The Existence of Holy Twerks and God's Soprano voice
I've always imagined God as the huge, shiny, shiny, glimmering, iridescent being, who sits on a massive throne, surrounded by cherubs and the 24 elders; angels flapping around Him like moths to a flame, a sea of glass in front of His throne, everyone singing in perfect tones and in complete awe of Him, praising, hollering in delight. I'm probably semi-right, according to the book of Revelation. Semi-right, because no imagination, narrative or words can actually truly describe what's going on up there*insert dramatic gaze at skies*.
I often wondered though, what God does during this time- when everyone is singing and jumping around and screaming about how great He is. Does He just sit on his throne and stare at everyone and nod in approval with stately composure and a side smile? What does He do when we (His peeps on earth) sing to Him? Does He catch the praise in His fist, examine them and separate them into "acceptable" and "unacceptable" baskets? Does He laugh and roll His eyes when I call Him pet-names? (Which I do. Smh. You should hear them)
When we sing to God or come to Him, we are automatically in this space where we are praising along with the angels, the elders, souls of saints (a.k.a souls of righteous guys made perfect) and it's all a merry, exhilarating wing-flapping experience, crowned elders tossing their crowns, creative expressions of love including dabbing, splits, holy twerks and shoki's- definitely merry.
I think-I'm not certain-but I think I may have found what he does when we sing to him.
I think when we come into His throne room with a love song or a worship song, His heart skips a beat, His pupils dilate, His fingers grip His arm rest and His breath is caught in His chest because the one He's in love with, just stepped into his presence. With every note and beat, whether or not you are on or off-key, His heart throbs along and suddenly-what does He do?
“The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing”
"Rejoice over you with singing" Hands down, the second most romantic thing I've seen in the bible. Rejoicing, hmm. He, maybe, gets up from His throne because it could be pretty uncomfortable rejoicing while sitting down. He's on his feet, among the bowing elders and angels and the flapping cherubs, and walks towards you, everything else fades and He stands just about a foot away, His eyes transfixed on yours, as you sing. Then suddenly, He begins to sing too! 😍😍 Of course, this quickly becomes a full-blown Bollywood set, where you and Him dance, laugh and sing about how much you love one another, I like to imagine the angels as backup dancers! He rejoices over us with singing. Can you even try to imagine it? God, singing, spinning on His heels and chasing you around an imaginary tree! Amazing!
What do you guys think? Ever tried Holy Twerking? Hehe.
Random Fish. Apparently pictures taken in the morning are pretty pretty.
Love Your Frenemies!
In the entire history of mankind, till present, no one rocks the "Frenemy" jersey like Judas Iscariot. He was a seasoned hater, a hypocrite and a very proactive enemy. Only recently, I realized that he went out, voluntarily, to the Pharisees to inquire how he might assist in their efforts to arrest Jesus! Lol. He actually got up from his meal of lamb chops and olives with a side of coleslaw and walked to find ways to resourcefully betray his friend- if that isn't proactive, I don't know what is!
I personally found him interesting because he was always with Jesus, through the miracles and the walking on water, feeding the five thousand and raising dead people; through everything! Why couldn't he just be happy for his friend? Why was he so bitter and weird? Why did he voluntarily snitch on his friend?!
His dedication to this betrayal, is one of the most mysterious stories in the bible; actually, come to think of it, maybe not, because we already know haters gon' hate. Still, it's bothersome that he took this "frenemy" business so serious and in my personal opinion, a little too far. He was so resolute and active about it. Why? Well, because it was his destiny. Simply put. Judas was designed to accomplish something in the life of his friend, something that the whole of mankind kind of depends on, even till this day! Judas was part of the big plan! Frenemies are part of the big plan in your life (most times, anyway!)
While I know frenemies are a pain in the tush, they are actually there for a reason. My default statement usually would be "shake that hater loose" or "be rid of that backbiting frenemy" but what if we stop and ponder; what if our frenemy actually had a purpose in our lives?
