How to Receive Compliments Gracefully

Whenever I'm paid a compliment, I freeze. My mind freezes, my lips freeze for sure, and of course, I have the hugest brain freeze in the universe. I don't know why! I guess I become a little more self-conscious and aware, which apparently leads to a feeling of embarrassment. I know, I don't get it either. Shrug. Well, good luck to moi because I'm about to push me into a lot of discomfort. I've decided to learn to accept compliments, instead of offering that weirdo-smile I give everyone when they say something nice about me.

Here are the steps I'm taking: 

Step one: Receive the compliment. I usually just let compliments slide off by keeping quiet or giving an awkward laugh or the weirdo smile. I’m learning to say "thank you" and to smile warmly (toning down the weirdness there). Receiving a compliment acknowledges the comment and says that you value the giver's observation and opinion.  If you put in a lot of work into something, and it gets noticed, then just take the props when it comes. 

Step two: Don’t return the compliment unless you really mean it. We can tell if your compliment is sincere. If it isn't... guess what? We can still tell! You gave me a sincere praise, then I dish you a lie about how I like your hair(which is clearly an eye-sore). Blink. Then it becomes weird. Just saying.

You don't have to respond with a compliment. Plus it’s your moment, bask in it a little. 

Step three: Give honor to whom honor is due. If someone compliments your deliverables, remember to mention the other members of your team or support group that contributed to the success. If someone likes your makeup, say thank you, and give some attribution to your makeup artist or whoever taught you the trade.

Step four: This is completely optional. Pass on the secret. If you feel comfortable telling your compliment-giver what the secret to your success is, then go for it. Otherwise just receive, attribute, smile (not like a weirdo) and look pretty.

Do you have  anymore suggestions on how to receive compliments gracefully? I’m really working on this grace thing. 

Letters to my Greatgrand Daughter: Your Inner Samurai

Dear Charly,

This is a letter about being the bigger man. Earlier today*, someone responded to a question I had asked on a social media platform with a remarkably snide remark. Instantly, I took off my earrings, and took my Taekwondo butterfly kick stance. I was ready to attack. I couldn’t believe the number of sarcastic, so-in-context retorts that flooded my head. They were so good, I think I shivered a little.

So good.

Then I stopped. As a (new) rule, I never attack immediately. I wait. Hold my breath and then let it out. Once again, hold that breath, let it out. I close my eyes. I imagine the sun is shining on my face and I let the battle drums fade into the background. Harps play instead—this part takes a while. I think about the consequences. Today, that incident made me think about what I represent. I asked myself what I’d advice someone else to do.

Overlook it, I'd say. Overlook the offense. It's not worth it. Your future is impeccable, your path is sterling. Don't play around in cyber mud. 

It was hard. It is hard—doing the right thing. It’s hard to be already half -suspended in the air, arms spread out like wings, ready to flick that ankle and kick her in the mouth, all calculated. No chance of a miss.

Deep exhale. 

I let it slide.

The next time someone ticks you off so much that the only thing they apparently deserve is a fine whack, a polished lecture, a sweet piece of your mind. Don’t dish it.

Offer mercy instead.

They may not deserve it. I know, but life is crazy, in a few hours, you may be in need of mercy, yourself. You wouldn’t want someone to unleash their inner-Samurai on you. Would you?

Love,

GreatGrand x

 *written two months ago. 

Unplugged and Found

Forgive me! I haven't posted in 30 days!

Life happened. I happened, actually. I happened to Life and it has been trying to catch its breath ever since. Still, I apologize.

Ed and I chose to be unplugged from social media over the last few weeks. I thought I wouldn't survive, but here I am sipping on a strawberry-banana-broccoli smoothie.

My last post was published 30 days ago. Within that time, I turned 29, I took on a new leadership role, God and I went on many dates, I soaked myself in experiences, unplugged from social media and TV and improved my communication skills.

I developed myself as writer, and of course, my purpose in life became clearer.

If you were wondering, that's where I've been. I missed being here with you. Cyber-blown-kisses to everyone who came looking for me, and also to those who didn't. Hope March flooded your life with light.

How have you been? What great things have you been up to in the last 30 days? 

PGI x ÀSÀ WEST | PGI Girls' Give-Away

Remember July's PGI girl, the stylish, awesome Mope ? She recently launched an accessory line called ÀSÀ West! Congratulations, Mope!

