One Thing Every Creative, Parent, Spouse and Entrepreneur Should Know

I am my own biggest critic. I probably edit a piece of creative work more than I should and just when I'm done, I realize, "Nope, I can't possibly be done, that line just isn’t good enough", "That expression fails to communicate", I'd rumple my electronic sheet of paper and start all over. Of course, I'd continue to poke and cringe at it for ages even after it's published.

Everyone who has ever created or invented something-no matter how seemingly minute- has probably criticized their creation on some level. For sure, it's important to be uncomfortable with mediocre work but at the same time, we must be sure that we see the good in what we do, much more than we see the bad (Creatives, Selah).

Well, that wasn't me a few weeks ago. Critique-extraordinaire was my compound middle name, and if I had written something as awesome as the Ulysses or The Great Gatsby, I wouldn't have known. I would probably have burnt it or deleted it (if I was feeling less dramatic). I became so critical that I lost the sight of the good (spouses out there, Selah!). Anyway, as always, I was stopped in my tracks when I stumbled on this scripture:

“And He created the *insert creature*…and God saw that it was good.” Genesis 1:4; 10; 12; 18; 21; 25; 31.

Every day that God created something new, He saw that it was good. Granted, He's the grand master of all creators and creation, and everything He could ever make will be good, but He could have chosen to see how huge my nose is (which is perfect, by the way) or thought the sky was too blue or not blue enough after it rains. He chose to see good. He created, saw the good and moved on to create more! He saw the good in you. He sees the good in us, everyday.

When you create, take some time to stop and actually look at the wonder you have produced and consciously see the good in it. See the good in your creation, in your toil, in your kids(yup, they are creations too technically). See the good in your idea (Hey, Entrepreneurs). Yes, that one idea.

Go for it.

It is good.

I would love to know your thoughts! How does this message apply to you life? I'm pretty sure is transcends many more life roles than those in the title! 

PGI's May Girl: Ufuoma (The Organized Bride)

PGI's feature for the month of May is the beautiful, ambitious bride-to-be Ufuoma Ukueku! She talks about working in Real Estate, planning her wedding and how she deals with marriage horror stories!

Many brides have wedding planners and if they don't, they, at least have 5 different notepads where they scribble all their wedding ideas and plans or a scrapbook or Pinterest board. Ufuoma Ukueku is a different type of bride, one who is very keen on detail and plans to have a flawless, hitch-free wedding without a wedding planner! She applies her vocational skills to her wedding planning in a super-impressive way. She's blessed with fab planning skills, a trait she apparently got from her mum! Where was Ufuoma when I was planning my wedding and forgot to pick up my cake! Lol!

About her crazy organizational skills

What do you do for work?

I work as the Assistant General Manager of a Real Estate company in Lagos

How do you balance your busy lifestyle with your wedding planning?

I prioritize, analyze my tasks. I tend to take everything I do as a project, applying my management skills and knowledge to them. I manage well, balancing my personal life, work and wedding plans

Have you had any Bridezilla moments?

Not yet. I'm hoping not to! (laughs)

How many bridesmaids do you have?

I have 11 bridesmaids! (laughs)

Have you asked them if you've been showing any Bridezilla signs?

I haven't. I should ask them.

How do you keep a tab on your wedding planning? Do you have a wedding planner?

I actually don’t have a wedding planner. Excel spread sheets are the best wedding planner tool anyone could have! My work has taught me to plan, document and track progressions in any project, in this case, the wedding plans. I have an excel document with different sheets for various things I need to plan for. I just need to check every week to make sure nothing has been forgotten, then from time to time I show the document to my friends so they can contribute, so I don’t miss out anything .

From Ufuoma's doc

Pretty amazing! Are you a natural planner?

Yes, I am. Majorly influenced by my mum. She is super-organized; the best planner I know. She has a file for the wedding with "Seyi and Ufuoma" written on it! (Laughs) She saves programmes from weddings, documents everything as it progresses and is very hands-on with the preparations which I really appreciate.

Your dress! How did you find it? How many dresses did you have to try on?

My dress! My dress! People say it's difficult finding a dress but I always told myself that it would not be difficult for me.

It was helpful that I knew what I wanted already! I tried on about 6 dresses. The first store I went to is called Perfect Bridal Occasion. I had seen a dress they made for a bride on a friend's display picture. I felt the lady wearing the dress and I had similar figures, so i made inquiries about the dress, went for a fitting and that was it!

