How to End up with the Sexiest Person Alive
On the bunch of keys that open the door to a great relationship, is one shiny silver key that no one likes to talk about.
Attraction.
We talk about it but then it’s quickly lost in that whole, “it’s what’s on the inside that matters” jingle, which by all means is the truth and a great jingle, otherwise, the relationship would be superficial and weird and all you’d have is a pretty picture and nothing else. See what I mean, almost lost my silver key there talking about that jingle again. Back to our gist.
My friend once broke up with a guy because she didn’t find him attractive and I didn't understand why she did that.
“…But he’s a good guy!” I protested, “Why would you do that?” Then one day, as I was thinking about this, I realized that she had a point; a very valid point.
Assuming she married this nice, responsible man- because Ike didn’t wouldn’t stop whining about how great a guy he was (I really didn’t stop)- what would happen? They would play house for about a month or two, have a series of “lie-there-like-a-fish” sexual encounters, then what? She’d keep on living with someone who she had no attraction or particular liking for. Classic case of Marianne in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility. She would be miserable. She’s glad she didn’t stay with him because now he's with someone who thinks he looks better than a shirtless Channing Tatum on a pole! One sister’s Elma Ford is another sister’s Channing.
One of my guy-friends did the same. He broke up with a girl who he didn’t find attractive. Now she is with someone who thinks she is some form of Gisele-Megan Good-Scarlette Jo' hybrid and she’s about to start planning her wedding.
These two friends of mine were light-years ahead of me in realizing three things; 1. In marriage, there should be a lot of rustling sheets(fact); 2. Physical attraction matters (fact); 3. Ike isn’t the one who has to live with their decisions and lie there like a fish (fact)
Really, there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to be with people you aren’t physically into and vice versa. You are simply making them available to the people who find them irresistible. Someone else would cherish, honor him and give him the best sex of his life *shrug*
Take this as another example: One time, I met a guy who liked me and everything about me except the shape of my head Lol! Can you even believe it? My glorious, wonderful head! That’s the way the world works, preferences, desires, decisions. If he stuck it out with me and my head (assuming I complied), we’d be in a relationship which just involves him staring angrily at my head and kicking himself, while I’d be staring outside a window pining for Ed, who clearly loves my head (He tells me this all the time.)
We know that physical appearance isn’t the primary criteria for choosing a life-partner; of course, this person you have chosen, must have a wonderful, beautiful spirit and heart with which you connect so intimately, that you have frequent fits of increased heart palpitations per minute; but also, this person must test your self-control, if you know what I mean*insert stupid grin*
Choose the right person for you- there’s only ever one “sexiest-person-in-the-world” for each person. Choose your very own sexiest person alive and don't settle for less!
I would love to read your thoughts on this. Do you agree with the decision to let go? Does physical attraction matter to you? Do you like the shape of my head? (Trick question)
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Experience: Pigtails and Dandies
Primary 6. My birthday. I believe I was dressed in something festive and frilly, probably pink and with a lot of tulle. I had my hair in neatly oiled nappy pigtails with twin, pink hair bobbles.
It was customary, at the school I attended, to celebrate your birthday, out of your uniform, in party clothes - all dolled-up and of course, as the center of attention for the day. No one could get enough of you. Suddenly, you had quite a few more friends than you did last week, mostly because at break time, your mum was going to arrive at school with a very colorful cake, several packs of sweets, packets of Dandy and Robot chewing gums, and glorious crates of Coca cola and Fanta. Sugar-high for days, baby!
On this particular birthday, I was indeed dolled up. I was ready. I was the realest MVP. Mum was coming and we, all, would soon be swimming and splashing in candy. Break-time came and I smugly looked outside the window (I had a good view of the school gate) and was certain I'd see mum coming in with the school janitor helping her with the "stuff".
Hmmnn. No mum. No sweets. No dandy. No candy.
Quickly, my MVP status vanished and I was left by myself. All those friends and dandy-lovers ditched me the moment break-time was over. One of my friends stayed though. Her name was Bimbo. She hung with me and we both waited for my mum. I can't explain how devastated I was. A no-show on your birthday was like dressing up, leaving your house and going to your fave restaurant and realizing the restaurant had been burnt down the night before! OK, it wasn't that bad, but you get me, though?
I remained in my class, on my seat; I wouldn't step a foot out. Err... because what's the point if you have no dandy to show! Dandy was the life. Bimbo stayed and cheered me up. She might have offered me some of her stuff to celebrate, she was known to do stuff like that and she always had sweets in her lunch box. The last period of school came and as I now had been secluded to the "meh"-section of class, (it's very possible my partner moved to another seat: No Dandy, No love), I mopped; my puffy pigtails made me look like a sad Minnie Mouse.
