16 Random Thoughts you have on your Wedding day
When Lumi took this photo, I was thinking either one of three things, "small chops", "I hardly slept a wink all night" or "small chops". Lol. The mind of a bride is amusing and emotionally tumultuous. I know they all look so put together and calm but on the inside...... Here are 16 random thoughts you might find floating around bride's head during her big day:
1. Aww, everyone is here!
2. Hmmmn, I don’t know that person
3. Wait, why don’t i feel any different now that i’m married?
4. Arrrgh, these heels!
5. Don’t cry, Don’t cry…mascara. Tilt your head back and reabsorb the tears
6. These lashes feel like bat-wings
7. My jaw hurts….all this smiling must burn calories
8. My cake looks so good! Sorry, OUR cake. Need to get used to these plural possessive pronoun thing
9. Cold! Everyone’s palm is so cold on my back
Photograph by Lumi Morgan
10. Where are all my bridesmaids?
11. O no, the little bride needs to pee again
12. Do really have to throw my bouquet, its so pretty!
13. I made the right decision, right?
14. Hmmmn not many gifts, huh? That means more cash gifts 🤑
15. I could do this everyday; Him, cake, all this attention!
16. This sermon is....*eyes flutter open*....did I just fall asleep on my wedding day?!
What thoughts did/would you have on your wedding day?
Other bride-related posts: My wedding dress hunt; Maid of honor tips; Planning your clean, green wedding; Planning for your wedding intruder!
10 Maid of Honour Duties You Should Know
My first time ever as a Maid of Honour (MoH), I was so way off my MoH game! I was 16, lackadaisical and missed most of the ceremony; I spent the entire church service dozing and the reception with some guy that I was almost dating at the time, paying like zero attention to the bride (my sister). A million apologies, Sis. I really wish someone had sent me a blog post about my duties. Anyway after that, i've been a MoH twice and i've spent all the time trying to make up for that day.
If you have been recently graced with the honor of being a bridesmaid, congratulations! It, seriously, is a prestigious appointment; the bride literally just put you in a position where you could either make the wedding a success or a complete fart! Here are 10 things you should know as an MoH:
1. The wedding is not about you AT ALL
The 5th of April (or whatever date the wedding is) is not about you, not even one bit. It's a day you get to serve your friend. She has put you in charge of her well being for the day and to ensure the day goes as planned. So set your plans and almost-boyfriends aside and make your friend as comfortable as possible!
2. The Vendors are bae
Introduce yourself to the vendors, if they don't know you already and develop a good relationship with them. Once the bride wears her dress, all the vendors go through you. Ensure the only thing on her mind is getting to the altar and enjoying her reception. If the vendors haven't been paid or have a complaint, speak with the bride and resolve.
3. Contain drama...quickly
Disgruntles ex'es, a late bridegroom, a rip in her wedding dress, or even better, Egusi splattered on her dress at the reception, whatever the drama is, make sure it doesn't get out of control. If something goes wrong, fix it. She really doesn't need to know, if it isn't too important . Brides go through enough emotional roller coasters internally and if you can shed off the load that would be great. (Hint: You might want to ditch the heels at some point)
4. Get her a Unicorn!
Whatever makes her happy and cheerful, get it for her. As a MoH, you are responsible for keeping her comfortable and in a constant state of delight.
That night, after the wedding, you will feel like you have no feet and will be thoroughly exhausted but oh, the other feeling that warms your chest after caring for your friend. It's pretty darn good.
5. Keep her on time
At my church, if the couple to be wed don't arrive early, the minister starts without them. Lol! So if you really want your friend married that day with minimal frazzle, get her ready on time. Set deadlines and timelines for her dressing up, factor in the time needed by the MUA(makeup artist) , photographer, hair-stylist etc and be on your way.
6. Delegate duties to other bridesmaids
As a MoH, you are a team-lead. From interacting with the other bridesmaids, you should understand their strengths and utilize those strengths to making the bride as comfy as possible. Don't try and do the tasks all by yourself.
7. Provide spiritual support
I had two MoH's *Grin*. Bless my soul, the amount of spiritual support i received was remarkable. Months before the wedding, it's a great idea to choose a prayer day when the bridal party can pray towards the wedding!
