Experience: The Day I went Commando
Confession: So the other day, I went commando .........
For those who don't know, "going commando" is a situation where you forget (or voluntarily decide not) to wear underwear; like there's nothing, niente, nahda- just you and the wind.
*uncomfortable silence*
Now that we've established that uncomfortable silence, let's move on and lay a very important brick for the progression of this post.
Three years ago, I stumbled on a passage, which led me to believe that I wear two types of underwear everyday: a physical pair of briefs and a spiritual pair of briefs! Who knew?! It turns out that we are required to wear a "basic undergarment" which can be found in Colossians 3:
“....and regardless of what you put on, wear love. It’s your basic all-purpose undergarment. Never be without it.”
We are required to wear LOVE! All the time!!! It sounds good...I know but it's a little harder than it appears. We are supposed to consciously and deliberately don on our spiritual briefs - and I'm guessing they should be like full-coverage love briefs and not thongs. Lol! I feel like the more hypothetical coverage our spiritual underwear has, the more protected we'd be from the elements *shrug* Officially overthinking this. Tsk...spiritual thongs.
So back to my story, I went commando (spiritual-commando) to church, my love drawers were at home and I wasn't even aware until I got tested.
After service, I was standing in line, getting some tea, when out of nowhere this man cuts in front of me and pretends not to know that he had just cut a line! I don't like queue-cutters, not at all, not even if they are my family.
So anyway, this guy jumps the queue and acts like he's just minding his business. I decided not to call him out, because it wouldn't end well. I did stare him down a little. I was sure he could sense my irritation. After catching my eye a few times, he cowered and shrunk and maybe choked on his coffee a little.
I felt so bad, afterwards! Like after service, seriously, who fails at practicing biblical stuff? Turning the other cheek and all!
I was glad it happened though, it made me see that I had to voluntarily and consciously strap up this love-skivvies and stop harassing queue-skippers with my unparalleled stare-down skills! Holy Spirit, help me!
So people, never go commando with love. Love is our spiritual underwear and going commando is a complete No-No!
Almost Married to Jake- 2,555 days of Summer!
Conversation I imagined between Rachel and her dad, Laban:
Rachel (beautiful and dramatic, screeching at the top of her voice, yanking at her hair): But dad, I love him and he loves me!!!!!! Why can't we be together?!
Laban (rolls his eyes): Because of the goats, my daughter, because of the goats
Rachel: What does my love life have to do with your goats?!
Laban: You used to be my chief operations officer! You used to be my best shepherd, then you meet some run-away kid who goes around making stew and stealing people's birthrights! You were my COO! Now who will be in charge of operations and Supply Chain Management?! Let your boyfriend work for me, if he can promise me returns on my investments, increased productivity and increased randiness among the sheep, then you can be married. I might even consider giving him some equity, a few goats and sheep.
Rachel: Ok, dad. How long do we have to wait?
Laban: 7 years
Rachel: What?!!!!! I'll be like a hundred by then!
Laban (puffing his shisha and looking over his spectacles): Don't be so dramatic, Rachel, what do you want Leah to say? Plus no sneaking into his tent at night. I got eyes all over this place........No making out either!
Rachel (mutters under her breath): Yeah, right.
The bible said none of that by the way that's all me, however, I can imagine Rachel, miserable and anxious, waiting to be allowed to marry the man she was in love with.
She was made to wait 7 years and so was Jake. Yeah, just a couple thousand days, approximately two thousand five hundred and fifty-five days. During that time, God was working. He was working on Jake (as he always does on us), preparing him to be a better man, a better husband, purging him of his Yoruba Demon ways, showing him that there were other ways to succeed other than being deceitful and stealing stuff! He was refining him and equipping him to be that tenacious man who wrestled with God and prevailed! He was preparing him to be Israel.
So, I ask Rachel, would you rather walk down the aisle with the whipped teenage boy who ran around making stew and stealing birthrights, or the mature, resourceful, refined business man who wrestled with God in prayer and prevailed!