Just as last period starts, from the corner of my eye, I see a little commotion outside the window; the school janitor is carrying a brown carton of something, someone else, behind him is carrying crates of Fanta and Coke! My eyes light up as I see mum in tow, walking swiftly in her clogs, a brightly colored satin dress draped delicately over her slender frame, two huge black and white shopping bags on both arms! I remember being full of so much joy and delight but I couldn't speak because class was on.
Mum came into class, all glorious and colorful, with sweets and goodies for days. In an instant, the dandy-lovers were all over me again, even more intensely than before! Bimbo, of course, became my right-hand girl, the vice president in charge of the dandies and Fantas. I don't think I ate anything, I was just delighted to see mum!
One day, when many people have given up hope, "moved on" and have secluded Him into the "meh" corner, God will come, glorious and brightly colored with angels singing and goodies for eternity. Don't ditch God because you think he won't come. I know, I know He has been arriving for a while now but He's only taking this long because he wants everyone to be saved or at least get a chance at it. He will come. Don't desert your faith. Stick to it.
Stick to the unseen dandy!
Do you ever wonder if God will arrive when you least expect? What was your favorite birthday memory as a child? God bless the Bimbo's in our lives! Who remembers dandy and robot? Lol! If you'd like to meet Jesus, you can, here!
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4 Long Distance Relationship mind-tricks + How to deal
Somewhere in between feeling like a third wheel on most social outings and scowling on the crowded train next to the kissing couple, you'll realize that this long distance relationship (LDR) isn't just your thing!
No one can take away the discomfort (putting it mildly) that LDR brings but you can sure make it easier on yourself. From experience, i noticed that LDRs tend to have certain effects on the individuals involved--minds tricks that's what they are really. The distance, of course, makes you feel as frustrated as ever and begins to play games on your mind, causing you to make decisions you wouldn't make otherwise (especially #4). I've narrowed these effects down to 4 effects, because this post could easily turn into a book if I don't. Lol!
Spoiler alert for effect #2: During our LDR, probably in our 7th year, Ed and I were away from each other for a while--the longest we had ever been. By the 3rd month, we couldn't remember what the other person felt or looked like! Don't be alarmed if this happens to you, somewhere along the line you might lose bits and pieces of the events and time you shared together, but that's ok, breathe, it doesn't mean your relationship is dying. Check out #2 for tricks!
Here are 4 tricks LDRs might have on your mind and 4 neat tricks to manage them:
1. Stuck on Stag Island
Stagnant (Stag) island: that place where you want to hide under a rock and become a hermit. From experience, I can say LDR has a knack for getting you to put your life on hold, because your Significant other(S.O) is not around. You are here watching the world go by, passing on some awesome experiences and all you want to do is dip yourself in a slow, mundane cycle and sluggishly go with the motions till you see bae again.
Neat trick: Get busy and don't let those experiences pass you by (Well, not unless they cost money and you are broke). Find a hobby. Develop yourself! If you want to go to Turkey for a- once-in-life-time internship opportunity, this would be a great time to do so.
2. Forget S.O's face and features
By week 9 of your LDR, you may begin to forget features, voice tones, the tiny things that made you fall in love with S.O. True, you talk every day on FaceTime or Imo but you can't get past the virtual barricade the screen offers. Don't panic and think your relationship is over just because you can't remember the way he feels or the way she laughs!
Neat trick: Discusswith your S.O. He/she probably feels the same way and is just as spooked about telling you. Sharing this will take the load off your shoulders. A surprise visit may also be in order, if you can afford it!
Something Ed did that helped was "a letter box". He wrote about 10 letters all sealed in individual envelopes and marked for the days I was to open them and read (P.s I love you style). *heart bubbles bursting all over my head right now* It also helped that we gave each other rich narratives of our day.
3. PDA intolerance
You suddenly become intolerant to couples holding hands and kissing on the streets. I remember one particular couple in Trafalgar Square. They were both dressed in white clothes, top to bottom, for some reason. They wouldn't stop kissing each other! If you have me a pen and paper, I could draw and label their tongues. I saw too much in one glance. Way too much.
Neat trick: Zone out of the situation and give the couple as much space as possible. There's not a lot to do in this situation but self-pacify. Lol! If you think about it, you guys will eventually be that gross couple that everyone can draw their tongues in future. Sohold your peace and focus on the future!
