Drafts
I have been working on a short story series which has somewhat grown into this colossal giant on me. It was supposed to be published weeks ago, but now I’m at this place where the protagonist is standing on quick sand in a river, shin-deep, with arrows pointed at her from the shore and crocodiles napping at her ankles and head
I have been working on a short story series which has somewhat grown into this colossal giant on me. It was supposed to be published weeks ago, but now I’m at this place where the protagonist is standing on quick sand in a river, shin-deep, with arrows pointed at her from the shore and crocodiles napping at her ankles and head! Whatever is going to happen?! Gasp!
Only my fingers know.
My brain doesn’t know. My fingers know everything.
Well, my fingers and the protagonist.
I’d love to be a published author and sell many, many books. I’d like to share my world with many strangers, family and friends. I hear most times your friends/family actually don’t read or buy your book. That’s the worst. It used to bother me in the past that some of my friends wouldn’t read my blog, but not so much anymore. Those who do already mean a lot to me and my parents read it and ask after it, so...
Recent inquires from my mom:
Mom: Pages by Ike, why can’t I open your email on my phone? (She calls me Pages by Ike) Lol.
Mom: In “Lafia”, what happened? What did the dog see?
Side eye. Describing a sex scene to your mom is not what every writer has ever dreamt about.
It’s like George R.R Martin’s mom asking, “What did the little Stark boy see before he fell off the tower?!”
“Err…you see mom, Cersi and Jamie are twins but…”
I don’t remember how I cringed my way out of that one, but I am grateful she reads it, and my dad reads it too!
I am grateful for all you who read my blog. You must either really like me, really like literary work, or really dislike me. I hope it’s the second. Seriously, your readership has developed my writing extensively, and for that I am grateful.
Have the best week!
“The dustbin is your friend. It was invented for you... by God!”
Margaret Atwood, On writing
Photo by Ed Adegboye (Taken 2016)
Back in the Saddle with a Car Seat
I’m back. I say that too often. But I am. Back in the blogging saddle, baby. The only difference now is that I have a car seat behind my proverbial saddle. I have a little one. A mini Ed. Best feeling.
Describe the feeling? It’s like heaven, hard work and fun had a baby, that baby is the feeling of having a baby. I’ve confused us all. Haven’t I? Shrug.
So the big question, “Ike, are we going to start seeing titles such as ‘5 positions to burp your baby while in a car seat’ or ‘8 ways to purée avocados and beets’?”
No.
I’m still the same ol’ me! Only now I have superior skills in multi-tasking, clipping tiny baby nails , doing the Rafikki baby-lift while singing 'Circle of life' and singing non-traditional lullabies remixes of actual nursery rhymes, worship songs, and Daft Punk (It is the sci-fi age after all).
I may mention mamahood sometimes but predominantly, it’s still fiction, love, and God for you and me. Oh, glee.
The Man who sits on My Sofa at 5.30 AM
At 5.30am, just before the sky turns honey-amber, right there, in the dark space of my living room, sits a man, on my sofa. His posture is regal but alert, like he is poised for something, like he's anticipating.
He is still for most of the time, his pupils are fully dilated, his ears attentive, his skin cool from the conditioned air, his senses accommodate all they can in this dark room.
In the still silence, he says nothing. If he was anything like me, he would cross his legs several times, or make a fuss in his seat, searching frantically for a distraction. He sees my pile of magazines, a little smile lights his face but he makes no move to pacify the discomfort of his wait.
Suddenly, he hears a rustle from my bedroom, he sits up with a start. He is hopeful. He cocks his head to the side, he holds his breath, then wills himself to breathe.
Photo credit: David Bragdon
The rustling stops and the silence returns.
He remains still on my sofa. Now the sun is peeking from the base of the sky, its rays streaking flamboyantly.
It's 6.30. Vibrations take over the ambience. My phone vibrates from the closet, where I have put it. I do this to ensure I get up, walk to it and turn it off, "the walk will wake me up," I always tell people, it will. My Fitbit violently vibrates against my wrist.
