6 Things (plus 1) to do with Your Wedding Dress
What do brides do with their wedding dresses after the wedding? Umm...nothing, well for me, nothing. For some reason I am very attached to my dress *looking at it lovingly*! Bah! I'm going to sell it. No...I won't. This deliberation has been on for quite some time now- to sell or not to sell. Sometime ago, I got the opportunity to work with David Bragdon, a style photographer who happens to be my neighbor! He was graceful enough to have my wedding dress photographed just in case I chose to sell it (the big S word). However, before I make any hasty decisions, I've decided to explore all other options available! Hopefully at the end of this post, I'll come to the most likely decision. Your ideas are completely welcome, (see #7)!
Here are 7 things to do with your wedding dress:
1. Pass it down to your daughter
My mum passed down her 35+ year old wedding dress to my sister who took bits of it and incorporated it into her wedding veil! It was so adorable!
2. Save it for your 'Renewal of Vows' ceremony
If ever you choose to renew your vows at 5, 10, 15 or 50 years (or never...also an option), wouldn't it be great to be able to actually fit into your wedding dress still! A-ha, that's a challenge. Psst, I couldn't fit into my dress when I tried it on for this shoot! Don't be like me! Be forever fit!
3. Sell it (sniff)
This is the most likely option because I feel like my dress is really just occupying space and also I don't like things wasting away when they could be benefiting someone else. As you can tell, I'm a huge recycler, well most of the time.
4. Donate it to charity
While I was asking for opinions about what to do with my dress, a friend casually said with a flick of her wrist and a toss of her hair, "Donate it. I donated mine to charity." She might as well have told me to jump off the 8th floor. I forgive her. I do.
I'm attached to the dress, I don't know if it's because it took me ages to find or because I'm just a drama queen. Maybe a little of both. I don't think I'm donating either way.
5. Rent it out
Renting is a great idea because it brings in cash but you have to be prepared to dryclean it after every transaction. Not to mention have it repaired everytime it rips. *Pausing and thinking this through*
Like I'd have to give it out and then have it returned to me smelling like someone else. What if someone else does stuff in it. *Pensive*
No, I can't. I can't deal.
6. Convert parts of it into household linen
Scream!!! How could you even suggest that, Ike?! Lol. This clearly takes guts. If I ever tried to cut up my wedding dress, I'd be stuck standing there with a pair of scissors until Jesus comes and pries it out of my hands. I don't think I could. *goosebumps*
7. Please comment below for the best answer(s) for #7
What did you do with your wedding dress? What do you suggest I do with mine?! The first three answers will be alloted point 7(a), (b) and (c)!
Related posts: Why your wedding day is not the happiest day of your life; The one that got away; Your wedding dress shopping check list!
Watching Another Person find the One
One of the three runners-up for my wedding dress was a dress I fondly refer to as "The Thumbelina dress". That's not actually what the manufacturers dubbed it but I tagged it so, to be able to tell it apart from the other 90 dresses I tried on. The Thumbelina was a fairy tale dress; and if you wore this dress, I'm not kidding now, whether you are a guy or girl, you suddenly would begin to sing in a meadow somewhere, with birds singing along, a burbling brook bouncing your voice over its gentle current. It was a "Princess-y" Belle meets Sleeping beauty kinda dress.
That day, i was at a bridal shop in Watertown, Massachusetts and at this store, they usually have one dress in a particular style, in one size, which you can later alter; so there was just one Thumbelina in the entire store. When I tried it on, I fell in love with it and I was certain I could give Cinderella a run for her money or seeds.....or whatever Cinderella spends. However, I kept trying on others, you know, testing the waters.
In the middle of the taffeta and silk whirlwind, a lady who was also trying out dresses on a podium next to me asked if she could try on "the Thumbelina"--my Thumbelina. Straight face. She had tried on about five dresses but hadn't found anything yet. Her face was drawn in a forlorn upside down smile and she seemed exhausted already. Note, by this time, i had tried on about 82 dresses! Try on Thumbelina, huh? I eyed her suspiciously. "Alright", I said.