4. Illegally Crushing
You begin to crush on someone who is near and isn't even cute! LDRers are lonely people and are the most susceptible to having weird, random crushes. Tut. Tut. It's the LDR hustle.
Not-so-neat trick: You have two options: (1)Tell S.O about it. Reassure him/her that it's nothing. You guys can work through it together. (2) If you are going the other obvious route-the don't-tell-S.O route, please find someone who you can trust and confide in. Be accountable. It's great to have good platonic friendships at your location to ensure you aren't lonely and are occupied! It really helps, unless they are "Jacks". Lol! I just remembered that post. I'm going to read that now. I hope you enjoyed this and that it helped! Please share with an LDRers you know! Thanks!
Hey, can you identify with any of these mind-tricks? Please feel free to add any effects of long distance relationships you might have experienced below!
My Experience with the Intern Mugger (Throwback)
Previously published on old blog space.
Few things to remember while being mugged:
No eye contact, no fidgeting, no sudden movements, no movie stunts(007 is filmed on set and James is not his real name...now you know), most importantly, pray like your life depends on it.....because it does.
I pray younever get mugged, it's the second worst situation ever, right after being on a plane with a malfunction(that you can do without also). If you've never experienced mugging and you wondered a little what the experience might be like...here's my experience!!!
There I was, on a cloudy Thursday morning in Ikeja, Lagos, walking down my street to get a cab to work. I remember the air was fresh and smelt of wet earth (because it had rained the night before). I trotted along, walking on air and happier than a clown (I love rainy days). It was one of those days nothing could even think about going wrong.
"Good Morning, sister", A voice says behind me. I turn to look at him.
"Good Morning", I chirped gleefully.
"Give me your bag."
What??! Wait, what was happening? And then I dropped my gaze and there pointed at me, was a gun. It was such an inelegant gun. If I was going to get shot, definitely not with this ugly gun. It made me just imagine an old blacksmith hitting some metal scraps to make a weapon, including milk tins.
Only in Lagos, would my mugger say 'hey' and even call me "sister". *rme*
At this point, my adrenaline and cortisol is pumping overtime. I quickly look around and there is an old lady about fifty feet away, setting up her roasted plantain (boli) grill. About twenty feet up the road from her, was a man who measures and pumps tires for a living (aka vulcanizer, which I think is a Nigerian word, not a real word by the way lol...they are called foka for short, pun unintended). They both glance at me and continue their morning preparations...this was that moment, that defining moment when I knew the spirit of community was stone dead in Lagos and that I was never buying boli from that woman ever again.
Boli lady had hurt me.
Lagos had hurt me. Lagos hurts everyone who loves it, but we still hang around and love it a bit more. It's a bitter-sweet relationship that only Lagosians can understand.
That's true love, right there.
Back to the story, after being snubbed by "Iya oni boli*" and "foka", I looked down the road for any unjaded passers-by.
No one.
It was 6.30 am, some one was bound to show up, right? Another okada, a fellow commuter, anyone!!! The police would have been nice too...with their station just less than a mile away!
I had to stall, someone would come to my rescue. I looked at him. He was dark and young, wearing a sad brown shirt(not its original color). His face was unsure and I felt like he might just add the word "please" to his demand. Hmmm...a newbie. So I took a chance and decided to appeal to his humane side (Don't do this at home guys, I am a professional lol).
" Please, can I take my work ID? It's all I need,"I asked.
" OK." He says, urging me with a 'go-ahead' gesture with his metal-contraption-gun-thing which I'm sure was Made in Ojota.
Immediately, I dive into my bag and find my ID, then I push it aside, pretending to look for it.
Someone had to come up the road any minute now. They had to rescue me from this intern-mugger and his rickety weapon. Stalling. Intern mugger looks up the road uncomfortably, he was getting impatient but said nothing. He was such a nice guy, really. Lol.
Then, suddenly a bike appears, with a man on it!!!
O yes!! My Hero was here, though his skin looked a little bleached but "hey, Beggars are not Choosers."
My bleached Hero pulls up beside us. Face, mean and strong like any Hero's face would be.
Intern turns around and looks at Hero... he didn't seem very alarmed.
Hero scowls at him, then me, and says to intern, "Shoot her!!!"
At this point, I concluded that humanity was truly in need of a Savior. He apparently wasn't my hero, he was the intern's supervisor! "SHOOT HER!!", he insisted.