He is sure I will wake up now and see in a glance, the man who sits on my sofa at 5.30. The vibrations go on for a few minutes. His head is cocked again. His breath is held. He hears a dull thump, as my feet swing off the bed and hit the floor in a groggy stance.
He hears shuffling, I'm making my way to the vibrating phone. He is sure I will come out to the living room now. The phone stops.
He hears quick steps go into the bathroom; a flush; a rushed fall of barefoot steps; a rustle of bed fabric.
Then silence.
He stares out of my window at the sun and waits.
At 6.45am, I stumble out of my room. I stop short and stare at my empty sofa.
Wait.
I'm forgetting something.
No!
I forgot something.
I was supposed to meet with Him at 5.30am!
How did I forget?
I'm sorry that I stood you up for the umpteenth time, J-bae*. I sit dejected on my sofa. I should have set 6 alarms, I should have splashed some water on my face. I should have done the jumping jacks. I should have...
With every preemptive tip, I feel myself sink heavily into the soft cushions, my shoulders droop, my eye shut into slits. We were supposed to meet and talk like we always do, but I wouldn't get out of bed...and now he's gone away.
He's gone.
I lay my head on the side of my sofa, ashamed to pray or sing.
Then I feel it...a warmth, a glow, it surrounds me. It draws me in, like arms. It's so warm, my face breaks into a smile.
He isn't gone.
He is here.
He never left. ♥️
**One day, the word bae will become completely obsolete, but till then, J-bae, for me, is none other than Jesus!
Related post: The obvious solution to doze-praying; Think Thomas; God's soprano voice and twerks
8 Life-Love Skills to Teach Our sons
Before my sons jump out the front door and begin life as godly, independent, skillful, ground-breakingly smart and attractively hot members of the society, I'd love to teach them a few life skills. I feel like girls get to be taught all the soft skills and the guys get left out. Well, that shouldn't be, plus they aren't just soft skills but actual life-preserving skills especially #1, #3 and #8. I'd really appreciate if you could contribute to the list. Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. How to bake a mean cake (and cook Efo riro and sea food gumbo,oh and to clean up)
Nothing beats the acquisition of the basic life skills that keep you alive-cooking and good hygiene. Tag us as cheap and having low standards, but every girl loves a guy who can cook. As early as he can learn, teach your son the value of being able to boil more than just an egg. Any guy who can evoke gustatory-ecstasy and clean, please make him president.
2. How to be proud of his identity (and his passport)
The decision to understand and embrace our identities is reflected in our speech, actions and eventually in our children. They listen to us intently, and the mould their psyche and values around those expressions. No matter where you are from, you were destined to be a nova and to impact lives because you are from that part of the planet. If your son can understand that he can be relevant in whatever community he finds himself using his innate skills and identity, then it only makes you a proud parent and the world a better place!
3. That he must forget the stiffy and let her go at the slightest stiffen (and that 'No' means 'No'. Seriously)
"Iassumed that she was playing hard to get. You know how 'No' really means 'Yes'?" That's the opening statement for many rapists as they get debriefed by their lawyers. A statement based on the most unreasonable assumptions. We need to teach our sons that the slightest show of reluctance from a woman means "back off". Honestly, even if she comes back begging and naked, umm...sorry, keep stepping.
4. How to serve (and buy someone else a pair of sneaks for a change)
The best leaders are servants. The worst of them are self-centered, selfish, concerned about their own gain and wait around to be served. Boys, from, a very young age must learn to serve others, be responsible for younger children and their community. Imagine a world where we all teach our kids leadership skills from their toddler years, to care, share and honor others!
5. How to compromise (and the art of putting down the toilet seat, sometimes)
God, in all his wisdom put us in Eden, a place of pleasure which included no toilet seats and doors. Closing door(including microwave doors) and putting down the toilet seat are two things men are known to struggle with. Is it ever too early to teach sons to close doors? I think learning to pee standing and trying to aim already proves exciting enough for them, so putting down the seat is sometimes overlooked and they fail to learn. I plan to teach my son how to compromise or we might just settle it by having swing-doors...do they make swing toilet seats?