She gladly took it off the hook in my corner and hurried to hers, stepping out of the A-lined dress she was wearing into the Thumbelina with the help of her personal shopper. As she stepped up unto her podium and turned to face the mirror, my jaw dropped to the floor. She looked like THE THUMBELINA! It looked like the dress was actually designed for her! Seriously, she put the "Thumbelina" in the dress. It fit her at every curve and stroke. There was no contest who wore it best. I had to beg her to buy the dress. I was willing to let it go. It just couldn't have looked better on anyone, anymore than it did on her.
Of course, she ran off to the till to pay. Lol.
Needless to say, I hadn't found my dress. Dress number #82 and i still hadn't found the one!
Some people find the one on the first try or the sixth try and some of us have to try on 80+ dresses or date 80+ people to find the one (I'm kidding, I don't even think that's chronologically possible lol!)
It's a sweet and sour feeling** sometimes, when you see someone find the one, you are genuinely happy for them, you toast to them, you throw the streamers and rice and party till 4am, genuinely wishing them every perfect thing God bestows- but at night when you go home with absolutely no "dress" of your own and you are all alone with your thoughts, then the feelings come.
The great thing about life is that there are times and there are seasons and they are scheduled at different times for different people. Being in stride at the exact same time with another person is very rare and probably not ideal. Everyone eventually gets their own moment and enjoys the thrill of basking in it. If you are on "dress" #70 and still contemplating testing the waters, don't be discouraged. At a certain time, you will find "the one" and you will be dropping the jaws of everyone around!
Written with all the love in my heart x
**every time i read this part i said 'sweet and sour chicken' Lol!
16 Random Thoughts you have on your Wedding day
When Lumi took this photo, I was thinking either one of three things, "small chops", "I hardly slept a wink all night" or "small chops". Lol. The mind of a bride is amusing and emotionally tumultuous. I know they all look so put together and calm but on the inside...... Here are 16 random thoughts you might find floating around bride's head during her big day:
1. Aww, everyone is here!
2. Hmmmn, I don’t know that person
3. Wait, why don’t i feel any different now that i’m married?
4. Arrrgh, these heels!
5. Don’t cry, Don’t cry…mascara. Tilt your head back and reabsorb the tears
6. These lashes feel like bat-wings
7. My jaw hurts….all this smiling must burn calories
8. My cake looks so good! Sorry, OUR cake. Need to get used to these plural possessive pronoun thing
9. Cold! Everyone’s palm is so cold on my back
Photograph by Lumi Morgan
10. Where are all my bridesmaids?
11. O no, the little bride needs to pee again
12. Do really have to throw my bouquet, its so pretty!
13. I made the right decision, right?
14. Hmmmn not many gifts, huh? That means more cash gifts 🤑
15. I could do this everyday; Him, cake, all this attention!
16. This sermon is....*eyes flutter open*....did I just fall asleep on my wedding day?!
What thoughts did/would you have on your wedding day?
Other bride-related posts: My wedding dress hunt; Maid of honor tips; Planning your clean, green wedding; Planning for your wedding intruder!
10 Maid of Honour Duties You Should Know
My first time ever as a Maid of Honour (MoH), I was so way off my MoH game! I was 16, lackadaisical and missed most of the ceremony; I spent the entire church service dozing and the reception with some guy that I was almost dating at the time, paying like zero attention to the bride (my sister). A million apologies, Sis. I really wish someone had sent me a blog post about my duties. Anyway after that, i've been a MoH twice and i've spent all the time trying to make up for that day.
If you have been recently graced with the honor of being a bridesmaid, congratulations! It, seriously, is a prestigious appointment; the bride literally just put you in a position where you could either make the wedding a success or a complete fart! Here are 10 things you should know as an MoH:
1. The wedding is not about you AT ALL
The 5th of April (or whatever date the wedding is) is not about you, not even one bit. It's a day you get to serve your friend. She has put you in charge of her well being for the day and to ensure the day goes as planned. So set your plans and almost-boyfriends aside and make your friend as comfortable as possible!
2. The Vendors are bae
Introduce yourself to the vendors, if they don't know you already and develop a good relationship with them. Once the bride wears her dress, all the vendors go through you. Ensure the only thing on her mind is getting to the altar and enjoying her reception. If the vendors haven't been paid or have a complaint, speak with the bride and resolve.