Intern looked pleadingly at me, it was either he didn't want to shoot or his contraption had no bullets and it was all a bluff. Hero-turned-bike-riding maniac kept screaming "Shoot her!" I handed over the bag and intern jumped on the back of the bike and rode away with his manager.
I was more sad about the fact that Hero was NOT my Hero than the loss of my beautiful Guess handbag. I was also sad that Hero was almost purple from incessant bleaching. I saw skin disease in his future. I ran home miserable and void of all my items. Everything was in there; my blackberry, my wallet plus bank cards, my makeup purse, the famous work ID card, my bible, my shoes for work (I had walked down the street in flats to catch a cab), my lunch, even!!!
It was quite the experience.
Have you had a mugging experience? Would love to hear about it! Share below!!!
*Iya oni boli (Yoruba language) : A woman who sells roasted plantain as street food.
Experience: The Day I went Commando
Confession: So the other day, I went commando .........
For those who don't know, "going commando" is a situation where you forget (or voluntarily decide not) to wear underwear; like there's nothing, niente, nahda- just you and the wind.
*uncomfortable silence*
Now that we've established that uncomfortable silence, let's move on and lay a very important brick for the progression of this post.
Three years ago, I stumbled on a passage, which led me to believe that I wear two types of underwear everyday: a physical pair of briefs and a spiritual pair of briefs! Who knew?! It turns out that we are required to wear a "basic undergarment" which can be found in Colossians 3:
“....and regardless of what you put on, wear love. It’s your basic all-purpose undergarment. Never be without it.”
We are required to wear LOVE! All the time!!! It sounds good...I know but it's a little harder than it appears. We are supposed to consciously and deliberately don on our spiritual briefs - and I'm guessing they should be like full-coverage love briefs and not thongs. Lol! I feel like the more hypothetical coverage our spiritual underwear has, the more protected we'd be from the elements *shrug* Officially overthinking this. Tsk...spiritual thongs.
So back to my story, I went commando (spiritual-commando) to church, my love drawers were at home and I wasn't even aware until I got tested.
After service, I was standing in line, getting some tea, when out of nowhere this man cuts in front of me and pretends not to know that he had just cut a line! I don't like queue-cutters, not at all, not even if they are my family.
So anyway, this guy jumps the queue and acts like he's just minding his business. I decided not to call him out, because it wouldn't end well. I did stare him down a little. I was sure he could sense my irritation. After catching my eye a few times, he cowered and shrunk and maybe choked on his coffee a little.
I felt so bad, afterwards! Like after service, seriously, who fails at practicing biblical stuff? Turning the other cheek and all!
I was glad it happened though, it made me see that I had to voluntarily and consciously strap up this love-skivvies and stop harassing queue-skippers with my unparalleled stare-down skills! Holy Spirit, help me!
So people, never go commando with love. Love is our spiritual underwear and going commando is a complete No-No!
The Thin Line between Fleek and Alien
Makeup! I've never been a makeup person, I'm more of a get-up-and-go-go with lipstick and penciled-in brows. Truly, you can get away with many things once your brows are filled in and your lips are colored or moisturized. Now, foundation, concealer, pink-chewy sponges, all the 900 types of brushes, luxury powder, contour sets...... those are another ball game entirely. However in 2016, I promised myself to try something new. Something excruciatingly, painfully new! Plus Ike, PGI's November girl kind of kicked me out of my comfort zone.
Hence, I began my makeup journey, watched a bunch of YouTube videos, insta-stalked some Makeup Artists (MUAs) and here I am, still learning, painting and mispainting. I won't stop till my good is better and my better, best! Anyway, here are 13 things I've learnt on this Makeup journey:
1. It's a thin line between being on fleek and transforming yourself into an extra-terrestrial look-alike
2. My teeth = lipstick Magnet (here's how to fix that!)
3. The pink, chewy, squishy thing (Beauty blender) is not edible and costs more than a tube of lipstick
4. Sephora is pretty cool
5. Makeup is an investment and with the exchange rate all crazy, must be strategically used to maximize utilization (she must not waste lol)
6. I am beautiful with/or without makeup
7. MUA's, a couple of salutes and new respect! Let's be friends.
8. Apple cider vinegar is the new water! You can use it as a toner, as a weight loss beverage, as a cleaning agent, for your hair, to treat constipation, to solve the Bermuda Triangle mystery.......
9. Sometimes, "moisturize and go", not every time "foundation and cake"
10. My lips get crazy when I wear mascara, they bend into this unnatural shape for some reason (photo 2 below) Does this happen to anyone else?!
