Forget "Love After War", Try This!

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Spats, brouhahas, quarrels, disputes, rhubarbs; why do words synonymous with misunderstandings sound so unattractive? Especially brouhaha! It just doesn't sound like something you want to do every night. 

The great thing about brouhahas for most people is the "love after war" i.e make-up sex. 

Leading to the "love after war", of course, is the fight itself, which primarily consists of extended hours of pouting, frowning, sizzling retorts (which you may later come to regret), frozen-cold shoulders, silent treatments, sulking, well-thought-out speeches, pretend-laughs at memes (smh), calling up random friends to fill the silence, crying (women .......and men alike), cutting remarks etc.

I often wonder, what's the point spending all the time crying and being malicious? What's the point calling friends you don't really want to talk to at the time? No point sulking and doling out hurtful remarks and laughing at memes intentionally till your jaw hurts. One thing I learnt from Lily and Marshal on the show, How I Met your Mother, was, talk and relate during your quarrels, hold hands! Make plans, kiss, even if you are mad at each other! It's the same person you'll be kissing in an hour, so what difference does it make? Honestly, everyone should try it; kissing while upset. It's so weird and probably healthy, like Greek yogurt!

Make-up sex/ "Love After War" has had its day. Love DURING war is in! It's just so much more unnatural and fun. Every bit of you your pride kicks against the idea. It takes ALOT of will-power. It takes a lot of humility and probably a little psychosis, just maybe.

Don't get me wrong, makeup sex is great! What's even more interesting is love during war. I haven't made my point but you get it anyway! Greek yogurt.

Anyone into Love During War? Ever tried kissing while upset? Comment below! 

xx

My First Give Away!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Pages by Ike is over a month old! Thank you for sticking around, for the likes, shares and comments. It's time to celebrate and abuse exclamation marks in excitement!!!

One winner gets to win a Fitbit Flex Wireless Activity and Sleep tracker!

Yup, it's time to be a doer and not just a reader. Don't wait until 2016 to start to get your physical activity habits right, trust me 2016  has fitness challenges in store for you already, so get a head start by tracking your activity with the Fitbit! Your Fitbit is stylish and makes your lifestyle adjustment to #fitfam a lot more trendy!

To win, all you have to do is hit the adorably blue subscribe button (or click here) and once you are all registered, let us know by commenting below. The winner will be contacted and together we'll draw up a plan to get your fitbit to you. 

Entry closes November 14th! (UPDATE: The winner has been sent an email)

(Open to residents of the US, UK, Canada and Nigeria.  Delivery time might vary for locations.)

Previous subscribers will be automatically considered for the giveaway but have to comment below as well.

All the best!

Fun bits of Phone Dating

It usually starts with your friend saying "I know this guy you might like."  You look suspiciously at her because that was what she said last month and following through on her recommendation, blind dates have now been tagged traumatic and a No-Na-ah for you. So skeptically, you eye her and ask that very question which we all ask at a blind date offer- "Do you have a picture?"

 Clearly, it follows that any one eligible for phone-dating or blind-dating be equipped wth a stash of recent pictures (taken in flattering light and with minimal editing). Emphasis on recent, no reliance on old glory, y'all. It's a very pivotal moment when that person sees your photo and either gasps(good gasp) or gasps(bad gasp). Put forward your best photos. If in doubt, ask a friend's opinion, nothing to be ashamed of, I have a friend who I bother all the time. Sometimes you think you look like your favorite Eva but you don't. You really don't. Again I say, get a friend's veto. 

A favorite bit of phone dating for me is the quality and pliancy of conversation. It was definitely more fun before social media, when we hd2abbrv8! Fun days. I guess many people think you're disadvantaged if you have to have conversations on the phone and  not face to face. Frankly, I think it helps to focus on building the intellectual communication aspect of the relationship before you meet in person, get to know him/her before the physical element distorts it all. I'm not saying that being face to face doesn't encourage intellectual roots but it does get a little distracting when you just met and you're staring into those dark eyes, in that perfect face, on this sweater-weather day, while you get all the butterflies in your tummy. Flicker goes the flame of intellect with those darn butterflies. 

