6 Things (plus 1) to do with Your Wedding Dress
What do brides do with their wedding dresses after the wedding? Umm...nothing, well for me, nothing. For some reason I am very attached to my dress *looking at it lovingly*! Bah! I'm going to sell it. No...I won't. This deliberation has been on for quite some time now- to sell or not to sell. Sometime ago, I got the opportunity to work with David Bragdon, a style photographer who happens to be my neighbor! He was graceful enough to have my wedding dress photographed just in case I chose to sell it (the big S word). However, before I make any hasty decisions, I've decided to explore all other options available! Hopefully at the end of this post, I'll come to the most likely decision. Your ideas are completely welcome, (see #7)!
Here are 7 things to do with your wedding dress:
1. Pass it down to your daughter
My mum passed down her 35+ year old wedding dress to my sister who took bits of it and incorporated it into her wedding veil! It was so adorable!
2. Save it for your 'Renewal of Vows' ceremony
If ever you choose to renew your vows at 5, 10, 15 or 50 years (or never...also an option), wouldn't it be great to be able to actually fit into your wedding dress still! A-ha, that's a challenge. Psst, I couldn't fit into my dress when I tried it on for this shoot! Don't be like me! Be forever fit!
3. Sell it (sniff)
This is the most likely option because I feel like my dress is really just occupying space and also I don't like things wasting away when they could be benefiting someone else. As you can tell, I'm a huge recycler, well most of the time.
4. Donate it to charity
While I was asking for opinions about what to do with my dress, a friend casually said with a flick of her wrist and a toss of her hair, "Donate it. I donated mine to charity." She might as well have told me to jump off the 8th floor. I forgive her. I do.
I'm attached to the dress, I don't know if it's because it took me ages to find or because I'm just a drama queen. Maybe a little of both. I don't think I'm donating either way.
5. Rent it out
Renting is a great idea because it brings in cash but you have to be prepared to dryclean it after every transaction. Not to mention have it repaired everytime it rips. *Pausing and thinking this through*
Like I'd have to give it out and then have it returned to me smelling like someone else. What if someone else does stuff in it. *Pensive*
No, I can't. I can't deal.
6. Convert parts of it into household linen
Scream!!! How could you even suggest that, Ike?! Lol. This clearly takes guts. If I ever tried to cut up my wedding dress, I'd be stuck standing there with a pair of scissors until Jesus comes and pries it out of my hands. I don't think I could. *goosebumps*
7. Please comment below for the best answer(s) for #7
What did you do with your wedding dress? What do you suggest I do with mine?! The first three answers will be alloted point 7(a), (b) and (c)!
Related posts: Why your wedding day is not the happiest day of your life; The one that got away; Your wedding dress shopping check list!
PGI's May Girl: Ufuoma (The Organized Bride)
PGI's feature for the month of May is the beautiful, ambitious bride-to-be Ufuoma Ukueku! She talks about working in Real Estate, planning her wedding and how she deals with marriage horror stories!
Many brides have wedding planners and if they don't, they, at least have 5 different notepads where they scribble all their wedding ideas and plans or a scrapbook or Pinterest board. Ufuoma Ukueku is a different type of bride, one who is very keen on detail and plans to have a flawless, hitch-free wedding without a wedding planner! She applies her vocational skills to her wedding planning in a super-impressive way. She's blessed with fab planning skills, a trait she apparently got from her mum! Where was Ufuoma when I was planning my wedding and forgot to pick up my cake! Lol!
About her crazy organizational skills
What do you do for work?
I work as the Assistant General Manager of a Real Estate company in Lagos
How do you balance your busy lifestyle with your wedding planning?
I prioritize, analyze my tasks. I tend to take everything I do as a project, applying my management skills and knowledge to them. I manage well, balancing my personal life, work and wedding plans
Have you had any Bridezilla moments?
Not yet. I'm hoping not to! (laughs)
How many bridesmaids do you have?
I have 11 bridesmaids! (laughs)
Have you asked them if you've been showing any Bridezilla signs?
I haven't. I should ask them.
How do you keep a tab on your wedding planning? Do you have a wedding planner?
I actually don’t have a wedding planner. Excel spread sheets are the best wedding planner tool anyone could have! My work has taught me to plan, document and track progressions in any project, in this case, the wedding plans. I have an excel document with different sheets for various things I need to plan for. I just need to check every week to make sure nothing has been forgotten, then from time to time I show the document to my friends so they can contribute, so I don’t miss out anything .
From Ufuoma's doc
Pretty amazing! Are you a natural planner?
Yes, I am. Majorly influenced by my mum. She is super-organized; the best planner I know. She has a file for the wedding with "Seyi and Ufuoma" written on it! (Laughs) She saves programmes from weddings, documents everything as it progresses and is very hands-on with the preparations which I really appreciate.