6. How to check out a girl and talk to her
Ed says his dad taught him and his brother the art of scoping and sizing up girls! Lol. Of course, both sons and even dad have differing preferences but he taught them to set their preference standards first, when they find the right girl, then, they follow through. I thought that was cool, men should have standards too. Make sure your son's game is tight.
7. How to handle heartbreak, move on (and cry like a boss)
Contrary to general opinion, men aren't getting any younger either and even though they don't have any biological eggs turning into omelettes, their time is also precious. Teach your son to value himself and to know when to initiate his exit strategy in unfavorable, unhealthy situations and relationships. Also teach him that it's ok to cry, that being heartbroken doesn't make him any less of a man and that getting drunk and hung over probably makes it a little worse...especially if he had omelettes the night before.
8. How to be faithful
How do you teach a son not to be a two-timing nuisance that ends up being lynched by 17+ women? I guess as a parent, the best you can do is to reward honesty, teach them to respect commitment and to be emotionally intelligent.
Of course, as parents, we won't be there to teach our kids these things in real time and as they need them, but from their early ages until they grow a weird mustache, a full Moses beard and choose to leave home, we must teach them to be principled, rational, strong yet accessible, endowed with culinary prowess and a heightened sense of honesty and service.
So, I'm not a parent yet but I'm learning to plan ahead and be prepared! Could you help me populate the space below with skills that can be passed down to little boys? Do you agree with the 8 skills? Which is most relevant to you?
Travel: The Weekend New Yorker
Last weekend, I realized why all Marvel-comics fictional villains try to take over New York City. Asides from the fact that Stan Lee, the creator of many Marvel villains is a New Yorker himself and probably chooses his city as the default setting for villain autocracy, New York is pretty amazing and if I was a villain with the long term goal of taking over the world, let's just say NY would be my 5-year starter project. It's like a mini earth, brimming over with so much activity and diversity!
It seems to run on this self-generating energy that feeds off the charged cloud of dissimilarity caused by diversity. I loved it! My ears perked up as I heard a woman speaking in rapid Italian to her son and a few feet from her, clusters of friends speaking French, German and other languages I couldn't decipher. Of course, I was speaking Yoruba too, adding to the cloud of dissimilarity and coolness-hehe.
What we did in New York
Slept like babies
Our Airbnb was situated in Brooklyn, my new crush. It was a peaceful, newly-renovated home with a minimalist design, where we got a lot of night rest. I didn't pull the dresser across the door this time or stare suspiciously at the sheets, but I did bring jollof rice!
Explored Flea market(s)
The Brookyln Flea market was more fun than I expected. Usually, I go to open markets for the sizzling food served out of the trucks and the tangy fruit drinks but I actually didn't remember to eat during this expedition.
I also bought a frog-brooch, well, my brother-in-law, Kenny bought it for me. I stood there deliberating whether I was eccentric and rich enough to wear it. Then he got tired of waiting and paid for it. I’m still deliberating! We, very well, could have been there at that stall up until this very moment.
Frog in question👀
♥️
Walked the Brooklyn bridge
The 1.1 mile (1.6 km) long bridge was a highlight. We walked from Brooklyn into Manhattan and loved every second of it, even when it began to drizzle. For a minute, I stood on the bridge and watched the cars pass swiftly below.
They always say New Yorkers are on the go, they don't care, they hurry past and ignore you but as I looked down, a woman in her car, of course, bored in the newly formed traffic, blew me a kiss and waved cheerfully at me. I guess they are wrong about the New Yorkers, then?