Dying for mankind was Jesus' life's goal and a frenemy played such a huge part! Jesus, kind of embraced the role of Judas in his life! In fact, one day, during diner, Jesus looks at Judas, straight in the eye and tells him point blank that he needs to get on with whatever he's supposed to do. He's urging him to stab him in the back! It's beyond me, this story. Lol!
I guess frenemies do have a function then!
Did you know that frenemies are known to improve productivity and attain accomplishments in our lives? Science proves it. Wouldn't it be great to put our frenemies to good use and see what comes out of the relationship?
We should ask God for guidance and grace to deal with frenemies and then, when their task is done, ask him nicely, that they please get lost.
What are your thoughts?
When Life Gives you the 404 Error Message
If there's anything life knows how to do, it's dish out curve balls, 404-error messages and lemons- unexpected events that try to knock us off our feet.
Recently, life sent me a 404-error message. Lol. It definitely wasn't funny when I got it but I'm "lol'ing" about it now because I can and because I know that "weird times don't last, but weird people do". *Grin*
The bothersome thing about lemons is their ambivalent nature and of course, their timing (it's like they have their own little special calendars that highlight the worst days to show up). They come in various forms, at anytime; "Dear John" letters a day before an exam, market crashes after investing everything we own, a relatively unfriendly spouse after years of being together, a bird who decides to poop while flying above you, as you hurry for an interview (Are you kidding, bird! Who poops in motion anyway?! This has happened to me twice and i honestly think it's the same bird)
Those lemons come. Some are more life changing than others, like a death in the family or a sickness. Sometimes, they come one at a time, sometimes in rapid succession!
I recently saw the movie, War Room and buried beneath it's quirkiness and humor is one clear message, a day will come, a lemon will come torpedoing at you. What. in. the. world. are. you. going. to. do?!
During this time, we have to hold on to our optimism, depend on the support from our family and friends, build up our strength and cling to God like an undersized wet-suit. The wet-suit-cling is my favorite because the other three maybe fleeting but God is the rock eternal off of which lemons and curve balls ricochet. And the 404 error messages? Let's just say there isn't any network in the rock-delivery failed.
God has been my sole support for about 10 years now. I recently discovered, by the way, that God wants us hard! Not callous, evil or ruthless, but hard, firm in character and unshaking in our trust in him. How fun, finally I can put my intransigence to good use. Hehe!
“If you fall apart in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you anyway!”
*When the bible steps to you and drops the mic. Lol.*
If you are going through lemons or error messages, this collection of quotes might help! Stay strong! Please remember to share!
Leah's Story | When your Dad sells you: Buy One, Get One Free
If you've ever seen the words "Repeat class" or "Retake course" on your report card, the realization of those words come with dramatic chest palpitations, a huge feeling of inadequacy, you lean on the wall to steady yourself and take quick successive breaths- if you are a drama queen.
However, what your teacher or course director is really trying to say is, "*insert your name*, you need to get 'IT'; you just have to get 'IT' before I can let you move on to the next level".
"IT", being the general gist and point of enrolling in this class in the first place.
I've repeated too many times to count now. Well, I've never actually repeated an academic class, but my life lesson classes, sometimes, are stuck on repeat. My 'forgiveness' class probably took 4 years to pass, with a D (aka room for improvement, mildly speaking).
Early in the year, a story caught my eye about a woman who just didn't get IT either and it took her a pretty long while to figure out what life lesson she was supposed to be learning. It was the story of Leah; the least-slaying girl in the bible (we'll get to that in a bit).
Leah was the third wheel in Jacob and Rachel's relationship. Leah was Rachel's older sister and was given to Jacob as a wife because in their culture, it wasn't cool for the older daughter to remain single, while her little sister ran in tall meadows and rolled around in the hay with the man of her dreams. It just wasn't allowed. So, her dad, Laban, tossed her as a surprise add-on into Jacob's cart. Talk about discounted merchandise. Imagine what that would have done to the poor girl's esteem!