The only reason that i tried other dresses after finding this one was to get a sense of pricing on wedding dresses in general. The store stylist asked me to go to other stores to have an idea what their prices were like relative to the quality of the dresses and in all honesty I did not see any thing better. So I stuck with this one regardless of the price. I found it about 6 months before the wedding!

What do you love the most about it (the dress)? (Don't spill anything you don't want us to know)

I particularly like the fact that it’s very fitted, I have always loved body-con dresses.

What do you think are the top three things a girl needs to have to be well-put-together?

Great hair, Glam heels, Shaped eyebrows

What's your morning beauty routine?

Foundation and eyebrows are super important to me

Are you on a diet for the wedding?

To be honest, i'm always on one diet or the other, its already a way of life for me. Yeah, I would say i am on a diet

Shoes or Handbags?

Shoessss! Anyday, any time. ( I give all my bags out all the time. I have about 2 bags left and i'm like what is the point of buying bags)

Shoe-colour preference?

The family of purple (purple, lilac, magenta , plum)

About her wonderful job!

Did you choose your industry or did your industry choose you?

Well, I would say both based on the circumstances of the employment. I met my boss on a project that I was working on at the time and he offered me a job!

Why did you choose your industry?

It was all just me following that inner voice saying, "this is an opportunity of a life time".

What do you love the most about your job?

I love that ownership quality that comes with working here. Even though, it's not my company, i still feel responsible for the outcomes of certain decisions made. I love everything about my job, really! It’s the best decision I have ever made (laughs) This is not for my employer o! I mean it.

How have you developed your skills and knowledge of Real Estate?

Experience. I work in the construction aspect of Real Estate. A lot people think its only when you are an engineer that you can understand construction- that's so not true. Experience is our best friend and for the past 5 years, I have been learning and getting better at it .

What would you change about your industry?

Improved skills for artisans; I'd like to set up a training school for them. They have the enthusiasm and energy to work but they have very low level skills which could have adverse effects in construction. It's something that should be looked into in Nigeria.

About marriage and twerks!

What are you looking forward to the most in marriage?

Really looking forward to actually living with my best friend

How long have you and Seyi been together?

5 and half years

About 3 years ago, I had a conversation with you about your goals as a couple. I still remember very clearly. You guys set goals you hoped to achieve before you got married! Have you set your goals as a married couple yet?

Well, yes we have been working on our goals for marriage and the marriage counseling classes have also helped us redirect some goals as well.

Have you heard any marriage horror stories?

Yes, I have, especially couples that did not get married from their tribe(my fiancé is Yoruba). We hear all sorts but for some reasons people also say Deltas don’t really attach tribal issues to anything, so for me, it doesn't bother me or maybe it's because of the person I am getting married to

How do you deal with these stories?

Just prayers and working on my relationship daily. 

Have you ever tried twerking?

Hmm, yes o! (Laughs) I used to know how to dance in the past!

Kilishi or plantain chips? Let's see where you are on the Vegetarian-Carni spectrum!

Plantain chips any day, that kilishi ‘s pepper can kill (laughs)

What would you say to your 20 year old self?

"Well-done for taking great opportunities at a very early age and well-done for setting good morals and values but we could have done better."

What would you say to your 30 year old self?!

"30 is the new 20s, so stay positive and aim for better"

4 Things I Learnt...

1. Take your work home with you, i.e apply some work skills in your personal life too (except, of course, if you are a wrestler)

2. As you grow vocationally, don't forget to develop subordinates and junior staff

3. Ufuoma hands out bags; i love bags....we should work something out

4. We eventually become our mums (tell me about it!) Love you mum! Happy Mothers' Day!

Thank you so much, Ufuoma, for being PGI's May girl! ! We wish you all the blessings of God in that thrilling adventure called marriage! Love you loads!!

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How to Turn Down a Job Offer like a Boss

Skills needed: Interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence, communication

Turning down a job offer is like saying 'No' to a guy or girl who just asked you out on a date. It's just all so sensitive and "egg-shell-y" and probably requires just a little more tact than if you were accepting the job. Why? Well, because the asking party is usually the vulnerable party, plus mismanaging the situation could end up unprofitably for you. So tread softly and say 'No' gracefully, bearing in mind that the future is a crazy plexus of opportunities and you never know who you might meet down the road. Make sure your "No" doesn't have a finite tone to it and whatever you do, one thing should always be at the back of your mind, "future relationships and opportunities".

Below are 5 tips to consider when turning down a job offer:

(1) Be grateful for the opportunity and express it.