ÀSÀ West currently carries a wide range of hand-bags, envelope purses and other accessories. Yes, when I discovered this, I admit, I did hyper-ventilate a little, because I love handbags, and now my friend has a line! If you're looking for me, I'll be at her house, swimming in her inventory.

Just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore, she decided to partner with PGI to give back to her community through a give-away! 

PagesbyIke is proud to be partnering with ÀSÀ West on this exciting project! We will be giving out the beautiful "WANDE" print purse from her line, which I am totally in love with. Men, if she didn't like your Valentine's day present, it's redemption time. Put in an entry for "WANDE" and thank us later.

I love "WANDE", I think she knows.  

But first, one question. Two, actually. Three.

Why can't bloggers enter for their own give-aways? Who made these rules? You're maybe wondering if I plan to enter the PGI x ÀSÀ West Give-Away along with everyone else? It has crossed my mind.  *slow nod and wink*

I really do have the perfect heels to pair "WANDE" with, but I won't enter, I promise. Lol. 

We can't wait to find out who the winner is. The entry closes next week friday, so throw in those entries now!

Ps. Watch out for more giveaways this season from our past PGI girls! Don't forget to read the terms and conditions. 

Best wishes. 

(Congratulations to our winner! She has been contacted! Edited March 9th) 

PGI x ASA WEST GIVE AWAY

The Queen of Sheba | In Pursuit of Wisdom and The Ladies' Man

In my books, the top 3 fashionistas of the Bible, would have to be The Queen of Sheba, Queen Vashti and maybe, the virtuous woman, maybe. The Queen of Sheba (QoSheba) has my vote as number one.

In my children's bible, she rode into Jerusalem on this magnificent elephant draped with Persian rugs; jewelry dangled from the elepahant's large ears and a huge jewel sat between its eyes. She, of course, was fabulously beautiful. She sat in a shaded carriage on the back of the elephant, her shady, ebony skin peeked from underneath a long, gold, silk dress, her neck was wrapped in a gold neck piece that sat just above her clavicles. Hair was endless, nails coated, lashes for days. Wrist, arm and ankles clasped in gold cuffs, huge hazel eyes peered from behind the gold frills of a sheer veil. The Bible's number one stunner—or so she thought, until she met Solomon.

I've been a little obsessed with the Queen of Sheba in the last few weeks. I love her story because it is unique and because I'm very much in her shoes right now (I'll get to that later). She's my Bible crush these days because she did a remarkable thing and because of that got her name into the most read book on the planet.

But first, my personal thoughts about her, I think the Queen of Sheba was a hater— beautiful and stylish—but a hater, nonetheless. 

It's recorded that she traveled a great distance to test Solomon with hard questions. She wasn't going as a fan, she wasn't going to hang out with the coolest king on the planet, she wasn't going for a snapchat-story or so she could tweet about it. It seems this queen was coming to Solomon to debunk this larger-than-life reputation of his. Uhh..feisty. 

Note, she was traveling on an animal, which is no Bugatti. Travel time must have been months or even years. She was coming to see who this Solomon-guy was. Wisest man her foot. 

I imagine her rolling her eyes when her courtiers talked about Solomon and how awesome he was and the splendor of his palace, his city, his servants, his clothes, his God— his God had given him so much peace, even the most violent kings loved him. His food, his chefs, his gardens. Oh...and when he spoke...all the court maidens swooned and the girls couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"I heard he is the wisest person that ever walked the earth!" Her court gossip-blogger would have said with twinkling eyes,"I also heard...he's dating 700 women...all at the same time! And his 300 wives know!" This was probably the moment the Queen of Sheba said, "You know what, I can't...I'm going to meet this guy you're all talking about, 1000 women! Yeah, right! And they all know?! Unbelievable." 

She got to work with her "philosophers" and "wise men", did some research and came up with some difficult questions for Solomon, which must have taken time and considerable effort. 

Her plan: She'd ride into his city, find at least 1 fault, stun him with her questions and leave. So girlfriend got on a horse, donkey, elephant, something, and began her journey.

Her entourage was unmatched. She traveled in style. She was there to impress, her defenses were probably up, so she didn't become Girl #1001. When she got there, it turned out all she had heard was a lie and that his kingdom was even more awesome than described! Even his servants looked great! Everything was functional, hinged on the wisdom God had given Solomon for administration and governance and she was so impressed that she praised HIS God. She couldn't help it! 