Bought "impromptu shoes"
After walking on the bridge in block heels. It happened! My feet went to sleep, so I had to find inexpensive flats. We ventured into China town-by now, I'm all but crawling on the floor. Lol. Who sent me? My sister-in-law and I eventually got a pair of inexpensive, impromptu shoes each. We fell in love with our shoes, maybe because they rescued us*shrug* Mine has quickly become my default shoes this season. I guess wearing the wrong pair of shoes out might have its perks. Wish i could buy impromptu handbags, hmm. *Pensive*
Flea market Tea break
I downloaded AirPnp
Guys, Airbnb's bathroom cousin, Airpnp is probably more genius than anything I've ever seen. There I was in our second flea market of the weekend and then *ting* I had to go. It didn't help that I had woken up that morning determined to meet my 3 liter a day target and I'm a bit of an over-achiever at the oddest times! Anyway, I was in the middle of an outdoor market and I couldn't find a public rest room. It was then I downloaded Airpnp with the speed that'll make light give me the side-eye. As I filled in my login details for this app which would direct me to the nearest rented home bathroom, I found a public restroom right in front of me after minutes of loitering and searching frantically! I didn't get to use my app. Anyway, I'm sure I'll get a chance to, on one of my over-achieving days in the near future.
Didn't get to eat out
I know, who doesn't eat out in NYC? Even hot dogs would have sufficed but we didn't get the chance. We walked by all the restaurants and hot dog vendors when we weren't hungry and then we got hungry on Broadway. We also were unanimously hungry for Thai, which made it more complicated. We eventually found a place, which had a waiting time of 2 hours. 2 hours. I blinked once, muttered a "thank you" and spun on my heels. "Back to our Airbnb!" We ordered Thai on the phone (another long story) but we had dinner eventually! Last weekend was an adventure nothing less.
Would i go back there? Umm yuh-uh, of course! Planned another trip already.
Jaw-dropping experience: I met a New Yorker squirrel, who by the way, is a little bit of a terror and chases humans. These city rodents smh
Were the people nice? In my experience, they were. The uber driver was too nice (and didn't play a harmonica), I got my watch strap fixed for free and I got a kiss blown at me- never gotten that anywhere.
Did I feel inspired by being in New York? Yes, I believe I was inspired. "Concrete jungle where dreams are made of**", yeah?
Have you ever been to New York? Do you live in New York? What's your favorite part and activity?
Related Posts: What happens in Vegas; 5 strange things i do in an Airbnb
**Line from Empire State of Mind-JayZ & Alicia Keys
Do You Practice any of these 5 Eating Habits?
Apparently, you are not only what you eat, you are also how you eat. Sometimes, i wonder what all the fuss is about with eating healthy, exercising and why my Fitbit nags me all the time. I'd like to be left alone on a raft with an endless supply of food! Then i remember my health goals for 87, which is to be a hot granny! Who is with me? Here are 5 eating habits that promote healthy lifestyles. Do you already practice any of these habits? If you do, please share below!
1. Chewing slowly
Are you the last to finish at the dinner table because you chew like a snail? Apparently, it's a great habit!
Studies show that chewing slowly has tremendous health benefits. It helps to relieve stress, to maintain a healthy weight and to maximize caloric consumption! Chewing properly also takes the pressure off your gastrointestinal tract (GIT) during digestion. This is because well-masticated food digests easier and promotes GIT health.
2. The Apple test
If you already do this, you are probably on your path to several clean bills of health!
Recently, I discovered that asking myself if I'm hungry before opening the fridge might be the key to healthier eating. Eating is a response to hunger, not a hobby (this I discovered, much to my distress, sigh. Lol). Hunger and satisfaction are regulated by a mechanism in the brain, located in the hypothalamus. Excessive eating murks up this feedback process and at a point it's hard to tell if you are hungry or satiated. To know if you are hungry, ask yourself if you'd like an apple. If the answer is No, chances are that you aren't hungry. (Healthy snacks such as nuts and fruits help to manage hunger during the day in between meals)
3. Developing healthy eating habits while young
Young. Bet you are past that category, huh? According to a study at Stanford University, the most effective diets and eating habits are diets which begin when you are young. Evidence shows that developing healthy eating habits at a young age helps to increase life expectancy! This would include eating a balanced diet complete with fibers and loads of water and reduced carbonated drinks. Also see #6. Why didn't anyone tell me this years ago? Does it still count at my age? I'm young, right? In my opinion, it's never too late to begin!
4. Savoring your food
Do you take your time with your meals, consciously acknowledging all the explosive flavors that occur in your mouth?