3. Contain drama...quickly
Disgruntles ex'es, a late bridegroom, a rip in her wedding dress, or even better, Egusi splattered on her dress at the reception, whatever the drama is, make sure it doesn't get out of control. If something goes wrong, fix it. She really doesn't need to know, if it isn't too important . Brides go through enough emotional roller coasters internally and if you can shed off the load that would be great. (Hint: You might want to ditch the heels at some point)
4. Get her a Unicorn!
Whatever makes her happy and cheerful, get it for her. As a MoH, you are responsible for keeping her comfortable and in a constant state of delight.
That night, after the wedding, you will feel like you have no feet and will be thoroughly exhausted but oh, the other feeling that warms your chest after caring for your friend. It's pretty darn good.
5. Keep her on time
At my church, if the couple to be wed don't arrive early, the minister starts without them. Lol! So if you really want your friend married that day with minimal frazzle, get her ready on time. Set deadlines and timelines for her dressing up, factor in the time needed by the MUA(makeup artist) , photographer, hair-stylist etc and be on your way.
6. Delegate duties to other bridesmaids
As a MoH, you are a team-lead. From interacting with the other bridesmaids, you should understand their strengths and utilize those strengths to making the bride as comfy as possible. Don't try and do the tasks all by yourself.
7. Provide spiritual support
I had two MoH's *Grin*. Bless my soul, the amount of spiritual support i received was remarkable. Months before the wedding, it's a great idea to choose a prayer day when the bridal party can pray towards the wedding!
8. Of course, organize a bridal shower
Organize the bridal shower with the other bridesmaids. Crafting a shower that works with her personality would be a great idea too! If she doesn't like penis-y cakes, then skip the penis-y cakes. If she doesn't like quiet, homely parties, then make some noise (in a non-residential venue). Remember to get gifts for her as well! (Gift ideas here!)
9. Eyes on the MUA
I love Makeup artists (MUA) but sometimes they just zap into the thinnest air! Make sure the MUA is available to touch-up the bride's makeup often enough or to right any smears.
10. Strap up your MoH Rambo kit!
Your MoH kit is your Maid-of-honor Rambo kit! Be prepared for contingencies. Weddings are the most probable places for rips, button pops and tears, so you must be prepared: Here's a list of what should be in your MoH kit:
Tissues
Pair of slippers or ballet flats for the bride
Bride's phone
Phone charger
Mints (no chewing gum, she'll regret it later when she gets the photos)
A snack
Safety pin
Mending kit
Hairpins
Tampon/ Sanitary towel (..because nature)
Nail file
Painkillers
Did i miss anything? Any MoH or bridesmaid experiences? Share! Share!
What If Someone Refuses to "Forever Hold His Peace" at Your Wedding?!
You know that scene in the 81st minute of a love-triangle themed chic-flick, where the couple, minister and guests are in church and the minister goes "if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace" and there is silence. The groom is hoping some random baby mama doesn't show up and the bride is whispering "God, please!!" inaudibly?
Suddenly someone's hand shoots up and disrupts the entire wedding
Well, in the movies, it's usually someone saying how much he loves the bride and then they leave the groom-to-almost-be standing at the alter. They run into the sunset and the crazy audience begins to applaud. You'd know that the movies are scripted and NO ONE ever wants a disruption at their wedding!
When the minister said this statement, at our wedding, the room fell quiet, I probably muttered, "God, please!", like 12 times. Then, the videographer recording the event suddenly swings his camera to the audience, hopefully expecting some yummy-sushi-like drama!! He was sorely disappointed, he reluctantly turned the camera back to the altar. LOL.
6 Environmentally-Friendly Tips for your Wedding
It's 2016 and we all owe it to our planet to be environmentally conscious and 'green', right? Loving the earth every day and taking care of it is our responsibility, even on our big days! Many people give it very little consideration because we are a little preoccupied with the perfect cake, perfect flowers, the 9-foot chocolate fountain and the ice sculpture of you and bae standing under the Eiffel Tower or some other landmark of considerable importance. No one cares about the earth on their wedding day! I definitely didn't care. I didn't think my own event contributed to any environmental degradation, but it probably did, for one, the cooks in the backyard cooking with firewood so we could get the authentic jollof rice taste and aroma may have made a little contribution. That rice though....😍
Now seeking ways to right my wrong but Earth, you and I know jollof rice ain't jollof rice without firewood. So we have to find a middle ground. A "smoky-flavored jollof rice" seasoning might be the solution; Nestle, Unilever, I just dropped a product development pitch in your lap. BAM!