Even though she may have started out planning to test this wisdom, she later opened up to Solomon. She chose to be vulnerable and asked him some personal questions that she needed answers to. He answered those as well! I think at that point she became even more beautiful to me.

QoSheba made it into the Bible because she sought out wisdom. She could have stayed back in good ol' Sheba, gotten a manicure and chewed on red grapes and we would never have heard about her . I love that she saw the value of wisdom, and put in quite the effort to uncover it. 

Whether or not she was a hater initially, it doesn't change the fact that she traveled thousands of miles to see Solomon, to hear this man who everyone talked about and to witness the awesomeness of his God. She stopped being a hater (hating is so pre-historic-era anyway) and honored God by giving him praise for Solomon's success. It take a whole lot of character to thank God for another's success. I just love this girl. 

This journey was life-changing for her. It must have changed the way she thought, the way she governed, even the way she would choose her King (if she didn't have one already). She left Jerusalem with so much stuff, treasure, gold, I-love-Jerusalem T-shirts, precious stones. It's recorded that Solomon gave her everything she asked for. That's the thing about wisdom, if you seek it and treasure it, it will give you riches, that's in Proverbs 3: 13-16. I'm not making this up! An encounter with God's wisdom changes everything!

This season, I have so many questions I'd like answers to—just like QoSheba— hard questions; I have to make decisions that require the application of wisdom. Do you have some too? Some funky dilemma getting you down? You need to choose between Richard or Debo; or both Joyce and Temi were your Valentine's, you just couldn't decide; or you need to choose between two job offers, or three schools or you just need direction in a situation. Instead of traveling to see some wise man these days, all we need to do is ask for wisdom for ourselves, so we can make better decisions. We need to see the value of wisdom like the Queen of Sheba did, then ask for it.

Just ask him for wisdom. He knows the outcome of every choice. Still your troubled mind and ask.

If you ask, you will receive.

What are your thoughts? Wasn't the Queen of Sheba everything?! By the way the BBC thinks the Queen of Sheba may have been Nigerian! Read here!

If you know this could help someone, please share!

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Cover Art by the wonderful Nigerian artist, Ruthie Akuchie! This Queen of Sheba piece was one of the 29 art pieces painted in 28 days to honor black, female leaders Ruthie's inspired by, honoring the Black History Month. Read her feature  here!

She Blogs | Super Shero Grace (G)

SuperShero Grace (G)

Location: Lagos

Blog url: Epiphany29.com

Blog Genre: Fashion and Lifestyle

Grace's blog has a girl-next-door meets chic style vibe to it. She makes looking great look effortless and she makes blogging look so easy! Swing by for some chill time and some great style tips; I just learned a few new tricks on how to wear my shorts, when this snow finally melts. Also, find out how to celebrate Valentine's day as a single girl! Grace is also a personal shopper and an aspiring fashion designer. Here she is:

1. First four words of the lyrics of your current favorite song?

GG: "One month till February..." from "Falling Short" by Lapslèy

2. One experience you plan to tell your grand-kids?

GG: How I fought and survived cancer at the age of 5, not by my might but by Gods Grace...

3. Least traumatic break-up technique you'd recommend?

GG: Change phone numbers et al? Hahahaha.

4. What inspired your blog name?

GG: I had been thinking and struggling with a suitable name and Epiphany29 came to me like an 'Epiphany' get it? Lol

5. If we were all forced to be teachers on the universe. What art/skill/science/discipline would you teach?

GG: Hmmmm, since we would all be teachers, why would I have to teach other teachers, eh? I kid. I think i'd teach IT related stuff. 

6. Last movie that made you cry! (You can't say Titanic)

GG: I could be a cry baby though but let's see... last movie that made me cry... would be "You Before Me" *sniff sniff*

7. "Carbs" is a) Bae b) The Enemy

GG: "Carbs" is BAE whoop whoop

8. John Snow or Jack Bauer?

GG: You know nothing Jack Bauer... John snow anyday for me. 

9. If I promise to be your right-hand girl, name a celebrity's shoe closet you would raid?

GG: Girl, we are so raiding Klohé Kardashian's closet!!! 

10. #bighairdontcare or #shorthairdontcare

GG: Team #Bighairdontcare yo!