God works overtime, he never ever ever clocks out. And guess who he's working for--you. If you are like Rachel waiting for a guy, wouldn't you rather let God expunge his Yoruba Demon-ness before you meet him? If you are building your business and it's taking forever, wouldn't you rather let God set all things together working for your good, even things you are unaware of? Take your time, while God gets your "ish" together for you, chill and enjoy your (±) 2555 days of Summer!
P.s: This post was supposed to be about how Jacob waited 7 years and we were supposed to laugh about how whipped he was and how he wasn't allowed to get laid but he was so deep in love he didn't care. And then I was going to ask if love like this still existed today. Clearly that post didn't go according to plan! Feel free to comment on both the intended and unintended post!
Illustration by @poetolu
Letters to my Greatgrand Daughter- Why You Don't Deserve to be Happy
Dear Charly,
You do not deserve to be happy. Yes, I said it! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
You deserve joy-the highest form of it. You should want to climb to the top of a mountain and scream in delight, just because you can. You shouldn't have to pout and sulk because you lost a job or can't find Mr. Right or be sentenced to moodiness because Mr. Kinda-Right is acting up. Joy is that sparkly ball of tickled delight that bubbles unconditionally somewhere from your mid-gut, somewhere between your large intestines and stomach.
Oh Charly, if there is a man who makes you just plain ol' happy, i hope you are beginning to see how ordinary, common and unexciting that is. Happiness is dependent on variable factors; people, money, success, jewelry, makeup (don't ask), friends. They all have one thing in common, the lack of the consistency and the permanent ability to keep you in a constant state of happiness! So if Mr. Kinda-Right or even Mr. Right makes you happy, good for him, the day he doesn't feel too giving, guess what you'll have bobbing around your intestines? Joy! Crazy, infectious joy.
True, there is a time to cry and pout, certainly, but make sure it doesn't overwhelm you to the point of hopelessness. Endeavor not to crumble under heartbreaks and disappointments. My first heartbreak was very similar to the 6th layer of Dante's description of hell. I was lost to the world, whenever I was conscious, and whenever I fell asleep I sighed in relief as I slipped into oblivion, temporarily rid of the evil and pain on the earth. Every time I saw him, it would feel like my heart had been ripped from my chest severally and there was nothing left. It was the first time I would subject my state of joy to a person; unfortunately that wouldn't be the last time. I learnt much too late to learn to keep my state of mind independent of the willful actions of other humans or expectations. How about this- You be the one who infects with this beautiful thing called joy. It requires a conscious effort and a permanent reminder that you are full of so much love and positivity that, really, it's a wonder you haven't imploded! Your joy is from within and your internal environment must always be kept in a constant state of controlled delight, let nothing have access to it.
“Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, why you are, and who you are not with. When you need nothing more than your truth and the love of a good God to bring peace, then you have settled into the abiding joy that is not rocked by relationships. It’s not rocked by anything.”
So, you see you do not deserve to be happy. Not even a little.
Love,
GreatGran x
#NoFools2016
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces”
#Nofools2016 #NothingPersonal
Life Hack: Repetitive, Loveless Sex and other stories
“It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.”
Yet again, the bible nailed it! NAILED IT! So apt, i could close my eyes, whirl my finger and stab the screen and be 92% sure that i'd hit something i can relate to. Those are all the not-so-fun things that happen when we do our own thing and ignore God, when we live by our own plans.
Stuff goes wrong when i go my own way
Each one is amusingly and painfully true, I don't even know where to start. Ok, maybe line 9: "the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival." That moment when you irrationally believe none of your friends should drive a BMW like you or be as successful as you are (Beep. Rival alert) or that moment you meet a nice looking lady and you conclude that she's trying to steal your husband (BEEP!) LOL! Borderline cuckoo-cuckoo. This is what happens when we don't spend time with God and let our minds run amok and be ruled by our emotions instead of His spirit. Good news though, we hacked the "frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness" problem (line 4) in a previous post.