11. Making up is actually a great opportunity for "Me-Time". I just turn on my favorite Spotify playlist and sing with my powder brush (which explains photo 1 below). Then I drop the mic....the brush.....the mic-brush 🎤
12. My eye bags need to go (Here's how to get rid of bags, I'm trying ALL of them!)
13. Along with Apple Cider Vinegar, honey and lemon seem to be the solution to the problems of the world
Stuff I haven't tried : False Lashes, contouring, brow waxing, contouring my collar bone (I did not know that was even a thing!)
Do you wear makeup? How's your journey? What discoveries have you made?
5 Strange Things I Do in an Airbnb
Ed and I are serial road-trippers. We were on a road trip just last week and as usual we stayed over at an Airbnb apartment.
Being the moderately-adventurous and overtly skeptical traveler that I am, Airbnb and I have had a long, bumpy journey chaperoned by suspicion and distrust. I, initially wouldn't even consider staying over at one but I think at this point (after 4 successful Airbnb stays), I'm a little more comfortable in a stranger's space than I used to be. Here are 5 weird things I do unfailingly at an Airbnb:
1. Stare skeptically at the bedsheets
The first time we ever used Airbnb, we rented this really nice apartment, located downtown in a busy metropolitan city. It was a student's bachelor pad.
Problem: The sheets. They were dark colored; dark grey, almost black and that bothered me a bit. The dirt wasn't apparent and I couldn't tell if it had been used or not. As I stood there, contemplating how I'd sleep on the bed, Ed further exacerbated the situation by making a blue-light joke. No doubt these sheets had been involved in rigorous and energy-expending activities, I could now tell by the micro-creases and what indeed might have been a smear of something. I ended up sleeping on top of Ed. I couldn't imagine sleeping directly on 'the smear'.
Tip : Bring your own sheets along.
2. Find all probable hidden camera hide-aways
I won't lie to you and claim that I'm not a little paranoid in a stranger's space. I spend a significant amount of time eyeing places likely to have cameras stashed in them; in paintings, art carvings, the TV, the lamp. It's thorough search, bureau of investigation style.
3. Tiptoe around house....fully clothed
I just always feel like the owner will be back any minute. I'm fully clothed....because, of course.......the hidden cameras, and all bathroom activities, done with the lights dim or off.
Tip: Try to relax, pop open some windows, find your favorite spot and your least favorite. Avoid the least favorite, be rooted in your favorite spot. Take a breath, there are no cameras, probably.
4. Eat jollof rice and plantain
I, unfailing, bring along on my road trips, a nice food warmer filled with jollof rice, plantain and chicken. I think I learnt this from my mum. One of those fun things I learnt from Ma. It's my instant make-me-feel-at-home drug.
Tip: Take something along that reminds you of home. Make it your own space for the duration.
5. Initiate Barricade
When it's bed time, I pull up a table or dresser across the bedroom door. Actually, I just put my luggage against the door (I'm no light traveler either) Lol. I keep thinking the owner's disgruntled ex will show up or some random person would pop into my room. Sigh. This is just ridiculous but I keep doing it. All that trouble.
Tip: Read reviews of Airbnb hosts and if dragging a cupboard across the bedroom door helps you sleep better, then do it!
Don't mind me, Airbnbs are fun. They are much cheaper than hotels; definitely more flexible on food options; provide a chance to meet new people (or not); you get tips on getting around the city. Try it out on your next trip!
What weird things do you do during Airbnb visits? Do you drag a dresser across the front door? I can't be the only weirdly paranoid person out there!
Travel: What Happens in Vegas!
Secret: Whenever I plan to drink any amount of alcohol I usually eat a fine, piping hot meal of Eba and whatever soup. Laugh if you will, it's the truth. Lol. I've found that it keeps me from getting easily tipsy. Well, guess who didn't have Eba in Vegas. Yours truly.
Next thing you know, you wake up and one person is missing
Therefore the drinking was kept to the minimum, the starkest minimum. The point of Vegas was to celebrate our amazing friend's birthday and it was so much fun, it also coinsided with the 4th of July weekend last summer. It's definitely a city worth visiting, complete with torrid weather conditions, all the souvenirs a tourist could dream of, bubbly traditional cabbies (no uber, take note), too much food, way too much and first time opportunities to try and discover new things.
There were many instances that I'd say to myself, "hmm, that was a first!" Vegas was a great bundle of new experiences for me. Here's to new experiences, Eba and the birthday boy!
FIRST GAMBLE
Gambling is pretty addictive.