Ok, things went jollof-centric suddenly. Back to the reason for the post; here are a few things to consider when planning a "green" wedding.
Electronic invites
Paper wedding invitations are pretty (most of them, anyway) and are tangible, which are their main selling point. Although, thought should be given to electronic invites. They are instant; no wait times and are paperless. You and I know where paper invites end up; fending off soldier ants in the rainy season- ablaze; as make-do dustpans and in less dramatic parts of the world, I guess they just end up in the shredder. I know how long it took for me to make a decision about my paper invitation cards, to think that's how they ended up, lol, yup, I should have done the e-invites. Two e-invite platforms that make very pretty, chic invites are paperless post and labellecarte.
Wedding dress(es)
Do you really need two dresses? If you do, Make sure your second dress is beautiful and practical enough to join your wardrobe subsequently. Reuse makes the earth happily green.
Bridesmaids dresses
To all the bridesmaids out there, I got you. Let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, there's a higher chance they'd pick a dress that could be reused for other occasions with little or no modifications. Pretty Dresses= Happy bridesmaids= Reuse= Green wedding
Favors
Are your favors useful? Yes? Are they useful short-term or long-term and unique? Honestly, if I could trade in all the plastic fans favors that accumulated in my house in 2005 and the wall clocks in 2008 for a kobo, i’d be writing in my beach house somewhere on the Pacific. Favors are given with the right intent; to honor the bride and groom while giving out a gift to the guests. Give out favors and souvenirs that are useful and unique.
Gifts (registry)
Get people to spend wisely by setting up a registry with things you actually want and also to avoid duplicity. Many-a-wall-clock strewn around the homes of newly-weds, when they actually would like a pressure cooker.
Flowers
Use fresh flowers from the bouquet as potpourri. Even though the bouquet falls apart after the toss most of the time. If you have them all around reception area, potpourri is a good idea! Here's a link on how to make potpourri!
Here are more tips for the hard-core nuptial environmentalists.
Have a wonderfully green wedding and if you are throwing rice as confetti, remember to sweep it and eat it for dinner!
Lol!!! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I just had to.
xx
6 Must-haves for Your Wedding Dress Fitting!
Wedding dress shopping!!! One of the most delightful things you'll ever do. You get to swim in endless pools of lace, silk, charmeuse, tulle, velvet (well, hopefully not velvet); you get to be as indecisive and irrational as you want and no one can do anything about it! Enjoy it while it lasts.
When I started my shopping, I wasn't really inexperienced because I had already gone on a pre-proposal wedding dress hunt (feel free to judge, read here). Still, I wish I had a list of things preparing me for my real dress hunt. Here's a little heads up.
After scheduling your visit to a local bridal shop for your fitting, make all necessary preparations to ensure your appointment goes smoothly. Below are 6 must-haves for your shopping experience convenience! Nothing fancy. They will help to simulate your big day as much as possible, so when you find the dress of your dreams and are standing in front of that three-way mirror, you can safely gasp and tell yourself that you aren't too far off from what you envisioned for your wedding day. The only pieces missing would be the groom and the angels singing. Here goes:
A Strapless bra
You will be trying on a ton of styles and if you know anything about wedding dress designers, you'd agree that baring clavicles and shoulders is what they do. Try to avoid bras with straps for the day, it masks the beauty and intent of some styles. Instead, opt for a strapless bra. Some silicon gels would have been splendid but they are very impractical for this because they probably will keep falling off.
A formal mess/Bun
Wear your hair as a formal mess or bun. If your wedding hair style is an updo, show up at your appointment with your hair already in a bun or some form of hair-pin-crazy updo. If you plan to have it down for the wedding, up, might still be ideal for the fitting, we don't want your pretty hair stuck in a zipper.
A pair of Heels
At your appointment, your stylist may ask you if you have your wedding shoes with you. They usually prefer if you do, so they can see if your shoes would work with the length and style of the dress.
If you haven't bought your wedding shoes, take along any pair of heels you think would be the same height as your wedding shoes. If after you read this post, you completely forget all i have said, have no fear, the store stylist will be glad to lend you a pair of heels for the duration of the fitting.