Your dress! How did you find it? How many dresses did you have to try on?
My dress! My dress! People say it's difficult finding a dress but I always told myself that it would not be difficult for me.
It was helpful that I knew what I wanted already! I tried on about 6 dresses. The first store I went to is called Perfect Bridal Occasion. I had seen a dress they made for a bride on a friend's display picture. I felt the lady wearing the dress and I had similar figures, so i made inquiries about the dress, went for a fitting and that was it!
The only reason that i tried other dresses after finding this one was to get a sense of pricing on wedding dresses in general. The store stylist asked me to go to other stores to have an idea what their prices were like relative to the quality of the dresses and in all honesty I did not see any thing better. So I stuck with this one regardless of the price. I found it about 6 months before the wedding!
What do you love the most about it (the dress)? (Don't spill anything you don't want us to know)
I particularly like the fact that it’s very fitted, I have always loved body-con dresses.
What do you think are the top three things a girl needs to have to be well-put-together?
Great hair, Glam heels, Shaped eyebrows
What's your morning beauty routine?
Foundation and eyebrows are super important to me
Are you on a diet for the wedding?
To be honest, i'm always on one diet or the other, its already a way of life for me. Yeah, I would say i am on a diet
Shoes or Handbags?
Shoessss! Anyday, any time. ( I give all my bags out all the time. I have about 2 bags left and i'm like what is the point of buying bags)
Shoe-colour preference?
The family of purple (purple, lilac, magenta , plum)
About her wonderful job!
Did you choose your industry or did your industry choose you?
Well, I would say both based on the circumstances of the employment. I met my boss on a project that I was working on at the time and he offered me a job!
Why did you choose your industry?
It was all just me following that inner voice saying, "this is an opportunity of a life time".
What do you love the most about your job?
I love that ownership quality that comes with working here. Even though, it's not my company, i still feel responsible for the outcomes of certain decisions made. I love everything about my job, really! It’s the best decision I have ever made (laughs) This is not for my employer o! I mean it.
How have you developed your skills and knowledge of Real Estate?
Experience. I work in the construction aspect of Real Estate. A lot people think its only when you are an engineer that you can understand construction- that's so not true. Experience is our best friend and for the past 5 years, I have been learning and getting better at it .
What would you change about your industry?
Improved skills for artisans; I'd like to set up a training school for them. They have the enthusiasm and energy to work but they have very low level skills which could have adverse effects in construction. It's something that should be looked into in Nigeria.
About marriage and twerks!
What are you looking forward to the most in marriage?
Really looking forward to actually living with my best friend
How long have you and Seyi been together?
5 and half years
About 3 years ago, I had a conversation with you about your goals as a couple. I still remember very clearly. You guys set goals you hoped to achieve before you got married! Have you set your goals as a married couple yet?
Well, yes we have been working on our goals for marriage and the marriage counseling classes have also helped us redirect some goals as well.
Have you heard any marriage horror stories?
Yes, I have, especially couples that did not get married from their tribe(my fiancé is Yoruba). We hear all sorts but for some reasons people also say Deltas don’t really attach tribal issues to anything, so for me, it doesn't bother me or maybe it's because of the person I am getting married to
How do you deal with these stories?
Just prayers and working on my relationship daily.
Have you ever tried twerking?
Hmm, yes o! (Laughs) I used to know how to dance in the past!
Kilishi or plantain chips? Let's see where you are on the Vegetarian-Carni spectrum!
Plantain chips any day, that kilishi ‘s pepper can kill (laughs)
What would you say to your 20 year old self?
"Well-done for taking great opportunities at a very early age and well-done for setting good morals and values but we could have done better."
What would you say to your 30 year old self?!
"30 is the new 20s, so stay positive and aim for better"
4 Things I Learnt...
1. Take your work home with you, i.e apply some work skills in your personal life too (except, of course, if you are a wrestler)
2. As you grow vocationally, don't forget to develop subordinates and junior staff
3. Ufuoma hands out bags; i love bags....we should work something out
4. We eventually become our mums (tell me about it!) Love you mum! Happy Mothers' Day!
Thank you so much, Ufuoma, for being PGI's May girl! ! We wish you all the blessings of God in that thrilling adventure called marriage! Love you loads!!
What If Someone Refuses to "Forever Hold His Peace" at Your Wedding?!
You know that scene in the 81st minute of a love-triangle themed chic-flick, where the couple, minister and guests are in church and the minister goes "if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace" and there is silence. The groom is hoping some random baby mama doesn't show up and the bride is whispering "God, please!!" inaudibly?
Suddenly someone's hand shoots up and disrupts the entire wedding
Well, in the movies, it's usually someone saying how much he loves the bride and then they leave the groom-to-almost-be standing at the alter. They run into the sunset and the crazy audience begins to applaud. You'd know that the movies are scripted and NO ONE ever wants a disruption at their wedding!