Savoring your meals boosts your mood and helps to regulate your food portions. When we eat, our senses come alive and savoring the experience helps the brain to store it as a memory. This stored memory helps to manage portion control and binge-eating. It's the voice that tells you, 'You just ate...20 minutes ago. Ahem.'
5. Reducing TV-dinner time combo
Watching TV while eating might be killing 2 birds with the same stone; it might also be getting you progressively unhealthy. This report from Havard, shows that being distracted while eating increases food portions, which leads to weight gain and subsequently results in obesity .
Another study shows that when the event of eating is associated with the event of TV watching, then every time you switch on the TV, your brain thinks it's time to eat! This is known as habituation, the TV becomes a stimulus to the hunger center in your brain(same as in #2), which leads to overeating, an increase in caloric intake and subsequent weight gain. This is so true, we haven't used our dining table in like 2 weeks! I also find myself planning multiple snack times in my mind once I switch on the Tv! Hehe. I definitely have to dissociate those two activities.
Do you think up multi-snack opportunities while you watch TV too? Do you already practice any of these habits?
P.s I found the remote by the way! Spring cleaning rocks!
Feb-o-mania! Catch the Bug
Welcome to February! Remember 31 days ago, when we were estatic about January, well, clearly we are over that now! Sayonara, January! February is here, the month of heightened flirtations, torrid redezvous, weirdly shaped candies and all that good stuff!
However, before we get carried away with February's red-panic and the crazy frenzy, we need to start off the right way......I'm going to ask you a question which you are required to answer, a question you probably weren't expecting me to ask; a question you would be glad I'm not there to ask you in person because it would be weird, the air would get heavy and we'd both be very uncomfortable. Ok, are you ready? Here goes..........
'Do you love me?'
I'd appreciate if you answer honestly and out loud.
Just in case you didn't know, you ARE supposed to love me, just like you love yourself, but then you already knew that. It's the greatest power that ever will be, not to mention the most difficult and the most unnatural human trait. Love is a higher become-a-better-me kinda calling but it's worth it in the end because it always protects you!
It makes us immune to evil, it protects our minds from getting easily hurt and jaded. It keeps us sane and helps us get through the most tumultuous of situations.
However, most of us know love in theory but fail in its practicals. We fail to actively, creatively and intentionally love the people in our lives the way we should.
So, since I'm the largest culprit of all (guilty face and rosy cheeks), here's what I'm doing for the whole month, I'm taking my phone contacts, starting from the first person with the name beginning with "A" and I'm finding ways to love everyone uniquely. I'm calling it the Feb-o-mania! Love is not a one-size-fits-all, it's deliberate and tailored. Let's love, just as such.
Have a great February ahead.....and don't think I didn't hear you mumbling "Yes" to that question. **Blush** I love you too!
Feb-o-mania plans? Share! How would you show you love to friends and family? What do they appreciate the most? How does this fit into your love techniques for them?
OMS- I Laugh At These Skinny Girls
Off my shelf (OMS), today, is Tolu Akinyemi's exquisitely crafted poetry collection, "I Laugh At These Skinny Girls." Poetry for People Who Hate Poetry.
He literally just made poetry accessible to those of us that zoned-out and nodded our way through Ulysses in Literature class. Wait....did we read Ulysses? I can't even remember but we read a bunch of JP Clarks, I think.
I can assure you, if Tolu's book was a literature book in SS2, my arm would be permanently raised in Literature class.....instead of the eye-dodging professional I became with my Lit. teacher. The fiction selection was a bit zone-out-friendly too...
Teacher: Have you all read chapter 1 to 3 of Anthills of the Savannah?
Students (chorus of lies): Yesssssss!
Teacher: Ike, mention 5 themes from Anthills of the Savannah.
Me: *Zoned out already, thinking about Britney Spears new song* Errrrr.......Ants?
*Blink*
Rough times.
Anyway, if you love poetry, you'll love it and if you hate poetry, so would you! If you like being amused, it's packed with wit, while touching on significant and current issues in our society, so get a copy here or there!
This is not a sponsored post. I just read like a nerd.