11.  You are having lunch with your fave T.V fictional character. What would you order?

GG: I'd order goatmeat peppersoup (straight face) and ice-cream cake for dessert.

12.  "Our _______ makes us beautiful as Nigerians."

GG: Our culture makes us beautiful

13. Avengers, the movie. You have to date someone. Who would it be?

GG: Chris Hemsworth. *swoons*

14.  If I had to, I'd totally name my car...

GG: Jesse

Thank you for hanging with us, Grace! You are the best! And that testimony fighting cancer as a child...we are grateful for the grace!  

Read Grace's How to celebrate valentine's day as a single girl.

The Pros and Cons of Sexting

It may surprise you to know that zapping past your head right now- couriered by invisible radio waves- are millions of media messages that people hope their grandmas never see.

Sexting has become a huge part of romantic relationships in our time. These days, with a two-way phone camera, some light, one or two filters, and as little as 24 megabytes of data, we could make grandma very uncomfortable.

According to Dr. Emily Stasko of Drexel University Philadelphia, sexting is defined as the sending or receiving of sexually suggestive or explicit content via text message, primarily using a mobile device. Some sexters may send content with the intent of receiving racy content too, while others just send them in without the intentions of receiving. What can I say, some people really are just givers from the heart *shrug*

A lot of research has been done on sexting, with a main focus on teenagers and everyone agrees that choosing whether to sext or not, is not a decision teenagers should be making or worrying about. In fact, it usually does them more harm than good, but the rest of us and our grandmas still wonder about sexting and whether it's morally right or wrong; whether it's acceptable practice or just plain reprehensible; whether romantic relationships benefit from it or can do well without it.

The public opinion is divided. Some people think it's completely wrong, some think it's the best thing since air travel, and of course some people are on the fence- the fencers.

This post is for the fencers.

People on the fence at some point tend to be swung one way or the other, usually influenced by opinions of others or more bothersome, pressurized into participating in activities they'd rather not- which in this case would be the act of sexting.

If you are trying to decide whether or not to add sexting to your romantic life, it's necessary to consider the implications of your decision. Weigh the benefits(pros) and drawbacks(cons) on your partner, conscience, image, relationship and lifestyle. Here are some things to consider before you jump right in or stay right out: 

Pros

Asides from improving your photography and directing skills on some level, sexting has been reported to make couples feel closer and more intimate. Couples in long distance relationships, most especially have benefited from this. It creates tension, excitement, creates that taut feeling of anticipation and all that good stuff.

A study from Drexel University by Dr. Stasko, reported a connection between sexting and sexual satisfaction, as well as relationship satisfaction, for people in long-term, committed relationships.

The same study found that single people reported a lower level of relationship and sexual satisfaction, when compared with  married people.

Cons

May become a meme or go viral

If not properly managed, photos, screenshots of messages, and other content may go viral, become memes and/or end up as a Dropbox link with over 50,000 hits.

Studies show that 17% of sexters forward their sexts, and 55% of these sexters send it to multiple recipients...just because sharing is caring. If this occurs, there's a higher chance that grandma will see it.

Maybe hacked into

While some of us are just trying to have a good time on the internet, there are also people who are on there to hack, harass and blackmail. It's important to be aware that hackers are able to access our data, if we don't put proper systems in place. According to TIME, one solution is to switch on the "two-step verification"option on your phone and apps. This provides a barrier against hackers and keeps those sultry face-pouts safe.  

May become someone's wallpaper...forever

The sext recipient has this content forever and can do whatever they want with it- make post stamps, stickers, posters, banners, postcards, Christmas cards. Just saying. Not to mention their grandma could see it too!

On my first day at Business School, the IT department gave a quick presentation about our tech-related lives in affiliation with school and life, in general. They provided information about our online platform, taught us the importance of using complex passwords, the relevance of our social media presence, cyber footprint, and of course, as in any fun presentation- the topic of sexting came up. We were adviced to hold off on it as much as we had the power to. Sometimes, things go south.

One minute he's buying you roses, the next you are sending all-a-that into his phone, then you break up and Mr. Hyde suddenly goes into his lab with your sexy all-a-that photos and unleashes vengeance by attaching that jpeg file to everyone on his friend list! It's important to note that relationships have life cycles and things change. There have been too many cases of sextees using material as blackmail or bullying material after a break up. 