(2) Say "No" like you'd say "Yes". If you can, show up in person to turn down the offer, otherwise call in. An email or text should be the last resort. No getting back to them at all is not an option.

(3) Be honest about the reason you are turning down the offer. Better prospects, better renumeration, commute distance, whatever it is, let them know. They just might let you work from home, match that paycheck and promise you a promotion in 2 months! Wouldn't that be perfect?! They might even throw in a travel package and a pet dolphin!

(4) Be assertive about your decision. Be certain that you really don't want the job. Going back and forth leaves you looking inconsistent and may impact future relationships with the organization.

(5) Leave the communication channels open. Connect with your interviewer and other key people you interacted with during the candidate selection process on professional platforms like LinkedIn, if that's ok with them. Be sure to recommend people who you think might fit the role you so gracefully turned down....like a boss.

Did I leave anything out? Please, add below!

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How to Give Advice

 #1 Don't

*Supposed End of post*

What do you think though? Do you give advice often? How does it play out? How often is your 2 cents really appreciated, especially in complicated situations; take advising a mistress or side-chic as an example. If you know any, do you honestly think she'd take your advice?

Side-chics get advised more often than a juvenile delinquent. Everyone wants to chip in and tell Stella that dating the married guy is suicide....and in some cases, Stella, it is. It really is. Don't say we didn't tell you.

The best thing to do in my opinion is not to advice or at least learn to advice properly; whether financial, career, marital, weight management, parenting advice. It has to be done right. It takes a lot of maturity and self-control to effectively advice a person and have the person really listen and see your point. Seeing someone doing something wrong and taking the time to provide reasonable, loving advice takes ALOT.  If you insist that #1 is not an option and this person is really important to you, ensure its done right and read on!

#2 Have the right motive: Your motive should be to encourage, to lift, not to tear down. Your advice should be communicated in love and with the utmost respect, not with malice or in derision. If your motive is to show that  you are superior, or to scorn or to gloat refer to #1

#3 Don't speak without planning out your thoughts. The great thing about thoughts is that they reflect themselves in your speech. If you aren't coming from a good place, it definitely will be obvious in your choice of words. Sort your mind out first before talking to someone else about their issues.

#4 Never ever start off with "I told you so" or "You should know better" or "A word of advice". Those conversation-starters are dynamite! They get a person defensive and slight impenetrable to your well-wishing words.

#5 Be patient. People don't naturally like advice, so take it slowly, very slowly and speak plainly. If you aren't a patient person, don't bother; refer to #1

#6 If you really must advice, make sure it's not condescending

We aren't any better than anyone else. We are just privy to some information which we are fortunate to be able to share. If "Condescending" is your middle name, refer to #1 

Did I miss anything? Share below! 

Get your own Business Idea in 6 Steps!

Developing a business idea is probably the simplest part of starting a business. Forget the belief that you have to be extraordinarily smart or be a mad scientist to invent something or to be innovative. Bleh, forget it! What you really need is an understanding of yourself and of the market you are trying to get into and from there, sprouts your business idea! *pop*

According to the Entrepreneur (and my Entrepreneurship teacher), a business idea is simply finding a solution to a problem within a market!

There are three main ways of developing your business idea:

• You identify a need in the community and you create a business plan around that or;
• You capitalize on your skills and create a need or;
• You build on an existing business concept!

All three ways aim to solve a problem within a market. Now dropping all business school lingo, here are 6 steps to building a business idea:

1. Scribble down the things you love to do; or something you are really good at; or a task you hope to achieve by acquiring the skills required.  It could be cooking, creating craft, solving problems, playing games, sports, climbing trees, whatever. Scribble. Scribble. It's important that you build your business idea on something that you love to do.

2. Ask yourself "What need is present in my community that can be met with my skills or with this passion that I have?" To help you along with an answer to that, imagine something that annoys you on a daily basis in your everyday life; for example, waiting for the bus. Ask yourself, how can i improve this process of waiting for this *insert adjective* bus?

Then ask yourself, "How can i improve this process and get PAID for it?"  Don't be afraid to answer this question too. People make money, they want to spend money; true they like good deals but that's another post entirely.

3. Do some research on how the market (people & transactions) might respond to your idea. This might involve surveys, interviews, general interactions with the community finding out what their needs really are. From this step, you might find affirmations to your answers to Q2 or more information about what people really need!