Leah, by the way was not a hottie, it was clearly stated in the bible and when the bible denies you as a hottie, best believe. She wasn't slaying, was definitely not styling or fleeking or whatever. Basically, she was this girl that dad was really, really trying to get rid of; that Jacob did not want AT ALL; that her sister probably despised because she kind of stole her man and that girl whose esteem needed a little a lot of a ummph!
Here are some quick facts about this story: Jake had always been in love with Rachel; Rachel was also in love with Jake; Leah was in love with Jacob but no one cared. Really. No one. Not even me, not until last January when the true impact and relevance of this girl's story hit me right in the face.
Where were we? Yeah, no one cared, I imagine Jacob and Rachel running around a tree (or a cactus), carving their names into it and blushing at each other, then suddenly, Leah comes into the scene, looking for some carve-blush-love action, but that never happened. Rachel and Jake paid her no attention at all and Leah complained incessantly about it.
Then God noticed, that she was unloved! He actually noticed and because of that He gave her children. Why did He give her children? Was that supposed to make up for her love-cactus denial and love starvation? I've wondered about this since January. Then one day, I realized, He gave her the kids to teach her something; but what?
When Leah had the first baby, she thought to herself, 'Yay, Jake is so going to love me! *Sigh*! My initials will finally be carved into that cactus!'
Baby Rueben came, no one cared.
She got pregnant again, she thought, 'OK, this isn't a drill. He will love me this time!'
Baby Simeon came, crickets.
Then Baby Levi, nothing. No roses, no party, no blue stone of the Nile. Nothing. Just the same ol' crickets.
It was after this baby IT hit her! Jacob was never going to love her or her kids (in fact, it was later recorded that Jacob loved Joseph, Rachel's son, so much that he gave him the famous coat of many colors. He didn't love Leah's kids that much).
On Leah's delivery of her fourth child, she finally got what God was trying to teach her all along!
When her fourth son, Judah, came along, she said "This time, I will praise the Lord." When I read this scripture in January, for the first time, I initially thought she had given up hope on being loved by Jake but in actual fact, she had gotten IT! She got what God was trying to teach her. You see, God had been chasing after her maniacally! He wanted Leah. He chose Leah. He wanted her to turn her attention from pining for Jake's love. He wanted her to look and focus on him. The unwanted, unpretty, third-wheel, non-slaying, add-on wife was being chased by the God of all things!
He chose her. I can't get over that! This has excited me for about 3 months now, that a person that people do not regard as important would be chosen by God.
“God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being may boast in the presence of God”
It took Leah 4 children, to understand that God was saying to her "Hey, darling, stop trying to get that guy to fall in love with you. Psst. Fall in love with me."
Sometimes we hear stories like this: "God is not giving them children because he wants their attention." And we think God is this mean, stingy person who only knows to withhold before he gives but that's not who he is! He gave Leah tons of children to get her attention! And then one day, Leah got IT; and from her, son, Judah came Jesus Christ, the Saviour of all mankind, 36 generations later.
The day we get IT, heaven begins to unwind the scrolls of our destinies.
Psst! Get IT. Fall in Love with Him!
I hope you enjoyed this post! If you know someone who might need it, please share!
The League of Extraordinary Power Couples
One day, as i sat on a bus somewhere on a London high street, mildly distracted by a bunch of noisy teenagers, it occurred to me that my marriage was not about me! Alarm bells! How was that possible? Whoever heard of a marriage not being about the bride! Well, the wedding, that bit, i could have as my own but the marriage, not really.
You see on that suspiciously warm day, i realized that the fact that I was getting married to the man of my days wasn't just a benefit for me and him alone. There seemed to be a deeper purpose. Being together had to be more than celebrating promotions, having themed house-warming parties and naming ceremonies. Ed and I were together because God needed us together, to get things done for Him. Promotions and parties were just add-ons; just the side-dishes. The main dishes were hidden in His heart and we had to find them out. Yum.
Before we got married, someone asked me what our vision was as a couple! I responded with an endless 'Ummmmm...' and several clueless blinks.