Wait, random question, have you ever had butterflies while talking on the phone? I think I have! I wonder what the physiological interpretation of butterflies are. I'm going to find out and write a geeky post on it.  I'm kidding, like I write geeky posts. Hmmph.

In addition to developing roots, it also helps mute ignorance...e.g if the person uses a big word you can quickly check what in the world it means! Lol! I remember a guy once sent me a message with this huge word. My friend and I scrabbled everywhere looking for the meaning of the word so I could send an appropriate reply. This was before smart phones so I had to actually check my dictionary! .........and now I've dated myself and everyone will know how ancient I am. That day though, thanks to the ignorance-muting effect of phone dating, i was able to respond with an equally big word which took him an hour to respond to! A-ha! 

Another fun bit; phone farts and bathroom breaks.  Have you ever been on the phone with a person you really liked, early in the relationship and you need to go? As in go, like #2 go?  With #1 you can keep the person talking and mute the call so he doesn't hear you. But #2 is a hang up the phone situation. Don't try muffling the mic, muting or doing the tissue cushion trick. Hang it up. Do it. 

If nothing has been learnt from this post then let this be your take away; Your sexting screen shot is a heart beat away from becoming a meme these days. Hehe.

Date with Decorum💋

 What is your best bit about phone-dating? 

The Secret of the Unengaged Bride-to-be

4 years before Ed proposed, I went on a mock wedding dress hunt with my sister. It was entirely her idea and i had all the possible imaginable reservations about it. For one, I didn't want to be the "crazy" lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged......... but then again, why let all the "crazy" people have all the fun! So I booked an appointment with a local wedding store, over the phone, avoiding the question "When is your wedding?" ever so skillfully with a grunt, an "a-hem" and the word "Soon." At the appointment, the woman was definitely really, really interested in the date of the wedding, so i said it was "inconclusive" for now. I guess at this point she really just thought i WAS the crazy lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged; the one her manager always told her about.

In retrospect, i think this was the most important part of my wedding dress hunt adventure. From the trip, I was able  to understand what styles looked best on me; I knew I preferred mermaid gowns and off-shoulder neck styles (I always thought i'd be a Cinderella ball-gown-kinda girl). I knew lace it was and always would be. I knew my veil had to be a statement. I also became aware that sometimes when you don't know what you want some style managers try to force dresses on you. It was a real eye-opener for me ......and an eye-slanter for the suspicious style manager.

How to pull this off...

Let's get it out there; yes, you do require some level of nuttiness for this escapade and who isn't a little nutty, huh?  Apart from the benefits of acquired knowledge, it might also set things into motion if you tell your almost-fiancé about the appointment (not with the intention to manipulate him into proposing but just so he's aware and doesn't stumble on your photos one day on your dropbox account and has a heart attack); might get him thinking about the next move too. 

You can make it a girls' outing! Get a couple of your girlfriends, engaged or not and do a mock hunt (each of you could book appointments in different stores to avoid being thrown out into the streets, after buying absolutely nothing). My friend, Eki and I did it once on Oxford street. We ran around in the rain, ducking into shops soaking wet, much to the dismay of the preppy shop assistants. Then we ate street crêpes in-between the appointments and after it all, ended up in wasabi eating a spicy bowl of sweet chili chicken bento while flipping through photos of the dresses on our phones. Fun! 

It helped me streamline my wedding dress hunt. I also went for my real fitting very informed and confident. I knew exactly what I wanted which made the job easier for me and my style manager.  Not knowing what you want is the bane of every wedding-dress style manager's existence. I got a lot of "Thank God! You know what you want! That's impressive!" remarks.

 If only knowing what i wanted got me a discount, lol.

It also gets you thinking about themes, flowers, your hair and jewelry. It gets you planning a shopping budget and helps with being realistic with the numbers. Best of all, it's fun and a great way to spend an afternoon with your girlfriends without looking like the lone crazy woman who tries on dresses. 

Now when you start taking photos like this with no intentions of buying anything, you probably will get thrown out! Lol! Thank you Eki for letting me use this photo. mmuah! 

What are your thoughts on mock hunts? Do you know what styles you would like? Share with a friend who is nuts enough to try this with you...and then book some appointments!