8. Of course, organize a bridal shower
Organize the bridal shower with the other bridesmaids. Crafting a shower that works with her personality would be a great idea too! If she doesn't like penis-y cakes, then skip the penis-y cakes. If she doesn't like quiet, homely parties, then make some noise (in a non-residential venue). Remember to get gifts for her as well! (Gift ideas here!)
9. Eyes on the MUA
I love Makeup artists (MUA) but sometimes they just zap into the thinnest air! Make sure the MUA is available to touch-up the bride's makeup often enough or to right any smears.
10. Strap up your MoH Rambo kit!
Your MoH kit is your Maid-of-honor Rambo kit! Be prepared for contingencies. Weddings are the most probable places for rips, button pops and tears, so you must be prepared: Here's a list of what should be in your MoH kit:
Tissues
Pair of slippers or ballet flats for the bride
Bride's phone
Phone charger
Mints (no chewing gum, she'll regret it later when she gets the photos)
A snack
Safety pin
Mending kit
Hairpins
Tampon/ Sanitary towel (..because nature)
Nail file
Painkillers
Did i miss anything? Any MoH or bridesmaid experiences? Share! Share!
6 Environmentally-Friendly Tips for your Wedding
It's 2016 and we all owe it to our planet to be environmentally conscious and 'green', right? Loving the earth every day and taking care of it is our responsibility, even on our big days! Many people give it very little consideration because we are a little preoccupied with the perfect cake, perfect flowers, the 9-foot chocolate fountain and the ice sculpture of you and bae standing under the Eiffel Tower or some other landmark of considerable importance. No one cares about the earth on their wedding day! I definitely didn't care. I didn't think my own event contributed to any environmental degradation, but it probably did, for one, the cooks in the backyard cooking with firewood so we could get the authentic jollof rice taste and aroma may have made a little contribution. That rice though....😍
Now seeking ways to right my wrong but Earth, you and I know jollof rice ain't jollof rice without firewood. So we have to find a middle ground. A "smoky-flavored jollof rice" seasoning might be the solution; Nestle, Unilever, I just dropped a product development pitch in your lap. BAM!
Ok, things went jollof-centric suddenly. Back to the reason for the post; here are a few things to consider when planning a "green" wedding.
Electronic invites
Paper wedding invitations are pretty (most of them, anyway) and are tangible, which are their main selling point. Although, thought should be given to electronic invites. They are instant; no wait times and are paperless. You and I know where paper invites end up; fending off soldier ants in the rainy season- ablaze; as make-do dustpans and in less dramatic parts of the world, I guess they just end up in the shredder. I know how long it took for me to make a decision about my paper invitation cards, to think that's how they ended up, lol, yup, I should have done the e-invites. Two e-invite platforms that make very pretty, chic invites are paperless post and labellecarte.
Wedding dress(es)
Do you really need two dresses? If you do, Make sure your second dress is beautiful and practical enough to join your wardrobe subsequently. Reuse makes the earth happily green.
Bridesmaids dresses
To all the bridesmaids out there, I got you. Let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, there's a higher chance they'd pick a dress that could be reused for other occasions with little or no modifications. Pretty Dresses= Happy bridesmaids= Reuse= Green wedding
Favors
Are your favors useful? Yes? Are they useful short-term or long-term and unique? Honestly, if I could trade in all the plastic fans favors that accumulated in my house in 2005 and the wall clocks in 2008 for a kobo, i’d be writing in my beach house somewhere on the Pacific. Favors are given with the right intent; to honor the bride and groom while giving out a gift to the guests. Give out favors and souvenirs that are useful and unique.
Gifts (registry)
Get people to spend wisely by setting up a registry with things you actually want and also to avoid duplicity. Many-a-wall-clock strewn around the homes of newly-weds, when they actually would like a pressure cooker.
Flowers
Use fresh flowers from the bouquet as potpourri. Even though the bouquet falls apart after the toss most of the time. If you have them all around reception area, potpourri is a good idea! Here's a link on how to make potpourri!
Here are more tips for the hard-core nuptial environmentalists.
Have a wonderfully green wedding and if you are throwing rice as confetti, remember to sweep it and eat it for dinner!
Lol!!! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I just had to.
xx
The One That Got Away
It took me 90 dresses, 3 continents and over 9 months to find my wedding dress. I figured all that time and fabric, a post is well deserved.