I soon realized that every couple had a purpose and had to have a vision; a strategic direction that would lead to a future they both desire. It was the thing that would keep them both on the same page, causing them to succeed as a functional unit.
Imagine if that vision was in concord with the vision God already had for them. It'll be nothing less than extraordinary.
Every couple has a divine reason they are together and anything that tries to contradict that is a distraction from the fact.
As i got off the bus that day, 3 thoughts came into my mind; (1) we needed a vision (2) I needed to stop daydreaming on buses, I always missed my stop lol (3) God needs us, the same way we need him ♥️
No matter how long you've been married, please come together and write out your goals; personal goals as a couple, financial goals, spiritual goals, goals that build the community etc. Make time to evaluate your progress and don't be afraid to do more. Remember to ask God what he needs you accomplish as a team and a family.
Please share and invite people to be part of God's non-exclusive league of extraordinary power couples!
xx
What's so Wrong with 'Woman on Top'?
I have written 4 separate drafts of this post, each at least 400 words long. In all of them, i sound a little crazed, and mildly temperamental. Lol. It's what happens when it occurs to me that in 2016, women are still fighting for rights. This post is void of all sentiments, which i've found is a great way to think clearly.
I have a question, what is so bothersome about a woman being in the same league as men?
This is a happy read, so put your guards down. For the people who thought this post was about sexual positions, sorry.
Women, we WILL get those rights, the right to make as much as men, to get the same educational and occupational opportunities, to own property, to speak freely. However, we all need to want these rights, not just some of us. Women are wonderful beings, but still in this age, solidarity still has to be preached to us!
We are sentimental individuals and we are heavy on those emotions, right? We make a lot of our decisions based on how we feel, in addition to our skills and that's great! It's an amazing selling point for us. We bring intuition and human concern into board rooms and warmth into the lives of those around us but we also bring other negative emotions too, sometimes. These emotions are usually targeted at other women. I've been a recipient of some of these "emotions" from women i was subordinate to. Why? Maybe because i was young, sometimes older women dislike younger women; maybe because i had long, skinny legs. These were the reasons my friends gave me for my superiors' behaviors. To be honest, i would have given them those legs, if i could. Lol. Seriously though, we need to be more supportive of one another.
Men mentor one another, men help each other, men recommend one another for positions....even if they dislike the other person. Surveys and studies show all these. For women though, that's not how we roll. We backbite, gossip, snicker, bully each other and think a system will take us seriously? The rights start with us. We need to respect one another, value each others' rights and honor other women.
Men, empowering women does not mean you'll lose status or that we'll take over the world. Haha, if we wanted to take over the world, Eve would have eaten that fruit, all of it and given Adam nothing. She'd have made a smoothie and planned a flawless, instant world take-over, while Adam ran around with butterflies.
No human should have to beg for a better quality of life. Women shouldn't have to struggle to be as successful as any man. Success shouldn't be an unachievable luxury.
Being 'the man of the house', means that you protect, nurture and beautify the woman and not oppress her. You should decorate and honor her, encourage her to follow her dreams. Find a good balance for raising your kids. Don't blackmail her or make her feel bad for wanting more. Don't bully her to stroke your ego. That's distasteful (And distasteful isn't trending). Please, defend women in public and speak up, don't just be quiet and watch your sisters, nieces, wives, mothers struggle for rights that are theirs.
For the Christians who use the bible as an excuse to subjugate women, my peeps, Jesus Christ came to empower women. The woman with the constant period, yes, the society-reject who everyone 'eww-ed' at, he restored and reintegrated her into the community. Mary M, the most sultry girl out there, who was a prostitute, was his friend. He helped her choose a better life. He hung out with Mary and Martha. On the cross, in his pain and sorrow, he made living arrangements for his mum! Luke 8: 1-3 names women who gave Jesus money for his ministry; working women who financially empowered Jesus! Then you say, women should not be empowered? Are you kidding me?!