Lenses
If you wear glasses, lose them for the day and stick in some lenses. Remember you are trying to simulate your real day as much as possible. If you have no lenses, forget I said anything. Glasses it is.
[Considering wearing your glasses for your big day, get some inspiration from this beautiful bride i stumbled on! Too adorable.]
Friends
Take a friend or two or three, depending of the allowance of extra guests at the fitting appointment. Make sure, for the appointment, you select friends who have good judgement and are not afraid to tell you to step away from the goose feathered trumpet dress.
Photos
'Auditor' is every bride's second name. Take as many photographs as possible, every angle, every trim of every dress. You will be making yourself a cup of tea and staring at those dresses probably till your screen cracks if you are anything like me. Decisions. Decisions.
Have fun shopping! Share with us your wedding dress shopping experiences!
The One That Got Away
It took me 90 dresses, 3 continents and over 9 months to find my wedding dress. I figured all that time and fabric, a post is well deserved.
I started my search in London and the hunt very well could have ended in London because there on one London-typical cloudy Friday afternoon, I found Yaja. Yaja, the dress of my dreams! [I said London thrice, someone misses you, London! Four times, world record].
Where were we? I got random there, pardon me. Yes, the dress of my dreams. You know that saying "You know it when you see it." It's a little deeper than that. You don't just know it, you feel your heart strings lace up with the threads of the fabric! You can't take it off, you can't stop staring at yourself in the mirror, you can't breathe, you can't really imagine the wedding without the dress. This was the case with Yaja.
Yaja was a Yajaida princess wedding dress in the Pronovias Atelier 2015 collection and it sounds like every bit of its name; a long sleeve silk dress with this delicate pearl embroidery on the sleeve and a princess shaped skirt. I am not much of a fairy-tale believer but that day, for a minute i did see Princess Elsa run past my dressing room with a talking miniature snow man.
By the time i found Yaja, I had tried on about 60 dresses and honestly couldn't imagine a more beautiful dress [You really have to try it on to believe it]. I had never had an experience like this with any of the other 60 dresses. I never wanted to try on another dress! It was The One. I couldn't sleep! My general principle about shopping (and dating) is never buy (or date) anything (anyone) that doesn't get you thinking about it (him) at 2am. It (he) must be that remarkable and that's exactly what it was; remarkable.
Then reality hit me! Hit me hard in the face when i saw the price tag. Thank God for that slo-mo saliva-spilling whack-on-the-face reality check of price tags! lol.
Quickly, i dropped all theatrics, loosened all my heart-dress strings and jumped out of the dress. By evening, i had booked more dress-fitting appointments. Six appointments later and across the Atlantic, I found "The Other one", which proves the theory that there are two types of "The Ones", both in dress hunting and dating; The one and the The other one.
At this point you realize I have to be mildly clever to interpret that. I'll give it a shot.
Sometimes The One is over-rated. I think I may have had about 2 "The Ones" before Ed. Well, see how those turned out *crickets*. The great thing is, life always provides us with face-whacking reality checks that indicate the possibility of a life of inexplicable delight and contentment with another -"the other one", without ever having a feeling that you settled for less, maybe even much more!
I loved my final wedding dress. I loved it in a different way from Yaja. It was more concrete, the bond we had, definitely much more affordable. Strangely, my final dress was valued at a price higher than Yaja's and I got it at about 70% off! Talk about a match made in heaven. While shopping for a dress, don't be fixated on the one you can't have, sometimes, the other one might be the keeper. Plus, if you aren't willing to spend a certain amount of money on a wedding dress, then be prepared to make dreaded C word - compromise and to move on quickly. If you think about it, you are only ever going to wear it that one time. My wedding dress now sits in my closet wondering what else the future holds for it. Not a lot , that much I can tell it; so don't shop sentimentally, saves you so much stress and money!
Nevertheless, Yaja will always have a place in my heart but she is someone else's match made in heaven, just like my ex "The One's"- belonging to other people; and they'd be glad i didn't buy.
xx
This is a very small fraction of all the dresses I tried on! However, Yaja is in there! Which is your favorite dress?
Shopping tip: Eat before any appointment, forget that flat-belly-for-wedding-dress-appointment gist. Well, no eba of course but just eat something because it gets really tiring!
Have fun!