I started my search in London and the hunt very well could have ended in London because there on one London-typical cloudy Friday afternoon, I found Yaja. Yaja, the dress of my dreams! [I said London thrice, someone misses you, London! Four times, world record].
Where were we? I got random there, pardon me. Yes, the dress of my dreams. You know that saying "You know it when you see it." It's a little deeper than that. You don't just know it, you feel your heart strings lace up with the threads of the fabric! You can't take it off, you can't stop staring at yourself in the mirror, you can't breathe, you can't really imagine the wedding without the dress. This was the case with Yaja.
Yaja was a Yajaida princess wedding dress in the Pronovias Atelier 2015 collection and it sounds like every bit of its name; a long sleeve silk dress with this delicate pearl embroidery on the sleeve and a princess shaped skirt. I am not much of a fairy-tale believer but that day, for a minute i did see Princess Elsa run past my dressing room with a talking miniature snow man.
By the time i found Yaja, I had tried on about 60 dresses and honestly couldn't imagine a more beautiful dress [You really have to try it on to believe it]. I had never had an experience like this with any of the other 60 dresses. I never wanted to try on another dress! It was The One. I couldn't sleep! My general principle about shopping (and dating) is never buy (or date) anything (anyone) that doesn't get you thinking about it (him) at 2am. It (he) must be that remarkable and that's exactly what it was; remarkable.
Then reality hit me! Hit me hard in the face when i saw the price tag. Thank God for that slo-mo saliva-spilling whack-on-the-face reality check of price tags! lol.
Quickly, i dropped all theatrics, loosened all my heart-dress strings and jumped out of the dress. By evening, i had booked more dress-fitting appointments. Six appointments later and across the Atlantic, I found "The Other one", which proves the theory that there are two types of "The Ones", both in dress hunting and dating; The one and the The other one.
At this point you realize I have to be mildly clever to interpret that. I'll give it a shot.
Sometimes The One is over-rated. I think I may have had about 2 "The Ones" before Ed. Well, see how those turned out *crickets*. The great thing is, life always provides us with face-whacking reality checks that indicate the possibility of a life of inexplicable delight and contentment with another -"the other one", without ever having a feeling that you settled for less, maybe even much more!
I loved my final wedding dress. I loved it in a different way from Yaja. It was more concrete, the bond we had, definitely much more affordable. Strangely, my final dress was valued at a price higher than Yaja's and I got it at about 70% off! Talk about a match made in heaven. While shopping for a dress, don't be fixated on the one you can't have, sometimes, the other one might be the keeper. Plus, if you aren't willing to spend a certain amount of money on a wedding dress, then be prepared to make dreaded C word - compromise and to move on quickly. If you think about it, you are only ever going to wear it that one time. My wedding dress now sits in my closet wondering what else the future holds for it. Not a lot , that much I can tell it; so don't shop sentimentally, saves you so much stress and money!
Nevertheless, Yaja will always have a place in my heart but she is someone else's match made in heaven, just like my ex "The One's"- belonging to other people; and they'd be glad i didn't buy.
xx
This is a very small fraction of all the dresses I tried on! However, Yaja is in there! Which is your favorite dress?
Shopping tip: Eat before any appointment, forget that flat-belly-for-wedding-dress-appointment gist. Well, no eba of course but just eat something because it gets really tiring!
Have fun!
The Secret of the Unengaged Bride-to-be
4 years before Ed proposed, I went on a mock wedding dress hunt with my sister. It was entirely her idea and i had all the possible imaginable reservations about it. For one, I didn't want to be the "crazy" lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged......... but then again, why let all the "crazy" people have all the fun! So I booked an appointment with a local wedding store, over the phone, avoiding the question "When is your wedding?" ever so skillfully with a grunt, an "a-hem" and the word "Soon." At the appointment, the woman was definitely really, really interested in the date of the wedding, so i said it was "inconclusive" for now. I guess at this point she really just thought i WAS the crazy lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged; the one her manager always told her about.
In retrospect, i think this was the most important part of my wedding dress hunt adventure. From the trip, I was able to understand what styles looked best on me; I knew I preferred mermaid gowns and off-shoulder neck styles (I always thought i'd be a Cinderella ball-gown-kinda girl). I knew lace it was and always would be. I knew my veil had to be a statement. I also became aware that sometimes when you don't know what you want some style managers try to force dresses on you. It was a real eye-opener for me ......and an eye-slanter for the suspicious style manager.
