Watching Another Person find the One
One of the three runners-up for my wedding dress was a dress I fondly refer to as "The Thumbelina dress". That's not actually what the manufacturers dubbed it but I tagged it so, to be able to tell it apart from the other 90 dresses I tried on. The Thumbelina was a fairy tale dress; and if you wore this dress, I'm not kidding now, whether you are a guy or girl, you suddenly would begin to sing in a meadow somewhere, with birds singing along, a burbling brook bouncing your voice over its gentle current. It was a "Princess-y" Belle meets Sleeping beauty kinda dress.
That day, i was at a bridal shop in Watertown, Massachusetts and at this store, they usually have one dress in a particular style, in one size, which you can later alter; so there was just one Thumbelina in the entire store. When I tried it on, I fell in love with it and I was certain I could give Cinderella a run for her money or seeds.....or whatever Cinderella spends. However, I kept trying on others, you know, testing the waters.
In the middle of the taffeta and silk whirlwind, a lady who was also trying out dresses on a podium next to me asked if she could try on "the Thumbelina"--my Thumbelina. Straight face. She had tried on about five dresses but hadn't found anything yet. Her face was drawn in a forlorn upside down smile and she seemed exhausted already. Note, by this time, i had tried on about 82 dresses! Try on Thumbelina, huh? I eyed her suspiciously. "Alright", I said.
She gladly took it off the hook in my corner and hurried to hers, stepping out of the A-lined dress she was wearing into the Thumbelina with the help of her personal shopper. As she stepped up unto her podium and turned to face the mirror, my jaw dropped to the floor. She looked like THE THUMBELINA! It looked like the dress was actually designed for her! Seriously, she put the "Thumbelina" in the dress. It fit her at every curve and stroke. There was no contest who wore it best. I had to beg her to buy the dress. I was willing to let it go. It just couldn't have looked better on anyone, anymore than it did on her.
Of course, she ran off to the till to pay. Lol.
Needless to say, I hadn't found my dress. Dress number #82 and i still hadn't found the one!
Some people find the one on the first try or the sixth try and some of us have to try on 80+ dresses or date 80+ people to find the one (I'm kidding, I don't even think that's chronologically possible lol!)
It's a sweet and sour feeling** sometimes, when you see someone find the one, you are genuinely happy for them, you toast to them, you throw the streamers and rice and party till 4am, genuinely wishing them every perfect thing God bestows- but at night when you go home with absolutely no "dress" of your own and you are all alone with your thoughts, then the feelings come.
The great thing about life is that there are times and there are seasons and they are scheduled at different times for different people. Being in stride at the exact same time with another person is very rare and probably not ideal. Everyone eventually gets their own moment and enjoys the thrill of basking in it. If you are on "dress" #70 and still contemplating testing the waters, don't be discouraged. At a certain time, you will find "the one" and you will be dropping the jaws of everyone around!
Written with all the love in my heart x
**every time i read this part i said 'sweet and sour chicken' Lol!
6 Must-haves for Your Wedding Dress Fitting!
Wedding dress shopping!!! One of the most delightful things you'll ever do. You get to swim in endless pools of lace, silk, charmeuse, tulle, velvet (well, hopefully not velvet); you get to be as indecisive and irrational as you want and no one can do anything about it! Enjoy it while it lasts.
When I started my shopping, I wasn't really inexperienced because I had already gone on a pre-proposal wedding dress hunt (feel free to judge, read here). Still, I wish I had a list of things preparing me for my real dress hunt. Here's a little heads up.
After scheduling your visit to a local bridal shop for your fitting, make all necessary preparations to ensure your appointment goes smoothly. Below are 6 must-haves for your shopping experience convenience! Nothing fancy. They will help to simulate your big day as much as possible, so when you find the dress of your dreams and are standing in front of that three-way mirror, you can safely gasp and tell yourself that you aren't too far off from what you envisioned for your wedding day. The only pieces missing would be the groom and the angels singing. Here goes:
A Strapless bra
You will be trying on a ton of styles and if you know anything about wedding dress designers, you'd agree that baring clavicles and shoulders is what they do. Try to avoid bras with straps for the day, it masks the beauty and intent of some styles. Instead, opt for a strapless bra. Some silicon gels would have been splendid but they are very impractical for this because they probably will keep falling off.
