7 Things Every Career Girl Should Know
Hello, Monday! There's no better time to evaluate your career goals and understand what areas need a little boost, than a Monday in June! We need to get on track before July gets in, you know how July gets, scaring us with its-second-half-of-the-year-what-do-you-have-to-show-for-it reputation.
Right below are some important skills and career building tips that every career girl needs to know. Hurry, before July gets in! Here goes:
1. Value your work and skills in those heels
We work pretty hard but how much do we value our skills?
"Yeah, well, I'm great with CAD."
"I can build a website in my sleep." *shrug*
"So what if I can make 700 plates of party lunch plates in three hours."
"I take care of our home, run errands and take care of the kids. I wish I had a real job."
"I speak 4 languages but bleh..."
So many women have skills and they should be celebrated (which is why we have PGI girls!)! We should value our accomplishments and skills. True, there's always room to learn some more and to improve but value should be placed on that which we have accomplished and the tasks we achieve on a daily basis.
2. Negotiate circles around anyone
I understand some systems do not support equal pay between both genders but for some of us who have the opportunity to negotiate pay, we sometimes cower. Here's the fact, men negotiate pay. It's the fact.
When Ed negotiates, I cringe but he usually gets what he wants and I don't...I just get more wrinkles from cringing. Men are more likely than women to negotiate pay. As women, we are a little bit bashful about asking for more. Asking for more is a risk and studies show that women are more risk-averse than men. That maybe the reason, it may also be that we just don't value our skills enough to put a good value on it (see #1). You have to ask for more, to get more. There are no pink ponies and shimmery wands in the real world, and no one is going to drop extra cash on your lap until you ask! Ask for more!
3. Shop for a mentor
Hey, girls, so mentors! It turns out that females hardly get mentored and this is a three-pronged problem. Prong #1 There are far less women in managerial positions than men and so there are less female mentors to start with. Prong #2, some women in authority sometimes feel insecure and might feel like other female subordinates might be out to get their positions, so the ones who ask to be mentored only get very leveled teaspoons of advice and mentoring. No one is trying to still your job, Ma'am. Well, maybe some are, but others just want to learn. Help the younger women. Prong #3 Younger women hesitate before asking for mentoring, assuming the senior colleagues don't have the time or that they come across as bothersome. Reach out to your mentor-crush first, and if you get shut-down, move on to the next.
4. Recommend people for positions
A female superior is less likely to recommend a subordinate for a position according to this study. This study by the Harvard review shows that men are more hands on with their mentoring, they help to plan their career moves and empower their mentees in new roles! It's not quite the same with women. Women in power need to mentor and pull more women up the ladder.
*Who you epp?*
5. Keep your home separate from your work as much as possible
The first thing I learnt in business school was this; your client doesn't care if you've had a bad day. Get it done. Honestly, your boss doesn't care, your client, customer. No one cares. Get it done!
OK, so you have a great boss and he does indeed care. It doesn't matter, act like he doesn't. At first, I thought this was a little harsh, slowly i discovered that it teaches you to be professional in your dealings, to execute tasks promptly and to show results. If you have excuses, leave them at home. If your child is sick, tell it as it is and get time off work. Don't get someone to sign in for you and then not show up.
Also leave your work at work. Finally, that double life you always dreamed of!
6. Go the extra mile, still in those heels
There is always an extra mile, right after the publicly-proclaimed finish line. I learnt this from one of my classmates from school. She dotted all i's, crossed all t's, intersected all x's; her work was always of superior quality and it stood out because she chose to do more than expected! Go the extra mile.
7. Don't be afraid to ask for help
Girl-pride is great during empowering ladies' nights and karaoke renditions of "Independent Women", however, when it comes to achieving your career goals and contributing to your organization's objectives, it's a good idea to ask for help when you need to. Find a mentor within you company or industry, someone who can give you guidance for your task. If there's no one suitable, ask questions! Ask the people on your team for help. If need be, call a meeting and have a constructive problem-solving session. Don't feel like people are going to stare at you like you know nothing. People will always stare and judge, that's OK. When they are done, they will peel their eyes off you and stare at someone else. Ask questions, please. Gather information and execute your duties like you were made for it!
I hope this helped! Please don't forget to share! Thanks. What steps are you taking this month to launch that awesome career off the ground?!
Related posts: PGI girl, Joko; Your very own business idea; Improve your work-space with these tips!
4 Long Distance Relationship mind-tricks + How to deal
Somewhere in between feeling like a third wheel on most social outings and scowling on the crowded train next to the kissing couple, you'll realize that this long distance relationship (LDR) isn't just your thing!
No one can take away the discomfort (putting it mildly) that LDR brings but you can sure make it easier on yourself. From experience, i noticed that LDRs tend to have certain effects on the individuals involved--minds tricks that's what they are really. The distance, of course, makes you feel as frustrated as ever and begins to play games on your mind, causing you to make decisions you wouldn't make otherwise (especially #4). I've narrowed these effects down to 4 effects, because this post could easily turn into a book if I don't. Lol!