My friends and I were stuck on some titanic-themed slot machine clearly targeted at women and Leonardo Di's fans in general (there were some men there too *blank stare*). I won $10, then lost it and more. Everytime you win something the machine bursts out singing the bridge/chorus of My Heart Will Go On "Near, far, wherever you are......" and the clanking of coins overwhelm you, causing so much euphoria. Then in two minutes you plug your winnings back in and it's all gone!
Conclusion: Last time gambling ever
Making Hugh Hefner rich. Tsk
FIRST CIRQUE DU SOLEIL
Cirque du soleil is special. They create stage performances inspired by circus activities, street entertainment and some other mysterious (very very mysterious) elements. I had no idea what was going on most of the time. Lol. All in all, the experience is the value added. When I was done though, I felt like I had experienced a different aspect of life. The bizarre aspect and it was quite sensational.
Conclusion: Maybe I'd see another cirque show, one less abstract. Good luck to me finding that.
FIRST SINGING TAXI DRIVER
Imagine it's 3am, you are in a taxi and your extremely chatty taxi driver decides to break into a song at the top of his voice-then he sings another-then another-then another. Half way through, he pulls out his harmonica (mouth organ) and it's now a full-fledged concert! It was quite entertaining, maybe not suitable at 3am. At the end he demanded a fee for his performance! Lol!
Conclusion: Everyone is Elvis in Vegas.
HIT ON BY A GIRL FOR THE FIRST TIME
Words failed me indeed. I was at a pool party so we were all minimally clad. She begins to chat me up. I just always imagined I'd be off limits to lesbians. Why? I don't know. Maybe because they say they can tell if you are straight. Maybe she's a beginner, still getting that sensor tuned.
Conclusion: *blink*
FIRST TIME WEARING A CROP TOP
Crop tops make you very ab-conscious, i think it's a good piece as long as you wear it to appropriate places. Definitely not to meet his parents.
Also, maybe more suited for others than some of us though. (Tip: if you are self-conscious, try them with a pair of high waist bottoms)
Conclusion: Haven't worn it since. I'll try again next summer
FIRST KARAOKE
While I have a video of considerable length showing this extraordinary incident, I will be unable to put it up because there were other participants involved. Lol! It's safe to say we were the backstreet boys and girls for the night and everyone thought we were awesome!
Conclusion: karaoke is best served sober. Then you have no excuse for your behavior. Nope, no blaming it on alcohol, all your innate issues spew forth lol! And forth they did spew that night.
Have any fun Vegas experiences; karaoke experiences, fun taxi driver experiences? Share below!
Aridly beautiful
Ed, Demi, Me!
Weeeeeeeeee!
Dancing in the colonnades
World's largest chocolate fountain- The Bellagio
Photo II with flowers; Vegas turned me into a flower-backdrop kinda gal
All you need for fun in Vegas, this fab lot
All God.
Big Win for the birthday boy! ......which we proceeded to spend on a good(bad), greasy dinner
Chances you'd be married by night fall with a chapel in the hotel basement
Brides dressing room (Photo credit: Demi Eni-Olorunda)
Groom room (Photo credit: Demi Eni-Olorunda)
Shot down the aisle! (Photo credit: Demi Eni-Olorunda)
Foregone
Fiction
It is abominable, that which I do.
But I hurry to it anyway.
I follow the stream by the white light of the moon, stilling myself at every sound of crunching leaves or rustling bushes. I have wrapped myself in the darkest Ankara, on top of it, is my father’s hunting tunic, darker than night. I have smeared his tobacco and spice behind my ears to ward off any strangers or their dogs.
A traveling stranger is less interesting if she smells of tobacco and roots, than of hibiscus and lemons.
In my hand, is my shepherd’s crook. It whacks and chokes, whether it be sheep or person.
This is no man's land, distant from mother's watchful eye. Any assailant would be out of range of father’s arrow.
Now well into the forest, I hear the faint roar of the waters and my heart races. Quickly, I begin to climb the hill.
It is dark but I know where to place my feet, where to grip and brace, where to heave and lift. The darkness amplifies the thunder of the rushing waterfall of Arè. It surrounds, it terrifies. It is enough to fail a heart.
I remove my sandals and wade into the river, she welcomes me and draws me in along the current. I hold unto familiar stones, slippery and some tufty with growth, my feet find ground on the sandy bed. I feel for the rocks and climb out into a cave.
At last.
He is there waiting.
He rises to his feet. My heart thumps, my belly flutters.
Tórę..