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Why Christian Music gets Boring

Honestly, sometimes i get bored with christian music but that's only because i latch on to a particular playlist and i refuse to let go until i have Ed looking at me from the corner of his eye and he's like -Seriously? (He can sing Chris Tomlin’s Love Ran Red album backwards, thanks to me).

I know the solution would be to explore new playlists but i am a creature of habit with music and nail polish. Also, if you are like me and you like to  sing along, play invincible strings at the  bridge of the song or anticipate the build up and scream your head off in your living room in a praise cry (Think "With Everything"- United), you probably stick to the songs you know. However, recently, i just discovered a playlist on Spotify called “Why Christian Indie Music Doesn’t suck (with Folk and Acoustic music too).” So, it’s very indie and very folk-y! Love it, especially now that Fall is here. Check it out if you can.

If that's not your thing, try looking for new songs, so you don't get tired of your regular songs. One of the best sources for this, better than Spotify is - you! Yes, stop looking around. You. Try singing a song to God all by yourself. I mean one you composed. Before you panic there, it's pretty easy. Think of him and what he is to you, think of all the times he saved your butt! He fights our battles, most of them we don't even know about. He doesn't care about skill and the way your voice sounds.  I've been doing this for a while now and let me tell you, if i ever appeared on a talent show with any of these songs, i'd quickly go viral as a meme but it doesn't matter one bit to God. He doesn't care that you think you sound weird. He really just wants to hear and feel your spirit worship. He doesn't care if you have a tech team and microphones. I mean Paul and Si were singing in prison and check out the response. Just sing how you feel! 

Try throwbacks too. Sing old songs from different phases of your life that remind you of how strong and relentless his love for you is. It's usually an intense experience.

Still on this singing thing, I discovered one of the coolest, dopest things about God, which my mind is still unable to comprehend- God sings to us (Zeph 3 vs 17). Pause and try and imagine that. Whenever I imagine it and his mouth opening up to utter something.... I'm thinking, what is he saying? What does his singing voice sound like? Does he have back up? Is it Reggae? Why is he singing over me?!!! Honestly, it makes me uneasy but it also makes me wonder. I love that I have a God who SINGS for ME! And something tells me that sometimes he sings a new song and sometimes he does throwbacks; sometimes Reggae and sometimes he rocks an imaginary guitar!

 Do you get bored with christian music sometimes? How do you get over it? Do you have an imaginary guitar? 

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Weekend Plans!

Hey! Friday is here! Thanks for hanging in with me all week. If you are visiting for the first time this week, hey x 5! I hope your week was pleasantly eventful. Mine definitely was, so this weekend i am kicking back and getting in on some organizing projects (fun, bleh). What are you guys up to this weekend? 

The rest of my weekend plans: 

See "The Intern" with Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro

Make some awesomely moist banana bread

Shopping date with my friend, some fall boots are in order

Throw out most of my makeup

Go down town and check out the Sharwama in that little Meditterean restaurant

Ignore my pedometer (kidding) 

Organize my email before Monday, I have altogether like 9000  emails across all my boxes, tut-tut-tut

Talk to somebody about Christ

Trying one of these

A bit of spring cleaning in September and some wall art shopping

Paint my nails an interesting shade of rose pink

Find some new blogs to read! If you are a blogger, please drop your url below or if you have great recommendations, please suggest below! Thanks!

So, what are you doing this weekend?

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Happy New Blog!

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!!! This is our new space! Thank you to all who have followed me here. And a special thanks to all who gave me feedback on the old blog and in building this new one. There would be  additions and changes on our new space. First, the posts won't be as long. Lol. I know, i know, i hear you thanking me.  New also, are a couple of uniquely tagged posts. The most important being the "Selah" posts. They are bible-sourced inspirational posts, which I really look forward to writing. The "influencer" posts, which come up everyday are pretty new too . So brighten someone's day by sharing!  Other than those, we're still about becoming life-love-relationship hackers, full of adventure, loving food, people and God; here to chill and grow together.

Drop in anytime and if you feel comfortable dropping a comment, please do!

Happy New Blog!

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