4. Implement your grand idea but start small. You don't want to invest too much at first. Plus, the earlier you introduce cost containment systems in your business, the easier it is to ensure your overheads (expenses) don't go crazy in the future! Start small, remember "lean is the new robust".

5. Pay attention to the market trends and know your competition. Know what the other tree-climbers are doing and how they are improving. Don't spend all your time focusing on them though, that's the perfect path to being unproductive.

6. Keep learning like your business depends on it....because it does. Continuous learning is the spinach to your business. Never stop learning and keep figuring out ways to improve on your business.

P.s (1) Scribble down even the crazy ideas (2) Don't pay ALL your attention to the other tree-climbers (3) Develop your skills daily (4) Develop other talents

What are your thoughts on starting a business? Do you have a business you are trying to improve? Do you obsess over other tree-climbers?

PGI's January Girl - Joko

I met Joko 6 years ago within the walls of NYSC Lagos orientation camp, Iyana Ipaja. Of course, we spent all free our time in Mammy market, eating indomie and drinking Berry blast on those hot, lazy harmattan afternoons and at night we nibbled pancakes or skewered suya with Milo (little wonder we got fat in camp LOL!). Who says serving the country is not fun?

Anyway, i met this bubbly, fun girl who was an entrepreneur and had mentioned this fact in the first 5 minutes of us meeting. Entrepreneurs my age, 6 years ago, were pretty rare, so i uuuuuuh-ed and aaaaaaah-ed in wonder, in my head. Also, much to my amazement, she had brought along with her to Ipaja, her newly printed business cards, which she handed out to anyone who cared to receive them. For the first time, i was observing a real business owner first hand, networking and actively building a business! It was thrilling and inspiring. She was completely oblivious to the effect she had on me but I think she might have sowed a crazy entrepreneurial seed in me that day. It has been more than a delight seeing her business grow and her passion and hard work payoff over the years.  

Jokotade Omojirade Shonowo is the girl behind the renowned PoshClick Portraiture and this exceptionally talented business woman is PGI’s January Girl! She has a Bachelors degree in Microbiology from Olabisi Onabanjo University and made a career change to photography in 2010!

Ok, time to hang with Joko! And we are going straight to the point of this post with the first question!

Joko................Gala or plantain chips?

Plantain Chips

(You can tell a lot about a person from the answer to that question)

How long have you been a professional photographer?

About 6 years now

How did you know this was what you wanted to be and how did you make the career transition?

It wasn't cast in stone from day 1 but I definitely had an unwavering passion for photography and I pursued it against the odds.
I pretty much started photography actively during my service year in 2010 whilst serving at Recreate Consult as the Client Service Representative.

What was the model of your first camera?

Canon 400D

[Thief: Your camera or your phone?
Joko: ?]

My Phone.... In fact, none😂😂😂

Your favorite Photography mentors or blogs?

Ty Bello , Sue Bryce , Elizabeth Messina and Susan Stripling

Where is your favorite place to visit?

Seychelles

Is PoshClick like your second baby?

PoshClick is actually my first baby but of course it had to move over for Demilicious to assume her rightful position.

How many photos of Demi do you have? Rough estimate

Over 5,000

Is she ever there while you work?

Yes, sometimes. In fact, she went with me to a product shoot last week and was extremely good. She’s mummy's little helper😘😘😘

What are your hours like?

I have 20 hour-work-days. I'm a walking zombie sometimes.

How do you get yourself out of bed after a long night working?

I would rather sleep in but the only thing that drags me out of bed after a long work night is a DEADLINE.

What do you love the most about your job?

Finding beauty through my lenses

9 pm, Thursday night what are you doing?

Spending time with family

What was the last item you bought ?

Cod Liver Oil - Orange Flavour

What do you sing in the shower?

Nothing- I’m always quiet, I strategize in the shower

Lagos traffic survival kit?

Good Music/ Good Company , Gum and Water

4 THINGS I LEARNT

1. Do what you love and Network! Even Iyana ipaja NYSC camp is a great networking platform. Who knew?!
2. Set deadlines for yourself and sometimes, be quiet in the shower (Note to Self, Ike!)
3. Follow your Dreams, even as a mum!
4. Orange flavored cod-liver oil exists, i can’t even begin to ask whose idea that was

Thank you so much, Jokotade, for being PGI's January Girl!!! Love you loads!

PoshClick Portraiture:

Phone: +2348023655153

Instagram @poshclick

PGI loves to honor everyday people who inspire. The great news is, we are all capable of inspiring! Do you know someone who inspires? Click here and share with us!