It all ends here; God gives us freedom, the way we use it is completely up to us. If He had his way though, you would love and be loved, not be trapped in a cycle of repetitive, loveless sex with some random person; you'd be delighted every second of your existence, rid of all mental garbage; you'd dream big and achieve greatness; you wouldn't be subjected to addictions, no porn-lovin', no drugs. If He had his way, we wouldn't hoard cheap trinkets, in other words, our idea of value wouldn't be so limited; values like the number of double taps on IG pictures or friends on FB. He'd rather load us with pearls, chrysolites, amethysts, sapphires and crazy-sounding gem stones we've never even heard of; He'd hook us up with higher standards of value. We wouldn't depend on the validation of people or the need to identify with a group, instead, He'd be our identity, He'd be our contentment and joy and he'd be our treasure.
Give him a chance, you've got nothing to lose.
Just for a second, go over the quote again. What part of it jumped out at you?
Fear Hack: Post Paris-Mali Attacks
I don't run alone
The plan is to remain active all winter long. God and I are aiming for 20 miles/week. We will be indoors, of course; at the gym, no point testing the elements, when just one of us is immortal.
The other day we were out for a run and imagined that if we, dad and daughter, were out for a run, chances were that we had angels running with us, like a security attaché thing. They probably had on jog pants and trainers and ran in stride, with sunglasses, ear pieces and guns gold swords....I guess.
After the Paris and Mali attacks, I guess it's only natural that we all find ways to deal with the fear that creeps into our minds as we walk briskly past crowded places and avoided sustained glares. For me, I've chosen the Father. I've chosen to believe the fact that he walks (and runs) with me and the unseen fact that he has set his security attaché over us.
Don't be spooked.
We do not walk alone.
xx
The "Let it Burn" Post
“You are a light.
I am a light.
So why is the world so dark?”
Ever since I was a child, I was convinced that everyone could see into my bedroom, whenever the light of my room was on. Later on, I believed people could see into my room whether or not the light was on.
The latter was caused by paranoia and by watching too many stalker-outside-your-window movies. Lol! So let's stick with the first. The first conviction has proven itself time and time again. It is the reason why on one very dark night, as i did the dishes at the kitchen sink, looking out the huge kitchen window into the neighbors' living room (unintentionally), i saw too much. Way too much. Way, way, way too much. So much that I had to suspend my chore, all because their lights were on! If you leave your light on, people WILL look into your home, hence the invention of window curtains. Use your curtains, neighbor.
The first is also the reason why i now live on the second floor surrounded by tons and tons of trees and I'm also a bit more careful with looking into lit-up homes....all that trauma. Cringe.
So what's this thing about light? Why is it so attractive?
Why does it attract so much attention?
Well, first, it attracts the observer probably because he/she is in the dark or in a less lit room;
Second, because the observer's interest is piqued by the illumination;
Third, because illumination promotes visibility and direction.
What if I told you that you were light; that there's someone in the dark that needs some of your light; that someone needs hope, needs to see what's going on in their lives and have a sense of direction; that you are a flare and that someone, people, even a whole community could be sprinting to your light?
So if you are a light, why is it so dark where you are? Why are people broken apart, staring hopelessly into space and defeated? I asked myself the same question and i figured it's probably because i'm right beneath my bushel, knitting and singing Taylor swift songs and way too self-absorbed.
It may also be because I'm operating on "low current" and giving off a flickering beam. I might not be consistently connected to the source of my light (God), not beaming as brightly as I should.
Today, I've decided to burn my bushel (good thing it's made out of wicker!)
It's all gone and encourage you to do the same. If you look around you, no matter what part of this great and magnificent planet you are, you will see darkness. It's time to burn that bushel, come on out. It's time to beam and give light, time to be a beacon of hope and love.
Let it burn, then let it shine.
xx
This is so me. Smh. Burn that Bushel ❤️
Do you know someone who needs your light?