When the minister said this statement, at our wedding, the room fell quiet, I probably muttered, "God, please!", like 12 times. Then, the videographer recording the event suddenly swings his camera to the audience, hopefully expecting some yummy-sushi-like drama!! He was sorely disappointed, he reluctantly turned the camera back to the altar. LOL.
6 Environmentally-Friendly Tips for your Wedding
It's 2016 and we all owe it to our planet to be environmentally conscious and 'green', right? Loving the earth every day and taking care of it is our responsibility, even on our big days! Many people give it very little consideration because we are a little preoccupied with the perfect cake, perfect flowers, the 9-foot chocolate fountain and the ice sculpture of you and bae standing under the Eiffel Tower or some other landmark of considerable importance. No one cares about the earth on their wedding day! I definitely didn't care. I didn't think my own event contributed to any environmental degradation, but it probably did, for one, the cooks in the backyard cooking with firewood so we could get the authentic jollof rice taste and aroma may have made a little contribution. That rice though....😍
Now seeking ways to right my wrong but Earth, you and I know jollof rice ain't jollof rice without firewood. So we have to find a middle ground. A "smoky-flavored jollof rice" seasoning might be the solution; Nestle, Unilever, I just dropped a product development pitch in your lap. BAM!
Ok, things went jollof-centric suddenly. Back to the reason for the post; here are a few things to consider when planning a "green" wedding.
Electronic invites
Paper wedding invitations are pretty (most of them, anyway) and are tangible, which are their main selling point. Although, thought should be given to electronic invites. They are instant; no wait times and are paperless. You and I know where paper invites end up; fending off soldier ants in the rainy season- ablaze; as make-do dustpans and in less dramatic parts of the world, I guess they just end up in the shredder. I know how long it took for me to make a decision about my paper invitation cards, to think that's how they ended up, lol, yup, I should have done the e-invites. Two e-invite platforms that make very pretty, chic invites are paperless post and labellecarte.
Wedding dress(es)
Do you really need two dresses? If you do, Make sure your second dress is beautiful and practical enough to join your wardrobe subsequently. Reuse makes the earth happily green.
Bridesmaids dresses
To all the bridesmaids out there, I got you. Let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, there's a higher chance they'd pick a dress that could be reused for other occasions with little or no modifications. Pretty Dresses= Happy bridesmaids= Reuse= Green wedding
Favors
Are your favors useful? Yes? Are they useful short-term or long-term and unique? Honestly, if I could trade in all the plastic fans favors that accumulated in my house in 2005 and the wall clocks in 2008 for a kobo, i’d be writing in my beach house somewhere on the Pacific. Favors are given with the right intent; to honor the bride and groom while giving out a gift to the guests. Give out favors and souvenirs that are useful and unique.
Gifts (registry)
Get people to spend wisely by setting up a registry with things you actually want and also to avoid duplicity. Many-a-wall-clock strewn around the homes of newly-weds, when they actually would like a pressure cooker.
Flowers
Use fresh flowers from the bouquet as potpourri. Even though the bouquet falls apart after the toss most of the time. If you have them all around reception area, potpourri is a good idea! Here's a link on how to make potpourri!
Here are more tips for the hard-core nuptial environmentalists.
Have a wonderfully green wedding and if you are throwing rice as confetti, remember to sweep it and eat it for dinner!
Lol!!! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I just had to.
xx
Proposal- And she said 'No'
So you are in a restaurant, having dinner with him and the waiter has brought in dessert. You are mildly distracted by a message on your phone. In a moment, your boyfriend is on his knees with an open ring box.
You freeze, other customers are smiling, some are applauding, the waiter is beaming, (probably because he's up for a big tip after you say "Yes".) You look at him(your bf, not the waiter), as in, really look at him....it just doesn't feel right AT ALL. You don't see yourself with him in 50 years or even in 7 months. The answer is a definite "No", but how do you say "No" with all these people watching?
Whoever heard of the girl who said "No?!!!"
Fear not. We have. Well, we are about to; a study shows 1 in every 4 women turn down a marriage proposal. Less than 25% of those women end up regretting that decision. I guess the other 75% were right on the money when they said "No can do, bro."
The study reports that the women just didn't think it felt right; the proposal, the guy...everything. The famous feminine intuition kicked in! These girls were able to see past the unexpected proposal with the glitz, glam and serenading waiter; the glimmering ring and the crowd and say "No."
It's admirable making such a solid decision under so much pressure, understanding that the course of your life hangs on to whether you are "too nice to say No" or "too shy to say Nah-ahn in front of a crowd".
To be honest though, it's awkward saying "No" in public; the guy would probably be traumatized eternally. I guess you could say "Maybe", then a "No" later. Right?
Could you ever say "No" in public to a proposal?