Spoiler alert for effect #2: During our LDR, probably in our 7th year, Ed and I were away from each other for a while--the longest we had ever been. By the 3rd month, we couldn't remember what the other person felt or looked like! Don't be alarmed if this happens to you, somewhere along the line you might lose bits and pieces of the events and time you shared together, but that's ok, breathe, it doesn't mean your relationship is dying. Check out #2 for tricks!
Here are 4 tricks LDRs might have on your mind and 4 neat tricks to manage them:
1. Stuck on Stag Island
Stagnant (Stag) island: that place where you want to hide under a rock and become a hermit. From experience, I can say LDR has a knack for getting you to put your life on hold, because your Significant other(S.O) is not around. You are here watching the world go by, passing on some awesome experiences and all you want to do is dip yourself in a slow, mundane cycle and sluggishly go with the motions till you see bae again.
Neat trick: Get busy and don't let those experiences pass you by (Well, not unless they cost money and you are broke). Find a hobby. Develop yourself! If you want to go to Turkey for a- once-in-life-time internship opportunity, this would be a great time to do so.
2. Forget S.O's face and features
By week 9 of your LDR, you may begin to forget features, voice tones, the tiny things that made you fall in love with S.O. True, you talk every day on FaceTime or Imo but you can't get past the virtual barricade the screen offers. Don't panic and think your relationship is over just because you can't remember the way he feels or the way she laughs!
Neat trick: Discusswith your S.O. He/she probably feels the same way and is just as spooked about telling you. Sharing this will take the load off your shoulders. A surprise visit may also be in order, if you can afford it!
Something Ed did that helped was "a letter box". He wrote about 10 letters all sealed in individual envelopes and marked for the days I was to open them and read (P.s I love you style). *heart bubbles bursting all over my head right now* It also helped that we gave each other rich narratives of our day.
3. PDA intolerance
You suddenly become intolerant to couples holding hands and kissing on the streets. I remember one particular couple in Trafalgar Square. They were both dressed in white clothes, top to bottom, for some reason. They wouldn't stop kissing each other! If you have me a pen and paper, I could draw and label their tongues. I saw too much in one glance. Way too much.
Neat trick: Zone out of the situation and give the couple as much space as possible. There's not a lot to do in this situation but self-pacify. Lol! If you think about it, you guys will eventually be that gross couple that everyone can draw their tongues in future. Sohold your peace and focus on the future!
4. Illegally Crushing
You begin to crush on someone who is near and isn't even cute! LDRers are lonely people and are the most susceptible to having weird, random crushes. Tut. Tut. It's the LDR hustle.
Not-so-neat trick: You have two options: (1)Tell S.O about it. Reassure him/her that it's nothing. You guys can work through it together. (2) If you are going the other obvious route-the don't-tell-S.O route, please find someone who you can trust and confide in. Be accountable. It's great to have good platonic friendships at your location to ensure you aren't lonely and are occupied! It really helps, unless they are "Jacks". Lol! I just remembered that post. I'm going to read that now. I hope you enjoyed this and that it helped! Please share with an LDRers you know! Thanks!
Hey, can you identify with any of these mind-tricks? Please feel free to add any effects of long distance relationships you might have experienced below!
How to Turn Down a Job Offer like a Boss
Skills needed: Interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence, communication
Turning down a job offer is like saying 'No' to a guy or girl who just asked you out on a date. It's just all so sensitive and "egg-shell-y" and probably requires just a little more tact than if you were accepting the job. Why? Well, because the asking party is usually the vulnerable party, plus mismanaging the situation could end up unprofitably for you. So tread softly and say 'No' gracefully, bearing in mind that the future is a crazy plexus of opportunities and you never know who you might meet down the road. Make sure your "No" doesn't have a finite tone to it and whatever you do, one thing should always be at the back of your mind, "future relationships and opportunities".
Below are 5 tips to consider when turning down a job offer:
(1) Be grateful for the opportunity and express it.
(2) Say "No" like you'd say "Yes". If you can, show up in person to turn down the offer, otherwise call in. An email or text should be the last resort. No getting back to them at all is not an option.
(3) Be honest about the reason you are turning down the offer. Better prospects, better renumeration, commute distance, whatever it is, let them know. They just might let you work from home, match that paycheck and promise you a promotion in 2 months! Wouldn't that be perfect?! They might even throw in a travel package and a pet dolphin!
(4) Be assertive about your decision. Be certain that you really don't want the job. Going back and forth leaves you looking inconsistent and may impact future relationships with the organization.
(5) Leave the communication channels open. Connect with your interviewer and other key people you interacted with during the candidate selection process on professional platforms like LinkedIn, if that's ok with them. Be sure to recommend people who you think might fit the role you so gracefully turned down....like a boss.
Did I leave anything out? Please, add below!