This may be in part,  why single people seem to report a lower rate of satisfaction after sexting experiences. More research would be required to find out why they really aren't too delighted. 

Still, it appears sexting does hold benefits for married couples. However, it's important to manage messages properly and securely, and to be aware of the susceptibility of electronic content to hacking and accidental discovery. It might help to provide several barriers of security such as passwords, "hide" option, the fingerprint security option. Why? Because leaving photos lying around in your memory card, unprotected is probably not a good idea, anyone could stumble on it- your friends, your colleagues,  that-person-we-all-know-who-you-show-one-photo-to-but-just-keeps-scrolling-through-your-photos *side eye*, your kids and of course, grandma.

With the pros and cons all laid out, fencers, what'd you say?

What are your thoughts? Would love to know!  

She Blogs | Super Shero Tega

SuperShero Tega

Location: Dubai

Blog url: Tegaenai.com

Blog Genre: Fashion and Lifestyle

Tega's blog makes me happy. Just simply that- happy. It's helpful. It's fresh. She genuinely writes from her heart and you can tell from reading her posts- whether she's teaching how to wear loose-fitting clothes or how to edit your instagram photos like a pro or just kicking you out of a discouragement rut, this blogger slays. (Are we still using slay in 2017? Please help) 

Remember, this is a laid back, hair down, lazing in PJs kinda interview! Here she is!

A Nigerian song you’d love to karaoke to?

TE: I have a couple!

Tekno – Wash; 2face – Ole, African Queen; 9ice – Gongo Aso, Street Credibility; MI – Safe

I'm old-school. That's quality music there!

PGI: Love Gongo Aso! And Street Cred! I sang Street Cred in the shower just last week.

Your 15-year old niece is going out on a date for the first time. You can only say one word to her, what would it be?

TE: No Kissing!

PGI: Hahaha! Aunty Tega, that's two words!

What movie makes you cry all the time?

TE: The Fault in Our Stars – My favourite movie of all time. Even the book makes me cry. 

Imagine your best friend is a guy. He's getting married, he puts you in charge of his Bachelor's Eve planning. What type of party would you organize?

T.E: No strippers! We have to protect his wife's Interest, so let's give no room for temptation. But it’s definitely going to be a crazy party.

PGI: Shouldn't we have more women on Bach Eve Planning committees? Someone looking out for our interests *pensive*

“Can not blog without..."

T.E: The Internet..

The most embarrassing nickname you've ever had

None really, I’ve been lucky. I had really cute nicknames like "Sweet" because I was the sweetest baby ever, "Smilie" because I smiled all the time. Most of my friends call me "Mama", which I love also, because it gives me a sense of responsibility. I love to play mother hen, so the name suits me perfectly.

If you were a guy, what would be your signature pick-up line?

"You’re a real gift, you’d give my life a lift" I don’t know if this should be considered a pick up line but it sounds pretty good to me.

This line is from the MTN Sunshine advert, I loved it back then, still do. It stuck ever since and gives me goosebumps all the time (I actually just watched it on YouTube again for the billionth time). For a long time I hope to have a man as romantic as Jerry in my life. *laughs*

PGI: I remember that ad! "Oh Jerry...tantantatatararan MTN everywhere you go!" 

Nails are currently colored…….?

T.E : No color. I admire cute long Manicures on other girls but my nails are too soft, after a week it starts to get green. Taking the nails off is too painful, and I always end up hurting myself. If I decide to polish them directly, they start turning green in 2 days and start peeling off. The struggle is real!  So, I have my nails bare most of the time except on special occasions like my birthday. That’s the only time I actually got my nails fixed in 2016! 

Truth or Dare?

TE: It depends. If I'm playing with crazy people, I respect myself and choose "Truth".  Otherwise, "Dare"- and I make the rules before we start!

The most awesome thing about being Nigerian?

TE: Nigerians are loved. We’ve set a global standard for ourselves through our work and talent. When I tell people I am Nigerian, some people ask, "Do you know this comedian? – ooo I love him/her so much", or "I love this Nigerian music", or "I have a Nigerian friend that’s so nice to me". Then I smile and have that ‘I am proud to be Nigerian moment'.

PGI: Thanks for making us proud Nigerians with your work, Tega! 

Stop by Tega's blog today and binge-read! Have a great weekend!