Fix the problem, don't be the problem.
xx
The Time Grandma Walked from Ibadan to Lagos (no joke)
My grandma walked from Ibadan to Lagos and back, several times. I know that just sounded like a spontaneous playground fable; almost a probable response during ‘My-grandma-is-better-than-Your-grandma-war’. It’s the truth though, she walked 260 kilometers whenever she had to go to Lagos, which was quite often. She was a trader who would go to Lagos sometimes, to buy her goods; and, well, back then, feet were the new Über.
She was a remarkably strong woman. She died at almost 100 years. In her final years, she was still funny and chatty. She handed out relationship tips on a whim (don’t ask) and had her wits about her, a little too much too. However, she wasn’t the same young entrepreneur who would have bounded down the street and walked 260 kilometers in a weekend. No, not anymore. She hardly walked 50 feet even. Strength fades. Hey, Selah.
We all have our physical strengths (some more than others). We also have our other strengths; our mental strengths, spiritual, emotional, financial, intellectual strengths. Definitely, some more than others. In fact, i’ve come to realize that in the places where i struggle, someone else is doing extraordinarily well! Yup, our weaknesses are the strengths of others and our strengths, the weaknesses of others. In the past, i often wondered about people who were lacking in my areas of strength. Why wouldn’t they be strong? ‘It’s easy. Look, watch me do it. Trust me it is’, I’d say, but they sometimes struggled. It bothered me.
Then one day, i realized that my strengths had a higher purpose. They were not mine to begin with, they were for those around me who are weak; those that struggled and who could not do 10 feet, when i did 260 kilometers.
Sometimes we think about how better-off we are, as a member of a race or group or class, how better we are than our friends or family, how pretty and popular we are, how decisive and emotionally strong we are, how spiritually fervent we are, while others around us struggle with meager strength portions.
Good news again, strength fades. During the moments when we are strong, we need to optimize this strength by being there for the people who need it and not to hit them over the head with it.
Of course, i needed nothing less than a screwdriver and a spanner to reconfigure my mind to think this way; to think that all my awesomeness is really not my own.
Don’t be stuck on my self-profession of my awesomeness. I am awesome. You are awesome. We all are, in one way or the other. It’s a God-given ability and gift. We, after all, were made in his image. These gifts, though are to be used to help people up when they are down-trodden and out. It was what Jesus did. He was strong for us till death and even after death. It’s the whole essence of Easter. One man being strong for us all, so that the weak could have a chance at life eternal.
“He makes us strong for a while, so we can help one another.”
Hello, World!
My Netflix on Steriods
Epics are my thing. I've watched '300' too many times to count. My favorite line is "For tonight, we dine in hell!!!" And if you read that line without Leonaidas' crazy eyes, you need to read it again....this time complete with the crazy-eye look. My favorite movie is 'The Gladiator', I was a sucker for 'Brave heart'. As a child, i’d stand in front of the TV, and sing along with Whitney and Mariah to 'When you believe', watching 'Prince of Egypt' for the umpteenth time. I'd be Thor every Halloween, if I celebrated it. True Epic fan, right here.
Now Hollywood (and Nollywood) movie makers don't spend all their budget on Epics, they have other supposedly important genres to attend to as well *rme*. So, i've found a solution to my Epic scarcity-- the books of the Kings and Chronicles. The stuff going on in those books; when i project them in HD in my mind, i'm like 'Plot twist! Get the popcorn!'
The bible, itself, is like Netflix on steroids. There's so much intrigue, spy action (Joshua), combat, comedy, Bollywood-type romance (Songs of Solomon), sci-fi (for real, Jesus walking on water, only that it isn't fiction and it completely defies science),
Animation...Animation....no animation. Well, Balam's talking donkey though. Does that count?
I’m currently listening to Revelations and it doesn’t fit into any genre. There's so much war and carnage, beasts, dragons, killer locust, demons. The best, however, is the way it ends, with God, us, tons of precious stones and pearly gates! Now that's pretty epic ♥️
What's your favorite book of the bible? What's your favorite genre?