Abi's Story | Married to a Jerk
Nabal, i think, might have been the most notable jerk in the bible, other than Judas, of course. Nabal was also married to one of the coolest girls ever recorded- Abigail. I mean, for David to have married her as a widow, it must have meant she was pretty cool or she was severely endowed. Endowed with whatever made David tick....probably, virtue........Yeah, right! Grin.
If you don't know the story, you could read it here. I had always imagined David marrying Abigail because he pitied her, because she was old and raggedy with creases on her face, cloaked in grey; because no one else would want her. That was not the case, the bible actually says she was quite the hottie and when the bible calls you a hottie, you best believe.
Unfortunately, she was stuck with this less-than-desirable man, Nabal.
It was a typical "How-did-a-beautiful-girl-like-you-end-up-in-a-dump-like-this?" situation. What makes the story unique is the familiarity of the situation. We all know an Abigail; one girl stuck in a "dump-like-this", stuck with a fool. It happens all the time.
Abi, somehow makes dump-situations quite promising, mainly because she ends up with David, another hottie. Most importantly, Abi makes this life of hers a bit more bearable by making the best of her dumpy-situation, without ever imagining she would ever come out of it. Sometimes, we think we are in bad situations and so we'd have to live dreary, miserable lives where we mope all day or distract ourselves with social media or Game of Thrones. She was very aware of Nabal's folly and its potential for impending doom and was able to manage it very well.
I think there are many things to be learnt off this woman, whether we are married or single; dating or not, dating fools or not, married to Nabals or not. She wasn't just a pretty face, not at all, she was endowed, like i said with so many "virtues". On a more serious note, here are 6 things to learn from this girl, Abigail. Here they are below:
1. She was very prepared for NABAL's stupidity
It would appear Nabal did stuff like this often enough, so, at some point she must have acquired wisdom and would counter his folly often and swiftly. He was rude and literally a fool. It's sad to think people like that exist, even worse to think amazing women are stuck with them. Get wisdom and get understanding. They are the most universal currency you'd ever know. They would save your life and set you on the path to destiny, in Abi's case, her wisdom set her on the path to becoming queen.
2. She was approachable to her servants
The servants could talk to Abi. She wasn't stuck up and lofty. By contrast, Nabal was. His servants called him a brute and called him unapproachable. Our subordinates should find us approachable, not perceive us as the kings and queens of tyranny. Take care of people in lower ranks and be friends with them. They may save your hide and hook you up, again, with destiny.
3. SHE DID NOT PROCRASTINATE NEITHER WAS SHE A G.O.T FAN!
Not kidding, if that was me, David might have killed us all. I might have said to the servant who reported the situation to me, "You do realize, Game of thrones is on right now. I'll go and meet this David person right after I find out if Jon Snow is dead for real." She did not procrastinate or take situations lightly. She was also quite informed about David and she knew he was an fugitive. She had probably seen him on TV. I guess that means we should watch the news and not just GOT.
4. She sent the servants ahead with the food
Dang, this girl though. She sent the food first. Your gift makes a path for you. This shows us not to be stingy, to know how food pacifies people (yup) and how to deliver gifts (with humility). Then she appeared right after the food had been delivered, probably not too bad looking either. She was the dessert.
Was that too much?
She was the dessert though....eventually.
5. She saw david's potential
Note these were David's broke days, like Chris Gardner (In Pursuit of Happiness kinda broke). David's hustle was too real but she saw he would be great, despite it. She saw substance and potential. She wasn't clairvoyant, she saw because she had substance too! She wasn't superficial or drawn to wealth, maybe she used to be and ended up with Nabal and now had come realize that money couldn't buy many things (in the case of Nabal, common sense). Her values had probably evolved with depth, as should ours.
6. She spoke into his life (ok, officially my fave girl in the bible)
Abi spoke into David's life and he literarily burst into a song and began to praise God. That's deep and you need to think about that. She spoke words of life into his being and evoked praise from him.
Now looking at Ed while he's asleep and I'm thinking about speaking words into his life even as he sleeps. Maybe tomorrow while he's awake. Nope, I'm going to do it right now.
Speak life into his being.
xx