auditor' is every bride's second name. Take as many photographs as possible, every angle, every trim of every dress. You will be making yourself a cup of tea and staring at those dresses probably till your screen cracks if you are anything like me. Decisions. Decisions.
Have fun shopping! Share with us your wedding dress shopping experiences!
The One That Got Away
It took me 90 dresses, 3 continents and over 9 months to find my wedding dress. I figured all that time and fabric, a post is well deserved.
I started my search in London and the hunt very well could have ended in London because there on one London-typical cloudy Friday afternoon, I found Yaja. Yaja, the dress of my dreams! [I said London thrice, someone misses you, London! Four times, world record].
Where were we? I got random there, pardon me. Yes, the dress of my dreams. You know that saying "You know it when you see it." It's a little deeper than that. You don't just know it, you feel your heart strings lace up with the threads of the fabric! You can't take it off, you can't stop staring at yourself in the mirror, you can't breathe, you can't really imagine the wedding without the dress. This was the case with Yaja.
Yaja was a Yajaida princess wedding dress in the Pronovias Atelier 2015 collection and it sounds like every bit of its name; a long sleeve silk dress with this delicate pearl embroidery on the sleeve and a princess shaped skirt. I am not much of a fairy-tale believer but that day, for a minute i did see Princess Elsa run past my dressing room with a talking miniature snow man.
By the time i found Yaja, I had tried on about 60 dresses and honestly couldn't imagine a more beautiful dress [You really have to try it on to believe it]. I had never had an experience like this with any of the other 60 dresses. I never wanted to try on another dress! It was The One. I couldn't sleep! My general principle about shopping (and dating) is never buy (or date) anything (anyone) that doesn't get you thinking about it (him) at 2am. It (he) must be that remarkable and that's exactly what it was; remarkable.
Then reality hit me! Hit me hard in the face when i saw the price tag. Thank God for that slo-mo saliva-spilling whack-on-the-face reality check of price tags! lol.
Quickly, i dropped all theatrics, loosened all my heart-dress strings and jumped out of the dress. By evening, i had booked more dress-fitting appointments. Six appointments later and across the Atlantic, I found "The Other one", which proves the theory that there are two types of "The Ones", both in dress hunting and dating; The one and the The other one.
At this point you realize I have to be mildly clever to interpret that. I'll give it a shot.
Sometimes The One is over-rated. I think I may have had about 2 "The Ones" before Ed. Well, see how those turned out *crickets*. The great thing is, life always provides us with face-whacking reality checks that indicate the possibility of a life of inexplicable delight and contentment with another -"the other one", without ever having a feeling that you settled for less, maybe even much more!
I loved my final wedding dress. I loved it in a different way from Yaja. It was more concrete, the bond we had, definitely much more affordable. Strangely, my final dress was valued at a price higher than Yaja's and I got it at about 70% off! Talk about a match made in heaven. While shopping for a dress, don't be fixated on the one you can't have, sometimes, the other one might be the keeper. Plus, if you aren't willing to spend a certain amount of money on a wedding dress, then be prepared to make dreaded C word - compromise and to move on quickly. If you think about it, you are only ever going to wear it that one time. My wedding dress now sits in my closet wondering what else the future holds for it. Not a lot , that much I can tell it; so don't shop sentimentally, saves you so much stress and money!
Nevertheless, Yaja will always have a place in my heart but she is someone else's match made in heaven, just like my ex "The One's"- belonging to other people; and they'd be glad i didn't buy.
xx
This is a very small fraction of all the dresses I tried on! However, Yaja is in there! Which is your favorite dress?
Shopping tip: Eat before any appointment, forget that flat-belly-for-wedding-dress-appointment gist. Well, no eba of course but just eat something because it gets really tiring!
Have fun!