A formal mess/Bun
Wear your hair as a formal mess or bun. If your wedding hair style is an updo, show up at your appointment with your hair already in a bun or some form of hair-pin-crazy updo. If you plan to have it down for the wedding, up, might still be ideal for the fitting, we don't want your pretty hair stuck in a zipper.
A pair of Heels
At your appointment, your stylist may ask you if you have your wedding shoes with you. They usually prefer if you do, so they can see if your shoes would work with the length and style of the dress.
If you haven't bought your wedding shoes, take along any pair of heels you think would be the same height as your wedding shoes. If after you read this post, you completely forget all i have said, have no fear, the store stylist will be glad to lend you a pair of heels for the duration of the fitting.
Lenses
If you wear glasses, lose them for the day and stick in some lenses. Remember you are trying to simulate your real day as much as possible. If you have no lenses, forget I said anything. Glasses it is.
[Considering wearing your glasses for your big day, get some inspiration from this beautiful bride i stumbled on! Too adorable.]
Friends
Take a friend or two or three, depending of the allowance of extra guests at the fitting appointment. Make sure, for the appointment, you select friends who have good judgement and are not afraid to tell you to step away from the goose feathered trumpet dress.
Photos
'Auditor' is every bride's second name. Take as many photographs as possible, every angle, every trim of every dress. You will be making yourself a cup of tea and staring at those dresses probably till your screen cracks if you are anything like me. Decisions. Decisions.
Have fun shopping! Share with us your wedding dress shopping experiences!
The Secret of the Unengaged Bride-to-be
4 years before Ed proposed, I went on a mock wedding dress hunt with my sister. It was entirely her idea and i had all the possible imaginable reservations about it. For one, I didn't want to be the "crazy" lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged......... but then again, why let all the "crazy" people have all the fun! So I booked an appointment with a local wedding store, over the phone, avoiding the question "When is your wedding?" ever so skillfully with a grunt, an "a-hem" and the word "Soon." At the appointment, the woman was definitely really, really interested in the date of the wedding, so i said it was "inconclusive" for now. I guess at this point she really just thought i WAS the crazy lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged; the one her manager always told her about.
In retrospect, i think this was the most important part of my wedding dress hunt adventure. From the trip, I was able to understand what styles looked best on me; I knew I preferred mermaid gowns and off-shoulder neck styles (I always thought i'd be a Cinderella ball-gown-kinda girl). I knew lace it was and always would be. I knew my veil had to be a statement. I also became aware that sometimes when you don't know what you want some style managers try to force dresses on you. It was a real eye-opener for me ......and an eye-slanter for the suspicious style manager.
How to pull this off...
Let's get it out there; yes, you do require some level of nuttiness for this escapade and who isn't a little nutty, huh? Apart from the benefits of acquired knowledge, it might also set things into motion if you tell your almost-fiancé about the appointment (not with the intention to manipulate him into proposing but just so he's aware and doesn't stumble on your photos one day on your dropbox account and has a heart attack); might get him thinking about the next move too.
You can make it a girls' outing! Get a couple of your girlfriends, engaged or not and do a mock hunt (each of you could book appointments in different stores to avoid being thrown out into the streets, after buying absolutely nothing). My friend, Eki and I did it once on Oxford street. We ran around in the rain, ducking into shops soaking wet, much to the dismay of the preppy shop assistants. Then we ate street crêpes in-between the appointments and after it all, ended up in wasabi eating a spicy bowl of sweet chili chicken bento while flipping through photos of the dresses on our phones. Fun!
It helped me streamline my wedding dress hunt. I also went for my real fitting very informed and confident. I knew exactly what I wanted which made the job easier for me and my style manager. Not knowing what you want is the bane of every wedding-dress style manager's existence. I got a lot of "Thank God! You know what you want! That's impressive!" remarks.
If only knowing what i wanted got me a discount, lol.
It also gets you thinking about themes, flowers, your hair and jewelry. It gets you planning a shopping budget and helps with being realistic with the numbers. Best of all, it's fun and a great way to spend an afternoon with your girlfriends without looking like the lone crazy woman who tries on dresses.
Now when you start taking photos like this with no intentions of buying anything, you probably will get thrown out! Lol! Thank you Eki for letting me use this photo. mmuah!
What are your thoughts on mock hunts? Do you know what styles you would like? Share with a friend who is nuts enough to try this with you...and then book some appointments!
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