How to pull this off...
Let's get it out there; yes, you do require some level of nuttiness for this escapade and who isn't a little nutty, huh? Apart from the benefits of acquired knowledge, it might also set things into motion if you tell your almost-fiancé about the appointment (not with the intention to manipulate him into proposing but just so he's aware and doesn't stumble on your photos one day on your dropbox account and has a heart attack); might get him thinking about the next move too.
You can make it a girls' outing! Get a couple of your girlfriends, engaged or not and do a mock hunt (each of you could book appointments in different stores to avoid being thrown out into the streets, after buying absolutely nothing). My friend, Eki and I did it once on Oxford street. We ran around in the rain, ducking into shops soaking wet, much to the dismay of the preppy shop assistants. Then we ate street crêpes in-between the appointments and after it all, ended up in wasabi eating a spicy bowl of sweet chili chicken bento while flipping through photos of the dresses on our phones. Fun!
It helped me streamline my wedding dress hunt. I also went for my real fitting very informed and confident. I knew exactly what I wanted which made the job easier for me and my style manager. Not knowing what you want is the bane of every wedding-dress style manager's existence. I got a lot of "Thank God! You know what you want! That's impressive!" remarks.
If only knowing what i wanted got me a discount, lol.
It also gets you thinking about themes, flowers, your hair and jewelry. It gets you planning a shopping budget and helps with being realistic with the numbers. Best of all, it's fun and a great way to spend an afternoon with your girlfriends without looking like the lone crazy woman who tries on dresses.
Now when you start taking photos like this with no intentions of buying anything, you probably will get thrown out! Lol! Thank you Eki for letting me use this photo. mmuah!
What are your thoughts on mock hunts? Do you know what styles you would like? Share with a friend who is nuts enough to try this with you...and then book some appointments!
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10 gifts (+another 10) to take to a bridal shower
Going to a bridal shower? And have no idea what gift to buy. Well, relax, I'm about to bring more than 10 ideas your way.
I am pretty sure I have goofed everytime I tried to buy a bride a gift. Simply because I usually buy her what I want. Hehe. There's nothing more demoralizing than seeing the gift you bought her, dusty and unopened, seating in her junk closet, after her third child. So let's try some personality linking to our purchases. What's her personality like? Is she adventurous or a couch potato? Is she glam or a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl? Does she live on a treadmill, does she eat oats and quinoa all day long? Is she a foodie or an artist? Pick out which of these the bride is and check below! If she's not on the list, drop a comment below...let's brainstorm together!
The Daisy bride (1)
The Musical bride (2)
Headphones (an upper grade Sennheiser, she will love you for life. Bose, if you can. Beats, if she loves color. Sony, if you are on a budget. )
The Foodie bride (3)
A cookbook or a paid trip to a chef's kitchen to learn new dishes, or simply lunch (as a foodie I know I'd rather just eat it. Away with any cooking!)
The Sexy bride (4)
The Health enthusiast bride (5)
A pedometer and/or a smoothie maker
The Bride who actually cares to wear an apron (6)
The Satchel-lover bride (7)
A purse of any kind!
The illustrator Bride (8)
an illustration of the couple or of both of you
The make-up on-point bride (9)
Of course, more makeup. And some makeup remover. Am I the only one who thinks everyone needs a good makeup remover?
The Shoe-lover bride (10) this works for most brides, it's a no-brainer
The bride who has now morphed into bridezilla (11)
Space (I'm kidding, I honestly don't know what would please a bridezilla) Any ideas?
The Adventurous bride (12)
The Stressed-out bride(13)
A spa voucher (she will need this the week before the wedding)
The Nerdy bride (14)
A Journal/book, not this book
That moderately Sexy bride (15)
Moderately Sexy PJs
The Bejeweled bride (16)
The tipsy bride(17)
A bottle of red wine
The Gym-junkie bride (18)
Gym gear or Boxing gloves and pads.
The student bride (19)
Money/ Some investment too
The blogger bride(20)
I'm stuck here. What do blogger brides want? A paid session with a pro photographer for her blog, maybe. A session that probably lasts a week!
What kind of bride are/were you or will you be? What would you want?!